Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
H
heatherrae
Guest
Yeah, you could have brought your rake to really strike fear into him. ;-)biteme said:
blueta2
New member
Mr Plunkey, really you seem so intelligent (I actually like your posts) and wonder why you keep attacking Heather. Really, let it go. I can undersand KB attacking cause he's a classless punk, but you seem more spirited.
Really, HR is not doing any harm. You post on her threads to create drama or irk her.....man, seriously, You are better than this!
Really, HR is not doing any harm. You post on her threads to create drama or irk her.....man, seriously, You are better than this!
H
heatherrae
Guest
Well, I'm sure he was in the past before he met me, but like every relationship, people put their very best foot forward at first. It took several months of living with him before his facade started to crumble.stilleto said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
You give him entirely too much credit. He is just a nasty and toxic person. KB acts like a tool to impress, but he isn't a bad person underneath the bravado. Plunkey really is just a terrible human being.blueta2 said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
Thanks sweet thing.blueta2 said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
I don't lose any sleep over them...lol. I think it is funny that they follow me around to pick at me. That is sort of what losers did in High School when they were mad at the popular kids. Some people never outgrow that phase. ;-)blueta2 said:
mrplunkey
New member
... and blueta2, now you have your answer. I didn't want to respond to your initial question because I knew heatherrae would answer it for me.heatherrae said:
She's dug herself a nice, deep grave and now she spends 18 hours and 300 posts/day wallowing on an Internet chat board seeking attention and sympathy. What people here fail to realize is that she's worked very hard to put herself in the position she's in and therefore she's getting *exactly* what she deserves from life. I hope she's having fun with it.
I enjoyed one of her recent red karma messages that said: "I did work hard and am enjoying getting back to a six figure income and my freedom. I also enjoy that I'm not a souless bloodsuck monster like you." And of course I'm thinking... "yeah... you and all those *other* six-figure lawyers who spend 18 hours a day and 300 posts/day on an Internet chat site instead of billing hours." Unless she's found a way to bill clients for time on EF, she and her six-figure destiny aren't exactly on a "collision course".
H
heatherrae
Guest
mrplunkey said:
I didn't read all that. Boy you get all worked up. Is there a gas station between here and the end of your little rant?...hahaha
LOL....spew some more venom. LOL...you are still just my hanger on.
You seem terribly interested in my daily activities. You never even cross my mind...lol.
YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!
mrplunkey
New member
You thought about me enough to red me twice yesterday... So I guess I do cross your mind at least a little bitheatherrae said:LOL....spew some more venom. LOL...you are still just my hanger on.
You seem terribly interested in my daily activities. You never even cross my mind...lol.
YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!
Good lord you are pathetic. I'm gonna head out to the gym so I don't have to settle for some used-up skank like the one I'm arguing with on this thread.
Have a great day!
H
heatherrae
Guest
Yeah, maybe you can stalk someone that wont give you the time of day at the gym too. LOL.mrplunkey said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
really, you going now? LOL .... I red you when you follow. I have to spread around a little and then you will get some more today. Have a nice day!mrplunkey said:You thought about me enough to red me twice yesterday... So I guess I do cross your mind at least a little bit
Good lord you are pathetic. I'm gonna head out to the gym so I don't have to settle for some used-up skank like the one I'm arguing with on this thread.
Have a great day!
Honestly HR, I know he is a sick minded bastard. I know that he hurt you and what not but having a father is your babies right no matter how screwed up he is. After what you have gone through and the fact that you have a no contact abuse order on him, you should be able to gain complete custody of your child. And he will end up with supervised visits. It is also his right to that child and as much of a prick as he is do you really think that he will give up rights? He is gonna use that child to get to you!
Take the money and invest for your child, use your friend lawyer and get full custody with him getting sup visits through the state dept. You can prove that he is abusive, and btw, weren't you preg when he pulled his shit on you? That alone states that he does not give a child and will harm his child.
