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How do I "fail" a testosterone test ?
- Thread starter Djimbe
- Start date
needtogetaas
New member
Stay up all night drinking,show up late and answer every question with ( I rule)
Or d for multiple choice No really though if you are a die hard and really want to fail. Birth control for a week before (yup I said it),drink like a fucking fish the night before,eat as little as you can 2 days before all the way up to the test,get as little sleep as you can, and I think thats it.
Pretty much treat your body like shit add in some birth control lolol. HA become a school girl for a week.
Last edited:
Stay up all night drinking,show up late and answer every question with ( I fucking rule)
No really though if you are a die hard and really want to fail. Birth control for a week before (yup I said it),drink like a fucking fish the night before,eat as little as you can 2 days before all the way up to the test,get as little sleep as you can, and I think thats it.
Pretty much treat your body like shit add in some birth control lolol. HA become a school girl for a week.
I seriously had 1/2 the office looking over at me because I laughed my ass off so hard at this!
Love it!
needtogetaas
New member
Its true though. Treat your body like crap for a week. Just go on a binder and your test will drop.
i took one of my wifes birth control pills on accident a few years ago cause she left one on the shelf and it looked just like my lowpressor. man that shit made me feel all fuckin weird for a little while.
jonny jacked
New member
take a lot of juice. don't do any PCT. Go get tested.
aquarius21
New member
doing any anabolics will not help... especially testosterone or dianabol.
dianabol's half-life is 4-6 hours, but elimination time is 4-5 weeks.
my testosterone level was in mid range (590ng/dL) once,
and i did the same test once 7 days after taking 5mg dianabol,
and it came back 1160nd/dL.
if you do any anabolics (testosterone based) few weeks before testing, your testosterone level will probably come back elevated.
after all i have had really shitty lifestyle last year for a few months (due to working too much and sleeping 3-4 hours).
i felt like crap after a while and went for a testosterone test
and it came back hardly in normal range - totally low (350 ng/dL)
So this might be the best solution for you.
Get trashed with some alcohol few days in a row before, and sleep as less as you can, and avoid cholesterol which is neccesary for testosterone production.
That should do the job.
dianabol's half-life is 4-6 hours, but elimination time is 4-5 weeks.
my testosterone level was in mid range (590ng/dL) once,
and i did the same test once 7 days after taking 5mg dianabol,
and it came back 1160nd/dL.
if you do any anabolics (testosterone based) few weeks before testing, your testosterone level will probably come back elevated.
after all i have had really shitty lifestyle last year for a few months (due to working too much and sleeping 3-4 hours).
i felt like crap after a while and went for a testosterone test
and it came back hardly in normal range - totally low (350 ng/dL)
So this might be the best solution for you.
Get trashed with some alcohol few days in a row before, and sleep as less as you can, and avoid cholesterol which is neccesary for testosterone production.
That should do the job.
A few things will destroy test and gh levels when doing blood work...if you want to intentionally lower your test results...
1. Alcohol. Go out and get really drunk.
2. Lack of sleep. Stay out late getting really drunk.
3. Dehydration. Stay out late getting really drunk and dont drink any water that night or the next morning.
4. Avoid working out for a few days prior. Working out, specifically muscular stress, causes your body to release more test and gh.
This should get your where you need to go without taking birth control pills or beating off 9 times a day.
1. Alcohol. Go out and get really drunk.
2. Lack of sleep. Stay out late getting really drunk.
3. Dehydration. Stay out late getting really drunk and dont drink any water that night or the next morning.
4. Avoid working out for a few days prior. Working out, specifically muscular stress, causes your body to release more test and gh.
This should get your where you need to go without taking birth control pills or beating off 9 times a day.
partagus
New member
NO BEATING OFF! No SEXUAL RELEASE! Let it all build up. The more you cum, the more test you produce.
partagus
New member
exactly!!!!
needtogetaas
New member
lmao
so lets get it straight
Taking dbol for 3-4 weeks will work or wont work? I saw omega say it would and then another guy said he tried and and it did not. Maybe I just take birth control and get hammerd for 2 days. How do you all know for sure bcontrol works?
Please advise i have a expensive test coming up and I need to be low
Taking dbol for 3-4 weeks will work or wont work? I saw omega say it would and then another guy said he tried and and it did not. Maybe I just take birth control and get hammerd for 2 days. How do you all know for sure bcontrol works?
Please advise i have a expensive test coming up and I need to be low
centeroiler
New member
Okay, I am looking at the package insert for a transdermal testosterone gel. It says that the added testosterone from use of the product will be completely out of your system in approximately 72 hours from discontinuation of product. It also says that is very important to "consult with your doctor" before abruptly discontinuing use. I believe the inference here being that your endogenous testosterone levels are gonna be way low after using it.
