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i couldn't sleep last night

stilleto

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because of a situation with my kids that I'm not sure how to handle.

my 11 year old looked in my cell phone at my text messages and saw one that she shouldn't have.

i'm sure she told her brothers what it said and now i have to address it today. I'm mad at her for snooping, but understand why she did, and it's really beside the point.

this parenting thing is tough.
 
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hstern said:
is there any way that it can be explained as something else, or is there no doubt

there's no doubt.
she saw it in my room when the cat knocked over my 'special little basket' of stuff (rolling papers, pipe). thats when she looked in my phone, because the day before she wanted to know what my friend texted me and i wouldn't tell her.

she went to my husband last night and asked him about it and my son made a comment the other day that i realize meant she told him too.
 
stilleto said:
there's no doubt.
she saw it in my room when the cat knocked over my 'special little basket' of stuff (rolling papers, pipe). thats when she looked in my phone, because the day before she wanted to know what my friend texted me and i wouldn't tell her.

she went to my husband last night and asked him about it and my son made a comment the other day that i realize meant she told him too.

That's why I hate animals in the house. They're a pain in the ass. The damn dog was barking all night and I had to restrain myself from knocking him out. I didn't sleep either and I'm highly irritated. My medicine was changed and is not working right. I feel like smashing my fucking forehead through the computer screen.
 
heatherrae said:
Uh oh!

Tell them it was an inside joke/sarcasm.

Kids are smarter than we think.. It's a tough call. I don't think marijuana should be illegal, but it is. I might tell the kid that it's like drinking a beer only that the worst of the 2 drugs is legal and the other is not because our govt is full of stupid people... Teach them the truth when they're young... Problem is if CPA finds out, you might have a problem.. Bunch of idiots in this country.
 
heatherrae said:
Uh oh!

Tell them it was an inside joke/sarcasm.
terrible idea, kids now what's up.
when i was about 7 my parents took my to their friends house.
everyone went in the garage and passed around cigarrettes, or so my folks told me. but i knew something was up, normal cigs you didn't pass around...and the smell was unique. so even then i knew what was up and that triggered an interest that still hasn't waned, close to 25 yrs later.

stilleto, the hard reality of it all is that you cannot hide this forever. the more hiding, the more the kiddos will be interested. it could go either way, some of the kids i knew who's folks blazed never touched the stuff. Others did, but never progressed past. The majority, though, became drugged out losers who progressed will beyond weed (think jh1 w.o the designer jeans).
as much as i hate to say it, quitting may be the only option
 
I wouldn't lie about it that's just adding fuel to the fire.


What a tough subject. I am sure you thought about this situation and what you might say in the past. Now that it's time to 'do this'.... the right words just aren't there it would seem.

I don't know what I'd say either. I'd start thinking about it like this. What are the reasons I didn't want my children to know? What are the reasons (if any) you wouldn't want your children to take up to smoking?

Be Honest and list them out on paper....
 
jh1 said:
I wouldn't lie about it that's just adding fuel to the fire.


What a tough subject. I am sure you thought about this situation and what you might say in the past. Now that it's time to 'do this'.... the right words just aren't there it would seem.

I don't know what I'd say either. I'd start thinking about it like this. What are the reasons I didn't want my children to know? What are the reasons (if any) you wouldn't want your children to take up to smoking?

Be Honest and list them out on paper....
what are you gonna tell jh2 when she finds the pics of you snorting blow off of mommies bagina?
 
biteme said:
That's why I hate animals in the house. They're a pain in the ass. The damn dog was barking all night and I had to restrain myself from knocking him out. I didn't sleep either and I'm highly irritated. My medicine was changed and is not working right. I feel like smashing my fucking forehead through the computer screen.


How does an animal make a child a snoop?
 
Moltke said:
what are you gonna tell jh2 when she finds the pics of you snorting blow off of mommies bagina?


Exactly.

I have to clean house no doubt.

That's the easy part though. I have to come up with some way to explain why mom & dad aren't together - ya know like 'We were young & foolish'... But later on she might hear things which is what really worries me. I don't ever want her to know about the drugs.
 
velvett said:
How does an animal make a child a snoop?



LMFAO... .


Apparently you haven't heard of David Berkowitz, Son of Sam, the dog told him to kill all those people.
 
Could be worse. It could be a dick pic that was sent to you.

