How can I help my Buddy?

[riverrock]

Hello All,

My friend is living with a Thai girl in Bangkok and reading between the lines, she is making his life absolute hell. He met her through work and thought all his Christmas' had come together at once as she's very pretty and he even brought her to England with him for a few weeks, but.....

Reading between the lines in his texts, they are having awful fights, she's turned violent, is totally controlling his every move, has tried to cut him off from his family and friends, and the last time he was back you could tell he very reluctantly went to the airport. No surprise really considering what he was returning to.

Now, he's trapped as all his interests are in Bangkok, but I am worried about his physical and mental health but can't do much apart from offer moral support from here in England.

What can I do to help him see sence? He's in too deep and unable to get out of it.

 

[msam76]

Just offer your support. Not much else you can do. If you try and point out all the bad things in the relationship, he may turn his back on you. It sounds like he needs you. Sometimes it sucks, but there is really nothing you can do but offer suppport until he makes up his mind on his own. Hard thing to watch.

 

[stilleto]

be a friend-let him live his life and make his own mistakes and be there for him when he needs you. thats all.

 

[riverrock]

Well, he needs to determine and stake out arguments with his woman. Either they realize it wont work in the future the way things are going OR they end it.
He needs to 'express' his issues and hold firm to them. If he doesnt then the relationship will end.
SOOOOOOOOO, he needs to have that "COME TO JESUS" talk with the girl and tell her either we work it through or we end it. Its up to the woman to work through the problems if he is as flexible as you describe.
Either way, if working it out is his goal and hers then you should do that.
Also you should realize that your friend is marrying a Fillipino, not a well established culture sociologically.
Best for culture reasons to chaulk it up to a loss and fine an UK person and have good kids with full access and no worries.
Sounds like he should just dump the brown person

Unfortunately I'm not a Plat, so I can't bomb the shit out of you for a totally useless, unhelpful, annoying, and pointless post.

 

[2dagym]

Well, he needs to determine and stake out arguments with his woman. Either they realize it wont work in the future the way things are going OR they end it.
He needs to 'express' his issues and hold firm to them. If he doesnt then the relationship will end.
SOOOOOOOOO, he needs to have that "COME TO JESUS" talk with the girl and tell her either we work it through or we end it. Its up to the woman to work through the problems if he is as flexible as you describe.
Either way, if working it out is his goal and hers then you should do that.
Also you should realize that your friend is marrying a Fillipino, not a well established culture sociologically.
Best for culture reasons to chaulk it up to a loss and fine an UK person and have good kids with full access and no worries.
Sounds like he should just dump the brown person

Wow - racist in the house

 

[2dagym]

Unfortunately I'm not a Plat, so I can't bomb the shit out of you for a totally useless, unhelpful, annoying, and pointless post.

I can!

 

[jafo]

this is just my opinion ..from my personal experience ....and YES I have been to this country and know what I am talking about first hand



he is in a tight spot ..they ( and by they I do not mean all of them)teach there "ladies" to find a foreign man with money and break him ...they are trained on how to control a man by ruling him ...that is also why she is trying to sever contact with his family they will try to stop her from breaking him. he needs (like stated above) have the "come to Jesus talk"


he can also while he is at it fight fire with fire ....cut her money off. she will fall in line quick
hide all assets ...take her car keys (or the ones to the nice car...let her take the bus or POS)

as she slowly starts to lose control and STATUS in the eyes of her family and friends
she will try other tactics ..maybe he can get her to see that TACTICS wont work


the real truth here is this ...he needs to get out while he can ...she will not let him go
he will have to fight his way out ...the longer he takes to get to this point the harder it will be to do


if he cant or wont do this ...then all you can do other than support him offer good advice and I know it sucks watch him slowly become a shell of the person you once knew ..is nothing

 

[JayC9]

Hello All,

My friend is living with a Thai girl in Bangkok and reading between the lines, she is making his life absolute hell. He met her through work and thought all his Christmas' had come together at once as she's very pretty and he even brought her to England with him for a few weeks, but.....

