Got punched tonight by my ex!!!

[lil'tangerine]

So I was all finished work for the night and my boss came in for a drink with his best friend...whom I was involved with over a year ago. We'll just say it was a shiity situation (mostly for me) but I was smart enough to put an end to it. I see him (boss's best friend) occasionally and thing are civil. I posted a while back about my crazy ex calling me like a week after my boyfriend left town. Anyhow, I sit to have a quick beer before heading out and we barely even speak...I guess he was in one of his moods. So we're all sitting around chatting and he's joking that he's gonna stab me with a fork he has handy. Ha ha ha he's kidding right! Apparently not! We took all sharp objects away from him so he punched me in the leg... I kinda laughed at first cuz it hurt but whatever I'm tough enough right! So he leans in a drives me in the arm! It hurt so bad...and my feelings were hurt as well. I just got up and ran out bawling my eyes out! What an asshole! He may have been joking ariound and not realized he hit me so hard, but the look on his face was such satisfaction! I dunno why I didn't stand up and drive him in the teeth! I was in such shock! I could see if I had made some rude comment to antagonize him or something, but what a fucking DICK! Thought I was smart ending it, but apparently it ain't over! This guy is afucking LOON! It doesn't matter what our situation was he had NO RIGHT to do that! I am so losing it still! I dunno what to do about it! My bf is so far away and is gonna SNAP when he hears what happened! I dunno if I should even tell him...would you wanna know if you were so far away there wasn't much you could do about it?

 

[starfish]

Been there done that.... never again... ever

 

[Deus Ex Machina]

You should have pressed charges. He assualted you. Do you have any bruises or marks?

And don't get all emotional when telling your boyfriend, because you're going to make him pissed off, and he might do something dumb.

If you're actually SERIOUS about this situation, the first people you need to call are the police.

If you're not serious, then just sit there telling everyone and getting him/her emotional over the situation.

 

[rpol]

Where's your boyfriend Hun, and yes I would Snap if somebody hurt my girlfriend in any manner.You leaving,crying should have put a major damper on him if the guys that were with him were any type of real men at all.If it didn't they're not worth much either.Stay away and stay safe lady,restraining order might be in order if he comes around anymore.Just don't let him hurt you again.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

let the boyfriend sort him out.....

 

[biteme]

You should have pressed charges. He assualted you. Do you have any bruises or marks?

And don't get all emotional when telling your boyfriend, because you're going to make him pissed off, and he might do something dumb.

If you're actually SERIOUS about this situation, the first people you need to call are the police.

If you're not serious, then just sit there telling everyone and getting him/her emotional over the situation.

Yes, press charges. If he threatens you, call me. I can't stand violent bullies. There will be no charge. Do not be intimidated. Bullies thrive off of that.

 

[b fold the truth]

I think that you need to put an end to THAT relationship ASAP. Once you do something BIG about it...you can complain about things.

I'd call the police if it were me.

Shortly after Nefi and I met, a guy was in her apartment threatening to punch her. BAD idea. She called me and I called the police. Police were there before I was and he went to jail for a few hours. She didn't press charges even though she is the daughter of a Greek Ambassador (he had no clue) and there were cameras in the house to prove what he was denying.

He came back that night...and we both made sure he was out of the house. We called the police again.

Don't let yourself get run over. People who continue to let themselves get run over by the samer person over and over, make me wonder if there is more to the story than is being told.

B True

 

[RADAR]

Good avice C, I agree Hopefully theres a bruise so you can press charges! Even if theres not you have witnesses!

RADAR

 

[big_bad_buff]

 

[Smurfy]

some people are complete assholes. I'm sorry you had to go through that Lil, that really sucks. If i was there I would have thrown something at him after giving him a verbal asswhipping. I broke a guy's nose once. Guys like that really get my blood boiling.

 

[Optimus B]

I think that you need to put an end to THAT relationship ASAP. Once you do something BIG about it...you can complain about things.

I'd call the police if it were me.

