girl trouble :-(

[TheOak84]

ok, im in love with this girl, who is my best friend for 5 years... im pretty sure she doesnt like me at all, but when were drunk she gets all close and touchy and shit.. so i wrote her a letter telling her how i feel and we should be together. she mentioned to the other girls that shes just my close friend and doesnt wanna mess taht up. i told her in the letter that that wont happen cuz id never wanna lose her. i jsut wanna expand what we have.. sounds fair right? but i gave her the letter last night and were gonna talk about it tonite, i think, but.. is there anything i can do to change her mind and take a chance? if you need more details about the situation, ill give them to you, but... any advice in the mean time?

 

[vinylgroover]

I probably would have told you not to write the letter.

It could make things uncomfortable for you both........she obviously knew how you felt anyway.

Hope it goes the way you want t to tonight.

 

[gettinlarger]

It could have:

1) Amazing consequences. Perhaps she has harbored the same feelings for you for some time, and one of you finally had the balls to say it.

2) Nothing will happen. You will stay friends, but she will know how much she means to you, and it may strengthen the relationship.

3) Disastrous consequences. She could get REALLY scared, and break off all ties with you.

I hope its 1 or 2, bro.

 

[oubeta]

Bad move.

Girls can just be friends, guys won't put up with all thier bullshit unless they think they might someday get some or have a relationship. How many ugly friends of yours are chix?

One of my roomates is my close friend, I have a great girlfriend, but sure I wnat to bang her, but I sure as hell don't tell her. Somethings are better left unsaid.

 

[Frackal]

You're fucked most likely...


I am sorry..

 

[p0ink]

NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN WRITING!!!

guys can be friends with girls. i am friends with several females that i have no emotional attatchment to. some chicks are just better being friends with.

dont get me wrong, i wouldnt mind filling their bowels with semen, but that would probably complicate things, and im just not willing to risk that.

 

[anabolicmd]

Why write a letter? Its desperate and corny. This isnt the 18th century we dont write with quills and attach letters to pigeons anymore. Why not just make a move? Actions speak louder than words...you expect her to read it, think about points a through f and conclude that shes gonna throw you some trim? All is not lost, just make your move the very first time you see her. Dont even mention the stupid letter. Tell her she has an eyelash on her cheek, shell close her eyes while you remove it and bingo-you make your move. I suggest light tongue kissing and gentle breast massage in a counterclockwise circular motion.

 

[bdog527]

You're fucked most likely...


I am sorry..

I agree. Girls are notorious for not taking things beyond a friendship. Usually once you are there you are stuck. I'm not saying you are for sure but after five years...well.

 

[biteme]

NEVER PUT ANYTHING IN WRITING!!!

guys can be friends with girls. i am friends with several females that i have no emotional attatchment to. some chicks are just better being friends with.

dont get me wrong, i wouldnt mind filling their bowels with semen, but that would probably complicate things, and im just not willing to risk that.

I can't be friends with attractive women when I'm single. I will definitely try to bang them. I don't know how some of you do it.

 

[revexrevex]

My advice to you is to just go along and see what happens.

Every situation is unique, it involves unique people and their corresponding feelings.

No one can tell you if it was wrong or right to write that letter.

Many passionate relationships occur as a result of being friends first, and lovers after.

 

[OXANDRIN]

just force yourself on her......see what gives

 

[Big Johnson]

Tell her you wrote the letter when drunk.

If she drinks with you after that letter, you KNOW she's down to party

 

[Zander1983]

My girlfriend was in exactly the same situation as you, and she wrote me a letter. We were best friends at the time and I knew she had feelings for me. In this type of situation when you're that close and know each other so well, you just know these things.

In the short-term it backfired. I was scared shitless and cut off all ties with her for 5 months. At the time, I had a lot of issues going on in my life, so that didn't help at all (even though it was no excuse).

We ended up meeting at a friend's birthday (she knew I was going to be there and was invited by my friend who knew he was doing us a favour). After that, we became friends again. In the meantime she'd got together with another guy (a complete tosser), but that ended very shortly for a variety of reasons. The whole time she was still in love with me, so that was most of it.

After bringing our friendship back to where it was originally, which didn't take all that long, my true feelings for her started to surface, yet because of what I did to her previously, I wasn't sure of myself. We ended up having a long talk, resulting in our decision to give a relationship a go. One year later, we're still together. It is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Eventually, we'll get married.