So, I would say to use a testosterone BASE product such as Androgel, Andromen Forte, etc. for a few weeks and then discontinue use 3-5 days prior to your test. Your own test production should be sufficiently shut down and the test base out of your system giving a very low reading. You could also go on a drinking binge and don't sleep for a couple of days like others have said to be sure.
Thats my anti-anabolic advice!
Tablets: Ketoconazole tablets have been demonstrated to lower serum testosterone. Once therapy with ketoconazole has been discontinued, serum testosterone levels return to baseline values. Testosterone levels are impaired with doses of 800 mg per day and abolished by 1600 mg per day. Ketoconazole also decrease ACTH induced corticosteroid serum levels at similar high doses. The recommended dose of 200 mg - 400 mg daily should be followed closely
starts acting in 2-4 hours my doc gave to me for those white spots u get while tanning sometimes... its a skin fungus. well i have a blood test coming up and im going to use 800mg for 2 days and 1600 mg 1.5 hour before test to 2 hours and my levels should be zapped. I hope it works/
starts acting in 2-4 hours my doc gave to me for those white spots u get while tanning sometimes... its a skin fungus. well i have a blood test coming up and im going to use 800mg for 2 days and 1600 mg 1.5 hour before test to 2 hours and my levels should be zapped. I hope it works/
Correct me if I'm wrong someone, but I also remember seeing a graph that claims your testosterone levels are peaked upon rise in teh morning and decline through teh day, reaching their lowest around 2:00-3:00 in the afternoon. They then slowly rise up until bedtime.
If you have a choice, you might want to go to the lab mid-afternoon.
If you have a choice, you might want to go to the lab mid-afternoon.
needtogetaas
New member
Fail!!!!
Yeah, why are you doing this? Even if you manage to test low, they are going to have you come back in a few more weeks or more and test you again. Any good doc is going to want to test you at least 2x or more to make sure you really are suppressed for good. For the sake of arguement lets say you somehow manage to keep your levels low for each blood test for a few months and at the same time have the AAS out of your blood stream for the tests. What do you expect to gain from a HRT prescription? Its going to be probably for 200mg once every 2 weeks, or 100mg/wk. This is enough to get you to normal levels. You could have normal levels not using it at all, and your body is better off. If you try and increase the dosage you will run out and the prescription company wont renew your prescription unitl the specified date. It wont do jack for you.
needtogetaas
New member
Ya and to top it all off they will prob just give you androgel or testim cream. Both of which suck balls.
this is right too. My doc wanted to prescribe me that crap and I told her I want the injectable. She could see I was not igrorant and wrote me a script for what I wanted. Thing is, I had to suffer for over 6 months with low test before she would write the script for me! Now Im not sure what my levels are at with the 100mg/wk but I dont feel quite right. Sex drive is still low and things not working downstairs. Its only been 3 weeks though, and Im thinking the levels will build up a bit higher. Time to retest soon.
Stay away from hrt unless you have a real need.
not true, I have a few places I have been sent to that simply require you fax a blood test with drivers lisc #, dob, and fill out some forms. They send you a fedx x kit and you send back in a pre paid deal to them...They give you prices and can get gear in mail overnight. Its more of a liberal florida /cali type deal.
Hope this works... The post above about Keto is what I plpan to do 1200mg to 1600mg and drink alot/no sleep and klonapin 2mg for a few days
Hope this works... The post above about Keto is what I plpan to do 1200mg to 1600mg and drink alot/no sleep and klonapin 2mg for a few days
needtogetaas
New member
Yeah, those are the places that are getting shut down all the time. Not so sure id want my info stored there.
needto, pretty sure i took birth control once. it was either that, or X.
i was at a strip club in canada with a couple buddies hammered after winning a few hundred dollars last year.
there was this sexy russian chick with blonde hair and this raspy russian voice. she kept saying my name and ticking my chin. she went upstairs. i saw a pill on the stage and i guess i grabbed it (only remember bits and pieces, i was blacked out). buddies told me not to take the fucking pill. they told me i said, "you only live once" in a slurred voice and swallowed it.
i tried following the russian but she was upstairs and the bouncer told me to go up there. so i go all the way in the back and there is like 10 naked strippers in a room and this one tells me to get the fuck out. i tell them the bouncer let me in and i was looking for the russian, but she kept hitting me and yelling. so we left. we went out to eat and i guess i asked the waitress for 4 more large pizzas (was at 5am). i gave her my card. my buddy told me he grabbed it and said he doesn't want anything. I was completely gone now. dont remember a thing, but cousin said i threw down my wallet and said, "if i want a FUCKING PIZZA i get it. if i WANT 4, or 5 or 6 i GET them now!" and everyone was fucking looking at me. my cousin then said i cried. then in the car cousin was sleeping. i was COMPLETELY out of it. didn't feel drunk, just mind fucked. cousin said i pissed up in the air in the passenger seat of the car and kept saying "five dollars", five dollars.
he told me i pissed myself and i told him i saved both their lives by doing it. was normal in the mourning.
