I can feel you stroking my hair now....

[Bikini Mod]

Epiphany


Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
'Cause it's always raining in my head
So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it
Wash away 'Cause I can't take anymore
Of this, I want to come apart,
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart
'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
though I always try to hide
And I talk to you like children,
but I don't know
I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
But it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said


I can feel your lips barely touching my ear as you whisper to me ever so gently yet with the strength to make me believe, "It will be ok."

It WILL be ok.

 

[BaBa-BooeY]

 

[Bikini Mod]

...As you wish, Darlin' ......As you wish.

 

[the People's Champ]

exactly

 

[naturally anabolic]

i love staind ....that was my favorite song when i was in my most depressed of days that and fade to black by metallica was all i listened to for days straight

 

[Virtual Acid]

Metallica- Fade to black , My Depression song,

 

[Bikini Mod]

I am sorry if this depresses you.... it wasn't meant to be depressing...

I am just letting someone know that I can see that this is going on inside of them and that it's ok. It's hard for me to just sit here and let them go through whatever it is that is going on inside of them. All I can do is let them know that I am here and I know how they feel about me.... Maybe someday soon, they can do the right thing when it becomes clear TO THEM.

I won't lie and say that it doesn't hurt me to feel like they will never "get it".... I am very intense and passionate. When I love it is all and it comes quickly and is overwhelming, but that doesn't mean that it is flippant AT ALL. I loved my ex faithfully for nearly thirteen years and I did it EASILY. As a matter of fact I knew that I wanted to be with him after only TWO WEEKS.

It is hard for me to accept that the one who my heart and soul belong to feels this way about me, but for some reason unknown to me - can not share that with me......

I haven't seen him for nearly six months and I can still smell his skin.

 

[naturally anabolic]

do not speak through song then hun talk to them directly

 

[Test boy]

If thats him in your avatar...he needs to tan more evenly. Better yet...wear shorts. This isn't the 70's or 80's anymore.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I DO talk to him, silly... problem is he won't talk back always. He is afraid of something and I don't know what it is. I know it is difficult for him to reveal his emotions, but whenever he does reveal something he runs and hides for a time.....

It is very frustrating for me.... I KNOW he loves me as much as I do him... but something is keeping us apart and I don't know what it is. He keeps telling me that I did nothing wrong and then will turn tail as soon as he reveals himself...

The words to the song reflect how I see him....

I know there is something going on deep within him.... and he will not let me in. I want so much to help him, but he won't allow it.

My friends who know us both say that I should just leave him be, but I can't. It just isn't my nature. I love him very much.... more than I have loved any other in a very long time.... I know he feels the same about me. I knew it all along....

I KNOW it will be ok.... but does he?