Take the money and invest for your child, use your friend lawyer and get full custody with him getting sup visits through the state dept. You can prove that he is abusive, and btw, weren't you preg when he pulled his shit on you? That alone states that he does not give a child and will harm his child.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Well, in all fairness to him, he didn't know I was pregnant when he did that. I didn't even know yet.Angel said:
I'm not trying to keep her from having a dad, but you don't know how screwed up he has made his other kids. Supervised visits are usually with a family member. He would choose his 18 year old son, if given the choice, and that kid is as bad as his father. The other scenario is that they would be supervised at a social workers place of business. That is a shitty thing to make her go do, believe me. I have practiced cases with supervised visits and they always suck. Plus, usually if things go well they will start giving the dad more and more rights for unsupervised visits.
All of his kids have mental problems as a result of him. Two of his ex-stepdaughters cut themselves and had reported him the child protection services for beating them. I only found these things out after I left him.
I just would be WORRIED to ever leave him alone with her.
Hopefully, one day I will remarry and she will have an awesome daddy in him. Maybe not. I will just have to do my best, but there is no way I'm going to let him damage her like he does everyone in his life.
His own mother won't even speak to him anymore. The man is out of control.
I understand the out of control deal. Five years later and I'm still dealing with a man who's sole purpose in life is to gain control of me. It's so sad to see the lengths he'll go to to try and make this happen. Even at the risk of hurting his own daughter. It's truly sad. I'm not saying there aren't women out there like this....but men baffle me when it comes to dealing with anger, children, control, rage, and jealousy.heatherrae said:
I'm at point now, where I'm scared of what he'll do next...even at the risk of hurting mini me. He's full of anger and it only seems to escalade as the days pass. Anger if not treated can only lead to danger.
H
heatherrae
Guest
I know what you mean. That is what I would fear for her. He is EXTREMELY jealous, controlling and angry. He resents his own kids. I just don't want her to have to see one of his tirades where he curses, throws things, etc.habitualhealth said:
I've been able to see this over the past several months but years as well. I understand men (and women) not being able to control their emotions but what baffles me is the lack of accountability and responsibility for taking action to correct the problem.reno240 said:
I mean really, if you knew you were causing continual destruction....with a clear pattern of it...wouldn't you WANT to make a change or at least get help to change?
I have to strongly disagree with Angel on this one.
I have known too many women in your situation, Heather, either personally or through volunteer work. You are doing the RIGHT thing making the choice to cut him out of your life. Protect your child from that influence at all costs. There is NO amount of money worth continued contact with someone like this, and he gave up his "right" to be a part of her life when he got violent.
She may develop some anger towards you over not having a father around but eventually she will understand, and it is your job as a parent to make that choice for her until she is old and wise enough to make it for herself.
Ugh...I feel like I'm lecturing when in truth all I'm saying is, "keep doing what you're already doing." It's a tough choice to make but it is absolutely the right one.
I have known too many women in your situation, Heather, either personally or through volunteer work. You are doing the RIGHT thing making the choice to cut him out of your life. Protect your child from that influence at all costs. There is NO amount of money worth continued contact with someone like this, and he gave up his "right" to be a part of her life when he got violent.
She may develop some anger towards you over not having a father around but eventually she will understand, and it is your job as a parent to make that choice for her until she is old and wise enough to make it for herself.
Ugh...I feel like I'm lecturing when in truth all I'm saying is, "keep doing what you're already doing." It's a tough choice to make but it is absolutely the right one.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Thanks girly. =-)nefertiti said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
When it started to dawn on me that he was not just a casual drinker and was really a violent alcoholic, I asked him to please seek treatment for alcoholism. His response was "Yeah, I know I'm an alcoholic, but I will NEVER stop drinking. It is your fault and the kid's fault. If I had normalcy in my life, I wouldn't have to drink."habitualhealth said:
Well, I solved one of his problems -- I left his life...lol. Eventually, his kids will too and will want little to do with him. I guess he will quit then when he doesn't have us to mess up his "normalcy"...lol.Oh sure - but I am not a very proud man. I can USUALLY admit when I am wrong. Forget admitting it - I can usually know when I am doing something wrong because I can put pride aside and be honest with myself. Sometimes anyway. A LOT of men and women cannot do this.habitualhealth said:
Yeah, you're in a tough boat. Clearly, all children need to have a LOVING father and mother in their lives. But what do you do when you KNOW malice and deceit are projecting from every angle? I have tried soooooo hard to protect mini me from the emotional negativity that he has caused.....he has done a number of horrible HORRIBLE things that she has been privy to. It tears my heart apart to think she's having to suffer or is going to have to suffer going forward as a result of this man, unwilling to seek help, being in her life.heatherrae said:
Funny thing is.....before he had money....love was all he had to offer. He's mutated into a monster.