Reading between the lines in his texts, they are having awful fights, she's turned violent, is totally controlling his every move, has tried to cut him off from his family and friends, and the last time he was back you could tell he very reluctantly went to the airport. No surprise really considering what he was returning to.

Now, he's trapped as all his interests are in Bangkok, but I am worried about his physical and mental health but can't do much apart from offer moral support from here in England.

What can I do to help him see sence? He's in too deep and unable to get out of it.

Need more details. How is he trapped? Has he put this property, businesses and assets in her name or did he open a company to keep ownership in his name? Often guys put everything in the name of their Thai partner as its easier, less paperwork and costs less however they are then completely reliant on that person and if anything goes wrong she can simply walk away with the lot.

Relationship wise it's up to him but if you can find out some more details (PM me) then I may be able to offer an alternative solution to any business/ownership problems he may be having.

 

[digimon7068]

be a friend-let him live his life and make his own mistakes and be there for him when he needs you. thats all.

Well yeah but, if it gets REALLY bad, I'll bet you could make someone disappear in Bangkok for like $50 US.

 

[Sassy69]

He needs to look at the things he does have control of (i.e. his assets, etc.) and just make sure to get those all set up & seperated from her or whatever. Like jafo said - there are small steps he should be able to make to gain control of the things that can screw him good if he loses them. The emotional stuff - once he is sure the financial, etc. assets are secure then he should be able to extract himself from the ties w/ her - might cost him some or whatever but just baby steps I guess...

 

[riverrock]

Need more details. How is he trapped? Has he put this property, businesses and assets in her name or did he open a company to keep ownership in his name? Often guys put everything in the name of their Thai partner as its easier, less paperwork and costs less however they are then completely reliant on that person and if anything goes wrong she can simply walk away with the lot.

Relationship wise it's up to him but if you can find out some more details (PM me) then I may be able to offer an alternative solution to any business/ownership problems he may be having.

Hi JayC9,

He teaches as an English Assistant, but I think the real problem is the payment of wages. I'm sure he has it pid into her bank account as he hasn't got one and this is where the first problem is. Secondly, she has the lease on the flat and he's the mug paying for it. I want him to just cut his loses and leave, but he's reluctant for emotional reasons mainly.

The last time I ws in Bangkok, I met a guy who was making a fortune running his own private investigators business - no wonder.

 

[Sassy69]

Hi JayC9,

He teaches as an English Assistant, but I think the real problem is the payment of wages. I'm sure he has it pid into her bank account as he hasn't got one and this is where the first problem is. Secondly, she has the lease on the flat and he's the mug paying for it. I want him to just cut his loses and leave, but he's reluctant for emotional reasons mainly.

The last time I ws in Bangkok, I met a guy who was making a fortune running his own private investigators business - no wonder.

If he's got access to her account, then he should get his money out, he shoudl have his checkes deposited in his own account - time for him to get his own account. If the lease is in her name, then he isn't liable for it, and he can make arrangements to get his own set up. Or find another Thai girl ....

It doesnt' sound like the emotional part is goign to get any better if she's treating him like that -- that's the usual MO for a control freak... that sort of relationship usually ends up w/ a restraining order..

 

[heatherrae]

I think that you need to jafo's post really closely and show him all the tell tale signs that a woman is milking you. When I lived in Miami, I met lots of women who had been "schooled" in this art and told me the things that they would do to unsuspecting men. He needs to cut his losses and come home before she gets more from him. It will only become harder and harder. This is sort of the same as abusive husbands. They make you so reliant upon them that you can't leave. They make sure you have lost all your friends/family, etc. Tell him to see what happens when he pulls the money away. He should really watch her react. maybe he will catch on and come home.

 

[JayC9]

Hi JayC9,

He teaches as an English Assistant, but I think the real problem is the payment of wages. I'm sure he has it pid into her bank account as he hasn't got one and this is where the first problem is. Secondly, she has the lease on the flat and he's the mug paying for it. I want him to just cut his loses and leave, but he's reluctant for emotional reasons mainly.

The last time I ws in Bangkok, I met a guy who was making a fortune running his own private investigators business - no wonder.

