I want your thoughts on this

[SoKlueles]

Do you think, that a person that was overweight.....i mean morbidly obese, and has zero self esteem would have twice as much self esteem if they lose the weight?
say they went from 250 to 150
Im mostly talking about females
I mean, they work hard, watch their fat intake and exercise....of course their self esteem is going to go up but do u think that they always think that they can lose "just a little more" to make them look even better and feel better about themselves?
I dont think, and this is from my personal experience, that they ever truly have high self esteem.
Also, do you think a woman who actually does have high self esteem would giggle and blush if a man gave her a compliment? In my opinion, a woman with high self esteem, would already know she looks good and doesnt need some stranger off the street telling her she looked good.
I remember when i was in highschool, yes i was a plumper
and i lost alot of weight....and my friend and I were walking down the street and these 2 guys were standing on the sidewalk...my friend...who was kinda overweight....went around them....but not me, i walked thru them. I had alot more self confidence than she did, but i was 17 then too. if you saw the picture of me in my currrent drivers license you would say eek.....i do think i look alot better now....but i dont think my self esteem is up to par

 

[alien amp pharm]

I think they'll always have low self esteem, especially if they have grown up a fatty most all their life.

This is why I hit on these girls.

 

[nycgirl]

There are times I feel secure about my looks and there are times I don't. Regardless, of how I feel and whether or not I need the compliment, there is nothing wrong with getting a compliment/e-compliment from a friend, stranger, etc. that makes me blush and giggle.

 

[SoKlueles]

I think they'll always have low self esteem, especially if they have grown up a fatty most all their life.

This is why I hit on these girls.

Seriously, these girls have probably been called fatty and stuff all their life. Of course, they are going to have lower self esteem than someone that hasnt been fat all their lives.

 

[Cutiebaby]

klu i weigh 102 and i am small in a junior size 1 sometimes size 3, the only time i was big was after childbirth....my self esteem is on the low side....with that being said no......a low self esteem person will most likely always have some hint of low self esteem no matter what they look like

 

[SoKlueles]

I disagree with this one "Also, do you think a woman who actually does have high self esteem would giggle and blush if a man gave her a compliment? In my opinion, a woman with high self esteem, would already know she looks good and doesnt need some stranger off the street telling her she looked good."

There are times I feel secure about my looks and there are times I don't. Regardless, of how I feel and whether or not I need the compliment, there is nothing wrong with getting a compliment/e-compliment from a friend, stranger, etc. that makes me blush and giggle.

so in your opinion, they do have high self esteem?
I dont think so. I think that if a woman is that secure with herself she already knows it and doesnt need reassurance from a male. I giggle and snort and stuff when i get compliments from men, but i have low self esteem and i also turn beet red too. I dont know how to handle the situation because I was obese most of my life and was told this on a regular basis.

 

[alien amp pharm]

any of you explumpers posting in this thread want to hook up w/me?

 

[pintoca]

from personal experience... I was 265lbs 9 months ago, I am down to 199 just now... still think of myself as a fatty (even though the people that knows me constantly say I don't need to diet anymore and that I lool "skinny" right now... the bastards).

Guess it takes a while for your brain to get used to your new "you", to accept it and to actually say "well, you actually are not fat anylonger"... as for room for improvement, there is ALWAYS room for improvement when it comes to physical appearance, no matter how good you look now. It is for you to decide, when you have reached your goals and set new ones... this is a never ending story

 

[SoKlueles]

klu i weigh 102 and i am small in a junior size 1 sometimes size 3, the only time i was big was after childbirth....my self esteem is on the low side....with that being said no......a low self esteem person will most likely always have some hint of low self esteem no matter what they look like

Do you think that the way a person is treated at home is part of it? Noo dont get me wrong, im not saying that your hubby degrades you and stuff. ive seen your pic, you are not fat.....but theres always something do u agree, that keeps our esteems down.
I even had an uncle that would call me fat when i was a kid.......you always remember these things.

 

[foreigngirl]

well, I know when I was 156lbs I had low self esteem, I was embaressed even from my husband. Then I got sick of it, went down to 130lbs and when I felt guys looks on me, no I didnt blush, I would just raise my head even higher, cause I was proud of myself and the low self esteem was gone...now its back again (just a little bit) cause I gained weight when I was pregnant (I just gave birth 3 months ago)

 

[hamstershaver]

what do you weigh now?

 

[jenscats5]

It's a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. If you were chubby as a child & made fun of by your peers & relatives for being so, then you may see yourself as chubby -- even after you lose the weight & look a normal bodyweight.

Now, self esteem can vary widely from person to person -- so it's not necessarily an all encompassing thing.....

 

[SoKlueles]

from personal experience... I was 265lbs 9 months ago, I am down to 199 just now... still think of myself as a fatty (even though the people that knows me constantly say I don't need to diet anymore and that I lool "skinny" right now... the bastards).

Guess it takes a while for your brain to get used to your new "you", to accept it and to actually say "well, you actually are not fat anylonger"... as for room for improvement, there is ALWAYS room for improvement when it comes to physical appearance, no matter how good you look now. It is for you to decide, when you have reached your goals and set new ones... this is a never ending story

Do you think that everyones self esteem is lower than they would like it to be? Do you think its an act when someone has a "im a perfect 10" attitude?

