Actions and choices are personal, no one, unless by force, does not choose their actions. Actions don't "just happen", they are concepts of volition. That being said, you cannot find anywhere in my posts the absolution of her actions. She chose them and she saw them to completion. I can almost guarantee, Spectre's wife has told him, she doesn't know how it happened, it just happened. She will rationalize her actions to ease the pain that she has inflicted on her family and herself. But this guilt is good, if she uses it to guide her future actions, to understand that nothing "good" came from these actions.
My discussion is that of the idea of marriage, and does it hold personal value. If it has no personal value, if a spouse is not worth forgiveness for transgressions, then by all means divorce away, but then why be married? If the idea of marriage is important, then does it not acknowledge the idea of repair, when it fails? If you want to win a war, do you surrender with the first casualty? No. Because the goal is what you desire. Will you become happy through divorce? Will you have learned something valuable about marriage by the act of dissolving it, or is the idea of retreat superior to effort? If one does forgive and is again deceived, then no one, but most importantly you, can say that you did not try. But you cannot know if it can be fixed, if you don't try, and to try is to understand the ideas of the goal. What is the goal of marriage? Isn't it personal happiness? If it is happiness, then how will the divorce of one and the remarriage to another obtain happiness if the first marriage could not? People can't give you happiness, it is derived from individual action. If you don't assess your actions and the situations, then you are most likely to fail again. What will you do with a second marriage, different, that you could not do with the first? Pick a "better" spouse? How do you discern this? If you are simply getting married and "hoping" that it will work, then it will fail, because you have failed before you started. Do you go to the gym with the "hopes" that you will get bigger and stronger? If you fail in these "hopes" do you go to another gym, in the pursuit of your hopes?
His wife made the choice of infidelity, and with it created a nightmare for themselves, but she also made the choice to remain married to him, to not leave for the other person. This has significance. Her personal pleasure, whatever she derived from this person, was not strong enough to pull her from what Spectre has provided her and what she has invested into her marriage. From what has been written, she is not demanding a divorce, but the request of atonement and forgiveness. Isn't the idea of husband/father that of the pillar of the family, the steadfast person for support and guidance in times of despair? These are the times of despair, now act, don't react. Emotions are temporary, with no actions directed towards them, they dissipate. The hate and anger will subside if allowed and happiness can be restored if the two come together and work toward this goal. The memories of the events, will never leave, but they are reminders of that which did not produce happiness, only pain.
Spectre is walking a path that I have already walked. I do not envy him.
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