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How do you supress feelings in a relationship?

  • Thread starter Thread starter alien amp pharm
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alien amp pharm

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say you start liking somebody but you've not dated long or the feelings hasn't evolved as much for the other person yet. How do you hold back what you are feeling? Do you watch what you say? How you act? What?

Do you ever let your true feelings show to the other person, or would that be a sign that they are in control?


(and before anybody calls me a sopping wet vagina, this question isn't related to me...I'm not even seeing anybody right now. Hint hint, Raina)
 
Hmmm... interesting question. Considering I have no feelings for anything other than myself, I am always on the other end of the spectrum. I find women seem to have far stronger feelings for me than I do for them. Yes... I do feel in control. I am not sure if you can supress those feelings... I say go with what is natural and hope for the best.
 
whats going on aap.. spillit
 
everytime i want to supress my feelings, i just take a bathroom break, flog the dolphin and then i'm good for a few more minutes
 
alien amp pharm said:
lol, nothing. I am just bored. I swear.
Click to expand...


you can lean on me, I promise I won't side step you :evil:
 
I'm horrible at supressing my feelings. I try and it lasts for about 2 minutes. I'm way too verbal about what's going on in my head to hold anything like that in. I've probably gotten hurt more because of it but I love that I don't feel like I have had situations in my life where I wish I'd said something. I always have and always will. No regrets. :rose:
 
boy did i mess up a relationship once cause I spoke too soon. lol

don't say things out of happiness, or confusion, or anxiousness, or anything. just wait till you're SURE.
 
alien amp pharm said:
say you start liking somebody but you've not dated long or the feelings hasn't evolved as much for the other person yet. How do you hold back what you are feeling? Do you watch what you say? How you act? What?

Do you ever let your true feelings show to the other person, or would that be a sign that they are in control?


(and before anybody calls me a sopping wet vagina, this question isn't related to me...I'm not even seeing anybody right now. Hint hint, Raina)
Click to expand...
just take a dump on their face if u feel like they are starting to suspect u like them. that will let em know
 
Last edited:
alien amp pharm said:
Do you ever let your true feelings show to the other person
Click to expand...


I think the real question is knowing if/when the other person is doing the same.


Words are useless...only actions matter.

I also think that too many folks are confused as to what "defines" a loving/romantic action vs. an action that is really just a "friendship" one.


Ex...




Taking your BF/GF/SO to the airport at 1 am.

Is that an action that defines romance or "love"??

Perhaps.....but then again, a platonic friend would probably do the same for you.


Asking about your day at work or about a presentation.


Romantic??



I dunno..most platonic or "roommate" friends would do the same...so it could be simply small talk.



Ok.....I just re-read what I typed....obviously too many hours(weeks actually) at the hospital have made me a bit rambly.....

Forget what I just said.

Move along.....nothing to see here.
 
alien amp pharm said:
say you start liking somebody but you've not dated long or the feelings hasn't evolved as much for the other person yet. How do you hold back what you are feeling? Do you watch what you say? How you act? What?

Do you ever let your true feelings show to the other person, or would that be a sign that they are in control?


(and before anybody calls me a sopping wet vagina, this question isn't related to me...I'm not even seeing anybody right now. Hint hint, Raina)
Click to expand...
Im a master at hiding my feelings, even hiding them from myself. Always have been. The harder thing for me is to SHOW my feelings. How do you go about doing THAT in a new relationship? It's difficult. I hate feelings. Wish they would go away.
 
Smurfy said:
Im a master at hiding my feelings, even hiding them from myself. Always have been. The harder thing for me is to SHOW my feelings. How do you go about doing THAT in a new relationship? It's difficult. I hate feelings. Wish they would go away.
Click to expand...


smurfy... u ever find any reason or science why peeps get depressed at nite? i remember that thread but cant search it now... but wondering.... u said it happened to u and kinda happens to me as well sometimes..

night time depression
 
tiger88 said:
smurfy... u ever find any reason or science why peeps get depressed at nite? i remember that thread but cant search it now... but wondering.... u said it happened to u and kinda happens to me as well sometimes..

night time depression
Click to expand...
still happens to me at times but it's due to life stressors. at the time it started i had a lot going on personally. plus I was on anti-depressant to quit smoking and it quite possibly MADE me depressed.

but yeah ,it still happens
 
It's funny that when people usually speak of this topic it's usually relates to expressing romantic or happy cuddly feelings.