 

[nycgirl]

so in your opinion, they do have high self esteem?
I dont think so. I think that if a woman is that secure with herself she already knows it and doesnt need reassurance from a male. I giggle and snort and stuff when i get compliments from men, but i have low self esteem and i also turn beet red too. I dont know how to handle the situation because I was obese most of my life and was told this on a regular basis.

I totally disagree. I don't know, I giggle at everything, so maybe that is just me. And sometimes things make me blush. It isn't about reassurance all the time.

 

[Cutiebaby]

Do you think that the way a person is treated at home is part of it? Noo dont get me wrong, im not saying that your hubby degrades you and stuff. ive seen your pic, you are not fat.....but theres always something do u agree, that keeps our esteems down.
I even had an uncle that would call me fat when i was a kid.......you always remember these things.

it could be that...my hubby constantly tells me that a am pretty and such but my esteem has always been not as high as it should be.i was never called fat as a kid....deep down i have an idea as to where my low esteem comes from...maybe it is some thing all girls go through who knows

 

[SoKlueles]

it could be that...my hubby constantly tells me that a am pretty and such but my esteem has always been not as high as it should be.i was never called fat as a kid....deep down i have an idea as to where my low esteem comes from...maybe it is some thing all girls go through who knows

I agree. I believe that women have a certain stigma that they are supposed to be rail thin, have perfect hair, everything..
I think part of why I dont put a pic on EF is because my self esteem sucks and i couldnt take any criticism, even if it is constructive.

 

[nycgirl]

I think part of why I dont put a pic on EF is because my self esteem sucks and i couldnt take any criticism, even if it is constructive.

This I can relate to. Actually, posting my pics have helped me alot. I posted progress pics (when I was at my worse and recent progress pics) not just face pics It was hard at first, but then after I received compliments/comments (even constructive), I realized how stupid I was being about the posting pics.

 

[Cutiebaby]

I agree. I believe that women have a certain stigma that they are supposed to be rail thin, have perfect hair, everything..
I think part of why I dont put a pic on EF is because my self esteem sucks and i couldnt take any criticism, even if it is constructive.

see i didnt really care about posting a pic here i am not going to see these people...they are not that mean here...i seen a pic recently that was horrible and no one critisized about it.....any how yes i feel the same way...but what really matters is what is on the inside......and girls often forget this.and they care more about there looks and such

 

[SoKlueles]

This I can relate to. Actually, posting my pics have helped me alot. I posted progress pics (when I was at my worse and recent progress pics) not just face pics It was hard at first, but then after I received compliments/comments (even constructive), I realized how stupid I was being about the posting pics.

of course your self esteem is going to get higher when you lose bf and weight. Im talking about total self esteem. I think that someone that has total self esteem would not need reassurance from strangers to tell them they look hot.
They should already know this.

 

[HiDnGoD]

I think if a person loses weight their self esteem may rise a little, but deep down they still think of themselves as worthless. I was always shy & had low self esteem, not sure why. Around 20 Y.O. I started to change. It is a long process for me. Reading self help books helped. I think a lot of people have low self esteem, whether it is apparent or not. I have always been fat. I'm solid & strong though, so I don't see myself as fat. Whenever I look in the mirror & see myself it's like, "Fuck, what happened to you?"
What people need to realize is:
A. You weren't born perfect. Life takes practice.
B. Everyone else is just as as fucked up as you think you are. Most more so.
C. Those that don't fit into B. are either very blessed, or have worked to overcome.
D. This may sound really hokey but, hatred & prejudice will not allow you to overcome. Until you accept others' faults/flaws, you cannot accept yourself.

 

[SoKlueles]

see i didnt really care about posting a pic here i am not going to see these people...they are not that mean here...i seen a pic recently that was horrible and no one critisized about it.....any how yes i feel the same way...but what really matters is what is on the inside......and girls often forget this.and they care more about there looks and such

its not just girls that forget about it
Do you remember the movie Shallow Hal?
if everyone was like him, the world would be a less catty place.

 

[SoKlueles]

I think if a person loses weight their self esteem may rise a little, but deep down they still think of themselves as worthless. I was always shy & had low self esteem, not sure why. Around 20 Y.O. I started to change. It is a long process for me. Reading self help books helped. I think a lot of people have low self esteem, whether it is apparent or not. I have always been fat. I'm solid & strong though, so I don't see myself as fat. Whenever I look in the mirror & see myself it's like, "Fuck, what happened to you?"
What people need to realize is:
A. You weren't born perfect. Life takes practice.
B. Everyone else is just as as fucked up as you think you are. Most more so.
C. Those that don't fit into B. are either very blessed, or have worked to overcome.

Very good post
I was at the point of trying to get gastric by pass surgery but they wouldnt touch me because I had crohns disease.....but before that they wanted me to see a psychologist to see if i would adapt to losing weight and the things that were to come after that. I think now, i see why.

