I HATE STRIP CLUBS
My friends and I were in Miami on vacation four years ago for the WMC and out of all the places to go my friends decided they wanted to go to a fucking strip club. I hate strip clubs what's the point of paying a bunch of women to get naked that you can't even touch. I figured I can have my girl get naked and dance for me and I can touch her .As we enter to strip club I noticed this guy in a wheel chair rolling out of the lap dance room sweating like a slave. I'm thinking to myself why the fuck is he rolling out of a lap dance room. I know this fool just didn't go get a lap dance. So me being the bold one I asked him. "Um did you just get a lap dance"? He said yes I sure did the best lap dance in the world. I said "Um what's the point you can't even feel your legs. He said that might be true but with Isis I feel something else. She isn't just a stripper she has special powers you just have to see for yourself. Well all of my boys were sold on her they all lined up to get lap dances from Isis. My buddy Swolle had went first ,he made the mistake of wearing white warm up sweat paints. And anybody that's ever been inside a strip club or any club knows they have florescent lights so you can see everything on your clothes once those lights hit you. Swolle was in the room for about an hour. I heard all of this moaning and it didn't sound like a woman moaning. It sounded like a grown ass man. I'm out side embarrassed yelling "Swolle you better man up in that room you sound like a sperm whale during mating season". When his lap dance was over Swolle walked out of the room sweating. He was walking funny sort of like a cowboy from the wild west , something was on his leg and he was trying to shake it off. I asked him so how was the lap dance? Breathing heavy he said can I borrow fifty dollars I have to go again. Of course me being who I am I said hell no you are not about to waste any more money on some stripper. My other friends were intrigued over Swolle's reaction coming out of the lap dance room. They were asking Swolle what happened man what happened in there. And Swolle said "Look at the back of my pants son". And when the florescent light hit his white sweat pants you saw a bunch of stains on the back of his pants. I said Swolle I know you didn't cum on yourself during the lap dance. And he smiled and said "She was that good son she was that good". That's all my friends needed to hear they all lined up for this lap dance queen. One went in one came out all cumming all had stains on there pants. I'm sitting at the bar shaking my head at these idiots laughing at them I can't believe some women made them cum on themselves. Then one of my boys was like Beachboy you gotta go in there and get a lap dance. I said I am not spending my hard earn money on some women so she could grind on me. Then he said I paid for your lap dance just go inside the room. I said well in that case I'll do it. When I walked inside of the lap dance room there she stood. She was an Amazon she was about 6,2 Brazilian women , she was built like a tank six pack booty so muscular she could pick a cherry up by the stem with her butt cheeks . Long black hair and blue eyes and she had a huge tattoo of a black panther on the side of her rib cage. I had never seen anything like her. Just looking at her made my dick harder then a fifty dollar jaw breaker. She sat me the chair and said you ready for this baby. Like a little kid I said no maa'm I'm scared. She said don't be scared baby I'm gonna take good care of you. She took off her bra and G string and did a front flip on to my legs and SHE WENT TO WORK. All of a sudden I started moaning like a damn sperm whale. One hour went to two hours two hours went to three before you know it. There wasn't spots on the back of my pants I was drenched. You would have thought I peed on myself. I walked out that lap dance room holding my pants in my hand thank God I wore basketball shorts. My boys saw me in my shorts and they fell out laughing. By the time we left the strip club I had spent all of my vacation money. I had know money at all. I spent $1600 dollars in three hours. I don't even know how I spent all that money I blacked out after the first lap dance. My mom had to wire me money. She tricked me damn it. Who am I kidding she was just that good. So anytime I drive past a strip club I get nauseous. I never went back to another strip club after that. Who am I fooling I am addictted now!!
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yeah...I can get mouthy too.
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