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getting rid of bruises?

MassiveGunz

MassiveGunz

New member
Hey bros.
I had kind of a tuff weekend this past weekend. My head is fucking kiling my ass right now.
But I got this problem that I hope some of you pricks can help me solve.
I don't entirely know what happened ot whatever, but I'm in a lot of pain and people are asking me questions about why I am all brusied up.

I have on my normal zebaz pants (GO BILLS!) and just a plain string tank top to show off my fucking GUNZ, but people are saying I have all this shit on me.

Like on my back I have what I'm told is lioke a boot shape iwth a tread and everything. and to be honest, my kidneys do really hurt - but I just throught it was from all the abombs an the jim beam iuf you know what I;m saying.
Also, my skinny fuck ass manager says that one of my eyes looks puffy and black and blue. I told him that he needs to shut up or I'll make him puffy and black.

I have some sort of claw marks all over my back,a nd this bithc I work wiht says she thinks they look like they are infected -whatever -that bitch is always talking shit really. she is just jelus she can't swallow my man load, if you know what I mean.

I've already mentioned the tooth marks on my dick, but that doesn't bother me too much - we've all been there with a too much tooth bitch.

anyway - you bros nkow how to clear up bruises fast? I don't want hos here at the gyj thinking I'm some queer with aids.
 
I don't wear makeup - I'm a dude.

also, and I guess this might be better off in like a different thread thing.
but is it bad to get oral from a dude - but if you thought it was a chick?

Like, this bitch has sweet tits and she was tall. I guess at the time I was too loaded to even know better - I don't even remember - but one of my bros just came in to the gym and is telling me that I got head from some transvetike and I don't know if that makes me gay now or not.

fuck, I feel like shit.
 
You don't remember what happened, and you've got all kinds of bruises? ...uh-oh. Have you checked your knees for grass stains?

But really, up the vitamin-C to at least 3-5 grams a day, and get yourself some bromelain (pineapple enzyme), and that will help speed the healing.
 
Well, first off:

thomas_fag.jpg

THIS THREAD IS KINDA GAY


But to stick to the topic, to get rid of bruising and prevent future brusing, keep your vitamin C intake high. Vitamin C helps wound healing and prevents bruising.
 
shit - is there anything in the gym that is high in vitamins C - like those protein drink things?
I'm sitting here at our desk and have a headak from hell.

I Drink a lot of coke throughout the day - that is high in viatmine C right?

fuck -0 I need like lemons or somethign right? maybe at lunch I'll try to get some.
 
and fuck - don't call me gay.

I'm not like that at all. I'm not even entirely sure the chick thing was a dude - this guy here at the gym is saying that, but hell, he was drinking too - so what the hell does he know.

I've seen him bang someof t he nastiest chicks rignt in the bar bathrorm.
he gets mad actions for a dude that short.
 
The protein drinks might have a little vitamin-c, but not much.

Coke doesn't have vitamin-C in it. In fact, the caffeine acts as a diuretic, which will make you piss out your vitamin-C even quicker.

If you're going to any store that sells lemons, they should also have some kind of chewable vitamin-C there too. Just buy that.
 
cool - I'll get some chewy vitamins C -thanks man!

does rubbing it help at all? or whatabout like aloe vera? doe sthat I have viatmins C in it?

this skinny guy I work with - he's my dork ass manager. he says that dirnking aloe vera makes him regular.
I told him that he could drink whatever the hell he wants and he is still a skinny little fuck.

I hate that guy.
 
Well, drinking aloe vera will make you regular, but it also makes you gay. :) Don't do it!

I doubt if rubbing your bruises is going to help at all. Ice-ing the bruises can help, if you do it right after you get 'em.
 
man, I am so fucking sick of everyone saying I'm gay. I'm not fucking GAY!!!
damn - you guys are so fucking homeophobic - I'm not even gay and I'm not a homo.

I got the bruises over the weekend - but it wasn't until just not that I was more sober to see or feel them.
 
MassiveGunz said:
cool - I'll get some chewy vitamins C -thanks man!

does rubbing it help at all? or whatabout like aloe vera? doe sthat I have viatmins C in it?
Click to expand...

