i fucking hate my family

[Sub-Zero]

so my moms cousin is here and they left to go shopping so i start masturbating right, who wouldnt, house was empty.

the doorbell rings liek twice but i was going to ignore it because fuck it who cares, right im, im masturbating.


then the door opens like 5 minutes later, and im like fuck put my things away, and i hear someone say "its us"

im like maybe its myb rother but i go check anyway, and my fucking uncle and grandma come over and they have a key???

obvious, right?

so im like "<brothers name>" hes like "no its uncle and grandma" so im like ohhh that was u ringing i thought it was a delivery guy or something u shoulda called me.

im going to go "pee" and finish, without porn, fucking assholes

 

[KillahBee]

They sound just ignant

 

[lilj888]

haha good read

 

[heatherrae]

Oh to have teenage problems again...lol.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Oh to have teenage problems again...lol.

so having near accidental walkinons while self pleasure isnt an issue when you get older?

 

[youngbull]

so having near accidental walkinons while self pleasure isnt an issue when you get older?

When you get older you cant afford to waste any shots by self gratifing Sublime.

 

[youngbull]

so having near accidental walkinons while self pleasure isnt an issue when you get older?

Its kinda like that joke where the sperm think there going out to fertilize a egg and then one sperm says to the other go back go back hes jacking off.

 

[calveless wonder]

you should live in the dorms bro.

missing out on some quality life there (and you'd probably have to masturbate less)

 

[PICK3]

Drop out of college and go to Iraq

 

[gotmilk]

get a girlfriend and quit jerking the pipe.