Shortly after Nefi and I met, a guy was in her apartment threatening to punch her. BAD idea. She called me and I called the police. Police were there before I was and he went to jail for a few hours. She didn't press charges even though she is the daughter of a Greek Ambassador (he had no clue) and there were cameras in the house to prove what he was denying.

He came back that night...and we both made sure he was out of the house. We called the police again.

Don't let yourself get run over. People who continue to let themselves get run over by the samer person over and over, make me wonder if there is more to the story than is being told.

B True

B fold's a smart guy. heed this advice.

 

[onebigab]

B fold's a smart guy. heed this advice.

I'll second this one.

 

[danielson]

call the police if you think it was such a big thing. If you honestly think it was that aggressive and (forgive my frankness) it wasn't female over-emotion, do you honestly think he was playing around and forgot his stength or was he out to hurt you. if he was, call the police. don;t make ur boyfriend end up being the guy arrested

and if your boss threatens anything, then u could threaten action against him legally for unfair dismissal. though this is perhaps a warning not to get involved with friends of the boss in the future

 

[bran987]

That's Battery!! And you don't have to take it!!!

 

[jerkbox]

sounds like grounds for assault charges to me...he punched you and you have witnesses.


had i seen some shit like that, i woulda laid him out for ya. he deserves a good beating.

 

[manny78]

Too long to read for me, but what were you doing with your ex ?

 

[lil'tangerine]

Thanks everyone for your advice....dunno about pressing charges yet. I do have a bruise on my arm and it hurts like hell. Need to spend the day thinking about it. Also need to talk to my bf again now that I've calmed down a bit. He freaked when I told him what happened, but it was 4 in the morning and I was pretty upset.

I'm kind of surprised that the guys that were there didn't do anything about it, just called him an asshole.

Manny, I wasn't with my ex...I was at work and he showed up with my boss. Didn't think it was a big deal or that anything like that would ever happen! Everything was fine we were all joking around. I wasn't even talking to him really.

 

[jerkbox]

I'm kind of surprised that the guys that were there didn't do anything about it, just called him an asshole.

that is really disappointing

 

[p0ink]

Thanks everyone for your advice....dunno about pressing charges yet. I do have a bruise on my arm and it hurts like hell. Need to spend the day thinking about it. Also need to talk to my bf again now that I've calmed down a bit. He freaked when I told him what happened, but it was 4 in the morning and I was pretty upset.

I'm kind of surprised that the guys that were there didn't do anything about it, just called him an asshole.

Manny, I wasn't with my ex...I was at work and he showed up with my boss. Didn't think it was a big deal or that anything like that would ever happen! Everything was fine we were all joking around. I wasn't even talking to him really.

umm...hello? he assualted you. why wouldnt you call the cops? because you dont want to be 'mean'? give me a break. don't play the role of the victim; be proactive and do something about it.

oh yeah, sounds like you hang out with some bitch ass guys. i would get new guy friends immediately

 

[AAP]

invite me out with you next time, I will fix his shit.

 

[WODIN]

Thanks everyone for your advice....dunno about pressing charges yet. I do have a bruise on my arm and it hurts like hell. Need to spend the day thinking about it. Also need to talk to my bf again now that I've calmed down a bit. He freaked when I told him what happened, but it was 4 in the morning and I was pretty upset.

I'm kind of surprised that the guys that were there didn't do anything about it, just called him an asshole.

Manny, I wasn't with my ex...I was at work and he showed up with my boss. Didn't think it was a big deal or that anything like that would ever happen! Everything was fine we were all joking around. I wasn't even talking to him really.

If you don't call the cops and press charges then you're and idiot.

 

[Dial_tone]

I keep tryin to rationalize how people get to be that stupid but I never come up with anything.