Does rubbing what help? Rubbing the transvestites cock will get you a big load of vitamin C(um). Don't know if it will help the bruises or not. Haha. He made your brown eye blue.

Your stories are funny. Keep'em cumming.
 
MassiveGunz said:
man, I am so fucking sick of everyone saying I'm gay. I'm not fucking GAY!!!
Click to expand...

Damn Gunz, I wasn't calling you gay. Just saying don't drink Aloe or you'll turn into your manager. ...looking out for you, man.
 
FUCKIUNG SHUT UOP!!!

I'm not gay. hell, I've never had sex with a dude at all.

I just wnated to know if getting head from a ... maybe a dude, but that had big tits and looked pretty hot - if that counts as making me gay. I don't even know if sh ewas or not.
my friend is probably making it all up - but I doo have teeth marks on my cock.

do you know if you can tell if tooth marks are from a dude or a bithc? maybe I coudl get that tested and solve this thing.

too many bitches want my ass- that's why I can't be gay.

you guys are just jelus of this.
 
HappyScrappy said:
sounds like somebody is in denial.

just open up to us big fella - there are lots of gay guys on here, you are in a happy place.

come to poppa
Click to expand...

you are a fucking pece of shit asshole.
I've said this like 8 billion fucking times dick.
I AM NOT GAY

if you are jealuse that I'm fucking twice your size you little dick, and that I get tons more piussy than you, fine - but don't you fucking call me gay.
gay is what is for homos and queers - I am not that or eithe rof thoose.

some people say I could be gay becasue I'm good looking and huge.
but I'm not - I only lik ehaving sex with the bitches.

I fucking would kick your ass you dick.
 
MassiveGunz said:
FUCKIUNG SHUT UOP!!!

I'm not gay. hell, I've never had sex with a dude at all.

I just wnated to know if getting head from a ... maybe a dude, but that had big tits and looked pretty hot - if that counts as making me gay. I don't even know if sh ewas or not.
my friend is probably making it all up - but I doo have teeth marks on my cock.

do you know if you can tell if tooth marks are from a dude or a bithc? maybe I coudl get that tested and solve this thing.

too many bitches want my ass- that's why I can't be gay.

you guys are just jelus of this.
Click to expand...

transvestite cumpdumpster
 
lol - yeah, this guy is coming off as totally normal.

I take it all back - no gay here. Except maybe that MassiveGuns fellow.
Other than him, there is just a lot of straightness here.
 
HappyScrappy said:
lol - yeah, this guy is coming off as totally normal.

I take it all back - no gay here. Except maybe that MassiveGuns fellow.
Other than him, there is just a lot of straightness here.
Click to expand...

I'm goin to just ignore this fucker from now on.

you think youy are funny, bu tyou are just a computer programmer up in... whetever the fuck youy are.

you probably don't even get laid.
you wish you were me.
 
MassiveGunz said:


what the hell are you taling about?

I'm not a transvestike and I'm not a cumdumpester either.

your mom is though!

:mix:

fucking OWNED!!!
Click to expand...

That is the greatest flame in the history of elite. You are right about everyone being jealous of you, but, not because some travestite spackled your butt cheeks together with cum or chewed on your penis. I'm jealous because you obviously won the spelling bee in elementary school and I always wanted one of those shiny little trophy's to sit on my dresser.

transvestite cumdumpster.
 
notoriousQQ said:


That is the greatest flame in the history of elite. You are right about everyone being jealous of you, but, not because some travestite spackled your butt cheeks together with cum or chewed on your penis. I'm jealous because you obviously won the spelling bee in elementary school and I always wanted one of those shiny little trophy's to sit on my dresser.

transvestite cumdumpster.
Click to expand...

sign your posts however you want.

and damn ficking right I'm the best flame ever on here. I just owned you.

and I haven't ever had anything in my ass or on emy ass - so you don't know shit - hell, even your username is lame.

and who gives a shit about spelling -in real life I get mad action,a nd hat is all that matters.
I'm also pretty well off, so in the end, I think I'm winning you prick.
 