 

[Cutiebaby]

of course your self esteem is going to get higher when you lose bf and weight. Im talking about total self esteem. I think that someone that has total self esteem would not need reassurance from strangers to tell them they look hot.
They should already know this.

i agree completely...if a girl has complete self esteem with no issues than why would she need a guy to tell her she looks great and all that...she already knows it.....maybe she wants to here a guy so her head can blow up more...ever notice the ppl with awesome self esteem are complete snobs that are stuck up and think that there shit dont stink....lol glad im not that bad

 

[nycgirl]

of course your self esteem is going to get higher when you lose bf and weight. Im talking about total self esteem. I think that someone that has total self esteem would not need reassurance from strangers to tell them they look hot.
They should already know this.

Again, you are wrong. I was told I was good looking on the streets when I was heavier and I'm told that now. I didn't post my pics for reassurance. I posted my progress pics to show the girls how I was doing and to be critiqued.

 

[SoKlueles]

Again, you are wrong. I was told I was good looking on the streets when I was heavier and I'm told that now. I didn't post my pics for reassurance. I posted my progress pics to show the girls how I was doing and to be critiqued.

No im not wrong, its my opinion. This is a debate of sorts and everyone has their right to their opinion. and that is mine, just as your opinion is yours.

 

[gonelifting]

Soklu, you are awesome. No matter what you look like.

OK now... Being confident is in your mind. You see overweight people everywhere and some of them are the most confident people you'll find. Why is that? They don't have perfect bodies. That says they don't need perfect bodies to be confident. They know what they're capable of in their mind. They know what they have...

There are many different aspects to self confidence. Not only physical but stuff like the relationship you may be in, your family and how they treat you, how well you're doing at work and if you're financially stable, how smart you are... etc... All these thing together can make up a person's confidence IN ADDITION TO how fat one is. If you have all the rest, but are overweight, you might be better off than other "fat" women who don't have it. Confidence is a lifestyle. Look at a confident person and you're not only looking at a "nice" body, but a LIFE that is filled with good or "happy" or whatever stuff. Surround yourself with the above things AND get into better shape and you'll never go back to being unconfident.

 

[nycgirl]

No im not wrong, its my opinion. This is a debate of sorts and everyone has their right to their opinion. and that is mine, just as your opinion is yours.

I agree that you have a right to your opinion.

I've seen girls with low self-esteem (including me at one time) that did not giggle and walk through crowds and went home and cried alone. So, the giggle and blush argument doesn't make sense to me.

 

[jenscats5]

of course your self esteem is going to get higher when you lose bf and weight. Im talking about total self esteem. I think that someone that has total self esteem would not need reassurance from strangers to tell them they look hot.
They should already know this.

i agree completely...if a girl has complete self esteem with no issues than why would she need a guy to tell her she looks great and all that...she already knows it.....maybe she wants to here a guy so her head can blow up more...ever notice the ppl with awesome self esteem are complete snobs that are stuck up and think that there shit dont stink....lol glad im not that bad

See, I don't think a person's self-esteem will necessarily increase when they lose weight/bf. And someone whose self-esteem is low before & after weight loss may place more into those comments from strangers as they may need more affirmation to see themselves in a new light....the new, thinner them.

Now, those women who are already hot, etc may still seek affirmation from others to try to offset their insecurity or reinforce their narcisscism.

I think it's totally dependant on the person....

 

[SoKlueles]

i agree completely...if a girl has complete self esteem with no issues than why would she need a guy to tell her she looks great and all that...she already knows it.....maybe she wants to here a guy so her head can blow up more...ever notice the ppl with awesome self esteem are complete snobs that are stuck up and think that there shit dont stink....lol glad im not that bad

Good post lol and true IMO

 

[big4life]

While the outside shell and how people treat you affects your self esteem in a way, the bigger influence is what is going on inside you. What do you see when you look in the mirror? or how do you feel about yourself?

 

[nycgirl]

See, I don't think a person's self-esteem will necessarily increase when they lose weight/bf. And someone whose self-esteem is low before & after weight loss may place more into those comments from strangers as they may need more affirmation to see themselves in a new light....the new, thinner them.

Now, those women who are already hot, etc may still seek affirmation from others to try to offset their insecurity or reinforce their narcisscism.

I think it's totally dependant on the person....

Exactly. Good post.

 

[SoKlueles]

I agree that you have a right to your opinion.

I've seen girls with low self-esteem (including me at one time) that did not giggle and walk through crowds and went home and cried alone. So, the giggle and blush argument doesn't make sense to me.

Well like i said, this is a debate and i want to hear both sides of the story. I want to know what other people think about the subject.

 

[alien amp pharm]

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Every ladies dream

 

[jenscats5]

Exactly. Good post.

I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong....

 

[nycgirl]

I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong....

Hee Hee.

 

[SoKlueles]

Soklu, you are awesome. No matter what you look like.

OK now... Being confident is in your mind. You see overweight people everywhere and some of them are the most confident people you'll find. Why is that? They don't have perfect bodies. That says they don't need perfect bodies to be confident. They know what they're capable of in their mind. They know what they have...

There are many different aspects to self confidence. Not only physical but stuff like the relationship you may be in, your family and how they treat you, how well you're doing at work and if you're financially stable, how smart you are... etc... All these thing together can make up a person's confidence IN ADDITION TO how fat one is. If you have all the rest, but are overweight, you might be better off than other "fat" women who don't have it. Confidence is a lifestyle. Look at a confident person and you're not only looking at a "nice" body, but a LIFE that is filled with good or "happy" or whatever stuff. Surround yourself with the above things AND get into better shape and you'll never go back to being unconfident.

