Just got this today - an old repeat but timely:
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
> station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a
> worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue,
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
>
> Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
> lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> realize it's not so bad after all .
>
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
> few technicalities of my job.
>
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
> office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So
> what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
> heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
> heats it to a delightful temperature.
>
> It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
> to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
> several times with no complaints.
>
> What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
> and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with
> warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
> the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
>
> The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
> suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
> stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
>
> When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
> divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
> agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before
> I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
> arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>
> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
> down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
> as soon as I got in the chamber.
>
> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
> butt was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
> it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
> Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
> day?
>
> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
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