How the super persuasive persuade peeps.

[-Ariel-]

One of my professors is so persuasive in his lectures, that it is not so much the content of his lectures, which are interesting, but rather something about how he delivers them that captivates people. I have talked to him privately and noticed immediately, I'm drawn into the conversation and want to agree with everything he says. I wondered what is it that makes him so compelling? It's not just charm, energy, likeabliity... there was something indefinable that drew me in. Do you know anybody super persuasive, that has the capacity to persuade you when you are uncertain? Maybe you have this gift.

Studies now show that whenever we have a conversation with another, we actually engage in micro rhythms in which our gestures, speech patterns actually synchronize or meet a common ground... it is like a little dance that happens between the individuals. Moreover, the most persuasive are able, through some unknown mechanism, to get you to harmonize with their pattern. They actually conduct the hidden music behind the dance. When they nod, you nod, when they smile, you smile. The persuasive person is able to draw the subject into their own personal rhythms and conduct the micro rhythm of the interaction. One can't consciously do this because it comes off as fake and makes the subject uncomfortable, rather this is an innate ability which the persuader has gained a certain degree of mastery over. It is an innate super reflex though, and I doubt can be taught. It is more of a physiological ability than anything else. Musicians and skilled speakers are aware and attuned to the synchrony of the crowds and able to determine if the crowd is on the same wavelength. Through this awareness, they are able to gain the crowd's receptivity.
Do you know some peeps, who on some level, cannot be resisted? Do you have this ability?
Must be nice.

 

[EnderJE]

Yes. I know people like that. But only in a work type setting.

 

[ortiz34]

One of my professors is so persuasive in his lectures, that it is not so much the content of his lectures, which are interesting, but rather something about how he delivers them that captivates people. I have talked to him privately and noticed immediately, I'm drawn into the conversation and want to agree with everything he says. I wondered what is it that makes him so compelling? It's not just charm, energy, likeabliity... there was something indefinable that drew me in. Do you know anybody super persuasive, that has the capacity to persuade you when you are uncertain? Maybe you have this gift.

Studies now show that whenever we have a conversation with another, we actually engage in micro rhythms in which our gestures, speech patterns actually synchronize or meet a common ground... it is like a little dance that happens between the individuals. Moreover, the most persuasive are able, through some unknown mechanism, to get you to harmonize with their pattern. They actually conduct the hidden music behind the dance. When they nod, you nod, when they smile, you smile. The persuasive person is able to draw the subject into their own personal rhythms and conduct the micro rhythm of the interaction. One can't consciously do this because it comes off as fake and makes the subject uncomfortable, rather this is an innate ability which the persuader has gained a certain degree of mastery over. It is an innate super reflex though, and I doubt can be taught. It is more of a physiological ability than anything else. Musicians and skilled speakers are aware and attuned to the synchrony of the crowds and able to determine if the crowd is on the same wavelength. Through this awareness, they are able to gain the crowd's receptivity.
Do you know some peeps, who on some level, cannot be resisted? Do you have this ability?
Must be nice.

your posts are stranger than my bubbling grundle

 

[GoldenDelicious]

there are lots of techniques that have to be combined to do that - ultimately what youre talking about is frame control, but the social dance that yorue talking about is done via bodylanguage cues like mirroring, then leading the other person so that they mirror you, mirroring tonality, mirroring eye contact level etc until you have control. you also have to calibrate so that your energy level is just above (or just below, depending on what youw ant to do) that of the person that you are talking to (if its too far removed, hooking them is harder)

if you want to get better at this, go learn to pickup girls. its the same thing

 

[the_alcatraz]

I'll get back to this right after the main event. Very interesting question.

 

[bill.french]

book marked i will read later

 

[hurricane]

to make a long answer short.. yes .. people u look up to or idiolize .. have this effect on u

 

[the_alcatraz]

many ways to persuade people and lots of books you can read on the matter.

A couple of ways I use to let people see things my way and sell them a ship in the desert type of thing or ice cream to an eskimo:

1- agree with them and compliment them. then slowely introduce the topic. pretend that they can teach you the topic, even though it is obvious that they know nothing about it. they will get cocky and start accepting everything that you say to them because almost everything that you tell them is compliments. Make them feel like you are their number one fan and their supporter 100%. Make them feel smart, never appear smarter than them. They will buy into it and begin to trust you. When they least expect it, you will drop the idea and convince them that in their wisdom and intelligence, it is the right choice. they will not even consider cognitive dissonance, not will they ever question your pitch.

a few books to read:

1- swimming with the sharks without being eaten alive
2- the 41 rules of power
3- the prince

most of these books are on deception, trickery, illusion, negotiation, bartering, etc...

they will make you better with people

 

[GoldenDelicious]

many ways to persuade people and lots of books you can read on the matter.

