I just got Jury Duty, How do I get out of it?

[Rockafella Skank]

Be proud and fulfill a public duty. Tell your professors that you have been called for jury duty and that you want to serve. They'll understand.

 

[Warik]

Ask yourself this question. If you were on trial for something you did not do, the victim of over zealous prosecutors or for a mistake that you made, wouldn't you want the people seated on your jury to be the most intelligent people they could get?

I'd want the people seated on the jury to be:

a) People who know the law.
b) People who want to be there.

The average citizen does NOT meet this criteria. The average citizen doesn't know first degree murder from involuntary manslaughter and truly would rather be somewhere else.

Coincidentally, the most intelligent people are the morons who couldn't devise a way to escape jury duty.

-Warik

 

[katz]

Ok, everybody is getting bent out of shape. If you get picked hopefully it will be an interesting high-profile case. I remember testifying at a murder trial. The dirty bastard blugened an 85 year old man. i FOUND THE MAN. I looked at the jury and described his labored breathing.. his swollen eyes how bloody he was. THe jury was spellbound. Of course I was gasping like the old man was. I was also very pregnant.
Anyway the dirtybastard is on death-row. FUCK HIM!

 

[katz]

Oh I didn't mention that the poor old man died the next day after he was assaulted.

 

[Tha One CrumCake]

Fuck the laws, One of my ultimate goals is to be a Individualanti , and Kill bad people. Kinda like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable or Tom Hanks in Big.

 

[the nature boy]

I guess if you have school then find a way out.

But for anyone else I think it's a civic duty to attend jury duty. It's very chic to be patriotic but when it comes to a duty required of all citizens of jury duty people sure as hell lose that feeling of what it is to be american.

 

[dimitrios]

Masturbate in your hand and fling it on the judge

 

[Warik]

Fuck the laws, One of my ultimate goals is to be a Individualanti , and Kill bad people. Kinda like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable or Tom Hanks in Big.

Or Charles Bronson in all of the "Death Wish" movies. Rent them. Awesome movies.

My favorite is the one when he takes out this big gang in some part of NY... I think it was part II or III.

-Warik

 

[manny78]

The easiest way its to look like a damn fuckin dangerous retard. Tell them every guilty fucker should be fried in public. Also make it obvious that you dont believe in the justice system. If by any bad luck you're chosen then sleep during the trial. They will automatically kick you out.

 

[Crazier]

If by any bad luck you're chosen then sleep during the trial. They will automatically kick you out.

Damn... this is a good one!!!

Could you imagine? That'd be hilarious.
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