You rock. I so agree with this post I have other issues with my body besides weight as a child I think(but i dont hate them) taht my parents hsould have taken me to some therapy or something. I agree, if you fill yourself with love and postive karma, and know that those around you love you, you should have high self esteem. maybe i should red hammy everytime he calls me a plumper?
I myself think that actually having self esteem is awesome....ive came along way from what i was before, but i dont think we all totally get there. I may be wrong and this is what this thread is about.

 

[SoKlueles]

While the outside shell and how people treat you affects your self esteem in a way, the bigger influence is what is going on inside you. What do you see when you look in the mirror? or how do you feel about yourself?

I , personally, hate looking in the mirror. Hammy says im too worried about how i look. I think its from low self esteem.

 

[Cutiebaby]

No im not wrong, its my opinion. This is a debate of sorts and everyone has their right to their opinion. and that is mine, just as your opinion is yours.

amen lol......

 

[SoKlueles]

See, I don't think a person's self-esteem will necessarily increase when they lose weight/bf. And someone whose self-esteem is low before & after weight loss may place more into those comments from strangers as they may need more affirmation to see themselves in a new light....the new, thinner them.

Now, those women who are already hot, etc may still seek affirmation from others to try to offset their insecurity or reinforce their narcisscism.

I think it's totally dependant on the person....

I you jenny
I do think that a persons self esteem gets higher when they lose weight. Ive saw people that couldnt fit into amusement park rides because they were big and all the people around them look at them and either make fun of them or feel sorry for them.
Then when they lose weight they want to go back to the amusement park just so they can ride the rides

 

[strangebrew]

It's all in their mind, no matter what they look like.

A lot of it will have to do with the environment they grew up in.

I was painfully shy and had zero self-confidence between the ages of 5-18. All it took was me getting completely fed up with my life and a simple change of mindset.

 

[nycgirl]

It's all in their mind, no matter what they look like.
All it took was me getting completely fed up with my life and a simple change of mindset.

Exactly, I don't think there is a debate about it. It is totally dependent on the person. It requires a change (I wouldn't call it simple) of mindset. I've seen 300lb women with more self-esteem than 105lb women (so self-esteem isn't dependent upon weight). These ladies would strut down the street and didn't care what anybody thought of them. They were full of confidence and beauty.

 

[strangebrew]

Exactly, I don't think there is a debate about it. It is totally dependent on the person. It requires a change (I wouldn't call it simple) of mindset. I've seen 300lb women with more self-esteem than 105lb women (so self-esteem isn't dependent upon weight).

It's not "simple" at first, but when you do change you realize how easy it was.

I look back at my earlier days and just laugh. I can't believe how idiotic I was.

The very "idea" of being insecure makes no sense to me anymore.

 

[SoKlueles]

It's all in their mind, no matter what they look like.

A lot of it will have to do with the environment they grew up in.

I was painfully shy and had zero self-confidence between the ages of 5-18. All it took was me getting completely fed up with my life and a simple change of mindset.

That is a good reply. Everything isnt as black and white as some people think. Maybe its not just weight that gives people low self esteem. it may be a factor of many things.

 

[nycgirl]

It's not "simple" at first, but when you do change you realize how easy it was.

I look back at my earlier days and just laugh. I can't believe how idiotic I was.

The very "idea" of being insecure makes no sense to me anymore.

That's the point I was trying to make earlier with regard to me posting pics. It had nothing to do with me losing weight or bodyfat (when I was a lot smaller than this I hated people seeing pics of myself). I recently realized how idiotic I was and now working on the idea that being insecure makes no sense to me anymore.

 

[hamstershaver]

this thread is what the iron angels board was made for fattys

 

[SoKlueles]

this thread is what the iron angels board was made for fattys

could this be why my self esteem sucks? hmmmmmmm

 

[TC2]

In my experience when a fatty loses weight their self estem sky rockets to the point of being arrogant.

And most of these people REALLY don't look as good as they think.

You get some woman that loses 50 lbs....yeah good for you.. but you still weigh 250 lbs, now FOR THE LOVE OF JEBUS, STOP WEARING THE HALF SHIRTS.

 

[hamstershaver]

could this be why my self esteem sucks? hmmmmmmm

dont you start on me it sucked way before i ever met you

 

[SoKlueles]

In my experience when a fatty loses weight their self estem sky rockets to the point of being arrogant.

And most of these people REALLY don't look as good as they think.

You get some woman that loses 50 lbs....yeah good for you.. but you still weigh 250 lbs, now FOR THE LOVE OF JEBUS, STOP WEARING THE HALF SHIRTS.

exactly why most people who lose weight have low self esteem
if the half shirts make them feel sexy, then whats it to you? a complete stranger

 

[SoKlueles]

dont you start on me it sucked way before i ever met you

true
dang someone is evil

 

[nutsnack]

self esteem is over rated.. if everyone had it people like evansteve (foxygel) wouldn't ever get laid!

 

[TC2]

exactly why most people who lose weight have low self esteem
if the half shirts make them feel sexy, then whats it to you? a complete stranger

No.. don't even give me that shit, you tellin me that wearing a shirt with your gut flopping out and jiggling like oh so much jello makes one feel sexy??