MassiveGunz said:


sign your posts however you want.

and damn ficking right I'm the best flame ever on here. I just owned you.

and I haven't ever had anything in my ass or on emy ass - so you don't know shit - hell, even your username is lame.

and who gives a shit about spelling -in real life I get mad action,a nd hat is all that matters.
I'm also pretty well off, so in the end, I think I'm winning you prick.
Click to expand...



Did you just say t hat you are the best flamer on here???
 
gettinlarger said:
You know, there are words in the English language other than "fuck," or variations of it; i.e. "fuckihg," or "fucker."
Click to expand...

whatever - I fuckin know tons of words.

but like, who gives a fucking shit - when I was in school I had sex with tons of bitches -even some of my teachers wanted on me.
I still get lots of action now - so why the hell shoudl I care how I write when I get more wet pussy on my dick than you do in a year?
yeah - I thought so.
 
MassiveGunz said:


sign your posts however you want.

and damn ficking right I'm the best flame ever on here. I just owned you.

and I haven't ever had anything in my ass or on emy ass - so you don't know shit - hell, even your username is lame.

and who gives a shit about spelling -in real life I get mad action,a nd hat is all that matters.
I'm also pretty well off, so in the end, I think I'm winning you prick.
Click to expand...

You are right about one thing MassiveRunz, you are the best flamer on here.

And, owned is whenever you have a boot print on your back and bruises that make you look like a free clinic patient carrying a truckload of vd around in that nasty germ infested piece of cheese you call your ass. As in, massive owned by transvestite 12-07-02.

Oh, and I'm not a prick. I'm just having a little fun. You come off as a hater to me though.
 
I'm no hater. I get too much action to hate.

I like all you bros, except notoriousQQ - youy are a dick.
and HappyCrappy - that guy picked on me for no reason at all. I've seen his pics and he idn't even huge.

and you shouldn't talk about the bruises - if you drank at all,t hen you would know all about waking up polaces that you don't know, or having bruises and being with bitches that you don't know.

I'm not germ infested, I'm healthy - hell, I take handfuls of abombs and dbols every day - if I weren't healthy I couldn't do that now could I?

thought so.

now go back to your mom and give her kiss from MassiveGUNZ - she';lkl know who thta tis. I'm the one that fucked her in the ass last night.
 
MassiveGunz said:
Hey bros.
I had kind of a tuff weekend this past weekend. My head is fucking kiling my ass right now.
But I got this problem that I hope some of you pricks can help me solve.
I don't entirely know what happened ot whatever, but I'm in a lot of pain and people are asking me questions about why I am all brusied up.

I have on my normal zebaz pants (GO BILLS!) and just a plain string tank top to show off my fucking GUNZ, but people are saying I have all this shit on me.

Like on my back I have what I'm told is lioke a boot shape iwth a tread and everything. and to be honest, my kidneys do really hurt - but I just throught it was from all the abombs an the jim beam iuf you know what I;m saying.
Also, my skinny fuck ass manager says that one of my eyes looks puffy and black and blue. I told him that he needs to shut up or I'll make him puffy and black.

I have some sort of claw marks all over my back,a nd this bithc I work wiht says she thinks they look like they are infected -whatever -that bitch is always talking shit really. she is just jelus she can't swallow my man load, if you know what I mean.

I've already mentioned the tooth marks on my dick, but that doesn't bother me too much - we've all been there with a too much tooth bitch.

anyway - you bros nkow how to clear up bruises fast? I don't want hos here at the gyj thinking I'm some queer with aids.
Click to expand...

This has got to be a joke... If not, Massive, you're a complete fucking idiot...
 
Re: Re: getting rid of bruises?

FLASHMAN1 said:


This has got to be a joke... If not, Massive, you're a complete fucking idiot...
Click to expand...

bro - what did I ever do to you? all I wanted was some help getting rid of bruises, and I figured the bros woudl want to know how I got them, so that they woudl know how to fux them.

