Gross subject, but a serious question.

[frorider6]

Where does the actual absorbtion of nutrients take place? Upper intestines or lower intestines? Would it help protein absorbtion to regularly clear them out? Maybe a super dose of Ex-Lax every other week? Or (god forbid) an enema? Or for super cleanliness, a colonic?

 

[Lao Tzu]

enemas are fun. but they only clean the large intestines (i'm pretty sure).

 

[frorider6]

enemas are fun. but they only clean the large intestines (i'm pretty sure).

Right. So where does the majority of nutrient absorbtion take place? I'd think upper. Should I just swallow a toilet cleaning brush?

 

[danielson]

small intestine. large is just water retrieval me thinks

 

[Lao Tzu]

http://www.gastro.org/public/yourdigest.html

small intestines apparently. i'm not a dietitian (i think pink223 is) but apparently some enzymes which are made in the pancreas & stomach can aid protein absorbtion

 

[WODIN]

Absorption occurs in the small intestin. If you want to help increase this then start taking Acidohpolus to increase your intestinal flora of bacteria that help with absorption.

Also consider doing a vegan or mostly veggies & fruits routine for a period of 2-4 weeks each year to help flush you out. You can relax though in knowing that a person your age has on avg TWELVE to EIGHTEEN POUNDS of undigested raw meet in your colon!

I'm going to go throw up now.

 

[frorider6]

Also consider doing a vegan or mostly veggies & fruits routine for a period of 2-4 weeks each year to help flush you out. You can relax though in knowing that a person your age has on avg TWELVE to EIGHTEEN POUNDS of undigested raw meet in your colon!

Well, that's kinda what got me wondering about this. I wonder how much of my bodyweight is just undigested food sticking to the walls of my gastrointestinal tract. Exactly, how full of shit am I? And how can I scrape it out? Maybe a pipe snake like you use for a clogged up toilet, only run it up the pipe instead of down it.

 

[WODIN]

Well, that's kinda what got me wondering about this. I wonder how much of my bodyweight is just undigested food sticking to the walls of my gastrointestinal tract. Exactly, how full of shit am I? And how can I scrape it out? Maybe a pipe snake like you use for a clogged up toilet, only run it up the pipe instead of down it.

Use the Acidophilus ...

I do this ever year. Sometimes TWICE just because I love having those spastic blast of gas and super turds coming from my innards!

The first time I did this was about 9 years ago. I had tears running down my face after the third day because my sphincter was worn thin. I actually dreaded even the slightest notion of having to go to the bathroom. I would suffer cramps until those were worse than the sphincter pain!

Now I look forward to it with a hardy "HI HO!" it's off to the head I go! Much Like a french Canadian trapper look forward to the first catch of spring!

 

[growin']

WODIN you cracked me up so f*ckin' hard, I almost shit myself. The trapper reference took the cake.

 

[the nature boy]

I'm a little dissapointed. I was expecting this thread to much much more gross.

 

[frorider6]

Okay, so the Acidophilus empties out your guts? How much weight do you generally lose after a couple days of intestine scraping?

 

[supersizeme]

There's an article in this month's maxim about how Hollywood folk frequently go get water shot up their asses until the butt can take no more water, and then it's all sucked back out along with feces upon feces upon feces. It's for cleansing purposes obviously, but in all seriousness you don't need to get this done. The body does it naturally. In fact going to get these enemas really isn't that good for you because dilating the rectum like that will end up causing loss of rectal strength down there after a while. Rectal strength, something we should all be concerned about. Stick a finger up there twice a day and squeeze to failure for 6-8 solid reps and everything should be ok.

 

[frorider6]

SSMe - The garden hose up the butt is called a colonic. It's also a shitload of fun, from what I hear.

 

[the nature boy]

Okay, so the Acidophilus empties out your guts? How much weight do you generally lose after a couple days of intestine scraping?

I've seen products that supposedly make you shit like pounds of crap stored in your intestines over a 2 day period.

 

[frorider6]

I've seen products that supposedly make you shit like pounds of crap stored in your intestines over a 2 day period.

Are we supposed to start guessing now or are you going to tell us?

 

[supersizeme]

Yeah I couldn't come up with that word. Thank you. I had a lower GI done when I was about 8 years old cuz my family thought I may have some intestinal problems. They stuck a tube up my pooper and shot gallon after gallon of liquid barium in me so that my insides would show up on the x-ray. By far the most disturbing experience of my life. It was at that very moment that I knew I could never lay with a man. I remember having to hold all of that barium inside me for like 15 minutes while they took Kodak family pics of my intestine. The slide show we had later was a grand time. I would rather hold a bar loaded with 5 plates a side in the midpoint of a dead lift rep for several minutes than ever hold that much fluid in me. I remember finally being sent to the bathroom, at which point I sat on the toilet and it was like that scene from Dumb and Dumber, or even the one from American pie when Finch gets the laxative. My mom was even in the bathroom with me at the time. lol. Strong woman. wow. glad to share this with all of you.