Yeah I'm a complete stranger but I don't want to see that shit the same way I don't want to see some dudes cock hangin out of his zipper.

 

[dahamn]

It's all based on what other people think about us, if we could just get past that.


Dave

 

[hamstershaver]

i love when plumpers wear half shirts, gives me wood, it also gets me punched in the ribs if i get caught looking

 

[nycgirl]

exactly why most people who lose weight have low self esteem
if the half shirts make them feel sexy, then whats it to you? a complete stranger

SoKlu, are you saying that if a woman lost weight and wore half shirts or whatever that she has low self-esteem and she is doing it to feel sexy and to receive reassurance via the compliments of strangers?

 

[Cutiebaby]

this thread is what the iron angels board was made for fattys

shush hammy..........i am not a fatty....omg...klu rid of this esteem dropper!!!!!!! lol......you know you like fatties....

 

[SoKlueles]

SoKlu, are you saying that if a woman lost weight and wore half shirts or whatever that she has low self-esteem and she is doing it to feel sexy and to receive reassurance via the compliments of strangers?

possibly. Maybe she wants people to see that she has lost weight. She has something to be proud of. that doesnt mean she has high self esteem
I can wear a push up padded bra and make people think i got big boobs, even when i dont.

 

[slat1]

Okay... I may be departing from my sexual deviant self here...
Being fat is not the problem. Being fat is the result of the problem. There is something inside the person that they are not entirely happy with. Sure you could lose a lot of fat and feel better... but the problem still exists inside. If you can locate the inner problem and cure it everything else will fall into place.
There is an analogy for this:
If you burn you arm what do you do?
You put ointment on it to help it heal. You bandage it.
What you don't do is paint it skin toned. Sure it would look fine. The problem would still exist beneath the paint though. The arm would be rotting. You would have cosmeticly covered the problem. You did not cure it.
That said. I think losing wieght is important for anyone who is obese. When you see someone take control of their life and not take no for an answer... its moving.
I was almost 30% body fat when I got out of college. I ran every day. I didn't lose a pound.
I got sick of it and educated myself. I lost 53 pounds without doing any cardio. I ate properly and lifted wieghts.
I felt a little better about myself. The odd thing. I am actually more self conscious now. Because I have only a few flaws I tend to focus on them. I can no longer see the improvements I made every place else.
In the end what I realized was this. I did not think I was a good person. Nor did I think I had a lot to offer. It really wasn't how I looked that controlled how I perceived myself. It was how I felt about myself as a person...

 

[Cutiebaby]

possibly. Maybe she wants people to see that she has lost weight. She has something to be proud of. that doesnt mean she has high self esteem
I can wear a push up padded bra and make people think i got big boobs, even when i dont.

hey klu when i was 16 (before i had kids) i weighed 94 lbs i wore miny shirts tube tops and short shorts all the time...i did it so that guys would notice how small i am...and compliment me.......i had low self esteem...i agree with your points of view......

 

[slat1]

That said. Post up some sexy pictures ladies... I think I just shared a moment. I need something to make me feel more like a man.
* I already went outside and broke something. That didn't help.

 

[SoKlueles]

Okay... I may be departing from my sexual deviant self here...
Being fat is not the problem. Being fat is the result of the problem. There is something inside the person that they are not entirely happy with. Sure you could lose a lot of fat and feel better... but the problem still exists inside. If you can locate the inner problem and cure it everything else will fall into place.
There is an analogy for this:
If you burn you arm what do you do?
You put ointment on it to help it heal. You bandage it.
What you don't do is paint it skin toned. Sure it would look fine. The problem would still exist beneath the paint though. The arm would be rotting. You would have cosmeticly covered the problem. You did not cure it.
That said. I think losing wieght is important for anyone who is obese. When you see someone take control of their life and not take no for an answer... its moving.
I was almost 30% body fat when I got out of college. I ran every day. I didn't lose a pound.
I got sick of it and educated myself. I lost 53 pounds without doing any cardio. I ate properly and lifted wieghts.
I felt a little better about myself. The odd thing. I am actually more self conscious now. Because I have only a few flaws I tend to focus on them. I can no longer see the improvements I made every place else.
In the end what I realized was this. I did not think I was a good person. Nor did I think I had a lot to offer. It really wasn't how I looked that controlled how I perceived myself. It was how I felt about myself as a person...

You look at yourself and think......dang my thighs could be smaller.....or my arms could be bigger right?
your never completely happy with yourself.....i know im not

 

[slat1]

You look at yourself and think......dang my thighs could be smaller.....or my arms could be bigger right?
your never completely happy with yourself.....i know im not

I generally think about what I have done in the past that I regret. That translates to me thinking I don't look good. I have turned a corner where I know realize that my past is just that... the past. I am stronger for making it through it.
I try to concentrate on the present and future. When I do that I don't care as much where my bf% is. As long as I am being a good person that is all that matters to me now!
Now that I have exposed myself as a man in touch with his femanine side.. ladies, sex with Uncle Slat?

 

[KillzwithPillz]

I dont think losing wieght is the answer they are hoping it will be, co-worker was 460 lbs, had surgery and is down 200+ still having problems and thoughts of suicide.. that is why when I feel blue I know its more than physical mtoivation I need. "A Contented Mind Is one of man's Greatest Treasures" truely be happy and at peace with yourself and life will be what you want..

