got any good quotes and one liners???

[wrench]

Ever heard something that just stuck in your head or something you've read that is serious orfunny as hell??? Share em!!

Heres a few to get started:

• Never name something you might have to eat someday -John Wayne
  
• I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man -Mark Twain
  
• Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. You won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country -George Patton
  
• It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
  
• Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we?
  
• A fart is nothing more than a lonley turd screaming to get out
  
• Your ass called, it wants your head back

 

[XBiker]

"It is the mark of an educated man to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle.

"Too much liberty corrupts us all." -Terence

 

[Bulldog_10]

I like the on in my sig.

 

[oubeta]

YOu are about as sharp as a bowling ball

 

[XBiker]

You can put lip stick on a pig, but it's still a pig.

 

[Crazy Ivan]

- Your village called , they want their idiot back

- I see your point but I still don't give a shit

- Don't ask me twice unless you want two black eyes

- You sound reasonable, time to up my medication

 

[Bulldog_10]

I wouldn't touch her with YOUR dick

 

[wrench]

Nothing is foolproof, because fools are so ingenious

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten -George Carlin

 

[XBiker]

Do not run away; let go. Do not seek, for it will come when least expected. -Bruce Lee

 

[Bulldog_10]

The jerk store called, they're all out of you.

 

[wrench]

Ward wern't you a little hard on my Beaver last night -June Clever

 

[vinylgroover]

If it flies, fucks or floats, rent it don't buy it.

The higher the fewer.

Y'know where my gorilla sleeps......anywhere he wants to.

You can't tell a jackal by the colour of his socks.

 

[Bulldog_10]

If there's grass on the field, play ball.

 

[endpoint]

If there's grass on the field, play ball.

old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.

 

[jackangel]

if I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.

 

[evolvng]

If you cant eat it or fcuk it, shit on it.

thats about as cool as aids

I seen nicer tits on a hog

MJ

 

[sublang]

"The secret of discipline is motivation. When a man is sufficiently motivated, discipline will take care of itself." -Albert Einstein

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." -General George S. Patton

“When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand.” –Bruce Lee

 

[jackangel]

Do nothing which is of no use.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

- Miyamoto Musashi

 

[out_at_sea]

if I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.

Quote the movie..

 

[theoak01]

I work hard because: Millions on welfare depend on me

 

[sigweed]

never trust someone that says "trust me."

 

[FattyBri]

Reguarding women "The fuckin' you get ain't worth the fuckin' you get"

 

[endpoint]

"If you take a girl home and she takes it up the shitter the first night......shes not the girl you will marry" -My best friends dad

sorry that was a bit risque.......but true

 

[Bullit]

Basically you could pick any post of mine at random and end up with a doozy.

 

[Chester_Copperpot]

Quote the movie..

Gleaming the Cube

 

[gettinlarger]

Gleaming the Cube

Stand By Me did it 3 years prior, a la Corey Feldman.

"Luck is when preparation meets opportunity."

 

[curling]

Hang loose, reproduce, and don't let your meat-loaf.

 

[Chester_Copperpot]

"ninjas are the best"

 

[gettinlarger]

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

I like that. A lot.

 

[Scottie2]

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat."

 

[wrench]

Im more busy than a one legged cat in a shit covering contest

 

[white boy]

every dog has his day in the sun because if the dog don't move the sun will

does a bear shit in the woods?

were does the bear shit? next to the rabit

 

[The Republican]

Dont take life too seriously. Its not like you are getting out of it alive.

 

[Bullit]

I've seen better acting in fast actin Tinactin

 

[Crazy Ivan]

When people say "it's always the last place you
look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking
after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and
where are they?

 

[Crazy Ivan]

When people say while watching a film "did you see
that?" No dickhead, I paid $9 to come to the cinema
and stare at the bloody floor.

 

[Crazy Ivan]

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't
really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

 

[Crazy Ivan]

When people say "life is short." Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do
that's longer?

 

[Crazy Ivan]

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks
"Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be
standing here, dickhead ?

 

[Optimus B]

Women are like parking spaces; all the good ones are taken, and the rest of them are handicapped.
-someone's sig

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
-Albert Einstein

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
-Aesop

 

[FISHTALES]

i wouldnt shit you, your my favorite terd.
im comin over to chew gum and kick ass, and im all out of gum.

 

[rsnoble]

Bush Sucks.

 

[XBiker]

Jeez, you guys are lame.

 

[Hannibal]

The bad news is this is going to hurt....the good news is that it's only going to hurt you.