I just don't know why... I feel hopeless

[needtofit]

Hi everyone,

I have been constantly having problems with my abs, or since I don't have them, belly. I've never ever had abs in my life no matter what I do. I remember when I was a little kid, I was the only child in the class who couldn't even do ONE sit up. I've been trying to do some crunches everyday, but my abs still seem non-existant. Whenever I eat something, I get a beer belly. Whenever I drink something, I get a beer belly. I can't wear any clothes other than hoodies. I'm not even that "fat." Sometimes I even get jealous of people who are "fatter" than me because even they seem to have a belly that doesn't seem pregnant.

Is there any problem with me? How many crunches should I do each day to get at least a non-round belly? I just don't understand. I feel like I will live with my hoodies for my entire life...

 

[Sassy69]

Hi needtofit - welcome to EF!

First of all --- please reprogram your understanding how "getting a six-pack" - the number of sit ups you do has nothing to do w/ getting your abs to "show". It all has to do w/ first the amount of bodyfat you have in that particular area, and second, how well constructed your ab muscles themselves are.

THe primary issue for most people is where they tend to hold their bodyfat - this has NOTHING to do w/ "being fat". I don't see my abs until I am well below 11% bodyfat - that's just me. That doesn't mean I don't have a very strong set of abs and that I'm not lean. That's just me. I tend to hold my bodyfat in that area - that is VERY common for most women because estrogen promotes depositing of a larger concentration of fat cells in certain areas as a protective / survival measure to help protect a fetus and preserve fat as an energy source in case of drought.

Abs are primarily "made in the kitchen" - its all about your diet and getting your overall bodyfat down.

Can you step away from your frustations for a second and give us some infor to help you further -

Your stats - current height, weight, bodyfat%, age.

How long have you been training - not just doing situps but training? What is your typical training schedule?

And most important please lay out what is your diet - what does a typical day's meal plan look like, in detail please e.g.

Meal 1: 8 am
1/2 c oatmeal
1 whole egg + 1 egg white

Meal 2: 11 am
2 oz almonds

Meal 3: 2 pm
4 oz chicken
1/2 c brown rice
etc


Even better - set up an account on a food counts program like www.fitday.com (free, online, easy to set up) - after you enter your meals for the day it will calculate your total calories as well as the macronutrient breakdown - % protein / % fats / % carbs.

Basically not knowing anything about how you eat or what sort of activity level you currently have and what your current stats are sounds like you just tend to hold bodyfat in that area and you need to optimize your diet some to get bump up your fat burn rate tog et the abs to show.

As far as the round belly thing - do you have any food allergies? Do you tend to bloat up - is it gas or water that is making the round belly thing?

Stay focused on identifying specifically the issue and don't fall into this pit of hopelessness - its not all that bad. Its just that your body reflects your lifestyle & what you put in it. If you dont' like how your body is then change what you are doing.

RE: shitloads of crunches - this is overtraining - you can't "spot reduce" and this won't do anything really to get you to a 6-pack. Train your abs just like any other body part - give it 36-48 hrs to recover before training it again. Don't look to piles of ab work to get you the six-pack. Actually if you do mega piles of crunches you may be building up your ab muscles to the point that you actually start to look thick & blocky there. THat probably isnt' the goal you are going after.

 

[que_66]

Welcome to EF!!

Nothing's wrong with you and you aren't defective. You just have bad information about abs. Just like I did. I can't see mine yet but I know they are there and I know what it will take to see them.

You can trust what Sassy's telling you because she knows her stuff and won't steer you wrong.

 

[needtofit]

Hi Sassy and que, thank you for the helpful information.

My activity level is very low. I am a student, but I do not play any sports. I drive to school and drive back to my house. Once in a while I feel like working out and step on the tredmill for a week or so. I've been doing crunches on the fitness ball on and off for about a month now. Each day I do about 50 straight, 20 to the left, and 20 to the right.

My weight currently is about 117.6 lb at night and around 115-116 in the morning. Body fat is about 21%. I'm 18, and I have an extremely weak ab. (Just tried to do a crunch on the floor and couldn't even sit up without using my legs to add momentum.)

For the past month, I have been pretty eating pretty healthy. Although before I would come home from school and grap whatever I can eat for snack(s) and then eat another big dinner.

My meals have been pretty much like:
Breakfast:
A sandwich with 5 slices of thin ham (all low calories)

Lunch:
A sandwich with 5 slices of thin ham
an apple/ a banana

Snack:
6 oz/ 8 oz yogurt (and maybe some other food if I can't stop eating)

Dinner: (biggest meal)
2 cups of rice and a lot of stir fries (my family is Asian)

I don't think I have any food alergy... I'm not sure whether it's gas or water thats making the round belly. It's just everytime I eat something, there seem to be no muscle to hold back my belly.