Might be time to stop smoking. That's a tough one. I never touched drugs until my mom told me her and my dad did them. I smoked pot for a while and kind of went at.from there. I got into some bad shit and stayed there for a while, but pulled out of it. Most people I know weren't able to do th
 
stilleto said:
there's no doubt.
she saw it in my room when the cat knocked over my 'special little basket' of stuff (rolling papers, pipe). thats when she looked in my phone, because the day before she wanted to know what my friend texted me and i wouldn't tell her.

she went to my husband last night and asked him about it and my son made a comment the other day that i realize meant she told him too.


when my daughter was born I decided drugs weren't an option. Whats the one commercial say? Parents who use drugs have kids who use drugs. lol! I know its a silly commercial, but true. Good luck, I hope everything works out in the end.
 
we are trying for kids now....i am now offically sure i am not prepared (even at forty)...i would suggest the lawyer trick of making the issue about snooping not what was found but i get the feeling your kids are too smart for that...ughhh I am so not prepared for parenthood
 
digimon7068 said:
yikes. . .i only have a couple of vices. . .none of them come home with me. . .too scary. . .


your right she might not like me showing up with you... :heart:
 
Fuck thats a difficult situation, I would have no idea what to do if something like that happened.

I would still try to cover it up if I where you, I don't think it would be a good idea for your kids to have the green light on knowing that you've be using. Simply because it might give them the idea to them that its okay and really isn't as bad as everyone makes it because their mother smokes a little. Plus if you ever caught your kids coming home smelling like ganj or alcohol they'll always have this to use against you.


:worried:
 
^^^

You'd be suprised. My x's dad told my x to stop aruging about the blow and go do her 'line'....
 
jh1 said:
LMFAO... .


Apparently you haven't heard of David Berkowitz, Son of Sam, the dog told him to kill all those people.

Damn straight. Animals are way smarter than people give them credit for.. My dog told me to don a batman suit before having sex cause it would drive her wild.. He was right.
 
it's ok.
i talked with them. i was semi honest and said that it's something i have done and my coworker does for medical reasons. I said she wanted me to try hers and i did, but it's not something to be proud of or good for them to do (like having a drink). They understood and all said they were just concerned because of my family history.
 
stilleto said:
it's ok.
i talked with them. i was semi honest and said that it's something i have done and my coworker does for medical reasons. I said she wanted me to try hers and i did, but it's not something to be proud of or good for them to do (like having a drink). They understood and all said they were just concerned because of my family history.

After your talk, did you take Alex, Mallory and Jennifer out for ice cream?

-
 
When I was around 3-5 years old my dad use to ask me to hold his little metal pipe to his mouth while he was driving... Both my parents stopped smoking when I was about 13, but are still open to it when they hang out with their friends. I never caught any grief from them about weed when I was growing up but they always got on my case about getting drunk and coming home sloppy.
 
How about the truth? Kids really respond to that.
The snooping needs some corrective discipline. That stands alone.
The message? Tell the truth.
I've been telling the new daughter the flat out truth about anything and everything. Perhaps I can do that because our relationship is not traditional. But, it is really bringing us closer very quickly. And if the truth reveals something she or I need to correct, we do it.
 
When my nephew was 13, he found his Dad's stash. He didn't know what to do, so he came to me to tell me he found it and asked me if his Dad was doing drugs.
My reply "you will have to speak to your Dad"
He spoke to his Dad and my sis about finding the dope and they told him the truth, that his Dad smokes dope at night.
My nephew does not do drugs. He's also in a metal band so he's surrounded by drugs all the time. But he chose not to be like his Dad.

I don't believe kids do what their parents do. My Mom was a heavy drinker and my sisters and me do not drink.
 
blueta2 said:
When my nephew was 13, he found his Dad's stash. He didn't know what to do, so he came to me to tell me he found it and asked me if his Dad was doing drugs.
My reply "you will have to speak to your Dad"
He spoke to his Dad and my sis about finding the dope and they told him the truth, that his Dad smokes dope at night.
My nephew does not do drugs. He's also in a mental band so he's surrounded by drugs all the time. But he chose not to be like his Dad.

I don't believe kids do what their parents do. My Mom was a heavy drinker and my sisters and me do not drink.

thanks.
that helped.
i told my daughter how mad i am at her snooping (turns out, the cat didn't knock anything over, she was looking around my room). My one son has been quiet all day but i think i have to have a special talk with him. his dad had issues with drugs (his dad is my dad).
 
stilleto said:
thanks.
that helped.
i told my daughter how mad i am at her snooping (turns out, the cat didn't knock anything over, she was looking around my room). My one son has been quiet all day but i think i have to have a special talk with him. his dad had issues with drugs (his dad is my dad).

Welcome........yeah I think just being honest. My parents always bullshitten me and my sisters when we were kids and we knew it. We lost respect when we knew they were lying.
I think kids feel an independence and a trust when parents show that they are as fallible as the rest of the world.
 
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