Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below I am so confused.My boyfriend is about to go to Iraq,again, and he is being strange.I know he has reason to be stressed right now, but what he's doing doesn't make sense.He has been training a lot.He is busy, I understand... but he quit calling me and his mother.I know he loves his mother and he says he loves me, but he has only called us like once every 2 weeks for over a month now. He sent me an email at one point saying he wouldn't call for a while because he needed to deal with some problems he was having but he said he would call,later.I have only talked to him 2 times in 3 weeks since then.He won't tell me what's wrong. I eventually left him a voice mail about us breaking up if he couldn't return my calls.He called back but he said he didn't want things to be over with us, I needed to just relax and wait for him to call, and he said he hasn't been calling me and his Mom because it stresses him out. WTF?!!?? He did this the last time he left.He spent the whole 11 months that he was on ship saying he was sorry for everything he did wrong.Now he's doing it again but says it's for different reasons and I just need to relax.I don't understand.Does anyone else?
I don't understand my man.Does anyone else?
- Thread starter medicj
- Start date
I don't think so but who knows? Even if that was the case, I think he wouldn't stop calling.That would get him busted.And he is CONSTANLY training in a bunch of different states right now.So he wouldn't be able to see anyone long enough to need to stop calling me.And I don't know why that would make him stop calling his Mom.This guy REALLY loves his Mom.He usually talks to her 4 times a week or so.But not now.She's pissed, too.a10j10 said:
exotic_island_girl
New member
He's just probably stress out that he's going to Iraq again.If you really love him , go visit him and ask what's wrong? If he doesnt want to talk, do something that would cheer him up. If he doesn't want to hang out or do anything or basically shove you off then that's up to you. break up or not.
strangebrew
New member
He probably has gonorrea and doesn't know how to tell you.
GoldenDelicious
New member
i agree with killah. he has anxiety and detatchment is how he has decided to deal with it.
call the on base counsellor, im sure theyve seen it hundreds of times before, and will reassure both of you
cheerios
call the on base counsellor, im sure theyve seen it hundreds of times before, and will reassure both of you
cheerios
sigweed
New member
when my mom got cancer i did the same thing with my girlfriend... i still loved her and everything but needed my own space to deal with stuff... i eventually broke up with her, but that was more of a distance thing than a relationship problem... so just give the guy a little space, showing that you're still there to support him if he ever needs it, and you guys will be fine
Yes, it happens. Actually kinda a lot. But I don't see him doing that. Those guys are usually at least a little on edge from the start.squatpuke said:
He's already been 2 other times and he is not a little more different each time he returns...but I don't see him ever going nutz on me. I don't know if he could if he wanted to. The worst thing he has EVER even said to me, in over 3 years was, "Your being a little jerk right now". And that's after I got totally pissed and yelled at him for about 10 minutes straight. He won't even yell back at me. I have heard him yell at other people but not me. So I don't see him really going nutz on me. But some of those guys do turn KRAZY.
When my brother was going to go over there during desert storm in 91 he was young and had never been away from home...and as the time got closer to his time to depart.....he became almost non tolerable...he was mean to my mom.....and he and i got into a number of arguments because of the way he was talking to my mom
I think its because they are scared and are trying to deal with it..and maybe everyone deals with it their own way
BTW men do suck
I think its because they are scared and are trying to deal with it..and maybe everyone deals with it their own way
BTW men do suck
slat1
New member
I think everyone is right. I think he is detaching himself. He probably is just doing it without realizing it. He is worried about not seeing you and his mother again. Talking to both of you probably rips him apart emotionally. That could be a problem if he can't focus. If he is not 100% on his game he could get killed.
If you love him... trust him. Wait for him. He will be back.
If you love him... trust him. Wait for him. He will be back.
lundmaster
New member
Hey,
Its called Pre-Stress Syndrome. A lot of the people on elite really called this one out. Pretty much he realizes he might not return or may be injured in combat, and he is trying to seperate himself from those he loves. This is a defensive mechanism because he doesnt want to hurt anyone. You really have a wonderful man, but I am sure you undrstand that. There isnt much you can do but give him his space that he needs.
Don't worry this stuff doesnt last forever, but expect it to continue for a while when he gets to Iraq. ?After a while everything will return back to normal.
Lund
Its called Pre-Stress Syndrome. A lot of the people on elite really called this one out. Pretty much he realizes he might not return or may be injured in combat, and he is trying to seperate himself from those he loves. This is a defensive mechanism because he doesnt want to hurt anyone. You really have a wonderful man, but I am sure you undrstand that. There isnt much you can do but give him his space that he needs.
Don't worry this stuff doesnt last forever, but expect it to continue for a while when he gets to Iraq. ?After a while everything will return back to normal.
Lund
medicj said:
KBEKQT
New member
KillahBee said:
I agree with Killah, remember, we are talking about a man here, guys normally don't react the way women do. Guys protect their heart a lot more than women do...he has to worry about his safety and make sure his head is on right before heading out over seas. Be understanding, let him know you love him (that is if you do) and that you understand what he is going through, but keep it simple. Give him some space. Man don't deal with drama the way we do. Actually they'd rather not deal with the drama. Good luck.
Razorguns
Well-known member
medicj said:
How easy of an access to phones does he have there? Does he have a cell phone?
How often was he calling before he left? You know him far better than any of us, so it's near impossible for us to hypothesize what he's thinking or going through. Is he coming home soon?
Don't sweat it. Either he calls ... or he doesn't. Not much you can do. So start doing something productive with your time until you get the complete picture.
Yup.a10j10 said:
And since he's going somewhere dangerous he's gotta get in a state of mind where he can concentrate on the things that will keep him alive.
To be constantly thinking about those he loves the most when he's training & focusing can be distracting. Plus he's gotta get emotionally used to not being in constant contact with you two.
Been there. Not to his extent, but I have had a hint of it in the past.
Just hang in there with his Mom, & be there for him when he needs you. It will mean the world to him.
Unless it's the Gonorrhea thing. JK,JK,JK
S
Spartacus
Guest
I call bullshit on him
if he loves you he would want to talk to you daily
I've been in love twice in my 25 adult years
I'm discriminating and I know the feeling
if he loves you he would want to talk to you daily
I've been in love twice in my 25 adult years
I'm discriminating and I know the feeling
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