I`m sending my child to DayCare. Am I "giving up?"

[gonelifting]

She`s 2 years old and I`ve been taking care of her since birth. She has learned a lot at home and is a great kid, but has no contact with other kids at all. We really want her to have "friends" and associate/interact with others.

I feel like I`m letting her down in a way. I`ve NEVER been apart from her really. I must admit I`m looking forward to the free time I`ll have to do work around the house and projects I keep putting off because I HAVE ZERO TIME right now while watching her.

I think/hope the benefits outway the negatives with sending her away. I was always proud of the fact she stayed home with one of us and now we`re doing what everyone else is doing.

Any thoughts? Serious replies please, So anybody who`s name starts with an R,B,S,T,O,J,M,L,F,G,W,N or C, please don`t respond. Thanks

 

[jestros]

My name starts with a J, but doesnt end with an -erkbox so I'll respond.
My daughter went to daycare when she was three. I wasnt really happy about sending her, but people gotta work. However the place was great, and she got friends, which was good.
The main thing I'd say, is CHECK THE PLACE OUT!!! Scarey things happen these days.
Also I've heard people recomend not sending your kid to daycare till they can talk, so they can let you know if anything bad happens.
Good luck, raising kids can be freakin scarey huh?

 

[Smurfy]

Are you sending your daughter to a home daycare or a daycare facility? My son has been in daycare facility/nursery school since 3.5 months old cuz I have to work. He has adjusted quite well. I felt more comfortable with the facility setting as there is more staff/monitoring of whats going on, rather than just up in some lady's house. But either way, as long asyou are comfortable with the childcare setting, then I believe your daughter will benefit from the social interaction that kids her age need so very much.

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

If you want to expose her to other children to help her further her social development you could look into part-time childcare. Some centers offer part-time childcare programs for families who are able to stay home with their child but, like you, feel they are robbing their child from certain experiences.

Also, do you want a daycare or a preschool? Daycares are just as the name sounds. Their primary focus is childminding, plain and simple. A lot of times their ratios do not meet state requirements. (You may find a 16 yr old. alone in a room "caring" for 25 2 yr olds.) Not good at all. Preschools usually following D.A.P. (Developmentally Appropiate Practices). But don't be fooled there are obviously good preschools and bad ones as well. Look up your state child to caregiver ratios for 2 yr olds. Most states' ratios are 11:2 but it can vary. If you have friends who have children in childcare ask them about their centers. Go in during peak hours and watch how things are done. (Peak hours are 7-9 am, lunchtime, and 4-6pm). This will give you an idea of the flow, parent-teacher interaction, etc. Ask the center director tons of questions. Ask if they require their staff to have any type of certification to work with children. (Most common certificates are CDA, and A.A. in Childcare). Ask if they require their staff to take any state required training. (Your state should require approx. 8 hrs of training a yr. for any childcare worker.) If so, how many hours must they take? Are they all current with their required certification. Are they CPR and First Aid trained? Can your child bring his or her own food or is food provided? Do they have an open door policy? Meet your child's prospective teacher, visit the actual classroom your child will be in. You may also want to go to your state's Department of Children and Families office to see if they have had any complaints, fines, and to check each and every one of their compliance reports to see if they do meet state requirements in all areas from safety to staff training.

If your child has never been away from you, he or she may go through seperation anxiety. He or she may cry the first day or even the first week. Be assured that after mommy and daddy leave your child may cry for a few more mins. but after awhile they will be okay.

Good luck!

 

[Werd]

I was a stay-at-home mom till my youngest was 3 (7 years full time mom). Then I only worked VERY parttime and left her with my sister (her oldest is 4 months younger than my youngest).

I never left my children with paid help until the oldest was 5+, could tell me if something was amiss, knew the difference between "good touch" and "bad touch" and could tell me if something wasn't right with her younger siblings. And even then, the kids were only left for a few hours while we attended a family affair.

Yes, I was a bit paranoid, but the way I looked at it - those were my kids. I brought them here and there was no way in hell (unless I HAD TO - which many people do) I was going to relinquish THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT I WILL EVER DO (parent my young precious children) - TO A PAID STRANGER.

If you don't HAVE to, DON'T.

If you want some time away, just enroll your child in a school for say 2 days p/week... couple hours p/day.

Not passing judgement on those that chose this route either out of need or just preference.

I am only stating what was right for me.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

sorry yu have to do this, yes you are giving up, but you may have no choice right now, understandable.e the best parent you can with the time you do have,

continue to be the best parent ou can with the time you do have and everything will work out.

 

[gonelifting]

We looked into a couple of places. We also looked into a school/academy which was GREAT, but it was out of our financial reach. The Daycare place we`re set on (have`nt fully decided) is in a church, they rent it from the church on the first and second floor. Up to 2 year olds are on the first fl, and the older kids are on the second fl. They allow 6 kids per adult. The place has been there for 22 years and is very close to my house <1 mile away. Nice quiet residential street.

When we went to initially see the place my daughter`s eyes lit up because of all the toys and Animations on the walls and ceilings (of course she has toys at home). She was so happy, which made us happy to see. The price is about $170 or $180/week plus "registration" etc. etc. , which I thought was a little high. Other places charge $150 but we liked this one better. We`ll probably start her with 3/days /week and see how things go. She really needs to be with other kids and I really need to get work done around here. Thanks for the replies.

If my mind was`nt always racing I could still take care of her at home, but I`m constantly feeling helpless/worthless/inefficient when I`m home doing NOTHING but watching and caring for her. "The satisfaction of having her excell in everything should be enough" is not enough for me, I have to do other CONCRETE things. I wish I could switch places with my wife and have her stay home but we definately could`nt afford that.

Enough rambling. thanks again btw your initials were all on the "do not reply" list. Shame on you.

 

[Werd]

If my mind was`nt always racing I could still take care of her at home, but I`m constantly feeling helpless/worthless/inefficient when I`m home doing NOTHING but watching and caring for her. "The satisfaction of having her excell in everything should be enough" is not enough for me, I have to do other CONCRETE things. I wish I could switch places with my wife and have her stay home but we definately could`nt afford that.

The feelings you described are not gender specific. Meaning, if your wife was the one who was home - SHE WOULD FEEL THE SAME.

Welcome to the world of the unappreciated stay-at-home parent.

All that matters is what works for you and your family.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

The price is about $170 or $180/week plus "registration" etc. etc. ,

That's pretty reasonable orb.

 

[gonelifting]

sorry yu have to do this, yes you are giving up, but you may have no choice right now, understandable.e the best parent you can with the time you do have,

continue to be the best parent ou can with the time you do have and everything will work out.

I don`t "have to" do it really. We just think it`s time for a change for all of us. If I TRULY felt it was a bad idea, then I would NOT send her. We had a in-home baby sitter part time a few days a week. I was very happy with that because I was still in view of things while roaming around the house and working at home. That did`nt work out because the babysitter had an affair with my neighbor and ruined his 7 year relationship. lol Long story, thought I`d throw it in there.lol Yes she was a hot young college student.

I just feel like I`m standing still from when I wake up until I go to bed. I`m so unproductive! The little time I do have when the wife comes home I try and workout or do some other stuff. But I`m so fried that nothing`s done right.

If it were ONLY raising her, I would do a great job and I have been. But I want more production out of myself. That means I`m giving up? I have no idea really, this is my first time. I`ve done it for 2+ years so far and she`s so smart for her age.

still rambling...lol