Yo RR. Foreigners can open their own bank account with most Thai banks as long as they have a Non Immigrant-B Visa or a work permit. If the school he's working at is doing everything by the book your friend should have a work permit, unfortunately many schools get around a variety of regulations by bribing officials. Non-B visas are easy enough to apply for, he must keep a minimum of Baht 400 000 in an account, that money must be transferred into his account from outside of Thailand. It sounds a bit like you can't get one without the other but rules and regulations can be flexible in Thailand if you know how to go about it the right way.

If she's playing funny buggers with the condo or threatening him then he needs to find alternative residence. He can rent a place with any entry visa and there are plenty of cheap clean condos and apartments in Bangkok. He needs to call her bluff and take control of his situation, that's up to him. If he can't figure it out then he should give me a call and I'll go through his options in more detail with him over the phone.

'Thai private eye'? Imagine that he'd get plenty of work from foreigners wanting to know what their partners were up to. While the cat's away the mice will play.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

buy your friend a bulletproof and/or scissorproof vest for his dick one way or another, cause those thai chicks are baaaaaaaaaaaaaad, baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bitches

 

[dullboy]

was she a whore?


legit question.

 

[dullboy]

dullboy had a guy that used to work for him knock up a whore from thailand. to this day he lives in denial that she was whore. he had to buy her a family a water buffalo - lol

she had the baby and he supports the child.

this guy was from maine and a little wet behind the ears. at first he was all lovey dovey, because no girl ever treated him the way that she did. now he hates her guts, because she's been totally westernized and she works him for cash all the time. resentment and living in regret sucks.

moral to the story - never have a love child with a whore.

 

[gotmilk]

stick a whole lot of weed in her backpack and place an anonymous phone call to the cops

 

[bignate73]

stick a whole lot of weed in her backpack and place an anonymous phone call to the cops

so she can party with the cops?

 

[dullboy]

stick a whole lot of weed in her backpack and place an anonymous phone call to the cops

lol - dullboy says that's a death sentence in thailand

literally.

 

[riverrock]

was she a whore?


legit question.

Well, you do often hear of stories about Western guys and their Thai "Girlfriends" who get them to send money to Bangkok on a regular basis. Many even pay their girlfirends the same money they would earn in the Bars just to stop working as Prostitutes. What does she do while he is wiring money from America, Australia, or Britain? (3 Biggest Culprit nations).....She goes off and works as a prostitute in some other town instead! When he calls to "surprise" her with visit, so is conveniently at her Mother's house, but is on her way to Bangkok! Some of them even have 2 or 3 guys sending money.

Here's a funny story. I was in Bangkok last year and couldn't resist the temptation as a single man to pick up a Bar girl while in Pattaya (Why not!!). She showed me a top of the range mobile phone (Cell-Phone) which had been given to her by some other English guy who was out on holidays. He was obviously smitten. Anyhow, the following morning the phone rang. It was this clown who gave his new "girlfriend" a phone. I was going to answer it and say "Sorry, she can't talk on the phone right now - She's sucking my cock"!!!!

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Well, you do often hear of stories about Western guys and their Thai "Girlfriends" who get them to send money to Bangkok on a regular basis. Many even pay their girlfirends the same money they would earn in the Bars just to stop working as Prostitutes. What does she do while he is wiring money from America, Australia, or Britain? (3 Biggest Culprit nations).....She goes off and works as a prostitute in some other town instead! When he calls to "surprise" her with visit, so is conveniently at her Mother's house, but is on her way to Bangkok! Some of them even have 2 or 3 guys sending money.

Here's a funny story. I was in Bangkok last year and couldn't resist the temptation as a single man to pick up a Bar girl while in Pattaya (Why not!!). She showed me a top of the range mobile phone (Cell-Phone) which had been given to her by some other English guy who was out on holidays. He was obviously smitten. Anyhow, the following morning the phone rang. It was this clown who gave his new "girlfriend" a phone. I was going to answer it and say "Sorry, she can't talk on the phone right now - She's sucking my cock"!!!!

your story now sucks.

 

[riverrock]

your story now sucks.

I couldn't do that to a fellow Brit!!! However, if it was an Aussie....I'd press the answer button and leave it at the side of the bed while I gave his GF an almighty shafting!