She wrote a letter, it backfired, but things ended happily ever after... Strange things happen

 

[biteme]

My brother contacted his first love thru Classmates.com. She had never gotten over him after 15 years. She claimed that she wasn't in love with her husband and was going to leave him anyway. She left him and now my brother and her are married.

 

[OXANDRIN]

My brother contacted his first love thru Classmates.com. She had never gotten over him after 15 years. She claimed that she wasn't in love with her husband and was going to leave him anyway. She left him and now my brother and her are married.

touching story.....but she sounds like a slut

 

[biteme]

touching story.....but she sounds like a slut

I'd like to know the whole story myself, but all the guys that I run into that know my brother, tell me that she is a great girl. I find it hard to believe myself. Anyone that would leave their husband and break up a family with 2 small children, I have doubts about. THe other person must have been a monster and usually that's not the case.

 

[p0ink]

i would never marry some broad with kids.

 

[biteme]

Sorry to highjack your thread Oak. I need to work on being less selfish.

 

[biteme]

i would never marry some broad with kids.

When you're in late 30's and if you have a child yourself and are divorced, you may not have much of a choice. I'm like you though, I don't want someone else's kids. Mine is enough.

 

[p60]

My girlfriend was in exactly the same situation as you, and she wrote me a letter. We were best friends at the time and I knew she had feelings for me. In this type of situation when you're that close and know each other so well, you just know these things.

In the short-term it backfired. I was scared shitless and cut off all ties with her for 5 months. At the time, I had a lot of issues going on in my life, so that didn't help at all (even though it was no excuse).

We ended up meeting at a friend's birthday (she knew I was going to be there and was invited by my friend who knew he was doing us a favour). After that, we became friends again. In the meantime she'd got together with another guy (a complete tosser), but that ended very shortly for a variety of reasons. The whole time she was still in love with me, so that was most of it.

After bringing our friendship back to where it was originally, which didn't take all that long, my true feelings for her started to surface, yet because of what I did to her previously, I wasn't sure of myself. We ended up having a long talk, resulting in our decision to give a relationship a go. One year later, we're still together. It is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Eventually, we'll get married.

She wrote a letter, it backfired, but things ended happily ever after... Strange things happen

zander,

VERY interesting story.

Many times I hear that after one person gets scared everything ends and the friendship gets awkward.

Your story seems very different thoguh. I am curious why was it that you didnt get together with her in the first place? Like what was holding you back? And what made you eventually decide to get with her,
and why do you say that it is the best decision of your life?

 

[Zander1983]

Best decision of my life because I love her, she loves me, and I am certain we will spend the rest of our lives together. We're young and plenty of people have surely been in our situation and thought the same thing and had it go down the toilet, but I really feel like its the truth.

What held me back? I was studying Law and dropped out after 1 semester. Dominated at high school and burnt myself out academically, so that really messed me around because it was something I wasn't used to. It was a big shock for friends and family too, that made it hard and didn't help.

On top of that, I had plenty of self-esteem issues - a lot of people around here would've been in the same boat at some stage. I was big into binge eating and wanted to guard my secret. I'm over it now (and told her that when we got together), but at the time it stood in the way.

At the time I hated life. My job (bartending), my studies, and most importantly myself.

Man my stories are gay.

 

[revexrevex]

No bro, you're gay, dont do squats in those shorts again

But seriously, what you wrote was more mature than what some adults facing twice your age. Props to you and let it be a good experience for the rest of your life.

 

[Zander1983]

No bro, you're gay, dont do squats in those shorts again.

I promise

 

[biteme]

Best decision of my life because I love her, she loves me, and I am certain we will spend the rest of our lives together. We're young and plenty of people have surely been in our situation and thought the same thing and had it go down the toilet, but I really feel like its the truth.

What held me back? I was studying Law and dropped out after 1 semester. Dominated at high school and burnt myself out academically, so that really messed me around because it was something I wasn't used to. It was a big shock for friends and family too, that made it hard and didn't help.

On top of that, I had plenty of self-esteem issues - a lot of people around here would've been in the same boat at some stage. I was big into binge eating and wanted to guard my secret. I'm over it now (and told her that when we got together), but at the time it stood in the way.

At the time I hated life. My job (bartending), my studies, and most importantly myself.

Man my stories are gay.

No they're not. Props to you for being honest. Most of us suffer from self doubt and have problems to overcome at one time or another.