funny shit

[Lao Tzu]

There was some comedian (louis black i think) who said it would be funny to go into a store and ask for a pre-determined list of things that would make the employee wonder what you were doing.


"yeah i need some coleslaw, a stopwatch, and a bible"

"i need a hunting rifle, a picture of bob dylan, and a map of california"

"i need a wedding dress, 5 lbs. of mayonnaise, and an instructional video on how to handglide"

"i need an enema kit, a mirror and any cereal box with a cartoon character on the front"


hilarious

 

[HappyScrappy]

I knew a girl in high school that used to do this.

she'd walk into grocery stores and ask at the customer service desk:

"what isle is the whipped cream in? hmm, okay. do you know where you keep honey? oh, okay. are the condoms over by the drugstore? great - do you know if they have extra large? they do? fantastic. do you sell rubberbands? perfect. okay... oh yeah - do you know if you happen to sell dog collars/leashes?"

she was pretty funny.

 

[Citruscide]

I knew a girl in high school that used to do this.

she'd walk into grocery stores and ask at the customer service desk:

"what isle is the whipped cream in? hmm, okay. do you know where you keep honey? oh, okay. are the condoms over by the drugstore? great - do you know if they have extra large? they do? fantastic. do you sell rubberbands? perfect. okay... oh yeah - do you know if you happen to sell dog collars/leashes?"

she was pretty funny.

Err Huhhh eehh what?! Whoo.... ahh... umm... zzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz oh... haha... yeah... funny... she's funny.

C

 

[dballer]

I did this shit in a hardware store then had to sit and explain to the old man why he should not call the police.. and that it was a joke.

Mine was like this...

"Do you have 3 inch threaded boiler pipe?" "Good.. do you have end caps for that size?" "OK perfect... can you point me to the gardening center?" "Why??... ugghhhh .. I need a small bag of fertilizer and some lawn mower ether."

 

[WODIN]

These are too good.

 

[The Shadow]

Hi. I would like to buy a rifle. Yep, some ammo, too. Where is the nylon rope?? In housewares? Good. How about some duct tape?? Same place?? Cool. How about an alarm clock, some bleach and ammonia and some stereo speaker wire. Sweet!! One stop shopping.

 

[Citruscide]

I suppose if I had to order something completely wack, it would be...

a 20oz glass of motor oil, a football helmet full of cottage cheese, and a yellow sombrero...

C

 

[Lao Tzu]

"i'd like a do-it-yourself lawyer CD ROM, some nylon rope, some duct tape, and one of those polaroid cameras that develops the film inside the camera so you don't have to go to a photomat"

"i want an enema kit, some pantyhose, and a blank VHS tape"

 

[Drew Carey]

back in college I was in a frat. One of the things that a rushie had to do was to bring a store reciept with hust 2 items on it. A Cucumber and a jar of vasoline.