Do people who have "flat abs" (as in people who don't have a round belly) work out everyday? Both my mother and father never work out, but they both never get bloated bellies... I think I also need help setting a healthy standard for myself.


Thanks!

 

[Sassy69]

After which meal do you bloat up the most? And have you always done that?

Generally speaking you have an extremely high carb diet going here with not a lot of healthy fats & minimal good quality protein.

The easy answer to your bodyfat issue is that your diet is the problem. I'm not saying it makes you a bad person or anything - I'm just saying that's you and how your body responds to your lifestyle. Me personally - I can't eat a pile of rice like that w/o bloating up. You may be carb sensitive or whatever - but I'd really say clean up your diet, increase the amount of good quality protein, add in some good fats - I don't know how much fat you get from the stirfry - but consider adding in some almonds in mid-morning or mid-afternoon or 1-2 tbsp natural peanut butter before you go to bed - not a shitload of PB - just 1-2 tbsp - its a good fat source but it can become really easy to turn into a "snack" where you eat half the jar in a sitting.

Which meals do you have control of - i.e. you don't have to eat what your family is eating? The dinner meal see if you can add in more protein & veggies & cut back on the rice to say 1/2 c. Break your meals into 5-6 smaller ones over the course of the day - like:

Meal 1:
1/2 c oatmeal or even 1/2 grapefruit
3 egg whites

Meal 2:
15 almonds

Meal 3:
4 oz chicken + 2 cups of veggies

Meal 4:
15 almonds

Meal 5: (your dinner w/ family)
1/2 c rice
2 c veggies
4 oz chicken or some other protein - not deep fried - lightly stir fried and not covered in sauce or something

MEal 6: if still hungry at night
1 tbsp natural peanut butter



That load of rice at night might be the source of your bloat. But generally it sounds like you are eating a pile of carbs (which is what your body likes to use first for quick energy) but you aren't actually using your body for any activity to burn up that energy source. So all it knows how to do is store it as bodyfat. Further your metabolism has probably become accustomed to your food intake & lifestyle - so it runs but not efficiently - i.e you aren't going to burn bodyfat w/ this lifestyle & diet.

I don't know what is the difference w/ your parents or other people and I'd actually suggest that you not compare yourself to other people because everyone is slightly different so you can't make assumptions about how you think other people's bodies "are" and then feel bad about yoruself because yours "isn't". Its your body -it runs a certain way that is unique to you - so its partially up to you to discover how it best operates.

I would definitley suggest getting more activity - that will help you deal w/ the stresses of school and the sitting lifestyle. I know all about that - I was a computer science major in college and regularly spent 22 hrs in front of a computer all day, every day. So just to let you know - we've all been there and we've all figured out ways to get more activity and change our eating habits to achieve what we want.

For you, do you have access to a gym or any classes through your school? An aerobics class? Pilates? Yoga? Those are fantastic for buildign up core strength - that is what you are talking about when you talk about being able to do a sit up- its the strength that is in your torso, your lower back, your connection across your glutes to your legs, your shoulders / upper body, back, chest, delts. If you get a good basic program going that will help you with everything - not just the ab stuff.

And then make a couple changes to your diet and you should see probably 5-10 lb of water weight drop off within 3 weeks. Basically your body is conditioned to eat a lot of those simple carbs and it just doens't run very efficiently. IF you cut back on some of it, increase your protein intake and a few extra good quality fats you are good to go!

I know it can be very confusing about how it all works - esp when you see other people who have these attributes like flat stomachs and all that. Just don't look at them and then feel bad about yourself - its a self-defeating exercise. Instead learn the basics of nutrition & training, understand how your body works and then make a few changes to your lifestyle to move towards your goals. You will feel soo much better in general and then when you start to see changes in your strength & your physique you will feel SOOO much more in control and much more confident in what you are doing.

I'd suggest that you read the stickies at the top of the board :

Are you new to EF Ladies Board - START HERE: http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=388278

TOP THREADS - MUST READ!:http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=363631

All sorts of good info in there.

I also recommend Bill Philips' BODY FOR LIFE book as an intro to how it all works. You can maybe check it out of your school library or find it at a book store anywhere. You don't need to get the version of it for women. The point is that the information and the diet program / training program are very good, very flexible and it describes how nutrition works. That will help dispell a lot of the diet confusion you probably have about how to diet and what you "should" have to do to get this body you are "supposed to" have.

And PLEASE feel free to ask questions here! This board is ALL about support and information so you can achieve what you want for yourself!

 

[que_66]

Knowledge is power. The stickies are a great source of info, I still go back and re-read them and I'm still learning how my body works.

You can do it.

 

[badgergrl]

Hey Needtofit!!!
Welcome to EF!