 

[tripleblonde]

Also need to talk to my bf again now that I've calmed down a bit. He freaked when I told him what happened, but it was 4 in the morning and I was pretty upset.

if you want "justice" or whatever that means press charges or else i get the feeling your boyfriend is gonna take matters into his own hands and while this guy deserves to get the shit kicked out of him for hitting a girl, your boyfriend doesn't need assault charges of his own.....just be careful and i'm sorry that happened to you, i've never had a guy hit me in my life and i don't know what i would do if it happened, i had one grab my shoulder roughly and try and stop me from leaving and that was enough to know forever that no matter how much we wanna tout equality between woman and men, there will always be a line there that just should not be crossed....ever.

 

[EnderJE]

Wow. I can't believe that people would do that. Especially one who had some feelings for you at one time. Sure, I've had my share of shitty girlfriends who slept with other friends, stole money, etc. But, I never thought of hitting them.

BTW, I'm with the "call the police" crowd.

 

[p0ink]

if her boyfriend does some shit after the fact, that is most likely going to lead to some legal trouble for him (the boyfriend).

now, if he, or one of her spineless, bitch ass, punk guy friends, would have done something that very moment in 'defense', most likely he there wouldnt be any legal problems.

then again, i'm not a lawyer, so i dont know.

 

[Dial_tone]

If you don't call the cops and press charges then you're and idiot.

that would be "an idiot".

 

[rpol]

I'm kind of surprised that the guys that were there didn't do anything about it, just called him an asshole.

I would have put a damper on his bullshit real quick, like I said they aren't worth much as men if they let him hit a woman in front of them.

 

[p0ink]

rpol, how long were you a ranger for?

 

[BonerBoy]

If you don't call the cops and press charges then you're and idiot.

 

[AAP]

dudes will try this shit until they run into someone that won't put up with it.

invite someone like me out with you next time and see how different his attitude is.

women make such easy targets for jerks, but then again they often don't do anything to rectify the situation when the need arises. I would press charges.

 

[Longhorn85]

I'd definitely press charges and/or sue. I'd also let the boss know that he needs to cooperate in this or he is basically an accomplice/enabler. I would get a new job.

 

[jenscats5]

Sorry that happened to you. Behavior like that is unacceptable. And your boss should not have allowed that situation to happen. Can that count as hostile work environment??

Anyway, at least take pictures of your marks for proof in the event that it takes a while for the charges, etc......But around here you can just hop down to the police station & file a warrant pretty quickly.....

He did assault you and you are not expected to tolerate that....

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

...so what happened, did you press charges or what?

 

[Razorguns]

if you dated girls instead of guys, you wouldn't have this problem! Guys suck!!

 

[Pamela]

No guy should hit a women or girl..

Call the police..

 

[Werd]

"I could see if I had made some rude comment to antagonize him or something,... "

Is it just me, or does anyone else see something wrong with this comment?

I don't care if you called his mother a dirty crack whore that still does not give anyone the right to EVER EVER EVER put their hands on you!!! What if the situation were reversed? Just because you are physically smaller and are no real threat to a man, would that give you the right to hit him if he SAID something to "provoke" you?

NO.

Sweetness, no one knows better than me just how hard it is to end an abusive relationship.

Bfold, the only thing that is not being told in a story where someone continually allows themselves to be run over is just how that person was broken down again and again as a child. THAT IS THE ONLY STORY THAT MATTERS.... THAT IS THE ONE THAT PEOPLE RARELY EVER HEAR.

Guilt and Shame.... a heavy burden to bear, will most definitely cause an individual to allow others to walk all over them again and again and again.

If you do not go to the police and at least TRY to press charges you will have allowed that asshole to assault you TWICE - first physically with the punches, then emotionally because you did not stand up for yourself. Your boyfriend can not fix this for you. YOU MUST LEARN TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

Bfold - I don't have anyone that is as big and strong as you (or even close) to protect me or my kids. Don't be so quick to pass judgement on another woman who is not afforded that luxury. Read her story. There were other men present and THEY DID NOTHING... what was she supposed to do? She already felt violated by the punches. Just how much more humiliated and violated did you think she felt when men that were present (no security camera needed - there were live witnesses) DID ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY NOTHING?

I do agree that you need to get yourself some new friends though.

