I don't know why I am doing this

[LoneTree]

I don't know why I am writing this post.
There was a person I was pretty close to.
Then I did something disgusting; very few things in life that I have done that I am not proud of.
I voluntarily squealed on him. He wasn't harmed, but he found out about it.
We never spoke ever since.
He told common friends about it, but few people believed him.
People didn't think I was the kind of person to do that. He also became paranoid about almost every one.
I still don't fully understand why I did that. May be I was angry that he didn't appreciate my generosity to him.
I just found out that he died 2 months ago of Colon Cancer.
He was only 47. He had 3 children.
He was a nice person.
I am just in shock.

 

[SoKlueles]

You cant take back what happened. You can pray for his family and move on. Guilt is a bad thing and if u let it, it will kill you too.
Sorry bout him having colon cancer at 47 sweety

 

[BUBBLES]

oh LoneTree I am so sorry to hear this..

If he had colon cancer I am sure he would have forgotten about what you did to him. Getting healthy would have been his main priority and he would have forgiven you.

We all make mistakes and we learn from them. Maybe if you go to his family and apologise for what you did they may appreciate it and it will probably give you a chance to move on too...!! Just an idea...

 

[*MissFit*]

hmm well did he do waht u said he did...

why u posted is because u need to tell someone.. i dunno why yuo squelled as you put it..

But don't be so hard on yourself.. we all make mistakes

 

[KillahBee]

See Jane.
See Jane run.
Run Jane.
Run.

 

[LoneTree]

hmm well did he do waht u said he did...

why u posted is because u need to tell someone.. i dunno why yuo squelled as you put it..

But don't be so hard on yourself.. we all make mistakes

He did do it. I didn't lie.
But you can imagine how I feel that I love movie 'Scent of a Woman' and have seen it several times.

 

[Gymgurl]

If you spoke the truth and did not do it to harm that person then you did nothing wrong...forgive yourself and move on. Him dying had nothing to do with you

 

[JayC9]

Then I did something disgusting, I voluntarily squealed on him.

Come on then, spill the beans. If you want forgiveness you have to confess all first.

 

[KillahBee]

If you spoke the truth and did not do it to harm that person then you did nothing wrong...forgive yourself and move on. Him dying had nothing to do with you

I disagree. Obviously we don't know the full story here, but in my book and the way I grew up, ratting on someone is one of the worst things you can do. But, the guy is gone and you realize that you fucked up. Live and learn. Move on.

 

[LoneTree]

I disagree. Obviously we don't know the full story here, but in my book and the way I grew up, ratting on someone is one of the worst things you can do. But, the guy is gone and you realize that you fucked up. Live and learn. Move on.

I agree with you.
I was under a lot of pressure at that time.
I realized it soon after I did it.
There are few things in life that I am really sorry for, and this tops the list.
It makes me look so small in my own eyes.
At one occasion, my superior was really angry at me for not doing something. I didn't tell him that it was my senior's fault as I went home early after a night-call. He found it on his own and was surprised that I didn't tell him that.

I'll make full confession. He was in some technical violations and it could have lost his job and a year of his professional career. I am so relieved that it didn't happen.

 

[JayC9]

Say three hail marys, four our fathers and two salamis and all is forgiven.

 

[Sub-Zero]

I disagree. Obviously we don't know the full story here, but in my book and the way I grew up, ratting on someone is one of the worst things you can do. But, the guy is gone and you realize that you fucked up. Live and learn. Move on.

true.

and no whe has the weight on his shoulders of this guys death- cause it was obviously his fault.

i just hope lone tree is man enough to support this guys kids

 

[shawnerk]

It's good that you are talking about it. He didn't die because you told on him, that is in the past now. Forgive youself, cuz' he prolly has forgiven you, too. Take care