H
heatherrae
Guest
That happens to people sometimes when they get money. They lose that soft vulnerability, sadly.habitualhealth said:Yeah, you're in a tough boat. Clearly, all children need to have a LOVING father and mother in their lives. But what do you do when you KNOW malice and deceit are projecting from every angle? I have tried soooooo hard to protect mini me from the emotional negativity that he has caused.....he has done a number of horrible HORRIBLE things that she has been privy to. It tears my heart apart to think she's having to suffer or is going to have to suffer going forward as a result of this man, unwilling to seek help, being in her life.
Funny thing is.....before he had money....love was all he had to offer. He's mutated into a monster.
I always thought it was odd when I first moved in that whenever I spoke to people they would say, "You must be a saint. How do you live with him?" I actually have never met a single person who liked him.
I used to always stick up for him to other people.Sorry about your situation with the ex. UGH! Sometimes people are too consumed with their own emotions to consider the best thing to do for their kids. Just persevere, girl.
Thanks momma.heatherrae said:That happens to people sometimes when they get money. They lose that soft vulnerability, sadly.
I always thought it was odd when I first moved in that whenever I spoke to people they would say, "You must be a saint. How do you live with him?" I actually have never met a single person who liked him.
Sorry about your situation with the ex. UGH! Sometimes people are too consumed with their own emotions to consider the best thing to do for their kids. Just persevere, girl.
It's funny, same boat...no matter what he did to hurt me time and time again, I was always defending him to my family and friends. Eventually, running them all away. Clearly I was living my own lie but being the overly optimistic that I am...I kept hope alive. Maybe thinking the more people I defended him to...oh lawd, I don't know. There's never a rational reason for allowing someone to disrespct you and hurt you. Eber neber.
I'm a man damnit! (minus the penis of course)
all the whey
New member
Damn.
It sounds like those jealous, insane, controlling, violent, psycho, and just plain bad guys pull some some serious tail.
It sounds like those jealous, insane, controlling, violent, psycho, and just plain bad guys pull some some serious tail.
not anymore. *wink*all the whey said:
that's funny, i'm not drawn you you though.KillahBee said:
c'mere, gimme a hug you greasy baystard.
that's the nicest thing any man has ever said to me.KillahBee said:
can we date?
H
heatherrae
Guest
Yeah, if a GIRL has a BF that turns into an asshole, it is because SHE is crazy.KillahBee said:
and if a GUY has a GF that turns into an asshole, it is because SHE is crazy.
Anyone else see how clever this little KB character is? lol.
PS -- When that enormous vagina you're sporting bleeds honey, don't be afraid. You will have finally hit puberty then and that flat chest may fill out too.
Last edited:
youch.....i should've seen that one coming.heatherrae said:Yeah, if a GIRL has a BF that turns into an asshole, it is because SHE is crazy.
and if a GUY has a GF that turns into an asshole, it is because SHE is crazy.
Anyone else see how clever this little KB character is? lol.
PS -- When that enormous vagina you're sporting bleeds honey, don't be afraid. You will have finally hit puberty then and that flat chest may fill out too.
she's got a point KB. it's never the emotionally unstable, insecure, egomaniacle, self loathing, controlling baystards who prey. i was full of life, energy, spunk, optimism, love, confident, STRONG....yada yada all the other froo froo words before i met my ex. 2-3 years with him really did me in. for some stupido reason, even though i had everything going for me, he came in and made me feel as if he was the only way i would be validated as a woman.
good thing i'm back to being fabulous again. whew.