So what was this? birth control and alcohol? X and alcohol (unlikely).
moral of the story: never take a pill from a stripper. EVER. even when blacked out.
so as you see im against BC.
iggy
i was at a strip club in canada with a couple buddies hammered after winning a few hundred dollars last year.
there was this sexy russian chick with blonde hair and this raspy russian voice. she kept saying my name and ticking my chin. she went upstairs. i saw a pill on the stage and i guess i grabbed it (only remember bits and pieces, i was blacked out). buddies told me not to take the fucking pill. they told me i said, "you only live once" in a slurred voice and swallowed it.
i tried following the russian but she was upstairs and the bouncer told me to go up there. so i go all the way in the back and there is like 10 naked strippers in a room and this one tells me to get the fuck out. i tell them the bouncer let me in and i was looking for the russian, but she kept hitting me and yelling. so we left. we went out to eat and i guess i asked the waitress for 4 more large pizzas (was at 5am). i gave her my card. my buddy told me he grabbed it and said he doesn't want anything. I was completely gone now. dont remember a thing, but cousin said i threw down my wallet and said, "if i want a FUCKING PIZZA i get it. if i WANT 4, or 5 or 6 i GET them now!" and everyone was fucking looking at me. my cousin then said i cried. then in the car cousin was sleeping. i was COMPLETELY out of it. didn't feel drunk, just mind fucked. cousin said i pissed up in the air in the passenger seat of the car and kept saying "five dollars", five dollars.
he told me i pissed myself and i told him i saved both their lives by doing it. was normal in the mourning.
So what was this? birth control and alcohol? X and alcohol (unlikely).
moral of the story: never take a pill from a stripper. EVER. even when blacked out.
so as you see im against BC.
iggy
Djimbe
New member
Stay up all night drinking,show up late and answer every question with ( I rule)
No really though if you are a die hard and really want to fail. Birth control for a week before (yup I said it),drink like a fucking fish the night before,eat as little as you can 2 days before all the way up to the test,get as little sleep as you can, and I think thats it.
Pretty much treat your body like shit add in some birth control lolol. HA become a school girl for a week.
Umm , I know this may sound silly , but what/ how much to drink ? I never (and I mean NEVER) drink - Im about 420 lbs right now - and how many BC pills/duration ?
Djimbe
New member
Hey if you know of any I live in the 18102 zipcode !
814twEakin.com
New member
Taking birth control pills works for a fact. I took 2 ortho-tricycline the night before my blood test, my count was 43! Supposed to be between 250-1000. My doctor was like um have you ever taken testosterone before and stopped, and I was like no why and he said because I am extremely low especially for a 23 year old lol. I got put on AndroGel but need to know how to ask him to switch me to injectable. Also he is going to retest me in 6 weeks so I guess I need to take at least 1 again so he doest say what the heck is going on here lol.
perryscoon
New member
Just run a cycle and don't do any pct, do lots of cardio and drink. Don't lift anything heavy and don't sleep much. Maybe listen to some barbara strisan and watch lifetime for a week. Or masterbate to gay porn. That should make u nice and girly for your test.
needtogetaas
New member
Fuck I tell you guys everything don't I... OK OK this is a easy one.
Go buy a bottle of Dermacrine<<<<----- click the link and buy it when they have it back in stock on a few days...
Ya take the dermacrine and rub a but load of it all over your chest,back,arms,neck and upper body.. Then you go right to the tanning both and sit in that fucker for as long as you can stand it. 5-10 mins. Or if its a nice hot sunny day go right out side and spend a hour or two tanning in the sun... Tanning bed works better though...
What will happen is you will get a nice bad ass rash with in a day max. it will burn a bit and itch and it will be red.
soon as you get the rash call up the doctor and make them see you that day or the next. You walk in tell the doc hey man I was loving the androgel and how it made me feel. I love having my test levels back BUT!!!!!!!!!!! god damn check out this nasty rash this shit is giving me. Ya got anything else?????
Now this may work with androgel to. I do not know. The doc may also ask if you been in the sun? NO I LIVE IN THE DARK. have you come in contact with something new.
NO I live a structured life and I do the same thing every day.
DO not ask for the inject just ask him for something else that does not give you a rash...
The doctor will then be able to write in his little records book rhat androgel gave you a rash and now he has reason to give you the injects. you gave him a reason, you did not ask him for it and everyone goes home happy.