 

[HiDnGoD]

Sometimes I wonder, what can be the root cause of all of this. Here we are, a bunch of people from diverse places around the continent (globe). Different genders, racial backgrounds, ages, socio-economic histories etc. Yet we are all battling, or did battle self esteem issues. Is it a natural human condition? Or is it some sort of external influence like TV, society etc.?

 

[habitualhealth]

Okay... I may be departing from my sexual deviant self here...
Being fat is not the problem. Being fat is the result of the problem. There is something inside the person that they are not entirely happy with. Sure you could lose a lot of fat and feel better... but the problem still exists inside. If you can locate the inner problem and cure it everything else will fall into place.
There is an analogy for this:
If you burn you arm what do you do?
You put ointment on it to help it heal. You bandage it.
What you don't do is paint it skin toned. Sure it would look fine. The problem would still exist beneath the paint though. The arm would be rotting. You would have cosmeticly covered the problem. You did not cure it.
That said. I think losing wieght is important for anyone who is obese. When you see someone take control of their life and not take no for an answer... its moving.
I was almost 30% body fat when I got out of college. I ran every day. I didn't lose a pound.
I got sick of it and educated myself. I lost 53 pounds without doing any cardio. I ate properly and lifted wieghts.
I felt a little better about myself. The odd thing. I am actually more self conscious now. Because I have only a few flaws I tend to focus on them. I can no longer see the improvements I made every place else.
In the end what I realized was this. I did not think I was a good person. Nor did I think I had a lot to offer. It really wasn't how I looked that controlled how I perceived myself. It was how I felt about myself as a person...

Great post. Funny, i've had a few conversations lately with "friends" regarding this topic.

After reading everyone's posts....there are a lot of great points made. I feel like insecurties and self confidence (or lack thereof) can surface from many aspects in life....not just weight issues. I started the whole diet/workout strictness back in january to lose weight and to feel better about myself. But if/when I am completely honest about all the reasons WHY...it wasnt merely because i looked in the mirror with disgust. I've also has a childhood of parents dishing out chubby jokes, had someone I loved WITH ALL MY HEART leave for someone who had that perfect body.....want to talk about a kick start to insecurities. Have someone tell you how much they love you....BUT. I created my own insecurities based on that alone. Was I not pretty enough? Was I too fat? Was it the weight i gained with the pregancy? Why wasn't I good enough? What did I need to do to get him back? Truth be told, thinking of what I put myself through at that time in my life makes me tear up now. Like bigdawg said what's important is how you feel on the inside? I was never ugly...well, that's a lie...you should've seen me in the braces and coke bottle glasses days....but we create our own insecurities based on what we think we should be....and perhaps are not. Someone else said in the thread...reasons for insecurities differ from person to person.

I've lost ALOT of weight since Jan this year. Really transformed my entire body, but where i've argued with a few friends of mine, to get our body where we want it...takes SERIOUS time and dedication before we start seeing changes. Same with self image....it's not like *POOF* "omg, look at me, i've lost all this weight, i love me, i'm the best me I can be, oh i'm so hot, whoo hoo"...self image also takes time to change. FOR ME, I cant say I'll ever have the confidence that i WANT. 37lbs heavier/lighter....I am still humble and know where I came from. I think if everyone had an appreciation for where people are...where they came from...and just accepted them for who they really are....we'd see a rapid increase of confidence and security in the world. I'm with pintoca on this one....i think i'm more self critical now than i was before i began all this.

As for the attention aspect you all touched on....I don't think people get attention just because of their looks/weight/bod. Take EF for example, if we all look in perspective....why do you really like the people you like? Sure, we can all post pics...clothed, not clothed, flexing or not...but we've really identified with personalities, substance, wit, intellect (or lack thereof ) and is why we like who we do/dont like. I really appreciate all the compliments I get on here....but i can't rely on the EFers of america to keep my confidence high. Getting compliments..regardless of who they are from....makes ANYONE feel good. One thing I noticed about EF is that even when I posted up my heavier pics...all the gals and guys complimented me. People feed off of substance. Whether you're hot or not, skinny or fat, that's the one thing they see the most. What you are REALLY all about.

I think the biggest lie many people (not everyone) live in is "i dont care what anyone thinks about me...this is me, screw you if you dont like it". I say, do what makes you happy, make goals for yourself that are attainable, if losing weight makes you feel better about yourself, dont let anyone hinder that.

For some jacked up reason: Negative comments are always easier to believe than the positive. You can receive 1500 awesome compliments/comments in a day and have one person follow up with something negative/ugly and it void out all the other. Weird how we humans operate.

 

[SoKlueles]

Great post. Funny, i've had a few conversations lately with "friends" regarding this topic.

