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getting married in 2011? maybe?

cindylou said:
yes. he left me tho. they lie ebony. he said he wanted a family and 5 years later he left me after I carried his baby :(
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I cant imagine my dude doing that. was abby a surprise? he changed his mind about kids? we can take it to PMs if you want cindy. id like to know where it all went wrong.
 
*ebony* said:
yes, i love him. he's become so ingrained into my life, that its hard to imagine my life without him. he's always there for me and he makes me feel like im the best thing thats ever happened to him, beautiful, wanted and needed. im happy when im with him, is that not love?

imagine marrying him, why yes sure i can and like i said, i don't know what i'd do with huge junks of my free time if he wasn't around because he's such a big part of my life.

loyal to him? as in cheating? I don't cheat. I would end it first. thing is i wish the sex was better, its okay, but nothing amazing. maybe it does get better with age?
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at 24, your not the same person that you will be in a few more years, ( I'm going to paint with BROAD strokes, so NannyG indulge me, please, and know that this isn't advise to everyone, K.... huggs) amd neither is he. If you think that he's "the one", there's nothing wrong with living together for a few more years just to see where the relationship takes you. I noticed that you wrote that he makes you feel like YOUR the best thing that has ever happened to HIM, what about your feelings though. If he doesn't give you the "warm fuzzies/tinglies" when your together, I'd be paying attention to that. If you find that your eyes wander more often than you'ld like to admit, that's another thing that I would think about.
The sex, if it's ability, technique, sponteneity, types he won't try ie. oral/anal, you can deal with that by being just comming out and telling him. I NEED you to touch me like this and whene we do this, try and do this. When you are making love, when he does something that you really like, tell him " Oh Baby, I LOVE that" or "yes, just like that, it's drives me wild", he'll get the message loud and clear. It's positive reinforcement Ebs. If it's something physical, that's a little harder to deal with, he's too small/ large, your gonna have to get creative and work with what you have. Creativity is a GREAT thing and needs to be practiced throught the relationaship/marrage. I love steak, but I don't want it every meal. You've heard it before, "Variety is the spice of life", it's gonna be up to you to make the efforts, if he's got any sense, he'll catch on and start doing things for himself after that.

Please go back and read my original post early in your thread, I may have put some tongue-in-cheek stuff, but most of it was me being "for real".
 
IrightI said:
at 24, your not the same person that you will be in a few more years, ( I'm going to paint with BROAD strokes, so NannyG indulge me, please, and know that this isn't advise to everyone, K.... huggs) amd neither is he. If you think that he's "the one", there's nothing wrong with living together for a few more years just to see where the relationship takes you. I noticed that you wrote that he makes you feel like YOUR the best thing that has ever happened to HIM, what about your feelings though. If he doesn't give you the "warm fuzzies/tinglies" when your together, I'd be paying attention to that. If you find that your eyes wander more often than you'ld like to admit, that's another thing that I would think about.
The sex, if it's ability, technique, sponteneity, types he won't try ie. oral/anal, you can deal with that by being just comming out and telling him. I NEED you to touch me like this and whene we do this, try and do this. When you are making love, when he does something that you really like, tell him " Oh Baby, I LOVE that" or "yes, just like that, it's drives me wild", he'll get the message loud and clear. It's positive reinforcement Ebs. If it's something physical, that's a little harder to deal with, he's too small/ large, your gonna have to get creative and work with what you have. Creativity is a GREAT thing and needs to be practiced throught the relationaship/marrage. I love steak, but I don't want it every meal. You've heard it before, "Variety is the spice of life", it's gonna be up to you to make the efforts, if he's got any sense, he'll catch on and start doing things for himself after that.

