I need help (relationship question)

[Advaik]

There's this girl that I've really liked for 4+ years and I asked her out about 2 years ago, but she blew me off. Now two years later I got the guts to start talking to her again. I've been talking to her everyday on the internet, and found out she is currently not really seeing anyone. I'm kind of a shy guy, but I'm not a loser. I didn't look too good 2 years ago (kind of fat, tons of acne, and looked horrible), but I've been working out and I get alot of compliments on my looks now.

Now I am attracted to her more than ever. I don't know how she feels about me, and I don't want to come out and ask.

My question is how do I let her know I like her? I've dropped a ton of hints, but I don't think she knows.

Another thing is, I really want to be with her. Should I try to be friends with her and build a relationship from that or should I just try to go out with her?

 

[danielson]

girls will probably say try and be friendly to her

id say act slightly aloof, be friendly towards her but not overly so, dont try and smother her with too many comments about how good she looks etc because in female brains this means your a loser, and then just ask her out and take it from there

then again what do i know

 

[alphaxi]

Just tell her how you feel...if you dont at least tell her...then you will never know what could come of it and you will be asking yourself "what if questions"

Good luck!

BTW--Danielson...good advice! Sounds like you DO know something...hehe...j/k

 

[Advaik]

don't be overly nice? Arg I tell her she looks great almost everyday. I don't just come out and say it, she always says something bad about herself them I say the exact opposite. I thought that is what I was supposed to do?

 

[danielson]

don't be overly nice? Arg I tell her she looks great almost everyday. I don't just come out and say it, she always says something bad about herself them I say the exact opposite. I thought that is what I was supposed to do?

yup, so did i. i still do. im not going to anymore though, or a least not all the time. if shes a nice girl she'll realise that constructive criticism IF put across nicely is a good thing

but never say she's fat. thats a golden rule. never insinuate she could lose a few pounds etc i guess you know that though.


just compliment her when she deserves it but not too much, ya know what i mean.



(btw thanks alphaxi if only i could remember to take my own advice every once in a while )

 

[PHATchik]

I struggled with this same issue. There is a guy that I have had feelings for off and on for two years. I just couldn't get over him. It came out once that I had feelings for him. Long story on how that happened. But anyway, unforunately, he was involved with someone at the time. So yes, we had serious bad timing. He's single now. But do I intend to make a move? No. He and I are really close friends. Sometimes, I think that's all I want and should ever have wanted. I still have flickerings of those feelings pop up. Who knows what lays in store for any of us? I kinda wonder if maybe there's a reason I can't get over this guy. Who knows? Right now, I am content with simply being his friend. it works for me and makes me happy. Do what your heart tells you. That is the most important advice I can give you.

 

[alphaxi]

don't be overly nice? Arg I tell her she looks great almost everyday. I don't just come out and say it, she always says something bad about herself them I say the exact opposite. I thought that is what I was supposed to do?

Dont be OVERLY nice...to the point where you may get on her nerves...LOL...but sure, give her a compliment here and there...but like Danielson said..dont overdo it!

But like I said before, just tell her how you feel. If its meant to be between the two of you it will happen...just be patient!!

 

[Advaik]

What if I tell her how I feel but she is not even slightly interested in me? Shouldn't I try to build a relationship with her first? I want to tell her how I feel but I am just afraid she will blow me off again. At the very least I want to be friends with her, but if I come out and tell her how I feel it might scare her off. Arg I am so confused!

 

[alphaxi]

Hmmm...well....I guess my only advice would be BE PATIENT! I know that its easier said than done..but just remain friendly toward her and hopefully she will see what a great person you are and want to be more than friends...

Honestly though...if you DO decide to tell her how you feel and she blows you off...then that just gives you reason to find the right girl who is out there for you.

 

[Advaik]

Thanks for the info guys. I think I will tell her, I mean I really like her and even if she does blow me off, I guess I really c ouldn't handle her being "just a friend" anyways.

But how do I tell her? Do I just come out or build up to it or what? Gaw this seems so easy but it's so hard!

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Kick her in the face.

 

[Crazier]

Kick her in the face.

I was thinking he should throw a cum ballon at her... but I guess that'd work as well.
--

 

[Pebcak]

One piece of advise from "The Tao of Steve".

"We pursue that which retreats from us".

Sounds to me like you guys already have a pretty good relationship, not sure if your in school together or what. You should take some time and get a little spearation from her. Now I'm not saying to go out of your way to ignore her, that would just be rude. But make an effort to not be around at those times she expects you to be there (for like a week or so). If she has "feelings" for you then most likely she'll wonder where you are, and maybe even miss you.

After above time period has passed, you should (maybe) be able to gauge her feelings from her reaction to your "return". If she says "Oh, I missed, what have you been doing, etc" Then I say tell her. If she says "You were gone? Oh, that's right, I forgot". Then I say don't do it. Train wreck waiting to happen.

Again these are just my opinions, I could be totally off base.

Pebcak

 

[Taps]

Lemmie tell you tell you something, bro. I saw this girl today, who I havn't seen in about 5 years. I kinda liked her way back when but I didn't have had the balls to do anything about it. Anyway, I saw her today near where I work, and I went right up to her, said hello, told her she looked incredible, and now I've got a date with her on Saturday. I'm so friggin jazzed about it -- I feel like a million bucks.

Anyway, You should tell her you like her and find her attractive. But also tell her you'd like to be her friend. It's ok if you lie about that part, she doesn't need to be aware of your ulterior motives.

THE WORST THING SHE CAN SAY IS "NO". And even then, that doesn't mean "never."

 

[PHATchik]

Good for you Taps.

 

[Taps]

I can think of a few people (ahem) who should follow my example.

I'm going to bed now....before I get into trouble.

 

[Austin316]

I can think of a few people (ahem) who should follow my example.

I'm going to bed now....before I get into trouble.

Ohh you shut up now

 

[PHATchik]

I'm going to bed now....before I get into trouble.

Excellent idea Taps....dear.

 

[Advaik]

Lemmie tell you tell you something, bro. I saw this girl today, who I havn't seen in about 5 years. I kinda liked her way back when but I didn't have had the balls to do anything about it. Anyway, I saw her today near where I work, and I went right up to her, said hello, told her she looked incredible, and now I've got a date with her on Saturday. I'm so friggin jazzed about it -- I feel like a million bucks.

Anyway, You should tell her you like her and find her attractive. But also tell her you'd like to be her friend. It's ok if you lie about that part, she doesn't need to be aware of your ulterior motives.

THE WORST THING SHE CAN SAY IS "NO". And even then, that doesn't mean "never."

What exactly do you mean by ulterior motives? If you are implying that I want to get in bed with this girl, then you've missed the point.

I don't like this girl because she is attractive or because I want to fuck her, it's something alot deeper than that. Whenever she is around she always makes me smile. She has this great personality which I just love about her, it's like I'm hooked on everything she says.

You know how they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Well I know there are alot prettier girls than her, but for some reason she looks better than any girl I've ever seen, even better than a super model. It's hard to explain, but by no means is my attraction to her sexual.

 

[Advaik]

*update

Well I told her... I don't know how it turned out. She said that she didnt see why I liked her so much and they she was just an ordinary girl like everyone else. I take this as a bad sign ? She had to go to work right after. I guess I'll talk with her again tonight or tomorrow...

 

[Latimer]

Take her by the hand and do it in the butt.