I had friends like those that you mentioned in your story once.... Getting rid of those sorry pathetic "friends" was one of THE BEST things that ever happened to me. Shoot, with "friends" like that, I sure didn't need any enemies! LOL

 

[WalkingBeast]

"911 emergency. What the fuck is this all about?"

 

[bodytemple75]

Go to the police. A man should not hit a woman. As men, we all know we are physically made a lot stronger, and what we are capable of, if should hit a woman. We could do a lot of harm on a womans fragile body. I would reccommend to go ASAP to the police, and press charges on that asshole. Put an assault charge, and get a restraining order on his ass. Let's see how well he like that.

That is just not right....

 

[danielson]

I'm kind of surprised that the guys that were there didn't do anything about it, just called him an asshole.

Manny, I wasn't with my ex...I was at work and he showed up with my boss. Didn't think it was a big deal or that anything like that would ever happen! Everything was fine we were all joking around. I wasn't even talking to him really.

no offence but if your unwilling to help yourself by either asking them for help or asking for the police then why should they help you?

Its harsh judgement, but whenever a girl gets into a tiff with an ex, its usually her who ends up bottling you while your backs turned, at least according to all the CCTV footage seen on TV...

I would call the cops while the bruises and witnesses are fresh. And i still can;t understand why women expect a guy to jump in and defend her when she doesnt even ask them to, if you had started to cry out im sure they would have

call the cops...sorry for the judgement i just have female friends who are totally unwilling to be pro-active even in their own defence and always look to men for it, its kinda infuriates me

 

[lil'tangerine]

Okay, you are all gonna tell me how stupid I am for not pressing charges, but after discussing at length the whole situation with my bf, we decided that it would cause less problems if I just dropped it. I am leaving this country in the near future and do not want it interfering with that process or have to return to deal with it unecessarily. I however did go and quit my job to let them know that it was unacceptable for that to happen to me or anyone else! Maybe I made the wrong decision, but I myself know that it will NEVER happen agian.

 

[b fold the truth]

Bfold, the only thing that is not being told in a story where someone continually allows themselves to be run over is just how that person was broken down again and again as a child. THAT IS THE ONLY STORY THAT MATTERS.... THAT IS THE ONE THAT PEOPLE RARELY EVER HEAR.

Was it told in this story? Did she discuss how she was broken down as a child? Or...did I just miss it somewhere?

I'm reading someone's post about the situation and replying. If she didn't include the info...I can't comment on it.

If you will look at what I said...you will see that note that there MUST be more going on to the situation. That would be that maybe the entire story isn't being told (good or bad).

Guilt and Shame.... a heavy burden to bear, will most definitely cause an individual to allow others to walk all over them again and again and again.

I've been physically beaten up in a relationship before. I've been done horribly wrong, cheated on, lied to (over and over and over and over) and many other things that you can't imagine...and I still took her back. Then..she did it all again and dumped me again. You know what though...I never let her do it to me again, or anyone else for that matter. I decided to wise up, learn from the past, and move on with my life.

If you don't like being walked over or beaten up...it is time to make a stand. If you don't make a stand, expect the same thing and don't complain about it.

If you do not go to the police and at least TRY to press charges you will have allowed that asshole to assault you TWICE - first physically with the punches, then emotionally because you did not stand up for yourself. Your boyfriend can not fix this for you. YOU MUST LEARN TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

Sounds like my advice once again. Either do something or don't. Your choice.

Bfold - I don't have anyone that is as big and strong as you (or even close) to protect me or my kids. Don't be so quick to pass judgement on another woman who is not afforded that luxury. Read her story. There were other men present and THEY DID NOTHING... what was she supposed to do? She already felt violated by the punches. Just how much more humiliated and violated did you think she felt when men that were present (no security camera needed - there were live witnesses) DID ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY NOTHING?

Even as big and strong as I am...I don't have to protect my girlfriend. She is 5' and 120-lbs (at BEST). She stands up for herself and that is how it will stand. If she can't stand up for herself, then she doesn't need me to do it for her...she needs help.