Please go back and read my original post early in your thread, I may have put some tongue-in-cheek stuff, but most of it was me being "for real".
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this bro speaks the truth
 
IrightI said:
at 24, your not the same person that you will be in a few more years, ( I'm going to paint with BROAD strokes, so NannyG indulge me, please, and know that this isn't advise to everyone, K.... huggs) amd neither is he. If you think that he's "the one", there's nothing wrong with living together for a few more years just to see where the relationship takes you. I noticed that you wrote that he makes you feel like YOUR the best thing that has ever happened to HIM, what about your feelings though. If he doesn't give you the "warm fuzzies/tinglies" when your together, I'd be paying attention to that. If you find that your eyes wander more often than you'ld like to admit, that's another thing that I would think about.
The sex, if it's ability, technique, sponteneity, types he won't try ie. oral/anal, you can deal with that by being just comming out and telling him. I NEED you to touch me like this and whene we do this, try and do this. When you are making love, when he does something that you really like, tell him " Oh Baby, I LOVE that" or "yes, just like that, it's drives me wild", he'll get the message loud and clear. It's positive reinforcement Ebs. If it's something physical, that's a little harder to deal with, he's too small/ large, your gonna have to get creative and work with what you have. Creativity is a GREAT thing and needs to be practiced throught the relationaship/marrage. I love steak, but I don't want it every meal. You've heard it before, "Variety is the spice of life", it's gonna be up to you to make the efforts, if he's got any sense, he'll catch on and start doing things for himself after that.

Please go back and read my original post early in your thread, I may have put some tongue-in-cheek stuff, but most of it was me being "for real".
Click to expand...

See now you are spot on! :)

I must say I also noticed what Ebony wrote... how pretty much he does everything right for her.... but that doesnt mean you love him, honestly Ebony you really didnt mention a nice thing about him, just about him towards you.... of course I understand it's a post and not dissertation :D

if the sex is bad due to attraction then that kinda thing rarely improved, if it's technique or intensity that can be worked on....
 
*ebony* said:
yes, i love him. he's become so ingrained into my life, that its hard to imagine my life without him. he's always there for me and he makes me feel like im the best thing thats ever happened to him, beautiful, wanted and needed. im happy when im with him, is that not love?

imagine marrying him, why yes sure i can and like i said, i don't know what i'd do with huge junks of my free time if he wasn't around because he's such a big part of my life.

loyal to him? as in cheating? I don't cheat. I would end it first. thing is i wish the sex was better, its okay, but nothing amazing. maybe it does get better with age?
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Its great you're happy with him, i'm sure you'll make the right decision. My grandmother gave me some advice that her father gave her- marry the man who loves you a little more than you love him.
 
trex74 said:
Its great you're happy with him, i'm sure you'll make the right decision. My grandmother gave me some advice that her father gave her- marry the man who loves you a little more than you love him.
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What if the man got the same advice lol
 
crew9 said:
Bumping an old thread but out of curiousity what did you decide?
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I didn't. silence was definitely not the answer he anticipated when he proposed, he did get a bit a distant after that, pretty emotional couple weeks lotta hurt, doubt, insecurity/questioning about the reason behind my silence and all the above emotions, mixed with a whole lotta confusion and anger at myslef. He asked again since Jan and no matter how hard i tried to say yes, the word would get stuck in my throat, and i just ended up saying "i cant, not right now."

I feel guilty as hell because what if he stays waiting for my answer(if he doesn't change his mind) and I still cant say yes, or if i say no. And all this time he's been with me, he could've found something special with someone else who'd give him what he wanted.

we talked about all of this, and it seems to have brought us closer than tear us apart in a way. I often wonder if we are both using each other as anchors now, until the next sure thing came along and all this would end; Im definitely afraid of losing him, because what if i never get him back.

oh and my parents love him, my brothers dislike him, maybe not dislike but they certainly don't like him. His mother thinks he could do a whole lot better than me(has the girl all picked out for him) and that I'll never be good enough for her baby, his dad is awesome. he's an only child.

thats pretty much it.
 