After reading everyone's posts....there are a lot of great points made. I feel like insecurties and self confidence (or lack thereof) can surface from many aspects in life....not just weight issues. I started the whole diet/workout strictness back in january to lose weight and to feel better about myself. But if/when I am completely honest about all the reasons WHY...it wasnt merely because i looked in the mirror with disgust. I've also has a childhood of parents dishing out chubby jokes, had someone I loved WITH ALL MY HEART leave for someone who had that perfect body.....want to talk about a kick start to insecurities. Have someone tell you how much they love you....BUT. I created my own insecurities based on that alone. Was I not pretty enough? Was I too fat? Was it the weight i gained with the pregancy? Why wasn't I good enough? What did I need to do to get him back? Truth be told, thinking of what I put myself through at that time in my life makes me tear up now. Like bigdawg said what's important is how you feel on the inside? I was never ugly...well, that's a lie...you should've seen me in the braces and coke bottle glasses days....but we create our own insecurities based on what we think we should be....and perhaps are not. Someone else said in the thread...reasons for insecurities differ from person to person.

I've lost ALOT of weight since Jan this year. Really transformed my entire body, but where i've argued with a few friends of mine, to get our body where we want it...takes SERIOUS time and dedication before we start seeing changes. Same with self image....it's not like *POOF* "omg, look at me, i've lost all this weight, i love me, i'm the best me I can be, oh i'm so hot, whoo hoo"...self image also takes time to change. FOR ME, I cant say I'll ever have the confidence that i WANT. 37lbs heavier/lighter....I am still humble and know where I came from. I think if everyone had an appreciation for where people are...where they came from...and just accepted them for who they really are....we'd see a rapid increase of confidence and security in the world. I'm with pintoca on this one....i think i'm more self critical now than i was before i began all this.

As for the attention aspect you all touched on....I don't think people get attention just because of their looks/weight/bod. Take EF for example, if we all look in perspective....why do you really like the people you like? Sure, we can all post pics...clothed, not clothed, flexing or not...but we've really identified with personalities, substance, wit, intellect (or lack thereof ) and is why we like who we do/dont like. I really appreciate all the compliments I get on here....but i can't rely on the EFers of america to keep my confidence high. Getting compliments..regardless of who they are from....makes ANYONE feel good. One thing I noticed about EF is that even when I posted up my heavier pics...all the gals and guys complimented me. People feed off of substance. Whether you're hot or not, skinny or fat, that's the one thing they see the most. What you are REALLY all about.

I think the biggest lie many people (not everyone) live in is "i dont care what anyone thinks about me...this is me, screw you if you dont like it". I say, do what makes you happy, make goals for yourself that are attainable, if losing weight makes you feel better about yourself, dont let anyone hinder that.

For some jacked up reason: Negative comments are always easier to believe than the positive. You can receive 1500 awesome compliments/comments in a day and have one person follow up with something negative/ugly and it void out all the other. Weird how we humans operate.

very good post
btw i got a snack before i read ur post

so your basically saying that our problems arent answered by losing weight if we are fat....there are other problems beneath the obesity
that everyone has their own issues with their body whether it be obesity, looks or just something htats happened in their life
i really like this post hooker

 

[alien amp pharm]

very good post
btw i got a snack before i read ur post

so your basically saying that our problems arent answered by losing weight if we are fat....there are other problems beneath the obesity
that everyone has their own issues with their body whether it be obesity, looks or just something htats happened in their life
i really like this post hooker

She's not a hooker!


...hookers charge money.


anyways, nice post HH. Good points even though I don't agree with all of them.

 

[SoKlueles]

She's not a hooker!


...hookers charge money.


anyways, nice post HH. Good points even though I don't agree with all of them.

DUDE
post your debate
this is what this thread is for

 

[alien amp pharm]

DUDE
post your debate
this is what this thread is for

heck no. I'm not getting into a debate with HH's book-long rebuttals.

 

[SoKlueles]

heck no. I'm not getting into a debate with HH's book-long rebuttals.

no shit they would close this thread because it took up too much air time

 

[habitualhealth]

stop talking about me assheads.

 

[SoKlueles]

stop talking about me assheads.

oh hi

 

[habitualhealth]

very good post
btw i got a snack before i read ur post

so your basically saying that our problems arent answered by losing weight if we are fat....there are other problems beneath the obesity
that everyone has their own issues with their body whether it be obesity, looks or just something htats happened in their life
i really like this post hooker

Who are you now, Dr. Phil? Trying to interpret everyone's post. I didn't stutter woman.

I think it's easy to make excuses for what we feel inside. If you can solve your insecurities by getting the bod you want...thumbs up. If not, delve into what is really causing the issues. That's all Dr. Phil.

 

[SoKlueles]

Who are you now, Dr. Phil? Trying to interpret everyone's post. I didn't stutter woman.

I think it's easy to make excuses for what we feel inside. If you can solve your insecurities by getting the bod you want...thumbs up. If not, delve into what is really causing the issues. That's all Dr. Phil.

thanks Ellen now do a dance for us
seriously....your right. I soooooo know i have stupid insecurities.....but weight is not all that factors in this
but i was just wondering what other ppl thought about it

 

[habitualhealth]

thanks Ellen now do a dance for us
seriously....your right. I soooooo know i have stupid insecurities.....but weight is not all that factors in this
but i was just wondering what other ppl thought about it

Ohhh, i love Ellen. Not in the "Ellen" lovin' kind of way tho.

