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I have never been so lonely before

GoldenDelicious

New member
it has finally dawned on me that i am a really lonely person.

i crave company but constantly feel like the people around me are mentally limited, or carried off in one of life's many currents and are oblivious to what is happening around and to them.

i often wonder how people can go through their lives constantly working, 'staying busy' and endlessly pursuing money and a myriad of other bullshit, living in relationships which are...well shallower than anything i could foresee myself as being a part of

i dont know if im too intelligent to be satisfied with what i can likely get here and now, or if im not intelligent enough to see my way through my life in a way that i find pleasing, or even tolerable

im slipping into depression. i can feel it. and truth be told, i dont want to distract myself with the usual bullshit until i 'get over it', because this hole in my life is always going to be here and i think i want to go through it and see what is on the other side. i think i have overachieved and seen that all the preconceptions drilled into me since childhood are a bunch of bullshit spawned by people more limited than myself to salve the inadequacy of their lives. ive reached what i have been told to aspire to, and the view is....much less than youd think itd be

i dont really know why im posting this. its right that i do it on the net since my admission is so meaningless here in cyberland...how fitting.

im probably going to regret posting this, but fuck it, lets see what it does
 
life sucks... even the women don't need us any longer...

autodil3.jpg
 
I've never found another person to fill ANY voids in my life.

I have close friends and a good family... But... I fill ALL voids in MY life with what makes ME happy. Screw what I'm suppose to do, according to other's "standards". I'm living my life by MY rules and they(family and friends) can enjoy the benefits along the way if they wish!

Being alone ain't so bad at times too. You can connect with yourself- which is even better!

You can search for what you were taught was "perfection" in life, but, you'll come up empty. We make your own happiness in life ANYWAY we can!

Don't depend on other's for your life choices or relationships,
because you're setting yourself up for MORE heartache.
 
i know how you feel....unfortunatley, I really have nothing I can offer in terms of wisdom.....


I too am rarely satisfied, and often disgusted with myself and other people....
 
it is strange you would post something so honest after you made such hateful antisemetic remarks on that recent Israel Wall thread. miserable people make great racists.
 
glennds said:
it is strange you would post something so honest after you made such hateful antisemetic remarks on that recent Israel Wall thread. miserable people make great racists.

Why strange? People are complex and often seemingly contraditory.
 
just so you guys know i didnt post that for opinions/sympathy/advice, since there isnt terribly much anyone can say after reading that. thanks to those that offered it though, its always nice to hear from nice people

now, as for you guys:

glennds said:
it is strange you would post something so honest after you made such hateful antisemetic remarks on that recent Israel Wall thread. miserable people make great racists.

i have been completely honest in both threads. the above comment makes me think that you are quite biased in regards to the israeli/palestinian saga. furthermore my remarks were not antisemetic, although i did neglect to post a disclaimer saying that my remarks were directed at the individual and group israeli perpetrators of many unfair acts towards the palestinians.

also, im not miserable. certain circumstances and lines of thought do depress me from time to time, usually when there is a lot of misery in my surroundings, since i am also prone to empathise as well as sympathise

nor am i racist, although sometimes my remarks fall along racist lines. bigger brains might reason that this is secondary to certain events in the world also falling along racist lines

Originally posted by samoth Originally posted by GoldenDelicious
it has finally dawned on me that i am... not intelligent enough to see my way through my life in a way that i find pleasing, or even tolerable


hmmmmm this comment demands a very big fuck you to samoth

that comment was nasty, needless and unwelcome, especially coming from someone who knows next to nothing about me.

besides if my intelligence was tangible and i hit you over the head with it your skull would crack :) i havnt got a problem with my IQ (or my modesty :) )
 
Is it loneliness, or a lack of control, that you feel?
 
Live in the moment, I'm sure we all have experienced forms of what you speak of, I can relate to your outlook on others, my faith in humanity has been extinguished to something rather sad, sad but in many ways true. Be proud of your accomplishments, let folks that you surround yourself with serve as bad examples, to show you how not to be. peace
 
GoldenDelicious said:

hmmmmm this comment demands a very big fuck you to samoth

that comment was nasty, needless and unwelcome, especially coming from someone who knows next to nothing about me.

besides if my intelligence was tangible and i hit you over the head with it your skull would crack :) i havnt got a problem with my IQ (or my modesty :) )

Check again. You said it. I merely pointed it out... hence the quote of your own words and no words of my own. There is no need to be defensive, it's only the internet. If you are so offended by your own words, I suggest reanalyzing what you are saying.

Further, please notice how I can reply without being rude, taking this defensively, swearing or personally attacking you. I suggest you try to do the same, especially if you are attempting to flex your intellectual prowess.
 
vixenbabe said:
I've never found another person to fill ANY voids in my life.

I have close friends and a good family... But... I fill ALL voids in MY life with what makes ME happy.

If you ever need a few specific voids filled CALL ME!