H
heatherrae
Guest
that is what people don't understand. These guys don't start out being mean to you --quite the opposite. Mine would bring me unexpected presents, flowers, cards, and was very kind at first. I think he probably had all intentions to be a good fiance and then husband. But toxic people can only hide their true selves for so long.habitualhealth said:
These people gradually start calling you names during fights and you thing "that is mean but not enough to leave."
Then they call you names here and there when you aren't fighting.
Then they slowly start to try to alienate you from your friends and family.
Then the real abuse starts with grabbing your wrists during a fight, then a push during one, and it excalates.
Very few just beat you up on the first date...lol.
It is a slow process. you get ACCOSTOMED to one level of abuse, and then they ratchet it up a notch.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Well, you know that it isn't nice to call your loved ones names, but that was just my example of the mildest, initial forms of abuse.youngguns said:
Don't call each other names, sweetie. Really, try to make it a point. You can never take those names back and then there is that cloud of disrespect in the air forever. It is so toxic.
Ya.. I feel really bad when I do. But sometime I feel like I need to. Like last night, we were in the gym and the fire alarm went off, so we had to stand outside freezing. We ended up crossing the road and warming up in a pizza place. When people were going back into the gym, we left the pizza place, and she ran across the road the side we were on were stopped, but the light just turned green and she crossed the road without looking and was SO close to getting hit by a car, and I called her an idiot like 5 times I was so mad. ahhhhheatherrae said:Well, you know that it isn't nice to call your loved ones names, but that was just my example of the mildest, initial forms of abuse.
Don't call each other names, sweetie. Really, try to make it a point. You can never take those names back and then there is that cloud of disrespect in the air forever. It is so toxic.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Ah, most people do. =-) Just wouldnt it be wonderful to have a relationship where you never remember your lover calling you a name? Maybe I'm overly romantic, but I would aspire to that.youngguns said:
I suppose, but the way I see it is, the name you call, is the level of anger. I have always been the kind of person to swear when I am angery, so when I say it, it doesn't necessarily mean shes an "idiot" but that I am very upset with certain actions, ...btw am I the only person that makes sense to?heatherrae said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
Idiot is sort of mild. I was referring more to my ex beginning to scatter conversations with calling me "whore" "cunt" "bitch" and the like. Then, he started just calling me that anywhere. He called me a whore at dinner one night LOUD in front of the waiter and all the patrons just stopped talking and stared at us. It was TERRIBLE!youngguns said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
youngguns said:
I said "just take me home please. You have ruined the night, anyway."
He just got up and left me there for about a half an hour. This is how he ALWAYS acted when he started getting deeper and deeper into alcoholism.
He had started drinking way less when he met me, so I didn't know. Then I guess he got complacent that he had me and went back to drinking very HEAVILY. He is just one of those MEAN drunks.
Turd Ferguson
New member
Any father that would even consider giving up his child should have no right to see them. That is just plain wrong, sick, and sad. A kid need a father as well as a mother.heatherrae said:
If the proper respect is in place then I can't imagine why it's ever ok to speak in this manner to someone you care about.youngguns said:
I guess you can't win 'em all. Good thing you are out though, look at it that way. I just don't like when me and my girlfriend fight, I mean, we have got INTO it let me tell you, so loud you could hear her from a mile away. Whatever I think it's a good relationship, I don't need someone telling me what I feel or should feel or what she should be doing either, if she and I are find and happy, I really don't care what people think. (I said that because some of my friends think I'm mean to her)heatherrae said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
Even if that father picks up television sets and hurls them at the kids' heads? Even if the father punched his 13 year old in the stomach after ripping her door off the hinges when she tried to run from him? Even when he gets drunk and drives them around in the dark with no headlights on and calls them "cunts" "whores" etc just because they have their first crush on a boy?Turd Ferguson said:
I think sometimes a girl is better off without her BIOLOGICAL daddy. She will have an EXCELLENT Godfather to mentor her and provide a male presence. Plus, I know my dad will spoil her too.
