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Failed relationships. How bad does it hurt?
- Thread starter biteme
- Start date
mightymouse69 said:
Why does this sound more positive when a man says it? If I said that, the anti-women brigade led by Awitty would be all over me.
It isn't that bad. I would be lying if I said there wasn't some dissappointment. But, you learn from it and move on. Don't hold onto anger & baggage. It will only affect the next relationship.
G
Gambino
Guest
after every bad relationship, i go for a few months of feeling like shit...then I have a re-awakening when I realize how much of a pussy I have been actin', i start to rebound and all the sudden life has never been so sweet...you gotta scrape bottom in order to feel better
G
Gambino
Guest
biteme said:
biteme you should fuckin know better, esp having been around the pike a few years like you have. that fairy tale love affair that you read about is bullshit
fitnessgrl8621
New member
I'm going through that right now, and yes, it sucks 
. I'm still in the relationship... and trying to everything to make it 'work'-- Nothing has been successful thus far, but I don't want to live without him. Uggggggh.
. I'm still in the relationship... and trying to everything to make it 'work'-- Nothing has been successful thus far, but I don't want to live without him. Uggggggh.
c00per
New member
biteme said:
Just going off all your posts, but you do seem to have problems moving on with your life and you end up spending too much time wallowing in self pity. Take an honest look at yourself and realise just how much you have to offer someone and how great you are and start walking through life with more confidence. It makes life much more fun.
If all else fails -- just order another one from the catalog.
G
Gambino
Guest
fitnessgrl8621 said:I'm going through that right now, and yes, it sucks
no offense but i never feel as sorry for the chic in a failed relationship, esp a hot one like yourself. in 2 weeks you'll proly have a new interest, where as a man takes a few months to fully recover.
M
*MissFit*
Guest
guys i dunno why do u keep trying to fix things that r so broken.. makes u wonder if u look for things that dont work on purpose..
Raptorex
New member
fitnessgrl8621 said:I'm going through that right now, and yes, it sucks
Don't worry baby, I'll come back someday.
M
*MissFit*
Guest
Nah most ppl drag things on and cause a lot more pain then necessary.. Yes when your truly in love it hurts like a bitch... but dragging the person u love and urself thru shit and mud.. doesnt make it any betteranthrax said:
anthrax said:
Agreed. It also depends on how & why things ended.
That said, I can't sit in misery for weeks or months on end. Eventually, I have to pick up the pieces and move on (maybe not to someone else, but I have to live). I can't hold on to stuff like that ... it does terrible things to me (loss of hair, lack of eating, etc.)
M
*MissFit*
Guest
Dogs chased cats and cars, humans chase rainbows.. i try hard to keep things in perspective because it is really easy to get wrapped up in shit...
G
Gambino
Guest
mightymouse69 said:
stilleto do you mind spotting mighty on squats today? big 115, let's get fired up
fitnessgrl8621
New member
Gambino said:
I don't think being attractive makes breaking up any easier. I'd hurt just as much as he would, probably more actually
.
I don't think that it makes it easier, but more people would be throwing themselves at you. Helps overcome the pain.fitnessgrl8621 said:I don't think being attractive makes breaking up any easier. I'd hurt just as much as he would, probably more actually
BTW, about that throwing themselves stuff, just tell me where the line starts.
C'mon. That was funny.
G
Gambino
Guest
fitnessgrl8621 said:I don't think being attractive makes breaking up any easier. I'd hurt just as much as he would, probably more actually
I'm just speaking from experience...here's what i have noticed in the past. girl and boy break up. girl is depressed for a few days then her girlie friends want to cheer her up and take her out...so they go out, and the 10 guys who have been waiting on deck are now cleared to approach the target. her girlfriends will be pushing doodes on her in order for her to recover faster (fuggin tricks)...before you know it she is dating another guy, usually within a month of the breakup. don't deny it i've seen this same situation played out numerous times, myself included.