A couple of ways I use to let people see things my way and sell them a ship in the desert type of thing or ice cream to an eskimo:

1- agree with them and compliment them. then slowely introduce the topic. pretend that they can teach you the topic, even though it is obvious that they know nothing about it. they will get cocky and start accepting everything that you say to them because almost everything that you tell them is compliments. Make them feel like you are their number one fan and their supporter 100%. Make them feel smart, never appear smarter than them. They will buy into it and begin to trust you. When they least expect it, you will drop the idea and convince them that in their wisdom and intelligence, it is the right choice. they will not even consider cognitive dissonance, not will they ever question your pitch.

a few books to read:

1- swimming with the sharks without being eaten alive
2- the 41 rules of power
3- the prince

most of these books are on deception, trickery, illusion, negotiation, bartering, etc...

they will make you better with people

add Influence by robert cialdini to that list

the description above is based around the consistency principle - people want to appear consistent in the things they do, else they suffer social consequences etc - so if you can get the person to come up with the idea on their own (by leading tm to it, as you describe) then they will try really hard to do that thing because they desire to be consistent with the idea that they have invested in

this is why you "flip the script"on girls and make jokes that theyre chasing you, and that they have to be really nice/make you a sandwich before they can have sex with you. after a while, they think that it was actually their idea, and if they actually make you a sandwich, they will feel a need to follow through and be consistent with the previous model and actually jump into bed. its really wrong whenyou see it happen, but so, so funny

 

[the_alcatraz]

exactly. notso sure about the girl part. I have my own techniques with wimminz...

Also, the easiest man to sell to or convince is a man who believes he's self made!

add Influence by robert cialdini to that list

the description above is based around the consistency principle - people want to appear consistent in the things they do, else they suffer social consequences etc - so if you can get the person to come up with the idea on their own (by leading tm to it, as you describe) then they will try really hard to do that thing because they desire to be consistent with the idea that they have invested in

this is why you "flip the script"on girls and make jokes that theyre chasing you, and that they have to be really nice/make you a sandwich before they can have sex with you. after a while, they think that it was actually their idea, and if they actually make you a sandwich, they will feel a need to follow through and be consistent with the previous model and actually jump into bed. its really wrong whenyou see it happen, but so, so funny

 

[calveless wonder]

many ways to persuade people and lots of books you can read on the matter.

A couple of ways I use to let people see things my way and sell them a ship in the desert type of thing or ice cream to an eskimo:

1- agree with them and compliment them. then slowely introduce the topic. pretend that they can teach you the topic, even though it is obvious that they know nothing about it. they will get cocky and start accepting everything that you say to them because almost everything that you tell them is compliments. Make them feel like you are their number one fan and their supporter 100%. Make them feel smart, never appear smarter than them. They will buy into it and begin to trust you. When they least expect it, you will drop the idea and convince them that in their wisdom and intelligence, it is the right choice. they will not even consider cognitive dissonance, not will they ever question your pitch.

a few books to read:

1- swimming with the sharks without being eaten alive
2- the 41 rules of power
3- the prince

most of these books are on deception, trickery, illusion, negotiation, bartering, etc...

they will make you better with people

that is such a 1 dimensional approach and only works with a specific type of client. a person with a bit of intuition can see through that type of pitch

for instance, in sales....there is no 1 technique. different clients you have to deal with differently.

being genuine and appealing to people's empathetic side goes a long way to being persuasive. body language and the stuff GD discussed plays a huge role

 

[-Ariel-]

many ways to persuade people and lots of books you can read on the matter.

A couple of ways I use to let people see things my way and sell them a ship in the desert type of thing or ice cream to an eskimo:

1- agree with them and compliment them. then slowely introduce the topic. pretend that they can teach you the topic, even though it is obvious that they know nothing about it. they will get cocky and start accepting everything that you say to them because almost everything that you tell them is compliments. Make them feel like you are their number one fan and their supporter 100%. Make them feel smart, never appear smarter than them. They will buy into it and begin to trust you. When they least expect it, you will drop the idea and convince them that in their wisdom and intelligence, it is the right choice. they will not even consider cognitive dissonance, not will they ever question your pitch.

a few books to read:

1- swimming with the sharks without being eaten alive
2- the 41 rules of power
3- the prince

most of these books are on deception, trickery, illusion, negotiation, bartering, etc...

they will make you better with people

I agree, however, the compliments, I would think have to be amped with an enthusiasm... and have to be sincere... again I am talking about the most elite of the persuasive and there dealings are not with regular people but the most discerning indivuiduals who are seasoned with their dealings and interactions with a variety of persuaders. We would refer to this encounter as these people having a genuine presence... It appears you have a certain degree of this quality, I'm not bad, but it appears to me, from what I have read, this is more an innate super reflex, that can be developed, but just as you can't really teach someone to have a wicked left hook, it seems this is more of a gift that one is born with.
I would like reread the prince again... great book.