Turd Ferguson
New member
People can change. Your starting to sound like JH1. Your daughter is always going to wonder where her daddy is. And your going to always have to dodge the question.heatherrae said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
Honey, he hasn't expressed an interest in seeing her. If he did, then I would have to think harder about it. But his oldest stepdaughter is in her 20's and his abusive behavior toward his children has been going on for 18 years now! That is a LONG TIME to change if you are going to change. He is a raging alcoholic. Would you send that little precious boy to his mom's house if you saw her beat a child, drive drunk with him in the car, etc? I don't think you would feel safe doing that. Neither do I feel my child would be safe. End of story. Mother putting her foot down and counting to three.Turd Ferguson said:
No way in fucking hell, I'm going to subject her to one minute of his abuse. If he wants to see her, he better change first by attending AA and being sober for many months, anger managment and supervised visits. He isn't going to practice being a normal human being while watching my baby. He better get his shit together well in advance. The first time he called her a name or abused her in any way, I would fucking drown him in the Manatee River. End of story.
Turd Ferguson said:
Or they don't change and your 13 year old daughter comes to you with a handful of pills and says 'I'm going to die tonight - I can't deal with him hitting you, hitting me, trying to rape me.'
She can be honest about 'where daddy is' and why she isn't with him. What's the point in dodging the question?
Turd Ferguson
New member
I don't disagree. But you are making a decision about the first 18 years of your daughters life for her. If he dosen't want to see her then good thats what you want anyway. Just saying your gonna be asked that question. And you could still do superivsed visits if your worried about a laps. Not sure that is a better secenario. But is an option.heatherrae said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
exactly! This is not me being angry with him about me, because frankly I never shed a tear over leaving him. It HONESTLY is a mental health and safety issue for the baby.wlmcrae said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
Well, you never know, maybe she and I will have a wonderful man come into our lives when she is still a baby and he will be the daddy. I'm not seeking it actively, right now, but it would be possible. I would tell her the truth about her biological dad and she may be resentful, but it the decision that I feel is safest and best for her.Turd Ferguson said:
Turd Ferguson
New member
wlmcrae said:
Lets say your the kid. And you ask your mom why your dad dosen't see you. Whats a good answer that dosen't fuck the kid up? Is it worse than getting raped no. Bottom line is that it is a lose lose situation.
Turd Ferguson
New member
heatherrae said:
Understood. What I find sad is that nobody can help your ex. Not that it is your job, but you would think the people he has hurt could say, this behavior is wrong and you need to change. And he would take it to heart.
H
heatherrae
Guest
I think telling her that I love her and that her biological father had addiction problems that made it impossible for him to be trusted with her safety will just have to do. I won't tell her that really he hasn't expressed any interest in being a man enough to see her, because that would only hurt her.Turd Ferguson said:
Turd Ferguson
New member
Thats about all you can do. Gets complicated. But not a show stopper.heatherrae said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
Oh gosh, Turd. I tried and tried. I would sit him down and tell him how I loved him but that his drinking was out of control and that I would support him if he needed AA or rehab.Turd Ferguson said:
He would say that it was all my fault and the childrens fault that he HAS TO drink. He bluntly told me "I will never quit drinking, so you can take it or leave it, Bitch."
He went from this super charming, ultra romantic guy to a monster over a period of a few months. It was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Underneath it all, he is the monster. He only put on the Prince Charming act until he had me in his house and had taken away some of my power to leave.
It is difficult to explain until you have been there.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Nah, it will be okay. I feel it in my heart. I love her to pieces and she is only about 5 inches long at this time....lol. It will be okay.Turd Ferguson said:Thats about all you can do. Gets complicated. But not a show stopper.
