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Heatherrae

jack sparrow

jack sparrow

Think like Jack
Platinum
wtf kind of crap is this?

30iat1j.png
 
The Fleshlight was designed by a former police officer who was suffering a period of forced abstinence while his wife was pregnant.[2] He was granted a patent in 1998 for his invention, as a "device for discreet sperm collection".[3]
 
Anne Semans' 2004 book The Many Joys of Sex Toys includes a guide to using the Fleshlight. Semans suggests a number of techniques, including clamping the Fleshlight to a desk in order to free the hands, or adding extra stimulation by simultaneously using a butt plug, cock ring or nipple clamps. According to Semans, "it takes a few sessions with the Fleshlight to appreciate it."[9]
 
It was dusk in the rolling hills of Kentucky...mid June. There were bugs everywhere...we were playing football with an empty beer can when she caught the pass between her massive, heaving boobs right before I tackled her. It was during the sound of aluminum being crushed between those massive battleships that she professed her love for me.

:(
 
Wulfgar said:
Anne Semans' 2004 book The Many Joys of Sex Toys includes a guide to using the Fleshlight. Semans suggests a number of techniques, including clamping the Fleshlight to a desk in order to free the hands, or adding extra stimulation by simultaneously using a butt plug, cock ring or nipple clamps. According to Semans, "it takes a few sessions with the Fleshlight to appreciate it."[9]
Click to expand...
I was sold on session #1.
 
Wulfgar said:
thats what I am sayin
I followed it up with a session 2
now my FL is in the dishwasher
Click to expand...
Is it really dishwasher safe?

I wonder if Heather would survive a session in the dishwasher?
 
thats what I am sayin bro!!!

the guy finishes by nutting on his physio ball

wtf?
I think thats an unspoken rule

Dont cum in your fleshlight
 
Wulfgar said:
thats what I am sayin bro!!!

the guy finishes by nutting on his physio ball

wtf?
I think thats an unspoken rule

Dont cum in your fleshlight
Click to expand...

I was thinking of wedging it between the mattress and laying out some porn mags on the bed. It's kind of and elaborate set up, but it beats cheating women, no?
 
Cal_21 said:
This thread made me cum.


And laugh a lot.
Click to expand...
You may be laughing now, but get yourself a good hydraulic jack son...your gonna need it to get her in an out of the family mini-van.
 
Jack Schitt said:
You may be laughing now, but get yourself a good hydraulic jack son...your gonna need it to get her in an out of the family mini-van.
Click to expand...

lol no secret e-romance going on.


p.s. I'm a plumper.
 
Cal_21 said:
Done!
Click to expand...
:)
Darius is in good hands.

Thanks for the 50 bro. She likes Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Also, Oreo's, Cheeto's Dorito's Ho-Ho's, Suzy-Q's, Pop-Tarts, and anything from Dairy Queen.

Good luck, son.
 
Jack Schitt said:
:)
Darius is in good hands.

Thanks for the 50 bro. She likes Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Also, Oreo's, Cheeto's Dorito's Ho-Ho's, Suzy-Q's, Pop-Tarts, and anything from Dairy Queen.

Good luck, son.
Click to expand...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!
 
Jack Schitt said:
It was dusk in the rolling hills of Kentucky...mid June. There were bugs everywhere...we were playing football with an empty beer can when she caught the pass between her massive, heaving boobs right before I tackled her. It was during the sound of aluminum being crushed between those massive battleships that she professed her love for me.

:(
Click to expand...
:lmao:

telling our secrets?
 
Jack Schitt said:
I felt it was necessary to illustrate my point.

So, how are things with "cal"?
Click to expand...
Well, I used to be with a 50 year old before I met you, Jack. Now I decided I need two 25 year olds to keep up with me better than one 50 year old. :lmao:
 
He pisses all of his karmas away in the bookie room. Just wait...before long he'll be coming home slobbering drunk with no money.

That money you saved to send Dagwood on that field trip?

Gone.
 
Jack Schitt said:
He pisses all of his karmas away in the bookie room. Just wait...before long he'll be coming home slobbering drunk with no money.

That money you saved to send Dagwood on that field trip?

Gone.
Click to expand...
Well, we don't allow boy toys access to the checking account. I'll just make him sleep on the couch that night...lol.
 
what about 30 yr olds that look like 22 yr olds

and fuck with the energy of a 20yr old and the experience of a 50yr old?
 
Jon79 said:
what about 30 yr olds that look like 22 yr olds

and fuck with the energy of a 10yr old and the experience of a 50yr old?
Click to expand...
Your right. She should have a go with KB before all is said and done.
 
wait....before you were complaining about not having a man.

Now you get all cocky and sassy about having this or that.

check yourself woman and remember where you were.
 
Jon79 said:
what about 30 yr olds that look like 22 yr olds

and fuck with the energy of a 20yr old and the experience of a 50yr old?
Click to expand...
Yeah, if you meet one, give him my number!


:lmao:
 
Jack Schitt said:
Thank God you didn't move to Mount Washington...I would never speak to you again.
Why did you leave B-town?
Click to expand...
I work at a law firm in G-town. It's just me and the toyota peeps in this town...lol.
 
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