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Hard to make friends being married (rant)

chazk

chazk

New member
We have been married for 8 yrs and very very secure.
I am very talkative and friendly to strangers and just about everyone as long as they start the conversation. I will follow along.
Here is the dealeo. Girl in her mid twenties said hello, I said hello over a few weeks time. She would work out around me in compromising positions. I tried to ignore that part .
She asked about some machines and free weight excersizes
I showed her how to do a one arm dumbell row correct with out twisting the torso and showed her a standing bent over row at a 45 degree angle back arched shoulders at attention head looking up pulling with back moving the bar into her stomach.
her form was off on those two excersizes and she knew it thats why she asked.
When it comes to bodybuilding I am a chatter box often times and like helping people getting into it.I would have anwsered a 90yr old lady if she asked the same questions

Then Boom outta know where one day she ask me " he do you wanna go out this saturday " I told her I would love to but I am married. It got very quite.You are a awsome person if i was not attached i would love to go out with you i told her. ( i would she was so hottttt)
After that workout was over she left and never returned to the gym that was maybe 6 months ago.
I bumped into her at target ofcoarse she acted like she did not know me. I asked how her workouts were going and told her she looks great. She told me she changed gyms and works out at another gym.

I am never taking my Ipod off again to talk to anyone. Fuck it you try to make friends and this is what you get.
 
OK, sounds good. BTW, it's ok to look though, enjoy the view. I don't care if I am married, if I have a woman bent over in any position, I am looking..... :)
 
Sucks man, but you're better off. This chick could only lead to trouble. Being friends with girls who want your cock are trouble when you already have a girl. It was never going to go anywhere so just leave it at that. I'm a dork at most would have friended her myspace or facebook just in case I wanna get in touch with her if things didn't work out with whoever I was currently was with. I meet women everywhere..... except the gym. The ratio of guys to girls is always like 5-1 where the free weights are and half those chicks are attention whores who constantly give these dork-ass M-fuckers the time of day. The kind of chick I would want to talk to would dead these losers I see macking it real quick. I don't see many of them, and I don't wanna bother them while they work out anyway.
 
omega that has nothing to do with me making friends.
That is a cat and mouse game we play every now and then when we are out bar hopping Not a regluar thing
 
lartinos said:
Sucks man, but you're better off. This chick could only lead to trouble. Being friends with girls who want your cock are trouble when you already have a girl. It was never going to go anywhere so just leave it at that. I'm a dork at most would have friended her myspace or facebook just in case I wanna get in touch with her if things didn't work out with whoever I was currently was with. I meet women everywhere..... except the gym. The ratio of guys to girls is always like 5-1 where the free weights are and half those chicks are attention whores who constantly give these dork-ass M-fuckers the time of day. The kind of chick I would want to talk to would dead these losers I see macking it real quick. I don't see many of them, and I don't wanna bother them while they work out anyway.
Click to expand...

I suppose but she was a nice person bright eyes ,cute, at clean and looked great and seemed like a kind hearted girl.
I hope she finds a man that will be really good to her and for her.
True about the attention whores in the freeweights standing around doing stiff legged deadlifts all day. I am thinking turn your ass the other way I can only handle looking at you vagina for a few seconds they it gets annoying while I am trying to lift
 
You could have invited her to join you and your wife along with some other friends to do something social together. (like beer and wings at the local roadhouse, or whatever). I've been in similar situations in the past and playing it my way is a great way to sort the chaff from the wheat.

If sincere in friendship then she would have no problem meeting your wife. This of course only works if you and your wife are secure in your relationship and neither of you would 'feel' threatened by making new friends.
 
i don't see the problem.

it's not hard making friends if you're married. my husband and i have too many friends to keep up with. what you seemed to be saying is that it sucks that you can't be friends with a hot chick who you would want to bone if it wasn't for your wife. so yeah, that sucks. but i'm guessing that it wasn't her friendship you were really after anyway, so who cares.
 
The ex gf would have laid down the green fist of jealousy doom on that situation. Eventhough she gets hit on all the time :rolleyes:
 
stilleto said:
i don't see the problem.

It's not hard making friends if you're married. My husband and i have too many friends to keep up with. What you seemed to be saying is that it sucks that you can't be friends with a hot chick who you would want to bone if it wasn't for your wife. So yeah, that sucks. But i'm guessing that it wasn't her friendship you were really after anyway, so who cares.
Click to expand...

+1000000000000
 
stilleto said:
i don't see the problem.

it's not hard making friends if you're married. my husband and i have too many friends to keep up with. what you seemed to be saying is that it sucks that you can't be friends with a hot chick who you would want to bone if it wasn't for your wife. so yeah, that sucks. but i'm guessing that it wasn't her friendship you were really after anyway, so who cares.
Click to expand...