I'm not joking - my head hurts too much to joke. I Wish I were joking, then I could go out to this party that they are having tonight over at one of my bros house - there are gonna be some fine bitches there I'm tellin ya.
but instead I'll probably just sit at home and drink beer and watch tv, I don't think I'm gonna be able to go out. I feel like shit.

man, I'm sick of all the haters on thsi baord. you come on here and ask serious questions and peopl just want to shit all overyou because they are so jeluse of what you have and they don't.

that's coll though, I won't judge you flashman. you are probabloy a cool bro and just having a bad day too - I'll bet a lot of bros on this boar had a ruff weekend too.
 
Massive Gunz is okay in my book even though he wears zubas and thinks i'm a prick. He is quite creative and entertaining in fabricating the facade he presents. Keep up the good work.
 
MassiveGunz said:


yeah and I stand by that.
I'l lflame your ass better than anyone on this board.

OWNED!!
Click to expand...


I just wanted to be sure, because I found the following information in the Probert Online Slang Encyclopedia:

FLAMER

Flamer is American slang for a flagrant male homosexual.

owned10.jpg
owned_1.jpg

owned1.jpg
owned.jpg


Dude, you gotta relax before you give yourself a stroke, we're just playing around here.
 
you need vitamin k to get rid of bruises.... i didnt read anything past your bullshit beginning.
 
LLO

yeah, I guess you guys are just playing.

sorry, I don't know much about computers and it is hard enough just to type out all this shit and the board stuff goe sby all quickly and shit.

if you are just playing with me, then I'm sorry - but I seriosly am not gay. I' sick of everyone always saying that.

those pictures are funny - I've owned a lot of you lately and they remind me of that.

but we are all bros and I'm willing to overlook the fact htat I owened you all if you guy s are also willing to over look it.

and thanks for the help on the bruising bbros.

this dude that comes into my gym says that I should tak ea lot of aspriin and then sleep a lot and no dinking.
I told him that I'll just stik to beer tonight and get some good rest.
 
don't listen to all these haters dog, you know that the cheddar breeds jealousy. there just hating on you, what the big dog has, hating on the big dogs lifestyle, hating on the big dogs gunz, hating on the fact that you are true player living the shit and they are jealous of all dat baby. Hating on the fact that you ARE the biggest flamer on here, living it, breathing it, doing it all. Peace.
 
notriusQQ bro - I thought you were a dick just a little bit back - but I'm sorry about that.

I can see now that you are a good bro.

thanks man. I don't own you anymore - but I'm still number one flamer here. if anyone needs to get flamed, I'm on it!
 
madbomber31 said:
you need vitamin k to get rid of bruises.... i didnt read anything past your bullshit beginning.
Click to expand...

I asked this bithc I work with and she said Vitamin K is called "potassium" - is that true?
she says it is in bannanas. we have some here at our juice bar - so I should just eat a lot of those? I hope I just have to eat them and not do some sort of weird cream.
if so, I'm doingthat at home -0 it is too embarssing here at work.
 
Massive,

I hurd da quikest way to get absorption of potassium in to your system, and get rid of dem faggy bruises, it to put a banana in your tailpipe. Just make sure you peel da cover off first. I don't know fo sho, cause I ain't a doctor, maybe ask your friend if its true. Whatever works and will get you looking like da big dog again though.
 
notoriousQQ said:
Massive,

I hurd da quikest way to get absorption of potassium in to your system, and get rid of dem faggy bruises, it to put a banana in your tailpipe. Just make sure you peel da cover off first. I don't know fo sho, cause I ain't a doctor, maybe ask your friend if its true. Whatever works and will get you looking like da big dog again though.
Click to expand...

oh man, if you mean what I think you mean... I hope you are joking.

I think you are just joking though - ar eyou making fun of me?

fuck - I thought you were one fo the bros I was cool with. damn, you guys are all just always dicks.

should I be posting bruising questions on another board? like the training board? I didn't get the bruises while training though.
 
dead serious bro. since you do da drugs, I thought you would realize that what I say is the truth. Ever done x? Quickest means of absorption is putting it in your tail pipe dog. Gets it into your bloodstream fast. Fo real. Figured the same might be true wit dem bananas. Don't talk about it, be about it. Now, just do the damn thing.
 