 

[RottenWillow]

Body fat is about 21%. I'm 18, and I have an extremely weak ab.

That's not fat at all, hermana. In fact that's probably below average. You just have atypical fat storage for a woman--you put more on the abdomen than buttocks, hips and thighs.

 

[ck2006]

needto, great information here, listen to sassy and everybody else.

At your age I was exactly the same. A great weight but never comfortable about the middle section. My friend would be like WTF, but I understand.

A big thing too is posture. Make sure you are sitting up straight and shoulders back, that also makes a world of difference.

Also given your time schedule, if your school has stairs take them and make them a challenge, park far away from school and walk. Little things like that will make a huge difference.

NEVER had abs until last year and I am 32 now with 4 kids soooo it is attainable, but with the right knowledge. and unfortunately I didn't get mine until last year but like I said listen to the girls they ROCK and know their stuff!

 

[Sassy69]

If you don't have access to a gym or something, you can do lots of core strength stuff w/ a fit ball and a video tape or directions for your own exercises. Also pilates / yoga videos.

 

[needtofit]

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your helpful input anf encouragement. I feel like I already feel much better now.

I think I definitely bloat the most after dinner, which is the meal I eat the most at. I will try to add some healthy proteins and fat. Before today, I thought fat was totally bad for me and just tried to eat carbs and vegetables. (and red meat since that's what my family usually eats...)

Now I think about it, I definitely have some pretty bad gestures... lying on the table; holding my face with one hand, putting my leg on the chair, etc.

My metabolism is very weird. If I don't do any activities, my metabolism is veeeryy slow. One thing I worry about is getting thicker thighs because of jogging... I want to love weight, but I'm kind of scared of getting thick thighs if I do it everyday... Also, how can I keep myself from being bored while exercising? I have a tredmill at home, but I can't do anything (watch TV, etc.) while running because of the loud noise from the machine.

Also, how do I know if I need to lose weight or it's time to maintain my weight? I think partly because I'm so used to eating about in the past 6 or so years (I had unlimited food everyday after school,) I don't know how much food is "enough." I also seem to have a very drastic change in shape (which I think is good in some ways since it makes me look skinnier) once I go under 110. I'd loved to maintain my weight at that level, but I've failed several times... (wore pretty clothes for maybe a week and then rebounce.) how should I maintain a healthy weight and body shape?

 

[ck2006]

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your helpful input anf encouragement. I feel like I already feel much better now.

I think I definitely bloat the most after dinner, which is the meal I eat the most at. I will try to add some healthy proteins and fat. Before today, I thought fat was totally bad for me and just tried to eat carbs and vegetables. (and red meat since that's what my family usually eats...)

Now I think about it, I definitely have some pretty bad gestures... lying on the table; holding my face with one hand, putting my leg on the chair, etc.

My metabolism is very weird. If I don't do any activities, my metabolism is veeeryy slow. One thing I worry about is getting thicker thighs because of jogging... I want to love weight, but I'm kind of scared of getting thick thighs if I do it everyday... Also, how can I keep myself from being bored while exercising? I have a tredmill at home, but I can't do anything (watch TV, etc.) while running because of the loud noise from the machine.

Also, how do I know if I need to lose weight or it's time to maintain my weight? I think partly because I'm so used to eating about in the past 6 or so years (I had unlimited food everyday after school,) I don't know how much food is "enough." I also seem to have a very drastic change in shape (which I think is good in some ways since it makes me look skinnier) once I go under 110. I'd loved to maintain my weight at that level, but I've failed several times... (wore pretty clothes for maybe a week and then rebounce.) how should I maintain a healthy weight and body shape?

My thighs never went thicker running and doing weights at first, in fact I lost 4 inches, and the only reason I say at first is because I was on a specific program after to get them bigger.

 

[Sassy69]

First - DO NOT be scared of change in response to exercise. Think about how people look who do various types of activities in the extreme - if you do LOTS of jogging - what do endurance athletes look like - skinny! But they also actually have a surprisingly high bodyfat - not because they are fat but rather they don't have much muscle. Now think about what a sprinter looks like - lean but muscled legs. Not overly developed but beautiful lean definition.

So that gives you an idea of some other things to do besides "jog" - do intervals on your treadmill - e.g. 3-5 min warm up then sprint for 30 sec, then jog / "recover" for 60 sec, then sprint again and repeat the cycle 8-10 times and then a 3-5 min cool down. The total may end up being 20-30 min and you really don't have time to worry about watching tv or something. That approach to cardio will really kick your butt!

Another thing you can do is set the angle on the treadmill really steep w/ slow speed and do walkign lunges.