A woman does NOT need a man to stand up for her. It is not a luxury to have a MAN stand up for you and defend your honor. Why was it the responsibility for any other man there to stand up for her? Why should she or anyone else pass judgement on the men who were there who did nothing...or expect something different in that situation...if SHE did and will do and will continue to do nothing herself?

I do agree that you need to get yourself some new friends though.

I had friends like those that you mentioned in your story once.... Getting rid of those sorry pathetic "friends" was one of THE BEST things that ever happened to me. Shoot, with "friends" like that, I sure didn't need any enemies! LOL

You know, I have friends who think that they can be the toughest guys in the world as long as I'm around. They try to get me to "back them up" as they finally get the courage to walk up to some guy at a bar and finally tell them of. You know what THIS good friend does? He walks to his truck and goes home.

I grew out of that old High School game a long time ago and learned that you either stand up for yourself or you don't.

At the point where someone picks up a fork or knife and stabs me with it...I call the police, security, bar tender, manager, and everyone else in the place IMMEDIATELY. I don't stay there and get punched in the leg after that...THEN get hit in the arm.

Well, on second thought...at the point where my CRAZY X shows up...I leave.

Seriously...it is time to either take action or start looking inside of yourself for the answers.

B True

 

[Razorguns]

I never advise women to go to the police.

Why?

Cuz what happens is --- that the cops of course put the foot down with new anti-domestic violence laws and charge the guy. Throw him in jail. Throw the book at him. Society cheers. We love it. "No man should EVER hit a woman" type cheerleading.

Then...

the reality is -- the woman FEELS GUILTY and starts blaming herself. And cries and think it's her fault, when she realizes guy faces court dates, fines, jailtime, etc. She think it's in her best interest to eleviate this new found guilt by going back to him. Patching things up. Making him feel good, since he's now all upset and hates her and his family and friends blame her. That he just made an "innocent" mistake and now look what "she" got him into.

So in essence..going to the police winds up turning the blame on her. It's just like rape charges. Never go to the police, because the rape victim winds up getting chewed up, called a slut, a liar, her history gets thrown into the public eye, blah blah blah (akin to what's going on with Kobe).

Guy hits you abuses you. Just *get away*. Don't waste time with cops, cuz it'll just mean she'll go right back to him to show that's she's SORRY for getting them involved.

Ask ANY cop and he'll tell you how domestic violence laws atually BACKFIRE in most cases.

 

[velvett]

What did your boss do when this happened?

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

What did your boss do when this happened?

he showed up with my boss....I'm kind of surprised that the guys that were there didn't do anything about it, just called him an asshole.

 

[velvett]

...

Er thanks.

I figured he may have done something after the fact or maybe the next time she was at work.

 

[velvett]

I never advise women to go to the police.

Why?

Cuz what happens is --- that the cops of course put the foot down with new anti-domestic violence laws and charge the guy. Throw him in jail. Throw the book at him. Society cheers. We love it. "No man should EVER hit a woman" type cheerleading.

Then...

the reality is -- the woman FEELS GUILTY and starts blaming herself. And cries and think it's her fault, when she realizes guy faces court dates, fines, jailtime, etc. She think it's in her best interest to eleviate this new found guilt by going back to him. Patching things up. Making him feel good, since he's now all upset and hates her and his family and friends blame her. That he just made an "innocent" mistake and now look what "she" got him into.

So in essence..going to the police winds up turning the blame on her. It's just like rape charges. Never go to the police, because the rape victim winds up getting chewed up, called a slut, a liar, her history gets thrown into the public eye, blah blah blah (akin to what's going on with Kobe).

Guy hits you abuses you. Just *get away*. Don't waste time with cops, cuz it'll just mean she'll go right back to him to show that's she's SORRY for getting them involved.

Ask ANY cop and he'll tell you how domestic violence laws atually BACKFIRE in most cases.

Couldn't agree more.


I think the guy just need a good old fashioned SLOE GIN FIZZ in his gas tank.

Sweet AND silent revenge.