I think the "hurt" we are talking about here is the hurt one feels when they are dumped and/or rejected by another person. Failed relationship? It doesnt hurt when youre the one doing the dumping. At least Ive never felt any residual sadness when Ive ended a relationship (mostly because I had a tendency to let them go on wayyyy too long to begin with so by the time Im ending it, it's like a fucking ray of sunshine and a new beginning).
I guess Ive never really been hurt or dumped so I cant speak to any of what you are experiencing.
I guess Ive never really been hurt or dumped so I cant speak to any of what you are experiencing.
fitnessgrl8621
New member
Gambino said:
Well, if I had girlfriends here they'd probably try to push on guys to help me get over it faster. But I just moved to Houston from WA State, haven't made too many friends. So, I'm sure he's not worried about friends trying to push other men on me hehe.. But I'm not denying that it does happen, I just don't think that being attractive factors in on how much 'pain' is felt after a breakup.
M
*MissFit*
Guest
Gambino said:
This is a male perspective. Women make it look eaiser but we go home and eat a bag of twinkies and just put on a happy face...
G
Gambino
Guest
fitnessgrl8621 said:Well, if I had girlfriends here they'd probably try to push on guys to help me get over it faster. But I just moved to Houston from WA State, haven't made too many friends. So, I'm sure he's not worried about friends trying to push other men on me hehe.. But I'm not denying that it does happen, I just don't think that being attractive factors in on how much 'pain' is felt after a breakup.
btw, my name is andrew
you have nice stems
Ok people. Enough with the gender generalizations. There is no way to say MEN TAKE IT EASIER or WOMEN DEAL WITH IT BETTER. It is completely dependent upon the individuals and the dynamics of that particular relationship. You cant make generalizations like that. Jeebus christ,
M
*MissFit*
Guest
Ice cream makes any pain go away
fitnessgrl8621
New member
Smurfy said:
Amen!
Relationships have been the greatest source of pain in my life, but also the greatest source of happiness.
I think that as you get older you learn how to manage them better, or at least manage your feelings better.
Weird that this time of year brings about relationship struggles in many.
I think that as you get older you learn how to manage them better, or at least manage your feelings better.
Weird that this time of year brings about relationship struggles in many.
M
*MissFit*
Guest
I think as people get older they take way too much baggage wtih them.. if you can't drop the suicases at the door how do u ever expect to find happiness with someone else?
And failed relationships only hurt as much as you let them.. Don't develop the poor my syndrome.. in most instances it's both peoples fault that the relationship ended. whether it be because they r at different places in thier lifes, want different things, couldn't let go of the past.. o boy the list goes on.
But god damnit stop dwelling on it and move on
And failed relationships only hurt as much as you let them.. Don't develop the poor my syndrome.. in most instances it's both peoples fault that the relationship ended. whether it be because they r at different places in thier lifes, want different things, couldn't let go of the past.. o boy the list goes on.
But god damnit stop dwelling on it and move on
I had one relationship end that hurt me.. because I knew how wrong I was and it was to late to fix it... that was the hurt I was feeling.
Other than that, no. I don't attach emotionally to anyone easily, almost never actually. The only two people in my life that I am that attached to are my kids.. other than that, if he goes he goes, no hard feeling and sulking for days.
Other than that, no. I don't attach emotionally to anyone easily, almost never actually. The only two people in my life that I am that attached to are my kids.. other than that, if he goes he goes, no hard feeling and sulking for days.
I think I'm just very sensitive. If I ever let my guard down, and let myself feel love for someone, I'll never forget them and when I think about them from time to time, I get a sad feeling. Or sometimes, I might get pissed. LOL Just thinking about my grandparents and the people that have died can bring me to tears.
B
BrothaBill
Guest
Smurfy said:
And out of nowhere the thread takes an unexpected turn
EnderJE said:So, you're saying that your dead inside, you robot? And I thought you cared...
