GoldenDelicious
New member
it has finally dawned on me that i am a really lonely person.
i crave company but constantly feel like the people around me are mentally limited, or carried off in one of life's many currents and are oblivious to what is happening around and to them.
i often wonder how people can go through their lives constantly working, 'staying busy' and endlessly pursuing money and a myriad of other bullshit, living in relationships which are...well shallower than anything i could foresee myself as being a part of
i dont know if im too intelligent to be satisfied with what i can likely get here and now, or if im not intelligent enough to see my way through my life in a way that i find pleasing, or even tolerable
im slipping into depression. i can feel it. and truth be told, i dont want to distract myself with the usual bullshit until i 'get over it', because this hole in my life is always going to be here and i think i want to go through it and see what is on the other side. i think i have overachieved and seen that all the preconceptions drilled into me since childhood are a bunch of bullshit spawned by people more limited than myself to salve the inadequacy of their lives. ive reached what i have been told to aspire to, and the view is....much less than youd think itd be
i dont really know why im posting this. its right that i do it on the net since my admission is so meaningless here in cyberland...how fitting.
im probably going to regret posting this, but fuck it, lets see what it does
i crave company but constantly feel like the people around me are mentally limited, or carried off in one of life's many currents and are oblivious to what is happening around and to them.
i often wonder how people can go through their lives constantly working, 'staying busy' and endlessly pursuing money and a myriad of other bullshit, living in relationships which are...well shallower than anything i could foresee myself as being a part of
i dont know if im too intelligent to be satisfied with what i can likely get here and now, or if im not intelligent enough to see my way through my life in a way that i find pleasing, or even tolerable
im slipping into depression. i can feel it. and truth be told, i dont want to distract myself with the usual bullshit until i 'get over it', because this hole in my life is always going to be here and i think i want to go through it and see what is on the other side. i think i have overachieved and seen that all the preconceptions drilled into me since childhood are a bunch of bullshit spawned by people more limited than myself to salve the inadequacy of their lives. ive reached what i have been told to aspire to, and the view is....much less than youd think itd be
i dont really know why im posting this. its right that i do it on the net since my admission is so meaningless here in cyberland...how fitting.
im probably going to regret posting this, but fuck it, lets see what it does

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