Turd Ferguson
New member
I get it. The consoler we went to said that all problems in a marriage can be worked out except for three things. Addition, Abuse, and Adultry. You have 2 of the 3 LOL.heatherrae said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
actually, I had 3 of the 3. I found he had been writing checks to some girl named rachel for $350/week for a few months. It just wasn't a salvagable relationship. He will never be happy. He is a sad miserable person. Actually, I rarely even think about him at all, anymore unless he pulls a stunt like trying to rob my storage unit.Turd Ferguson said:
Turd Ferguson
New member
heatherrae said:
HA! I wish I could say the same thing. I do think about the ex. Fill up the space with the GF. I honestly think I could be happy just having my son full time emotionally. A girl could. You could just every now and then do your hair up a bit, put on some make up, go to the super market and randomly ask the guys you thought were cute "wanna go fuck in the parking lot"? soner or later you would get a hit, have some crazy monkey sex, then off with them.
In my most tumultous relationship, we never called names. It may not be abuse (in all cases), but it's certainly, as one of the previous ladies suggested, "toxic."
Heather spelled it out but I can back up what she said. Truely abusive relationships don't follow the same patterns as "asshole guy/insecure girl." The guy is perfect for a while. Long enough to suck you in. "Too good to be true" is something I've heard a lot. Then it starts small...an argument that got out of hand. Name calling. Always followed by the most manipulative apology known to man. Sometimes there are tears, often actions are blamed on alcohol, promises are made. Often by the time a woman realizes what is happening to her, she's already isolated (or thinks she is), dependant on him financially (by his design), and blaming herself for setting him off. One woman I knew told me that she used to pick a fight with him when she could sense an outburst was coming. She sensed him being more tense, sensed that the cycle was about to repeat, and she would intentionally pick a fight with him so that at least she could "get it over with" and know when it was coming. Women with children will do this especially to try and get the violent episodes "out of the way" before the kids come home. Then later, she'd blame herself, because - well, she picked the fight.
I personally commend Heather and Habitual for getting out, especially given that there are children in the picture.
Heather spelled it out but I can back up what she said. Truely abusive relationships don't follow the same patterns as "asshole guy/insecure girl." The guy is perfect for a while. Long enough to suck you in. "Too good to be true" is something I've heard a lot. Then it starts small...an argument that got out of hand. Name calling. Always followed by the most manipulative apology known to man. Sometimes there are tears, often actions are blamed on alcohol, promises are made. Often by the time a woman realizes what is happening to her, she's already isolated (or thinks she is), dependant on him financially (by his design), and blaming herself for setting him off. One woman I knew told me that she used to pick a fight with him when she could sense an outburst was coming. She sensed him being more tense, sensed that the cycle was about to repeat, and she would intentionally pick a fight with him so that at least she could "get it over with" and know when it was coming. Women with children will do this especially to try and get the violent episodes "out of the way" before the kids come home. Then later, she'd blame herself, because - well, she picked the fight.
I personally commend Heather and Habitual for getting out, especially given that there are children in the picture.
Jimsbbc
New member
An alcoholic cannot be trusted, especially when pride fueled narcissism is keeping them in denial and from admitting they have a problem. It is common for the alcoholic to refuse treatment and cast blame for their problem. Violent behavior is not uncommon either, and it has occurred in our family too. The cost has been more than I could possibly have imagined it would be. My family has been so wounded and hurt emotionally and mentally that it far outweighs the damage financially, having engaged in legal fights for custody, etc. Most people don’t understand how helpless the victims are in every way and how hard it is to hold the alcoholic accountable for anything, let alone force them into treatment. In our case, the best thing would be for my Dad’s sister to get thrown in jail for a few years so that her daughter could finish high school and go off to college and hopefully emerge self-sufficient. Hopefully the violence and destruction my Aunt has inflicted on her daughter will not ruin her life.
The doctor told her she had six months to live unless she entered a year long program. She contacted her enabler, my Grandmother, for financial support, and is now back to drinking Scope and McCormick’s vodka. My Grandmother has been floating them financially with about 8k a month so that she doesn’t have to hold a job (kept getting fired for drinking) and can drink all day. It is really a test in anger management to let them keep living, in all honesty. My Dad has paid a real price with regard to mental health taking on his mother and sister (they have a co-dependent relationship) legally and trying to do the right thing. It makes me angry just thinking about it.
