How Important is Image to You?

[musclemom]

This may be a repost ... but something my husband was telling me this morning got me to thinking:

If you were with someone who was a real joy to be with, I mean totally easy to talk to, great in bed, no disgusting or bad habits ... BUUUUUUTT they weren't big on their appearance, i.e., never dressed nicely and/or needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds how much would that bother you?

And if the fact they didn't look like a model would really, really bother you, would you actually be able to stay with someone just because they were smoking hot to look at and always perfectly turned out, even for something like going to the grocery store, buuuuut they weren't very interesting to talk to, were a selfish asshole, pissed money away, and/or a total bore in bed?

 

[H_T_]

kinda. doesn't that mean they're not into taking care of themselves? if i could spin it that way.....

 

[puddlemonkey]

I think as we get older it becomes less important to us. Not so much how we look, but how others perceive us.

 

[musclemom]

kinda. doesn't that mean they're not into taking care of themselves? if i could spin it that way.....

Assume they're clean, their clothes are clean, they brush their teeth but they've worn the same style clothes/hair forever.

If it's a chick, she's not into makeup or getting her nails done.

People can be in decent shape (like doing okay on cardiac tests and stuff) and still be overweight.

 

[the_clockwork]

I don't consider myself being an egomanic just caring about myself

 

[ksharp01]

Well, I guess that if I truely loved this person it wouldn't matter to an extent...the weight would have to be a problem if it affected healt though.

I mainly just ask that my man be bathed and I'm good to go..lol

 

[the_clockwork]

Well, I guess that if I truely loved this person it wouldn't matter to an extent...the weight would have to be a problem if it affected healt though.

I mainly just ask that my man be bathed and I'm good to go..lol

high standards

 

[musclemom]

I don't consider myself being an egomanic just caring about myself

I'm not saying anything one way or the other about any specific person, no judgements (FYI, I actually do have someone in mind but they're not on this board so it's academic).

I'm just curious about image perception.

I mean, you could almost say the same thing, in a way, about your car or your house, you know? Many people trade in their car just because they want a new one, not NEED a new one; many people get bigger houses in more expensive neighborhoods simply because they can afford it, not that they necessarily need more space or are moving closer to people they like.

 

[Nathan]

I want to be physically attracted to who I am with, at least in the beginning. I can't figure this one out to be honest. I'm single right now and go back and forth between wanting a gf and wanting to just have fun. I don't tend to date girls I get along with really well but am not attracted to - it feels more like a friendship. I wish I could reach some sort of happy/content/satisfied point with it all though.

 

[ksharp01]

high standards

yep, very high. lol


seriously though I think I would still have to maintain some level of attraction for this person in the long haul.
I figure that if I do what I do to maintain myself then I would expect my SO to do the same.

 

[biteme]

Assume they're clean, their clothes are clean, they brush their teeth but they've worn the same style clothes/hair forever.

If it's a chick, she's not into makeup or getting her nails done.

People can be in decent shape (like doing okay on cardiac tests and stuff) and still be overweight.

Women need to wear makeup. It makes them hotter.

 

[biteme]

Appearance doesn't mean as much to me as it once did, but it still definitely matters. Smokers, heavy drinkers, take a fucking hike. I don't care how nice they are. Gross habits I can't deal with.

 

[calveless wonder]

it's very important. but the motivations behind it are much more important.


for instance....dressing well, keeping in shape, etc are usually signs of self respect. When you let yourself go, you don't respect yourself much. Those are things you do for YOU

if you're comfortable with being overweight, you obviously don't respect your body.

If you're comfortable, with woring the same outfit from 1992 and don't want to change your hair you lack the very essence of life, which is change.

IMHO that's extremely unattractive and a simple minded mindset.

whole purpose of life is to improve yourself as much as possible. mentally, physically and emotionally

that doesn't mean that everybody who's big on taking care of themselves is not motivated by social approval (which is why i mentioned motivation is a huge aspect)...but chances are if they don't care about themselves, they won't respect themselves enough.

Someone who ONLY takes of themselves and is concerned only with vanity and lacks any internal qualities is a waste of time and has no substance.

you need a mixture both

 

[biteme]

[QUOTE=
If you're comfortable, with woring the same outfit from 1992 and don't want to change your hair you lack the very essence of life, which is change.

I will shave my head forever more. Us men have it easier there. My girl doesn't have to change her hairstyle, I like it the way it is. But, I generally agree with everything else.

 

[KillahBee]

Image (in general, not just relationships) is EXTREMELY important to me. It has to be. I didn't make the rules, I just play by em.