 

[Yummy1]

Do you think, that a person that was overweight.....i mean morbidly obese, and has zero self esteem would have twice as much self esteem if they lose the weight?
say they went from 250 to 150
Im mostly talking about females
I mean, they work hard, watch their fat intake and exercise....of course their self esteem is going to go up but do u think that they always think that they can lose "just a little more" to make them look even better and feel better about themselves?
I dont think, and this is from my personal experience, that they ever truly have high self esteem.
Also, do you think a woman who actually does have high self esteem would giggle and blush if a man gave her a compliment? In my opinion, a woman with high self esteem, would already know she looks good and doesnt need some stranger off the street telling her she looked good.
I remember when i was in highschool, yes i was a plumper
and i lost alot of weight....and my friend and I were walking down the street and these 2 guys were standing on the sidewalk...my friend...who was kinda overweight....went around them....but not me, i walked thru them. I had alot more self confidence than she did, but i was 17 then too. if you saw the picture of me in my currrent drivers license you would say eek.....i do think i look alot better now....but i dont think my self esteem is up to par

‘’Do you think, that a person that was overweight.....I mean morbidly obese, and has zero self esteem would have twice as much self esteem if they lose the weight?
say they went from 250 to 150.’’

Not necessarily, true confidence doesn’t come from outward appearance.

I’ve heard of women who subconsciously stay heavy because being thin would expose them sexually suggestive attention. This applies mostly to women who were molested as children

‘’Also, do you think a woman who actually does have high self esteem would giggle and blush if a man gave her a compliment? In my opinion, a woman with high self esteem, would already know she looks good and doesn’t need some stranger off the street telling her she looked good.’’

If the woman is confidant, the compliment (assuming it wasn’t said in a perverted manner) will be well taken. I think woman who scold people for complimenting them are the ones who are insecure. They might not feel as though they deserve the compliment.

People that make fun of and put down fat people are the ones who suffer from the most insecurity.

When somebody compliments me I smile and say thank you.

 

[SoKlueles]

nice post yummy

 

[Yummy1]

nice post yummy

 

[slat1]

Great post. Funny, i've had a few conversations lately with "friends" regarding this topic.

After reading everyone's posts....there are a lot of great points made. I feel like insecurties and self confidence (or lack thereof) can surface from many aspects in life....not just weight issues. I started the whole diet/workout strictness back in january to lose weight and to feel better about myself. But if/when I am completely honest about all the reasons WHY...it wasnt merely because i looked in the mirror with disgust. I've also has a childhood of parents dishing out chubby jokes, had someone I loved WITH ALL MY HEART leave for someone who had that perfect body.....want to talk about a kick start to insecurities. Have someone tell you how much they love you....BUT. I created my own insecurities based on that alone. Was I not pretty enough? Was I too fat? Was it the weight i gained with the pregancy? Why wasn't I good enough? What did I need to do to get him back? Truth be told, thinking of what I put myself through at that time in my life makes me tear up now. Like bigdawg said what's important is how you feel on the inside? I was never ugly...well, that's a lie...you should've seen me in the braces and coke bottle glasses days....but we create our own insecurities based on what we think we should be....and perhaps are not. Someone else said in the thread...reasons for insecurities differ from person to person.

I've lost ALOT of weight since Jan this year. Really transformed my entire body, but where i've argued with a few friends of mine, to get our body where we want it...takes SERIOUS time and dedication before we start seeing changes. Same with self image....it's not like *POOF* "omg, look at me, i've lost all this weight, i love me, i'm the best me I can be, oh i'm so hot, whoo hoo"...self image also takes time to change. FOR ME, I cant say I'll ever have the confidence that i WANT. 37lbs heavier/lighter....I am still humble and know where I came from. I think if everyone had an appreciation for where people are...where they came from...and just accepted them for who they really are....we'd see a rapid increase of confidence and security in the world. I'm with pintoca on this one....i think i'm more self critical now than i was before i began all this.

As for the attention aspect you all touched on....I don't think people get attention just because of their looks/weight/bod. Take EF for example, if we all look in perspective....why do you really like the people you like? Sure, we can all post pics...clothed, not clothed, flexing or not...but we've really identified with personalities, substance, wit, intellect (or lack thereof ) and is why we like who we do/dont like. I really appreciate all the compliments I get on here....but i can't rely on the EFers of america to keep my confidence high. Getting compliments..regardless of who they are from....makes ANYONE feel good. One thing I noticed about EF is that even when I posted up my heavier pics...all the gals and guys complimented me. People feed off of substance. Whether you're hot or not, skinny or fat, that's the one thing they see the most. What you are REALLY all about.

I think the biggest lie many people (not everyone) live in is "i dont care what anyone thinks about me...this is me, screw you if you dont like it". I say, do what makes you happy, make goals for yourself that are attainable, if losing weight makes you feel better about yourself, dont let anyone hinder that.

For some jacked up reason: Negative comments are always easier to believe than the positive. You can receive 1500 awesome compliments/comments in a day and have one person follow up with something negative/ugly and it void out all the other. Weird how we humans operate.

I am going to charge you one karma per word per post after reading this one!
Long!
I agree though...

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

With the fat I've lost and the muscle I've put on, my self esteem is always in the shitter.

 

[Lestat]

I think they are always going to be a certain way because they grew up fat and were treated a cerain way. You can never completely undo that, however its not always a negative. Most people hate stuck up bitches that were beautiful and knew it their entire life.