 

[scooter22]

Without reading all that, people with strong convictions tend to sound convincing in grey area matters or on subjects in which you yourself are not an expert.... I tend to like more open minded people that realize that the truth of the matter is often very hard to discern.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

I agree, however, the compliments, I would think have to be amped with an enthusiasm... and have to be sincere... again I am talking about the most elite of the persuasive and there dealings are not with regular people but the most discerning indivuiduals who are seasoned with their dealings and interactions with a variety of persuaders. We would refer to this encounter as these people having a genuine presence... It appears you have a certain degree of this quality, I'm not bad, but it appears to me, from what I have read, this is more an innate super reflex, that can be developed, but just as you can't really teach someone to have a wicked left hook, it seems this is more of a gift that one is born with.
I would like reread the prince again... great book.

the reason that compliments work is because you basically reward people for good behaviour - in this case, thinking what you want them to think - and also, because people really like teh feeling of being approved/adored etc and, having accepted compliments from someone and liking the idea of being aligned/liked by that person, are reluctant to oppose things that that person has to say, because its a basic human behavorial trait to preserve relationships/alignments with people who think well of them

its easy to challenge, or outright reject the ideas of a stranger. its a lot harder to do so with a person that you like, or at least, like being around. if a stranger came up to you and asked you to do.believe something, its reeeaaallyy easy to tell theto f off. if someone that you like does it, you at worst ask "why?" ...which then opens the door for you to convince them

 

[the_alcatraz]

that is such a 1 dimensional approach and only works with a specific type of client. a person with a bit of intuition can see through that type of pitch

for instance, in sales....there is no 1 technique. different clients you have to deal with differently.

being genuine and appealing to people's empathetic side goes a long way to being persuasive. body language and the stuff GD discussed plays a huge role

Absolutely. That's only ONE way. But it DOES work with many clients that I've sold too.

 

[the_alcatraz]

I agree, however, the compliments, I would think have to be amped with an enthusiasm... and have to be sincere... again I am talking about the most elite of the persuasive and there dealings are not with regular people but the most discerning indivuiduals who are seasoned with their dealings and interactions with a variety of persuaders. We would refer to this encounter as these people having a genuine presence... It appears you have a certain degree of this quality, I'm not bad, but it appears to me, from what I have read, this is more an innate super reflex, that can be developed, but just as you can't really teach someone to have a wicked left hook, it seems this is more of a gift that one is born with.
I would like reread the prince again... great book.

number one thing is that you have to be very knowledgeable and know the ins and out of everything.....or at least appear to be....

 

[-SD-]

if you have to read a book about trying to gain certain personality traits that you dont already have, then you aint that kind of person to begin with and probably never will be.

 

[the_alcatraz]

if you have to read a book about trying to gain certain personality traits that you dont already have, then you aint that kind of person to begin with and probably never will be.

you are so wrong bro.

Most personality traits are acquired and not born with you....whether you acquire them by experience, trial and error or buying a book makes no diff.

 

[-SD-]

you are so wrong bro.

Most personality traits are acquired and not born with you....whether you acquire them by experience, trial and error or buying a book makes no diff.

What type of person are you? Did you acquire your personality traits or were you always that way? Cant change who you are on a base level bor. If you read a book about how to be a salesman, sure you can follow the tactical advice like "never even hear the first 5 no's" and stuff like that, but if you dont have the "sales" type personality none of those tactics will work.

 

[the_alcatraz]

What type of person are you? Did you acquire your personality traits or were you always that way? Cant change who you are on a base level bor. If you read a book about how to be a salesman, sure you can follow the tactical advice like "never even hear the first 5 no's" and stuff like that, but if you dont have the "sales" type personality none of those tactics will work.

There is a reason so many business book are platinum best sellers bro.

I've read several business books and character books and they've helped me a lot.

You know why they teach Shakespeare in business university? because of all the traits that shakespeare portrays of deception, deceit, betrayal, loyalty, etc...traits that you should be very familiar with in business.....

Why would I wait for someone to betray me, when I can learn about deception and discover it in my everyday life?

 

[-SD-]

There is a reason so many business book are platinum best sellers bro.

I've read several business books and character books and they've helped me a lot.

You know why they teach Shakespeare in business university? because of all the traits that shakespeare portrays of deception, deceit, betrayal, loyalty, etc...traits that you should be very familiar with in business.....

Why would I wait for someone to betray me, when I can learn about deception and discover it in my everyday life?

We are talking about two different things here. Im talking about books that try to change basic personality traits like extrovert or introvert, outgoing, creative, analytical, etc. Those things cant be changed after adulthood I dont think. Youre talking about recognizing things in business and also recognizing actions or traits in others. Some things can be modified somewhat but you cant change a creative person into an analytical person, nor can you change an introvert into a good salesman. Also books about business are useful but those books dont claim to change basic personality traits. So you are correct with respect to what you are talking about.