In a relationship, well, you're talking about 2 extremes. I don't deal with extremes. In my experience, great body/fuck gets has a shelf life of a month or 6. Then it's peace out time. A great personality, etc, with shitty body is good friend stuff.

The combo is the key.

 

[biteme]

Appearance doesn't mean as much to me as it once did, but it still definitely matters. Smokers, heavy drinkers, take a fucking hike. I don't care how nice they are. Gross habits I can't deal with.

Translation: I can't get the real hot bitches anymore, so I must adapt this attitude. LMAO. j/k.

 

[KillahBee]

And note: "image" does not necessarily imply "trying to fit in" or "adapting to people's expectations". On the contrary, I do things to intentionally throw people off balance and NOT fit their mold of how the world is "supposed" to look.

 

[biteme]

And note: "image" does not necessarily imply "trying to fit in" or "adapting to people's expectations". On the contrary, I do things to intentionally throw people off balance and NOT fit their mold of how the world is "supposed" to look.

You're my hero and model man.

 

[calveless wonder]

You're my hero and model man.

a wise man once said

"You're in my reality now,bitch"

 

[swole]

um, you better take care of yourself in every way possible or else i won't let myself be attracted to you

and your image is beyond important...you won't get any decent job dressing like a bum

and by job i mean any role in life

part of being the part is looking the part

i don't expect a chick to be a 10, i expect a chick to highlight herself in a positive light...be fit, healthy...just glow for me

 

[digimon7068]

i'll admit it. . .i like to look good. . .i'll also admit that when i approached my wife and asked her out on a date, i thought she was one of the most beautiful people i had ever seen. . .face like an angel. . .so. . .yeah. . .i'm a bit superficial. . .show me a guy that's not and i'll show you a guy that ain't gettin' laid very often. . .

but that superficial bs is certainly not what has kept my wife and together and happy for 18 years (15 married). . .neither one of us is a "beautiful" as we were 18 years ago. . .yet, for some reason i just can't seem to keep my damn hands off of her. . .she's a great wife and a fantastic mother and those things are very "sexy" to me. . .don't get me wrong, she's still beautiful. . .most of my newer friends (that haven't known her since we met) think she's like half my age. . .but she turned 40 this year (i'll be 43) and we are what we are. . .

professionally speaking, image is everything, i'm expected to look and dress a certain way. . .and i do. . .potential clients don't necessarily understand exactly what it is that i do, but they know that they need me. . .and when they walk through my door, they don't expect to find a guy wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt. . .and they don't. . .i wear suits to court and when i'm meeting with attorney's and my clients. . .when i dress casual i wear dockers, loafers, and ralph lauren polo shirts. . .period. . .

 

[velvett]

That's it!
That's it exactly.

it's very important. but the motivations behind it are much more important.


for instance....dressing well, keeping in shape, etc are usually signs of self respect. When you let yourself go, you don't respect yourself much. Those are things you do for YOU

if you're comfortable with being overweight, you obviously don't respect your body.

If you're comfortable, with woring the same outfit from 1992 and don't want to change your hair you lack the very essence of life, which is change.

IMHO that's extremely unattractive and a simple minded mindset.

whole purpose of life is to improve yourself as much as possible. mentally, physically and emotionally

that doesn't mean that everybody who's big on taking care of themselves is not motivated by social approval (which is why i mentioned motivation is a huge aspect)...but chances are if they don't care about themselves, they won't respect themselves enough.

Someone who ONLY takes of themselves and is concerned only with vanity and lacks any internal qualities is a waste of time and has no substance.

you need a mixture both

 

[heatherrae]

This may be a repost ... but something my husband was telling me this morning got me to thinking:

If you were with someone who was a real joy to be with, I mean totally easy to talk to, great in bed, no disgusting or bad habits ... BUUUUUUTT they weren't big on their appearance, i.e., never dressed nicely and/or needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds how much would that bother you?

And if the fact they didn't look like a model would really, really bother you, would you actually be able to stay with someone just because they were smoking hot to look at and always perfectly turned out, even for something like going to the grocery store, buuuuut they weren't very interesting to talk to, were a selfish asshole, pissed money away, and/or a total bore in bed?

most of the guys I've dated are average. I prefer good company. I really do. I've dated some super hotties that I've refused second dates because they were too stuck on themselves or were not very nice.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

Less and less day by day.

 

[Island Son]

This may be a repost ... but something my husband was telling me this morning got me to thinking:

If you were with someone who was a real joy to be with, I mean totally easy to talk to, great in bed, no disgusting or bad habits ... BUUUUUUTT they weren't big on their appearance, i.e., never dressed nicely and/or needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds how much would that bother you?