What do you do when you have feelings of disappointment, rage or betrayal?
Do you hold it in? Tell everyone but the person that made you feel that way? Or do you just say what you feel and hpe for the best?

Is there a difference between hesitating to say "I love you" the first time and saying "I can't to hear you breath".
 
velvett said:
What do you do when you have feelings of disappointment, rage or betrayal?
Click to expand...

Jump in my car, drive 800 miles south, kick in a screen door at 5:30am, beat some dude in my girlfriend's bed, get arrested, spend 24 hours in a Mecklinburg county jail, drive home and throw her remaining crap in the garbage, go to sleep.
 
gotmilk said:
Jump in my car, drive 800 miles south, kick in a screen door at 5:30am, beat some dude in my girlfriend's bed, get arrested, spend 24 hours in a Mecklinburg county jail, drive home and throw her remaining crap in the garbage, go to sleep.
Click to expand...

But did you tell her how you felt.

:eyes:
 
velvett said:
It's funny that when people usually speak of this topic it's usually relates to expressing romantic or happy cuddly feelings.

What do you do when you have feelings of disappointment, rage or betrayal?
Do you hold it in? Tell everyone but the person that made you feel that way? Or do you just say what you feel and hpe for the best?

Is there a difference between hesitating to say "I love you" the first time and saying "I can't to hear you breath".
Click to expand...

When I feel threatened I shut down. I have been so socialized to brutality that now I can't even speak. I actually ask for a piece of paper and write notes... I can't even look at the person while they read my note.

Men find this frustrating, but I can't help it. It isn't that I am withholding my feelings to hurt or frustrate them. It is that I am too terrified to speak, even when I know with my mind that I am in no physical danger, my body doesnt know the difference. Sort of Pavlovian, I suppose.

It takes a lot for me to be angry but when I do, I usually end up crying and expressing how hurt I feel.

As for your last question... I've not been so terrified as of yet.

Got me burned because it may or may not have been returned... but I have never been sorry to express a happy feeling. Happy feelings flow from me like breath.
 
When I'm upset with people they tend to know. I get really angry and hurt as anyone does but I also suck at hanging onto those kinds of feelings and holding grudges. It's not worth the energy. I'm quick to forgive. Probably too quick.

The only time I ever edit myself at all is at work or around my parents.
 
Raina said:
When I'm upset with people they tend to know. I get really angry and hurt as anyone does but I also suck at hanging onto those kinds of feelings and holding grudges. It's not worth the energy. I'm quick to forgive. Probably too quick.

The only time I ever edit myself at all is at work or around my parents.
Click to expand...

But is it that they know you are "upset" or does that person or persons specifically know why and how??

I've noticed over the years that there is a difference, a big difference.
 
velvett said:
It's funny that when people usually speak of this topic it's usually relates to expressing romantic or happy cuddly feelings.

What do you do when you have feelings of disappointment, rage or betrayal?
Do you hold it in? Tell everyone but the person that made you feel that way? Or do you just say what you feel and hpe for the best?

Is there a difference between hesitating to say "I love you" the first time and saying "I can't to hear you breath".
Click to expand...

This thread is about love. Wonderful love.

Take your rage and betrayal elsewhere.
 
pervis ellison said:
i listen to the Cure. I hate everyone
Click to expand...


It was only yesterday
Waving arms across the street
Your white face left me blue...
How can I say all the things
I have to say to you?
Oh! all the people here
All look the same...
The little time I spend with you
We drink each other dry

Mammnnarghaassstmmetc!
Speak my language!

It was only yesterday
My eyes touched yours across the street
We cut the words
And waved goodbye
And dropped off the edge of the world
 
Of course they know why and how. When I'm mad I get pretty rational. I'm good at explaining how I feel and why I feel it even when I'm as pissed off as I can possibly be. Actually when I'm fighting with people they often get more pissed at me for being fairly calm and rational.
 
alien amp pharm said:
This thread is about love. Wonderful love.

Take your rage and betrayal elsewhere.
Click to expand...


No it's not - it's about expressing your feelings in a relationship.
Life is not all about hearts, flowers and orgasms, if you can't express what is bothering you to the person you think you love you can't express love either.

