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How does shit work now?

nangiggles

nangiggles

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So I've been off the market for like 10 fucking years so I know NOTHING about how dating, relationships ans shit work now.

How do people get to be a couple? Do guys still ask a chick if she wants to be their girlfriend or does it just freakin get implied? Are you non-exclusive until it's spelled out or is it implied after a certain amount of time?

I feel old lol
 
I was looking for a local guy who I could hook up now and then with. We've now been dating for 5 months FML. I've never successfully had a one night stand or casual sex, fuckers always end up wanting to know me better or something ;)
 
When a woman leaves one item or puts something in your dwelling she is surrendering. A silent utterance of dependency. Such as something to make the bathroom stink less.
 
It always leads to "the call". And the call leads to a visit. And then you start crying...
 
Wow, sounds dramatic. Good luck with all that.

Or maybe just choose a type that is different than the usual to avoid usual responses. Its a possibility for change, but not a guarantee.
 
*ebony* said:
Nan, what happened to your husband???

I guess I really have been gone for a while.
Click to expand...
I finally grew a pair and ended it, just could not continue, couldn't keep wasting what's left of my youth, energy and happiness. Been seeing someone else for a while now, Few hiccups but I'm actually VERY happy now.
 
Happy is good. You deserve it, time to focus on you not try to take care of everything and everyone else.
 
Good for you Nan....always good to move forward

I've been dating (but refuse to get into any relationship) and I meet men on line or through friends. Last guy I was seeing is 15 yrs younger and met him at a party. Best sex of my life, but it ended :-(
After the "messes" I've been with, I don't trust myself yet to meet good men. Still working on me anyways
 
As usual I meant to hook up with a guy and eded up dating him, FML. Never been able to have a guy not wanna be with me after sleeping with me :whatever:
 
Fuck its been since 2005 not 1905 lol
Pretty sure it hasnt changed much since 2005 except for things like technology but the principles remain the same
And there aint any of this "asking to be your boyfriend" nonsense unless you really want to be exclusive and you question whether or not he is exclusive or wants to be.
Otherwise it just happens
 
Fuck its been since 2005 not 1905 lol
Pretty sure it hasnt changed much since 2005 except for things like technology but the principles remain the same
And there aint any of this "asking to be your boyfriend" nonsense unless you really want to be exclusive and you question whether or not he is exclusive or wants to be.
Otherwise it just happens
 
-SD- said:
Fuck its been since 2005 not 1905 lol
Pretty sure it hasnt changed much since 2005 except for things like technology but the principles remain the same
And there aint any of this "asking to be your boyfriend" nonsense unless you really want to be exclusive and you question whether or not he is exclusive or wants to be.
Otherwise it just happens
Click to expand...

So do I assume we are exclusive after a while(how long?) Or do I have to literally bring it up?
 
Not officially till its on instagams and Facebook and and he's going to have to hit on side bitches only through DMs
 
nangiggles said:
So do I assume we are exclusive after a while(how long?) Or do I have to literally bring it up?
Click to expand...

Why assume when you can just directly address it with him?

I've learned that being direct with guys to be much more effective and efficient. Actually, I seem to be liked all the more for it. If his goals dont align with yours, plently of other guys out there so just be honest with him.

Do you want a relationship?
 
I've been with my wife for over five years now, but the way I see it, if you don't feel like you can openly communicate with the other person than you shouldn't be with them. Guessing games are for kids. Haha
 
*ebony* said:
Why assume when you can just directly address it with him?

I've learned that being direct with guys to be much more effective and efficient. Actually, I seem to be liked all the more for it. If his goals dont align with yours, plently of other guys out there so just be honest with him.

Do you want a relationship?
Click to expand...
Well I have 2 jobs, he has two jobs, there's only so much we can see each other and do together. When we met we were both separated but my divorce was super fast and simple, his has a pretty messed up custody battle so he's in the process still (lives alone and I checked in local clerk of courts, he filed way before meeting me).

The idea of being cataloged his girlfriend bugs me because he's still married, married men don't have girlfriends they have mistresses. Maybe I'm being too judgmental... I don't know. I would say it has a degree of seriousness, he's told me he isn't seeing anyone else but we've never talked specifically about being exclusive.

We've been dating for about 6 months, he spends nights at my house, he's met family, I've met his daughter (very young toddler). I do know that his ex doesn't know about me because he doesn't want to piss her off until the divorce is finalized so she doesn't become more of a bitch about visitation thinking about me being around. Maybe I'm being naive or overzealous not sure which if any.


/rant. Why can't shit be simple. :worried:
 
sexyMFer said:
How much time have you spent with his kid? I thought you didn't want kids.
Click to expand...