:friends:
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
Is it loneliness, or a lack of control, that you feel?

lonliness and some sadness that things which are controlled more by random chance havnt worked out better for me. definitely not control.

samoth said:

Check again. You said it. I merely pointed it out... hence the quote of your own words and no words of my own. There is no need to be defensive, it's only the internet. If you are so offended by your own words, I suggest reanalyzing what you are saying.

the way you modified my original sentence implied (to me) that you had formed an opinion about which of the two was most likely, and i took offense to that. It came across to me as condescending and needlessly degrading. If i was wrong in my assumption and you arent just covering up, then i apologise. the internet is full of insensitivity and rudeness, and i suppose i am becoming a little more cutting than i used to be.

samoth said:

Further, please notice how I can reply without being rude, taking this defensively, swearing or personally attacking you. I suggest you try to do the same, especially if you are attempting to flex your intellectual prowess.

please let me start by saying that i am not attempting to flex my intellect in any way, shape or form in this post. the internet is one of the few places i can chill out and be myself because of the anonymity, security, and freedom from social memory. I think that people who feel the need to show their superiority (on and off the internet) are sad, insecure people who really should find something more fulfilling to do. As i said in the above paragraph the abusiveness in my response was retalitory to what i saw as a needlessly harmful comment (at the time).

you say that you can respond without being rude, but if you look at your original post objectively im sure you can see how it could have been seen as a rude comment, whether or not it was intentionally so
 
im feel the same way.

its like 90% of humans are on this tiny scope of reality.
i cant speak my mind to my peers cause they either cant grasp my points or just dont care about anything but there little fears,problems,responsibility

im ALONE

i meet girls but as soon as i take them seriously they let me down.
i am alone and ill die alone

i think manny people with unique outlooks on life weather more intellegent, or creative end up alone surrounded by people.
 
In response,

GoldenDelicious said:
it has finally dawned on me that i am a really lonely person.

...

i dont know if im too intelligent to be satisfied with what i can likely get here and now, or if im not intelligent enough to see my way through my life in a way that i find pleasing, or even tolerable

Here is your original quote, which I modified to omit the middle portion "i am a really lonely person... i dont know if im too intelligent to be satisfied with what i can likely get here and now, or if", thus leaving what I quoted.

Given the premises:
1) "[You are] too intelligent to be satisfied with what [you] can likely get here and now" and
2)"[You are] not intelligent enough to see [your] way through [your] life in a way that [you] find pleasing, or even tolorable"

I choose to quote the latter based upon what I believe is a common human charactaristic. We (including myself) don't think (hence the term 'not intelligent') in terms of what we have in the here and now, and what we are capable of succeeding in. Quite to the contrary, commonly we think about what we don't have, and what we are not capable of (or able to) succeeding in in life.

I intended no offence, rather I wanted to point out the fact that you likely may have isolated your own cause and reason for the disheartenment expressed in your original post.

I realized my original quote may have seemed offensive... that was why when I posted it I hit you with green karma (guess you didn't notice). :D

Thank you for the intelligent reply, that is quite rare on the chat board.
 
Shut-up and Masturbate! If that still does not do the trick put some lipstick and and wig on your hand! If your a fudge packer then just turn your hand around and bang it from the backside and use the lipstick to line the o-ring of your hand!
 
GoldenDelicious said:


lonliness and some sadness that things which are controlled more by random chance havnt worked out better for me. definitely not control.

What would make them "better"?

Since you said "random chance", do you wish you had more control over the events that could bring about what you desire?
 
samoth: cheers mate its ok you didnt have to go to the trouble of writing all that. i appreciate it though. for once im glad i was wrong (hate being wrong lol)

MattTheSkywalker said:


What would make them "better"?

oh you know, little things in life and your surroundings which would have been more to your liking- for me personally its mainly geographical- i live in a smallish, isolated city and would much prefer to live in a larger one closer to others. i have strong family ties though and know they wouldnt leave this place, and so i can either move away and live alone or stay here and live in a place which really isnt to my liking, particularly in terms of the social atmosphere/quality of company. this is one example of many, though is probably one of the most important

MattTheSkywalker said:

Since you said "random chance", do you wish you had more control over the events that could bring about what you desire?

no not terribly. the things i wish were a little different arent the sorts of things anyone could control, and even if they could, by the time you get to a point in your life where you could exert any control then its already too late. some things you can make happen, others have to happen on their own, or they just dont work.
 
I'm a little late on this one, but replying to the original post......(forgive me if I repeat any comments, I skimmed :D)

You cannot be happy with anyone else unless you're happy with yourself first. I have learned a lot this year. You should not have to depend on others to keep you happy because in the end, it is you who knows what will KEEP you happy. Learn to live, learn to love.....love yourself first! Friends are something that come and go, only the important ones are the ones who stay in your life forever. Honestly, how many people do we have in our lives that are here forever? Get to know yourself.....it will take some time, but you'll know when it happens. Shoot, I'm STILL trying to find out exactly who I am, but I know this much so far......I'm pretty damn kewl! Find things to do that make you happy, be creative, be spontaneous. When you least expect it, happiness will hit you smack dab in the head. When you awake from the confusion, the beautiful light that is shining all around you is your newfound aura! :angel:
 
GoldenDelicious said:
it has finally dawned on me that i am a really lonely person.

i crave company but constantly feel like the people around me are mentally limited, or carried off in one of life's many currents and are oblivious to what is happening around and to them.

i often wonder how people can go through their lives constantly working, 'staying busy' and endlessly pursuing money and a myriad of other bullshit, living in relationships which are...well shallower than anything i could foresee myself as being a part of

i dont know if im too intelligent to be satisfied with what i can likely get here and now, or if im not intelligent enough to see my way through my life in a way that i find pleasing, or even tolerable

im slipping into depression. i can feel it. and truth be told, i dont want to distract myself with the usual bullshit until i 'get over it', because this hole in my life is always going to be here and i think i want to go through it and see what is on the other side. i think i have overachieved and seen that all the preconceptions drilled into me since childhood are a bunch of bullshit spawned by people more limited than myself to salve the inadequacy of their lives. ive reached what i have been told to aspire to, and the view is....much less than youd think itd be

i dont really know why im posting this. its right that i do it on the net since my admission is so meaningless here in cyberland...how fitting.

im probably going to regret posting this, but fuck it, lets see what it does
i'm loney too. that makes 2 lonely guys here!:bawling:
 
GD, you are not alone. There are alot of us out here who can relate to exactally what you said bro.
 
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