If you respect your mate you can express all sorts of emotions and have them received, shared and given back without chaos.
 
ok to comment honestly, i think romantic feelings/love/infactuation are feelings that can be very suppressed easily. I think there is a lot of fear with most people that is attached to those kinds of thoughts.

anger/violence/titty twising is very easy. if i'm pissed and dont like you? you'll know. i'll either ignore you or spit in your drink. maybe give you an indian burn.
 
I think what made me make this thread was thinking about past relationships.

I'm a compasionate person in general. I try to show people I care about that I do indeed care. This is bad for relationships though.

Even that last chick I went out with told me 1st date "I hate nice guys". If I had showed any signs of caring I would have been history.

Feelings happen regardless of how much we try to deny them....it's all about how you display and show those emotions (or lack thereof) which counts, IMO.
 
velvett said:
It's funny that when people usually speak of this topic it's usually relates to expressing romantic or happy cuddly feelings.

What do you do when you have feelings of disappointment, rage or betrayal?
Do you hold it in? Tell everyone but the person that made you feel that way? Or do you just say what you feel and hpe for the best?

Is there a difference between hesitating to say "I love you" the first time and saying "I can't to hear you breath".
Click to expand...
Yes I tend to hold that in too until it becomes overwhelming and then I unleash my rage. I dont know how to appropriately and effectively communicate my feelings.
 
velvett said:
No it's not - it's about expressing your feelings in a relationship.
Life is not all about hearts, flowers and orgasms, if you can't express what is bothering you to the person you think you love you can't express love either.

If you respect your mate you can express all sorts of emotions and have them received, shared and given back without chaos.
Click to expand...


I agree. Most couples I know are quick to say "I love you" and think they have a perfect relationship, but they can't or won't tell them what caused them to get upset when they get upset. Seems kinda strange. :worried:
 
velvett said:
No it's not - it's about expressing your feelings in a relationship.
Life is not all about hearts, flowers and orgasms, if you can't express what is bothering you to the person you think you love you can't express love either.

If you respect your mate you can express all sorts of emotions and have them received, shared and given back without chaos.
Click to expand...
However, I am totally getting so much better at this! I'm proud of my progress
 
alien amp pharm said:
I think what made me make this thread was thinking about past relationships.

I'm a compasionate person in general. I try to show people I care about that I do indeed care. This is bad for relationships though.

Even that last chick I went out with told me 1st date "I hate nice guys". If I had showed any signs of caring I would have been history.

Feelings happen regardless of how much we try to deny them....it's all about how you display and show those emotions (or lack thereof) which counts, IMO.
Click to expand...

I cant stand the I hate nice guys shit.
You want an asshole? someone dickheadish and slices you with a laso
I'll wear a wife beater and slap you round in my castle
have your face and teeth hurt, smack you down when you talk back some
for this, you cant contest me once
this is how you said you get off and have fun
so dont look at me sad cause i'll get you with the broken end of this cup.

in otherwords, I'm not violent. lol
 
big4life said:
I agree. Most couples I know are quick to say "I love you" and think they have a perfect relationship, but they can't or won't tell them what caused them to get upset when they get upset. Seems kinda strange. :worried:
Click to expand...

exactly - a woman will withhold sex and buy expensive things with "his" money or hang out woth her girlfriends that he thinks are "skanky hoes" and he will go out with his "friends" (that he hasn't hung out with since he got married) and stays out all night long with no call or vanishes all weekend long so they can punish each other instead of just expressing what is bothering them.
 
nice, mean, asshole, player ("playa" or "pimp"), psychotic, metosexual, sweetheart, rapist, pedophile...GUYS!

it doesnt matter what label you have, or what category you fit into with a girl.

Fuckin A, just be honest up front and communicate. Honesty is what gets everyone in trouble in relationships. Some can handle brutal honesty, some cant. But at least honesty takes out half the problems you WOULD have since its the root of many. And if the woman is dishonest, well i hope you believe in God, Karma, or Russian Hitmen.
in anyway, she'll get hers.
but at leat you can go to bed every night and sleep soundly knowing, above all else, you are an honest person
 
PBR said:
count to 10 before you say or respond verbally to anything....
Click to expand...
Unless ofourse there's a truck heading towards your date.
They you might want to chip in around 7 or 8.