The doctor told her she had six months to live unless she entered a year long program. She contacted her enabler, my Grandmother, for financial support, and is now back to drinking Scope and McCormick’s vodka. My Grandmother has been floating them financially with about 8k a month so that she doesn’t have to hold a job (kept getting fired for drinking) and can drink all day. It is really a test in anger management to let them keep living, in all honesty. My Dad has paid a real price with regard to mental health taking on his mother and sister (they have a co-dependent relationship) legally and trying to do the right thing. It makes me angry just thinking about it.
Turd Ferguson
New member
Its not just girls who get treated this way my friend.nefertiti said:
Turd Ferguson
New member
Scope and Vodka, WTF. Get some orange juice or somfin.Jimsbbc said:
Turd, I'm aware that women can be abusive as well. I am far from trying to make men out to be these awful creatures. I love men! I was just responding to a previous statement that women who get into these relationships are empty/insecure/etc. If the comment had been about men, I would have structured my response as such.
Turd Ferguson
New member
nefertiti said:
"The guy is perfect for a while. Long enough to suck you in"
Again...structured in response to a statement about the asshole guy/weak girl comment. Relationships where the woman is manipulative and eventually abusive follow a similar path but have a slightly different dynamic. I could go on about that, too, but I was responding to a specific stereotype. Like I said...I am not one of those people who denies that this sort of thing can go both ways with either gender.
txbondsman
New member
WOW.... I read most of the pages, but got tired about page 6, sorry if I rehash anything.
First, HR, did you geta sonagram while I was gone? you keep refering to our EF baby as "she", why would you do that to a fine young man!?
As a man who fought for child custody 2 years from Tx to NM for his son, I have a little bit of knowledge on this. btw, my son AND his mom live with me, for the last 6 years, life's funny huhh. after all the money and courts and attorneys and the hate, etc...
I believe that your atty friends will tell you to forget the stalking. I you can't stalk peoples belongings. Go the criminal treaspassing if the storage people will help you, they need to file a complaint against him as well, they may have to give him a warning from the police before that can be done, that's the way it is here anyway. May think about fraud, I'd have to research that statute somemore, but it holds promise too.
The ol' "do I or don't I" accept the child support delemma, hummm. That isn't your money, it baby boy's, so normally you'ld be obliged to take it and with that the child visitation. Now, before you start screaming the the monitor, I want you to listen. Unless there are multiple complaints and probably resulting arrests form his prior behavior, he won't be the scourge of the court sysytem as you have posted. I have been sitting in court countless times and the husband, BF, wife, GF, whatever is accused of everything, beating his kids, spousal abuse, and worse, but the judge without proper documentation of complaints/arrests, just sees it as hearsay, as most would. In other words, hesaid-shesaid doesn't hold water to the court. If you have the documentation, go ahead and get it now, you may need it at somepoint. A raving alcoholic, as you called him, or some faxsimility of that, may have multiple DWI's, another thing that gives your argument validity.
First, HR, did you geta sonagram while I was gone? you keep refering to our EF baby as "she", why would you do that to a fine young man!?
As a man who fought for child custody 2 years from Tx to NM for his son, I have a little bit of knowledge on this. btw, my son AND his mom live with me, for the last 6 years, life's funny huhh. after all the money and courts and attorneys and the hate, etc...
I believe that your atty friends will tell you to forget the stalking. I you can't stalk peoples belongings. Go the criminal treaspassing if the storage people will help you, they need to file a complaint against him as well, they may have to give him a warning from the police before that can be done, that's the way it is here anyway. May think about fraud, I'd have to research that statute somemore, but it holds promise too.