*ebony* said:
I didn't. silence was definitely not the answer he anticipated when he proposed, he did get a bit a distant after that, pretty emotional couple weeks lotta hurt, doubt, insecurity/questioning about the reason behind my silence and all the above emotions, mixed with a whole lotta confusion and anger at myslef. He asked again since Jan and no matter how hard i tried to say yes, the word would get stuck in my throat, and i just ended up saying "i cant, not right now."

I feel guilty as hell because what if he stays waiting for my answer(if he doesn't change his mind) and I still cant say yes, or if i say no. And all this time he's been with me, he could've found something special with someone else who'd give him what he wanted.

we talked about all of this, and it seems to have brought us closer than tear us apart in a way. I often wonder if we are both using each other as anchors now, until the next sure thing came along and all this would end; Im definitely afraid of losing him, because what if i never get him back.

oh and my parents love him, my brothers dislike him, maybe not dislike but they certainly don't like him. His mother thinks he could do a whole lot better than me(has the girl all picked out for him) and that I'll never be good enough for her baby, his dad is awesome. he's an only child.

thats pretty much it.
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So what Im seeing here is that youre cheating on me.
 
*ebony* said:
I didn't. silence was definitely not the answer he anticipated when he proposed, he did get a bit a distant after that, pretty emotional couple weeks lotta hurt, doubt, insecurity/questioning about the reason behind my silence and all the above emotions, mixed with a whole lotta confusion and anger at myslef. He asked again since Jan and no matter how hard i tried to say yes, the word would get stuck in my throat, and i just ended up saying "i cant, not right now."

I feel guilty as hell because what if he stays waiting for my answer(if he doesn't change his mind) and I still cant say yes, or if i say no. And all this time he's been with me, he could've found something special with someone else who'd give him what he wanted.

we talked about all of this, and it seems to have brought us closer than tear us apart in a way. I often wonder if we are both using each other as anchors now, until the next sure thing came along and all this would end; Im definitely afraid of losing him, because what if i never get him back.

oh and my parents love him, my brothers dislike him, maybe not dislike but they certainly don't like him. His mother thinks he could do a whole lot better than me(has the girl all picked out for him) and that I'll never be good enough for her baby, his dad is awesome. he's an only child.

thats pretty much it.
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I asked because I saw a lot of parallels in how you described him and your relationship to the way I used to describe my ex. Wish you guys the best.
 
*ebony* said:
what happened? well besides the obvious ex part.lol
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Long story made short.....We were together for 6 years. Shared all the same likes/dislikes. Were there for each other through a lot of good and bad times, on paper she is my perfect girl. Despite all of that I still had this doubt in the back of my mind. It only really showed itself when I thought about marriage or getting engaged. In six years I never went engagement ring shopping/looking. It's normal to have concerns and doubts about getting engaged but I think those should be easily outweighed by the excitement of getting to spend the rest of your life with that person. I didn't feel that for her. As much as I love her I didn't know if I was in love with her. After 6 years that is something I should have already known. So I broke up with her so we could both find that.
 
crew9 said:
Long story made short.....We were together for 6 years. Shared all the same likes/dislikes. Were there for each other through a lot of good and bad times, on paper she is my perfect girl. Despite all of that I still had this doubt in the back of my mind. It only really showed itself when I thought about marriage or getting engaged. In six years I never went engagement ring shopping/looking. It's normal to have concerns and doubts about getting engaged but I think those should be easily outweighed by the excitement of getting to spend the rest of your life with that person. I didn't feel that for her. As much as I love her I didn't know if I was in love with her. After 6 years that is something I should have already known. So I broke up with her so we could both find that.
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yea...i understand.

do you regret your decision?
 
redshirt27se said:
I want to dump a baby (sons only) in a chick at some point, but it's not any time soon. Not before I'm 30 at least..maybe 35.
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1-so elequently said.
2-whats wrong with girls?
3-Dont jinx yourself! I know a guy who was so set on only sons, had it all planned out. wifely was on special diet, they worked with their doc, and tried all kinds of techniques and methods. they have two kids and his wife just gave birth to their third daughter.lol
 
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