If you have feelings for someone, then just express them. The worst that can happen is they don't respond in a similar manner. If so, then you have lost nothing. People over-analyse everything in life and when it comes to relationships it ends up as I won't call her until she calls me or I will wait for her to say it first before I do. In many cases they never do because they are thinking the same things. It just becomes a stupid game. You both end up sitting by the phone, alone, waiting for the other person to take the first step. Why wait? Life is short, so you should just go for it. Whether it is a relationship, a job or whatever -- just go for it and enjoy life.

The alternative is to just bottle up your feelings until they consume you and then just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.

:D
 
velvett said:
It's funny that when people usually speak of this topic it's usually relates to expressing romantic or happy cuddly feelings.

What do you do when you have feelings of disappointment, rage or betrayal?
Do you hold it in? Tell everyone but the person that made you feel that way? Or do you just say what you feel and hpe for the best?

Is there a difference between hesitating to say "I love you" the first time and saying "I can't to hear you breath".
Click to expand...
When expressing love or romantic feelings you are dealing with "personal exposure" : meaning your laying yourself out in the wide open. this is a very vulnerable place to be, especially for men. We (men) do not operate our daily lives from an emotional level or stand-point such as women do. Hence, when this "expression" takes place, it feels like a million dollars just slipped thru your hands....it can be frightening, but also utterly total freedom.
 
PBR said:
When expressing love or romantic feelings you are dealing with "personal exposure" : meaning your laying yourself out in the wide open. this is a very vulnerable place to be, especially for men. We (men) do not operate our daily lives from an emotional level or stand-point such as women do. Hence, when this "expression" takes place, it feels like a million dollars just slipped thru your hands....it can be frightening, but also utterly total freedom.
Click to expand...

Well, I can't disagree with that but expressing to your mate that say flirting with your best friend everytime you go and have a couples night out insults and irritates you can be equally as liberating.
:)
 
velvett said:
Well, I can't disagree with that but expressing to your mate that say flirting with your best friend everytime you go and have a couples night out insults and irritates you can be equally as liberating.
:)
Click to expand...
Yes i agree...i would be very uncomfortable around that myself. Ya know its not difficult to have a little respect for your SO...
 
PBR said:
When expressing love or romantic feelings you are dealing with "personal exposure" : meaning your laying yourself out in the wide open. this is a very vulnerable place to be, especially for men. We (men) do not operate our daily lives from an emotional level or stand-point such as women do. Hence, when this "expression" takes place, it feels like a million dollars just slipped thru your hands....it can be frightening, but also utterly total freedom.
Click to expand...

The last girl I told I had feelings for ended up not reciprocating and wanted to play that haha, you like me more than I like you game. I just said, if it's leverage you want, it's leverage you'll get because I aint playing this bullshit. I stopped talking to her and now she comes to me. I realized, I was very much the drug in her life, made her feel good because I guess that's just what I did lol, I have no reason because I just do what I do, but I completely flipped the tables when I pulled out. It was like cold turkey when I withdrew and so she had to come to me, the clinic, if she wanted some more of what I had.

If there was a pope for pimps, I'd be him.
 
ceasar989 said:
The last girl I told I had feelings for ended up not reciprocating and wanted to play that haha, you like me more than I like you game. I just said, if it's leverage you want, it's leverage you'll get because I aint playing this bullshit. I stopped talking to her and now she comes to me. I realized, I was very much the drug in her life, made her feel good because I guess that's just what I did lol, I have no reason because I just do what I do, but I completely flipped the tables when I pulled out. It was like cold turkey when I withdrew and so she had to come to me, the clinic, if she wanted some more of what I had.

If there was a pope for pimps, I'd be him.
Click to expand...

So, things are working out with the cleaning lady.
 
ceasar989 said:
The last girl I told I had feelings for ended up not reciprocating and wanted to play that haha, you like me more than I like you game. I just said, if it's leverage you want, it's leverage you'll get because I aint playing this bullshit. I stopped talking to her and now she comes to me. I realized, I was very much the drug in her life, made her feel good because I guess that's just what I did lol, I have no reason because I just do what I do, but I completely flipped the tables when I pulled out. It was like cold turkey when I withdrew and so she had to come to me, the clinic, if she wanted some more of what I had.

If there was a pope for pimps, I'd be him.
Click to expand...
Romance and relationships during courtship- is a "Dance"... the "seeker" and the "sought" and we interchange these positions at any given time...

Witty- my cleaning ladies dont speak english. damn it. well, maybe thats good. :worried:
 
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