No, there are a few that I love completely, would die if i ever lost them.. but not many. I just find it hard to let go in that way when it comes to relationships. I tend to feel it happening and I shut down faster than Klu infront of a donut shop
...Working on that fault though
I'm curious. How exactly do you "work" at it? Date alot of people and start loving them? Therapy? Drugs? How?Erzulie said:No, there are a few that I love completely, would die if i ever lost them.. but not many. I just find it hard to let go in that way when it comes to relationships. I tend to feel it happening and I shut down faster than Klu infront of a donut shop
Working on that fault though
fitnessgrl8621
New member
SublimeZM said:
I haven't cheated on him, but in the past he has cheated on me... And I can't seem to get past it. That's the majority of our problem, lack of trust. Without trust, what is there right?... and I know that, but it's still hard.
EnderJE said:
exactly the opposite..
Work on YOU first.. stay out of relationships if I can't get over that hump in my life. I have to face some of my past demons, let alot of shit go before I could ever give all of myself to someone with out the fear of being hurt. Its not until I'm ready to leave childhood scars behind and move past all of those that 'tried' to hurt me that I can ever become totally 'raw' in a relationship with someone.
and holding back on the 
. Don't worry, the high will wear off and I will be back to 
real soon.
vinylgroover
New member
i am hurting a lot right now.....have been for 6 months. I get on with life, but there is a hole and it's hard to not think about her.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and i open up to people which always puts me at risk of falling hard. People will call me soft or over-sensitive, but it takes more courage to wear your heart on your sleeve than to be the type that never lets your guard down.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and i open up to people which always puts me at risk of falling hard. People will call me soft or over-sensitive, but it takes more courage to wear your heart on your sleeve than to be the type that never lets your guard down.
K
Kakdiesel
Guest
vinylgroover said:
God, its been 3 years since i've seen your handle and
I still fucking hate you.PBR said:
I've learned not to really care what men say to me anymore. If I hear one more "I love you" or "promise of how you will be treated" just because they want to get laid, I think I will vomit.
To me, actions speak louder than words. Its the man who is there by your side holding your when things get tough, you are sick, going through a hard time with family that I will know loves me. It's the man who treats you like his best friend when he does not have to --because you are not around that will make me feel loved.
Fair weather friends and sex are easy...but its not love.
PBR
New member
starfish said:
I've learned not to really care what men say to me anymore. If I hear one more "I love you" or "promise of how you will be treated" just because they want to get laid, I think I will vomit.
To me, actions speak louder than words. Its the man who is there by your side holding your when things get tough, you are sick, going through a hard time with family that I will know loves me. It's the man who treats you like his best friend when he does not have to --because you are not around that will make me feel loved.
Fair weather friends and sex are easy...but its not love.
IMO, real "Love" is mostly unspoken...as you basically illustrated here in your post.
it is seen in the "eyes" thru which is the window to the soul....
Mavafanculo
New member
fitnessgrl8621 said:I don't think being attractive makes breaking up any easier. I'd hurt just as much as he would, probably more actually
It just seems like chicks get over busted relationships better/faster than guys do generally speaking.
hell most women usually line up the next guy before they break up with the current guy. So the guy is dealing with a fresh hurt, and the chick already moved on mentally even before the breakup.
vinylgroover
New member
Mavafanculo said:
girls can get a lot of attention very quickly........for guys it doesn't work that way, unless he's brad pitt. that will always help them move on quicker, if they choose to do so. girls also vent their pain or feelings which also helps get over things quicker whereas guys tend to keep it in.
K
Kakdiesel
Guest
Pervis Ellison said:God, its been 3 years since i've seen your handle and
after some deliberation and much thought...i really fucking still hate you
A
alien amp pharm
Guest
vinylgroover said:
My problem is that I open up too easily and too quickly in relationships.
Feelings are going to happen differently in each person, it's how you display those feelings that dictate what will occur. The more you open up and put your heart out there the more it is going to be painful when something bad happens.
I just can't hold back feelings and play mind games in relationships. I have to go full throtle or else I'm simply not as happy as I could be.
I'll take being happy and hurting worse at the end, over denying my feelings and keeping them supressed so that I don't hurt as bad at the end.
vinylgroover
New member
alien amp pharm said:
you can't change who you are. i've tried to hold back and play the mind games, but i have no patience for playing games. just go with what comes naturally.