And if the fact they didn't look like a model would really, really bother you, would you actually be able to stay with someone just because they were smoking hot to look at and always perfectly turned out, even for something like going to the grocery store, buuuuut they weren't very interesting to talk to, were a selfish asshole, pissed money away, and/or a total bore in bed?

If you respect yourself you will a) take care of yourself because you are ambitious and understand the value of image-based psychology in networking and b) improve your mind because it's a wonderful thing.

Neither one has values I admire soooo.... I'd live alone, f*ck buddy the hottie and phone buddy the nottie.

 

[Smurfy]

um, you better take care of yourself in every way possible or else i won't let myself be attracted to you

and your image is beyond important...you won't get any decent job dressing like a bum

and by job i mean any role in life

part of being the part is looking the part

i don't expect a chick to be a 10, i expect a chick to highlight herself in a positive light...be fit, healthy...just glow for me

everyday is an interview.


words to live by.

 

[Smurfy]

how much of one's behavior or character plays a role in their image?>

 

[Nathan]

how much of one's behavior or character plays a role in their image?>

I think it's huge, especially having worked in bars. Bad reps do not help. I've not been into girls I would otherwise have been attracted to lots of times because I had heard or seen behavior I didn't find appealing.

 

[Smurfy]

I think it's huge, especially having worked in bars. Bad reps do not help. I've not been into girls I would otherwise have been attracted to lots of times because I had heard or seen behavior I didn't find appealing.

exactly.

 

[Nathan]

exactly.

It's a total bummer sometimes too when someone seems cool and is attractive but dating them seriously would cost you in terms of reputation and respect - those might be the wrong words but you know what I mean. It takes a very specific type of person who can be with someone that has that kind of rep and make it work for them - most people involved in the situation seem to be gullible or lying to themselves. So far, all I've seen happen are people lose friends by failing to adhere to bros before hos. My little bro's roomie for instance started seeing a girl with a bad rep (my bro and at least another friend had banged her) and by the end of it not one of his friends had any respect left for the guy because of the situation. Really nice kid too he just needs some self-confidence and a backbone.

 

[Smurfy]

It's a total bummer sometimes too when someone seems cool and is attractive but dating them seriously would cost you in terms of reputation and respect - those might be the wrong words but you know what I mean. It takes a very specific type of person who can be with someone that has that kind of rep and make it work for them - most people involved in the situation seem to be gullible or lying to themselves. So far, all I've seen happen are people lose friends by failing to adhere to bros before hos. My little bro's roomie for instance started seeing a girl with a bad rep (my bro and at least another friend had banged her) and by the end of it not one of his friends had any respect left for the guy because of the situation. Really nice kid too he just needs some self-confidence and a backbone.

did you just propose?

the answer is yES!

 

[the_clockwork]

hi

 

[Cutiebaby]

If just hanging around the house or what not and wearing sweats and shit clothes that is fine..But to go out to eat or shopping at the mall or some thing, they need to be dressed nice..Having 3 kids, I dont go getting into jeans and makeup daily..I am in my comfy clothes.But I respect myself and my husband enough that when we go out I look nice.
I am not that big on appearances, there is a big difference between looking nice and going over the top

 

[swole]

If just hanging around the house or what not and wearing sweats and shit clothes that is fine..But to go out to eat or shopping at the mall or some thing, they need to be dressed nice..Having 3 kids, I dont go getting into jeans and makeup daily..I am in my comfy clothes.But I respect myself and my husband enough that when we go out I look nice.
I am not that big on appearances, there is a big difference between looking nice and going over the top

i put on suave getups just for walmart

all the 19 year old moms love me!

 

[H_T_]

i'm pushing 40. i'm not running out and cultivating an emo look to get someones attention. plus, i have the timeless meathead look. i started this, btw. way back in the early 90's. shaved head, goatee, tats. i'm a classic!

 

[InquisitivePsyche]

Eh usually it doesn't matter to me but if I'm going downtown or to a nice dinner, I will dress up. I don't try to impress people all the time, however as I said, if I have to be somewhere where you need to look good, I do it. Tonight Peter and I are going downtown so I will put the effort in to look nice (about 45 minutes worth - shower, blow dry hair, make up, dress, etc).

Right now I'm heading to the mall to shop and I haven't brushed my hair, thrown it up in a pony tail, no makeup on, a white t shirt, and jeans...

I believe everyone cares somewhat.