I love children, I actually work with kids, I don't want to have any of my own but don't mind at all being with someone with kids. His daughter is a sweetheart
 
I understand where you're coming from, that would be tough. You could ask him if he's thought about what he wants when everything is done. Just be careful with that little girl! I know that if I were the ex wife that I would be way more mad that my child is around another woman that I don't know than knowing that he's with someone new.
Keep in mind, I'm a guy, so some times I can be a bit dense about things. Haha
 
Pepe Le-r3 said:
I understand where you're coming from, that would be tough. You could ask him if he's thought about what he wants when everything is done. Just be careful with that little girl! I know that if I were the ex wife that I would be way more mad that my child is around another woman that I don't know than knowing that he's with someone new.
Keep in mind, I'm a guy, so some times I can be a bit dense about things. Haha
Click to expand...

Actually I told him that though I understand what he's doing I don't agree with him bringing his daughter around me without telling the mom
 
I suppose all you can do is keep that in mind if you ever see yourself having kids and if you are willing to end up in his soon to be ex-wife's shoes. Not to doom the relationship, but just gotta look out for your own future. Sorry if I'm being out of line at all.
 
sexyMFer said:
I'd take some time for myself after a divorce before jumping into another long term relationship but that's just me
Click to expand...

i'd cut a swath across the available 35 to 50 year old landscape that would make the defoliation of the rainforest look like a little environmentally-friendly landscaping...
 
Pepe Le-r3 said:
I suppose all you can do is keep that in mind if you ever see yourself having kids and if you are willing to end up in his soon to be ex-wife's shoes. Not to doom the relationship, but just gotta look out for your own future. Sorry if I'm being out of line at all.
Click to expand...
Because of my line of work I know a significant amount about child safety, development and well being, I've actually helped him a bit, I did a brief home inspection in his house so he'd know what to baby proof and how, I've helped show him how to address certain behaviors of hers, I've fed her while he cooks, watched for her while he sleeps or works from home, I've even bought her teeny tiny cute sparkly shoes LOL. I have no issues with being a secondary caregiver :D:heart:
 
digimon7068 said:
i'd cut a swath across the available 35 to 50 year old landscape that would make the defoliation of the rainforest look like a little environmentally-friendly landscaping...
Click to expand...
THIS, I wanted to be alone for a while but after so many years of no sex I was bound to go on a rampage, I just ended up dating my first potential hit and run victim LOL
 
nangiggles said:
Because of my line of work I know a significant amount about child safety, development and well being, I've actually helped him a bit, I did a brief home inspection in his house so he'd know what to baby proof and how, I've helped show him how to address certain behaviors of hers, I've fed her while he cooks, watched for her while he sleeps or works from home, I've even bought her teeny tiny cute sparkly shoes LOL. I have no issues with being a secondary caregiver :D:heart:
Click to expand...

I defintely have no doubt in your abilities as a caregiver! I'm just meaning, be careful, because if you end up starting a family with him someday but things no longer work between you two, that the same thing would likely happen with someone else caring for your kid without your knowledge. Kind of like how "mistresses" become the main woman, and think that the man won't do the same to them. I'm just trying to say these things as gently as possible.
 
That's good then! Haha, I take it you just don't want one clawing it's way out of you since you seem fine with raising his kid with him? Hopefully the ex wife isn't too bad, since she'll be your problem as well, when the time comes for him to tell her about you. Haha
 
Pepe Le-r3 said:
That's good then! Haha, I take it you just don't want one clawing it's way out of you since you seem fine with raising his kid with him? Hopefully the ex wife isn't too bad, since she'll be your problem as well, when the time comes for him to tell her about you. Haha
Click to expand...

I don't know how she'll react, she's told a relative of his that she really wishes he got a girlfriend lmao, he's practically had one for months now, not sure how sincere she is about it, maybe she thinks that if he gets a girlfriend he'll leave her and the daughter alone, what she doesnt know is that since we started seeing each other I've supported and stimulated the fact that he sees her 2-3 times more now, including overnights. ;)

I've never been a maternal person in the sense that I've never wanted to have a baby, as a child I wasn't allowed around babies by my mom, she was very overprotective and pretty much tormented me with them (with cousins and such "don't touch the baby", "be careful with the baby", "you coughed so stay away from the baby", "babies don't hold babies", etc). My older sister is exactly the same way, neither of us has kid.

On top of that in my line of work I see a lot of abused and abandoned babies so the thought of making one from scratch when there are so many in need of a loving parent saddens me. I actually got my home inspected and cleared to foster, but the two tens I was going to foster changed custody/placement. :whatever:
 
Well knowing all that now, it sounds like you were meant to end up in this little girl's life! :D
I hope you and end up together for good so that little girl keeps you in her life. I don't know what it would do to her if some day you were no longer around.
 
Pepe Le-r3 said:
Well knowing all that now, it sounds like you were meant to end up in this little girl's life! :D
I hope you and end up together for good so that little girl keeps you in her life. I don't know what it would do to her if some day you were no longer around.
Click to expand...
I don't think she's that attached to me, I only see her about once a month. Yesterday in the playground she kept running to me instead of her dad, she also took his glasses off to give them to me LOL.
 
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