Usually if you start to "get big" from training it means you need to adjust your diet. You need to have some protein & carbs to provide you energy & stuff to build muscle with - but if you see that you're getting "thicker" then recheck your diet. Muscle can be the most beautiful thing on a lean body. Skinny / no muscle because you don't want to "get big" is just annoyign in my opinion (but that's just me). And finally you don't need to worry about "getting big" like a guy from lifting because a female body simply does not create enough natural testosterone to grow mass like that so don't be scared of it. You can make all sorts of changes in your body by training & dieting for your goals.

Some good guidelines for a diet are:

* Eat 10-12 x your body weight = total calories. Lean towards the higher number if you need to build some muscle mass.

* Break your meals into 5-6 small meals every 2-3 hrs over the course of the day. I try to keep a protein serving in each meal.

* A good baseline ratio of macronutrients is 40% protein /30% carbs / 30% fats.

I recommended the BODY FOR LIFE book earlier - this is a fantastic book that presents a very flexible diet program that meets very close to the above but helps explain how your body uses those nutrients and why you would do the recommended 5-6 meals, etc. You don't need to buy the EAS products but the point is that the book is a fantastic intro to how nutrition works and frankly, if you can get your mind around how it works (and get rid of all these myths & misconceptions that people have - like don't eat fats because they make you fat --- that is completely wrong!!!!!). Then you can get to the part of nutrition where you know how to tweak & adjust your diet for the goals you want instead of feeling completely confused and lost.

Also use a food counts program like www.fitday.com to build your meal plans and see what you are REALLY eatign as far as total calories and % protein / fat / carb.

 

[needtofit]

Thank you again for the great information! I will look for the Body for Life book in my local library or bookstore!

Another question I have is that whenver I exercise (for a week or so) I get really tired in the morning. For some reason, I just can't wake up. (Im usually not that good at waking up either, but whenever I exercise, I feel like I can't make my eyes open in the morning to wake up. This has also been a reason I couldn't keep up exercising...) Is this because I often run/jog at night? (9-10 pm)

 

[Sassy69]

How early do you wake up? I.e. do you get a full night sleep and is it good quality sleep?

Another thought I have is that you are 18 - from some of the stuff I've heard, your body has different sleep demands at different phases of life and the teenage years happened to be one when all you want to do is sleep in. Are you always tired even regardless of exercising the night before? I sleep pretty good and I usually train between 8-9 pm if not later.

 

[al420]

I love this part of EF - it's like getting e-hugs all post long. You are a special group of ladies - keep it up!

 

[needtofit]

I sleep at around 12 and wake up at 7. If I don't exercise, it take me probably around 5 minutes to wake up in the morning. If I exercise, it often takes me longer. I feel like I'm still "in dream." It feels like all my muscles are really tired and I JUst fell asleep or something...

 

[Sassy69]

Maybe that just means your body is responding to the physical exertion by putting you into a deeper sleep. I wouldn't consider that a bad thing. It does give you an idea of the importance of one of the factors that isn't so apparent but is so critical to "getting fit" -- recovery time. Some people think that just training all the time is how you get "fit", when really its a balance between diet, training/cardio and recovery time. Your body loves to get the exertion but as you're seeing, it also needs to the time to recover and prepare for the next round. If you do nothing (sedentary lifestyle) then your body really doesn't have those stimulations to respond in any way except sluggishly. Personally I think that also translates to poor quality sleep as well. It is a bit of conditioning to get past the 'really sore muscles' feeling but its such an amazingly good feeling - sort of reminds me that I'm still alive and all the parts still work!

 

[needtofit]

I see... that makes me less worried!

I have another question... it just happened yesterday afternoon and this morning, but I felt like I had low blood sugar. So what I did was I ate my lunch before lunch time and THen, bought another lunch (more fat and sauce) from the cafeteria because I still didn't feel full. Now I realize that I have eaten more calories than I should... How should I break this cycle? Should I eat more in the morning? (usually I eat one sandwich in the morning, and one sandwich and a fruit for lunch.)

Also, generally how much should I eat during lunch/snack to prevent low blood sugar and feeling like I am going to "sink down"?

 

[cindylou]

hmmm. try and balance your meals so your blood sugar stays STABLE all of the time. And cut out ALL sugar. All forms of it.

Example ; more meals throughout the day with all carbs being complex and mixed with protein to keep you full and blood sugar stable that way it wont drop.

When I'm feeling like that I up my protein to 50% of my cals so
it ends up being 50/30/20 (protein/carbs/fat) lower the carbs a little and keep them complex carbs ; no sugar.

I only do that for a while because thats ALOT of protein anyway to be trying to digest but you could lower it after awhile.

Just a suggestion ; but I've gotten pretty good at keeping mine pretty stable. I'm basically never hungry and can drop my cals pretty low and still feel sane. lol.