I've enver done any drugs up my ass. that is a fact.
that makes me wonder if that woudl make me gay though.
I don't really want to do anything to make me gay - I have enough people saying that shit as it is.

I've done X before, but it was just normal, not up the ass.

are you serious? should I be doing drugs in my ass? that just sounds wrong. what happens when I have to take a dump?
 
No, not all drugs go in your ass. Just using x as an example. Personally I don't really fuck wit da drugs, but, I've heard from some smart bros that know who were partying with some strippers one night and they all put the x up their poop shoots because they would get high quicker. It doesn't clog da tail pipe, it absorbs man. If you have to poop, well, go grow a tail and take care of business. But, this isn't about doing drugs in your butt or peoples perception of you being gay. It's about getting that potassium in your system so the bruises go away quicker. No, it won't make you gay either. You want the bruises gone right? I've offered all of da help I can to you on this topic. Peace out, keep up all the good posting bro.
 
bro, I guess I beleeve you and shit, but that is freaking me out.

I don't think I can stick anything in my ass.

ONE TIME - and only once - this nasty chick I waws banging tried to stick her finger in there while she was giving me head - holy shit, I nearly nocked her head clean off.
I just don't go for that shit.
 
Thanks for reminding me.

notoriusQQ - so only X and vitamins go in your ass? Like you dont put weed in there I hope do you? And how would you even put coke in there?
So only pills right?
 
Please re-read the posts that you are referencing, all of the information that I have to offer on this thread up until this point is contained therein.

Keep up the good work though bro, you seem to be posting some good information on the site up until this point.

I read on another thread that you were volunteering some of your pt services to us here on EF. I might need to rely on your insight and experience and get some advice from you about training here in the near future. I'm not like the rest of the people here flaming you dude, cause you are the biggest flamer on here. I know you were joking whenever you asked if coca cola was a good source of vitamin C, not like the rest of the people here. Keep up the good work. You know who you should really flame? George Spellwin. Get on to George's case, people think that's really funny around here.
 
MassiveGunz said:


I asked this bithc I work with and she said Vitamin K is called "potassium" - is that true?
Click to expand...
vitamin k and potassium are 2 completely different things. vitamin k is used in contolling the formation of the cofactors that are involved in blood clotting, ie thrombin, prothrombin, christmas factor, etc. vitamin k is commonly found in milk products, meat, and grains. your coworker probably confused vitamin k with potassium since the chemical symbol for potassium is K.
 
MassiveGunz said:
Thanks for reminding me.

notoriusQQ - so only X and vitamins go in your ass? Like you dont put weed in there I hope do you? And how would you even put coke in there?
So only pills right?
Click to expand...



No, I think you'd be able to safely put a joint up your ass and light it, give it a try sometime.

:havoc:
 
skaman bro, my bad.

I saw SofaGorge's signatura nd I was remembering how I also am not a source, so I just copied his.

I'm no t real good with computers, so I probalby screwed it up.
 
massive guns, hey bro,i have been reading your posts the last few days on here, and you are the funniest person ever. i've been sititng here reading your posts for like the last hour cause they are just awesome. keep up the good work
 
madbomber31 said:
you need vitamin k to get rid of bruises.... i didnt read anything past your bullshit beginning.
Click to expand...
really?...what about grape seed extract?
 
Good call. Put a fucking banana up yer ass. I blew my shake all over the monitor, and snarfed at least two ounces of it right out my nose.

Please, you need some pure oxygen right from the tank. It wont help with bruises at all, but it might clear your head enough to see when you are being totally completely fucked with.

Banana up your ass? ROTFLMAO
 
MassiveGunz said:


I'm goin to just ignore this fucker from now on.

you think youy are funny, bu tyou are just a computer programmer up in... whetever the fuck youy are.

you probably don't even get laid.
you wish you were me.
Click to expand...

This is my favorite post of this thread.
Especially since I wrote all of his posts on this thread.
 
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