Just FYI...

Your husband falls under the same scenario you laid out.
 
chazk said:
We have been married for 8 yrs and very very secure.
I am very talkative and friendly to strangers and just about everyone as long as they start the conversation. I will follow along.
Here is the dealeo. Girl in her mid twenties said hello, I said hello over a few weeks time. She would work out around me in compromising positions. I tried to ignore that part .
She asked about some machines and free weight excersizes
I showed her how to do a one arm dumbell row correct with out twisting the torso and showed her a standing bent over row at a 45 degree angle back arched shoulders at attention head looking up pulling with back moving the bar into her stomach.
her form was off on those two excersizes and she knew it thats why she asked.
When it comes to bodybuilding I am a chatter box often times and like helping people getting into it.I would have anwsered a 90yr old lady if she asked the same questions

Then Boom outta know where one day she ask me " he do you wanna go out this saturday " I told her I would love to but I am married. It got very quite.You are a awsome person if i was not attached i would love to go out with you i told her. ( i would she was so hottttt)
After that workout was over she left and never returned to the gym that was maybe 6 months ago.
I bumped into her at target ofcoarse she acted like she did not know me. I asked how her workouts were going and told her she looks great. She told me she changed gyms and works out at another gym.

I am never taking my Ipod off again to talk to anyone. Fuck it you try to make friends and this is what you get.
Click to expand...

Did you really want make "friends" with here or were you just flattered that she wanted your time?
 
Here is how I make friends - being married.

My wife finds various women she likes to hang around with, she tells me I can now go play with their husbands - those are my new friends. I have been married for 22 yrs so this is working pretty good.

I have friends that I work with mostly male but female as well but they are not close have over for dinner/drinks type friends.

Old drinking buddies - thing of the past.
 
billfred said:
Here is how I make friends - being married.

My wife finds various women she likes to hang around with, she tells me I can now go play with their husbands - those are my new friends. I have been married for 22 yrs so this is working pretty good.

I have friends that I work with mostly male but female as well but they are not close have over for dinner/drinks type friends.

Old drinking buddies - thing of the past.
Click to expand...

He's not really worried about making friends. He's just lamenting that hot chicks keep their distance because he's married.
 
I don't think that it is the wedding ring that scares women away from me...

Maybe it's my accent...
 
when i hit the gym i NEVER take off my IPOD EVER.... im sorry if thats rude but im not there to be social. i get in my own little world and do what i have to do and leave.
 
chazk said:
I suppose but she was a nice person bright eyes ,cute, at clean and looked great and seemed like a kind hearted girl.
I hope she finds a man that will be really good to her and for her.
True about the attention whores in the freeweights standing around doing stiff legged deadlifts all day. I am thinking turn your ass the other way I can only handle looking at you vagina for a few seconds they it gets annoying while I am trying to lift
Click to expand...

getting erections in public isn't fun either when you're trying to work out! lol
 
What Stiletto and Nef said +1.

My husband used to swing BIGTIME, we are talking for the last 20 some-odd years. Hell he even married a woman AND her girlfriend (though legally only one woman's name was on the license - BOTH were in the bed and relationship.) I don't and I told him that from the word JUMP.

We've been married two years now and our relationship has been an evolution (as all relationships should be if they are to grow). My husband, like you is very charming and charismatic, can't keep his mouth shut to save his life <--- one of the features that attracted me to him so there would be something bigtime wrong with me if I expected him to change this. We can't even go to the damned grocery store without at least 2 women (usually young and attractive) up in his business giggling uncontrollably. We used to have a gaggle of these young women all up in OUR business until finally I said to my husband, "Baby, are WE REALLY going to be FRIENDS with these women?" I mean... REALLY? We have ZERO in common with them and even though they are drawn to you (us but I would never be the one to start conversations, he is) is the friendship REALLY going to be sustained past their initial fascination because we are so peculiar?

Finally after the whole "strange dumb couthless ho wandering through our house unattended leaving her drink on the inside ledge of my bathtub" incident he realized what I was saying. (This woman was the friend of a friend of "ours".)

Billfred is 100% on the money.

Your response to this woman in the gym was 100% inappropriate. I would NEVER EVER say to a man who said he wanted to be "my friend" (Yes I would love to be involved with you but I am married.) ...as we all know that single adults don't become "friends" with other single adults unless 99% of the time there is the hope of sex at some point down the line.

You have to learn when to turn your *third party hunting charm* off and turn your *happily married man* self ON. It will save you a world of problems. You are hot. You are loved. Leave the single hotties to every other man. :)
 
stilleto said:
i don't see the problem.

it's not hard making friends if you're married. my husband and i have too many friends to keep up with. what you seemed to be saying is that it sucks that you can't be friends with a hot chick who you would want to bone if it wasn't for your wife. so yeah, that sucks. but i'm guessing that it wasn't her friendship you were really after anyway, so who cares.
Click to expand...

