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Twisted_Steel
New member
Gentlemen it has been over a year that I made my way over to the online bodybuilding community. In that time I have educated and been educated on numerous fronts. In that time as an athlete I have changed. My priorities have changed and in as much I have sacrificed much for a way of life I thought was right.
I thought my lifestyle was harmless, I thought that little consequence could come of it. I thought that bodybuilding was virtuous and done to enrich my life and health.
BULLSHIT, bodybuilding is all of that, but my ideal has been corrupted and changed me into a person who although bigger, is by far smaller emotionally and spiritually that what I was.
Dealing these drugs, dispensing advice on their administration, inculcating others into the lifestyle are just some of the things that I turned into. Although my academic standings have not changed nor thankfully my freedom I realize that I have entered a downward spiral. I fear that my actions if left unchecked would indeed lead me to lose all that I hold dear in my life.
This lifestyle and what it's done to me, and how it changed my once sober and pure ideal is not worth my freedome and all else that I may stand to lose.
In a world absent of other humans, vices, and addictiond the use and administration of anabolic steroids can indeed be BENIGN! I however, despite all my research and my self-conceived maturity, have been changed for the worse. I dont like who I have become.
Some of you reading this might question my conviction or my "manhood".I tell you that if realizing the error of my ways and realizing how deeply entrenched I have become as a result of this lifestyle lables me in some ill concieved fashion, then so be it.
Where once all I wanted was personal success within the NPC has taken me to assume risk and live a life contrary to what I have been taught. The danger that I have assumed along with those persons whose own existence I have endangered as a result of my stupidity ends now.
Some of you, although few and far between, are walking examples of successful athletes "using" only to better their performance and nothing more. I thought I could exemplify that way of being. Obviously i couldn't , however I AM TRUELY GRATEFUL THAT I WAS enlightened on the error of my ways before someone became hurt or incarcerated.
God bless all of you who I have shared thoughts with, I pray you stay safe. I pray you never get involved as deeply as I did, because it truly will corrupt your soul. I pray that if you do that your faith though it may have been momentarily lost will bring you back before you hit the wall.
Please stay safe and remember that if your going to assume the risk, please do so intelligibly and cautiously.
PEACE
I thought my lifestyle was harmless, I thought that little consequence could come of it. I thought that bodybuilding was virtuous and done to enrich my life and health.
BULLSHIT, bodybuilding is all of that, but my ideal has been corrupted and changed me into a person who although bigger, is by far smaller emotionally and spiritually that what I was.
Dealing these drugs, dispensing advice on their administration, inculcating others into the lifestyle are just some of the things that I turned into. Although my academic standings have not changed nor thankfully my freedom I realize that I have entered a downward spiral. I fear that my actions if left unchecked would indeed lead me to lose all that I hold dear in my life.
This lifestyle and what it's done to me, and how it changed my once sober and pure ideal is not worth my freedome and all else that I may stand to lose.
In a world absent of other humans, vices, and addictiond the use and administration of anabolic steroids can indeed be BENIGN! I however, despite all my research and my self-conceived maturity, have been changed for the worse. I dont like who I have become.
Some of you reading this might question my conviction or my "manhood".I tell you that if realizing the error of my ways and realizing how deeply entrenched I have become as a result of this lifestyle lables me in some ill concieved fashion, then so be it.
Where once all I wanted was personal success within the NPC has taken me to assume risk and live a life contrary to what I have been taught. The danger that I have assumed along with those persons whose own existence I have endangered as a result of my stupidity ends now.
Some of you, although few and far between, are walking examples of successful athletes "using" only to better their performance and nothing more. I thought I could exemplify that way of being. Obviously i couldn't , however I AM TRUELY GRATEFUL THAT I WAS enlightened on the error of my ways before someone became hurt or incarcerated.
God bless all of you who I have shared thoughts with, I pray you stay safe. I pray you never get involved as deeply as I did, because it truly will corrupt your soul. I pray that if you do that your faith though it may have been momentarily lost will bring you back before you hit the wall.
Please stay safe and remember that if your going to assume the risk, please do so intelligibly and cautiously.
PEACE