 

[the nature boy]

Are we supposed to start guessing now or are you going to tell us?

no I don't remember what the product was called. A year and half ago when I visited EF from time to time I recall a thread about the product. However searching the archives of EF is no longer an option? WTF? Cost cutting?

 

[frorider6]

SSMe - At least you were only 8. You've had plenty ot time to get over it. Plus, it was only an X-Ray machine.

I had to have a camera shoved up my butt when I was 24 for a lower gi inspection. Which meant I had to give myself an enema the night before. AND when I had the doctors camcorder up my butt (an old VHS style one, complete with microphone) people were coming and going from the room like the damn vending machine was in there. Trauma.

 

[saint808]

Once a month or two take some castor oil and get a camera because you will be amazed at what kind of stuff comes out.

 

[the nature boy]

Since I'm an internet genius and I have time on my hands I searched the web and found the site I was talking about.

Do me a favor and check out the testimonials. You'll laugh your colon off.

http://www.colonblow.com/

 

[frorider6]

Since I'm an internet genius and I have time on my hands I searched the web and found the site I was talking about.

Do me a favor and check out the testimonials. You'll laugh your colon off.

http://www.colonblow.com/

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!

Actual testimonial

"My name is [RC], I'm 23 years old and a senior at the University of
Massachusetts at Dartmouth. I first learned of your product in an issue of
Maxin Magazine. Being the mature college man that I am I just had to try it.
So I went online and ordered your product. I checked my mailbox everyday for
your package. The thing you have to understand is I probably check my mailbox
once every two months, but here I was checking everyday. Five long and
miserable days I waited until "it" finally arrived. I haven't been this
excited since I lost my virginity at 17. Colonblow, Colonblow, Colonblow I
chanted up and down the dorm halls till I got to my suite. I couldn't wait to
get started so I waited until 5pm like you suggested and have "it" for dinner.
I had made a commitment that I was going to be "aggressive" and not eat for 24
hours. I did however have a couple of Miller Lite's (I'm 23, you kind of have
to expect that). I went about 23 hours and nothing was happening, my 6
roommates were starting to be skeptical and so was I. "Was I getting ripped
off?" I thought to myself. Then 20 minutes later, like the comet that
destroyed the dinosaurs a wave hit me like never before. "It was time!!!". I
called to my roommates to get the camera ready and take positions. I grabbed
hold of my knees and released the unthinkable. I looked like something out of
a Stephen King novel. "This can't be real". Oh I realized how real it was as I
was in the bathroom 3 more times that hour. There must have been about 6-8
feet worth of unholy fecel pie. When you said it might look like rope you
weren't kidding. It was a mixture of slime, feces, and bubbles (yes that's
right bubbles, my poop had slime bubbles about the size of dimes, and I have
the pictures to prove it). Now I wear my Colonblow T-shirt with pride. I had
it on in class today and at the bar last night. Everybody wants to know what
it is, and I give them the low down. So, if your interested send me some
t-shirts and i will make sure the word gets out about my new favorite product.

Your Poop Pal,
[RC] "

 

[the nature boy]

I love that one!!! Too funny. Sounds like something HS would say. Bubbles!!

 

[starfish]

Colon Hydrotherapy.....

Works great






No, it's not gross.. Gross is leaving all that stuff inside.

 

[cm3504jm]

Acidophilus........

I take this stuff every other day and let me tell you without a doubt, you will have the best, most satisfying, perfect textured dump each and every morning!

It is almost a religious experience at 7 am....

Take your acidophilus!

 

[Island Son]

Absorption occurs in the small intestin. If you want to help increase this then start taking Acidohpolus to increase your intestinal flora of bacteria that help with absorption.

Also consider doing a vegan or mostly veggies & fruits routine for a period of 2-4 weeks each year to help flush you out. You can relax though in knowing that a person your age has on avg TWELVE to EIGHTEEN POUNDS of undigested raw meet in your colon!

I'm going to go throw up now.

is this why vegetarians taste better?

 

[Lestat]

Where does the actual absorbtion of nutrients take place? Upper intestines or lower intestines? Would it help protein absorbtion to regularly clear them out? Maybe a super dose of Ex-Lax every other week? Or (god forbid) an enema? Or for super cleanliness, a colonic?

small intenstine