Not after sex , could careless to bone her.
I really wanted to help her physic and give any weightraining advice that could help.
She was young and following some cookie cutter routines from womens health. I was helping her put the finishing touches
like nice rear delts and calves to her physic by pushing her towards those excersizes and showing her how to focus and contract the muscle while working out.
I would have thought of her strictly and a gym buddy that wanted to work out. Would i like to have sex with her
? every guy would like to have sex with this girl so that is not even relavant.
I cant work out with to many people guys want to talk and try to bost their ego by going heavey with sloppy form.
She used good form when i corrected her, talked very little and was serious about her diet and working out. I was starting to think of her as one of the guy.
 
velvett said:
Did you really want make "friends" with here or were you just flattered that she wanted your time?
Click to expand...

really wanted friendship . It was nice to show up at a certian time and have her there to train with.unlike most people that are late or never show up.

We trained for about 2 weeks together on her weightlifting days so maybe a total of 6 times.
She was so cool almost like a little sister or something.
I would have liked it better if she was not attracted to me. this way we could have just worked out together untill she got the ropes down and then i would have eventually turned her loose on her own to work out and watch the young bird fly
I like helping out newbies
when i was young a guy took me under his wing made a effort to help me learn how to do squats,deads all the other lifts with good form. Somehow i feel like I should do the same for others
to keep the kindness part of bodybuilding alive and helping others
 
BIKINIMOM said:
What Stiletto and Nef said +1.

My husband used to swing BIGTIME, we are talking for the last 20 some-odd years. Hell he even married a woman AND her girlfriend (though legally only one woman's name was on the license - BOTH were in the bed and relationship.) I don't and I told him that from the word JUMP.

We've been married two years now and our relationship has been an evolution (as all relationships should be if they are to grow). My husband, like you is very charming and charismatic, can't keep his mouth shut to save his life <--- one of the features that attracted me to him so there would be something bigtime wrong with me if I expected him to change this. We can't even go to the damned grocery store without at least 2 women (usually young and attractive) up in his business giggling uncontrollably. We used to have a gaggle of these young women all up in OUR business until finally I said to my husband, "Baby, are WE REALLY going to be FRIENDS with these women?" I mean... REALLY? We have ZERO in common with them and even though they are drawn to you (us but I would never be the one to start conversations, he is) is the friendship REALLY going to be sustained past their initial fascination because we are so peculiar?

Finally after the whole "strange dumb couthless ho wandering through our house unattended leaving her drink on the inside ledge of my bathtub" incident he realized what I was saying. (This woman was the friend of a friend of "ours".)

Billfred is 100% on the money.

Your response to this woman in the gym was 100% inappropriate. I would NEVER EVER say to a man who said he wanted to be "my friend" (Yes I would love to be involved with you but I am married.) ...as we all know that single adults don't become "friends" with other single adults unless 99% of the time there is the hope of sex at some point down the line.

You have to learn when to turn your *third party hunting charm* off and turn your *happily married man* self ON. It will save you a world of problems. You are hot. You are loved. Leave the single hotties to every other man. :)
Click to expand...

I guess i just said what was on my mind what I was thinking of i was not married.
She asked me to go to party on saturdaynight . I suspected she wanted more then just friendship she was starting to get very touchy such as grabbing my should or arm as she spoke .She started to wear makeup to the gym and bought new gym workout clothes the last few days leading up to this.

You are right i am loved by my wife . I will just keep the IPOD on and ignore the girls so they think I am a asshole or full of myself if that what it takes.Even though I am a nice guy , i'll have to keep it surpressed


It would have been nice if she would have met my wife and they hit it off. She was a cute mousey little thing and not my wifes type at all.
 
Does not matter if the friend is male of female.
I guess I just want to train with someone that shows up gives full effort and does not talk shit and used good form.
She met all the requirments and was not bad on the eyes.

I have trained for prob the last 4 years alone and it was kinda nice .Do not know why she gravitated towards me of all the people in the gym she could have buddied up with , yea guess I was kinda flatured she picked me instead one of the other boneheads LOL
 
Wtf, you're all too serious. Especially the females.

Chaz is frustrated because he was flattered and enjoyed the attention of a hot single girl. Physically, he wanted to nail her. Nothing wrong with that. lol.

Bro I've had that feeling before. Just go and take your frustrations out on the Mrs. Preferably from behind ;-)
 
Frustrating that you would just like to talk to ANYONE in the gym who was actually looking for help and not anabolics or sex.
 
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