The ol' "do I or don't I" accept the child support delemma, hummm. That isn't your money, it baby boy's, so normally you'ld be obliged to take it and with that the child visitation. Now, before you start screaming the the monitor, I want you to listen. Unless there are multiple complaints and probably resulting arrests form his prior behavior, he won't be the scourge of the court sysytem as you have posted. I have been sitting in court countless times and the husband, BF, wife, GF, whatever is accused of everything, beating his kids, spousal abuse, and worse, but the judge without proper documentation of complaints/arrests, just sees it as hearsay, as most would. In other words, hesaid-shesaid doesn't hold water to the court. If you have the documentation, go ahead and get it now, you may need it at somepoint. A raving alcoholic, as you called him, or some faxsimility of that, may have multiple DWI's, another thing that gives your argument validity.
This is why I'm not sure what to tell you about involving your ex with mini you. Try having all of those things said to you in addition to "you're a skanky slutty disgrace of a mother and i hope you never see your child again"......"you're a loser mother"...."i hope she never grows up to be like you, you loser excuse of a mother". And this is a man that wants me to believe he loves me?? Blaaahhh horse poop.heatherrae said:
Regardless of what a stellar parent you are, to hear someone you ACTUALLY loved (how in the hell, i don't know) badger you, degrade, and attack you as a parent....it hurts. No one deserves that and should NEVER be subjected to it. The you run the risk of him saying all of those things IN FRONT of your child. That part is what really cuts.
Prob is, they know this. Buttheads.
There should be an island where all of these bobos are shipped off to. I'm sure it'd be easier to deal with each other than with normal civilization.
habitualhealth said:
Those are about the most immature ridiculous tirades I could possibly imagine. It's the equivalent of having a 4 year old call another 4 year old a "poopy head". I am surprised they gave that man a drivers license and let him walk around without a helmet and a leash.
txbondsman
New member
also, let's ass-u-me that he would want to have some sort of visitation, and he is really a stark raving lunatic, you can request that he take an MMPI evaluation, paid for by you, that is most of the time a double edged sword, you may be required to take it as well, especially if he has a decent atty. If you use a good psycologist, this will tell everything about him down to his favorite food, it's very informative. The judge may take that into consideration.
If he has a severe drinking problem, request a business that handles visitation, not a relative, etc. At most supervised visitation business, they have a rule about alcohol consumption/intoxication. Some even have the breathalyzers, they had ask for the person to blow if alcohol is suspected. They can either blow and pass, refuse or fail and the report is given to the guardian ad litem or judge, or both, whichever is appropriate. If he drinks as much as you say he does, he will fail here very quickly, 1 maybe 2 visits at most.
Those are a few things to think about, but rest assured, at some point, either he or the child will want to have contact. If he signs over the parental rihts now, in Texas he would have to pay all back child support and then start monthly payments. I'm not sure what happens if your child wants to see him at age ...say, 13, if he is required to pay anything. You may want to check that out.
Your in my thoughts, anything that I can do to help, just ask.
T
( it's unfortunate that I know how these things go ) This kind of experience is expensive, try not to buy it twice!
If he has a severe drinking problem, request a business that handles visitation, not a relative, etc. At most supervised visitation business, they have a rule about alcohol consumption/intoxication. Some even have the breathalyzers, they had ask for the person to blow if alcohol is suspected. They can either blow and pass, refuse or fail and the report is given to the guardian ad litem or judge, or both, whichever is appropriate. If he drinks as much as you say he does, he will fail here very quickly, 1 maybe 2 visits at most.
Those are a few things to think about, but rest assured, at some point, either he or the child will want to have contact. If he signs over the parental rihts now, in Texas he would have to pay all back child support and then start monthly payments. I'm not sure what happens if your child wants to see him at age ...say, 13, if he is required to pay anything. You may want to check that out.
Your in my thoughts, anything that I can do to help, just ask.
T
( it's unfortunate that I know how these things go ) This kind of experience is expensive, try not to buy it twice!
You're soooo right. I learned so many lessons from this man, took verbal beating after beating.....it has taken him trying to take my daughter away from me to open my eyes to what he's truly all about. Sad huh?reno240 said:
ps-that made me laugh, poopy head.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Thanks dear. =-) I understand the legal issues. (You forget that I practiced family law ;-)txbondsman said:
No, I'm not obligated to seek support. It really is my choice to do or not do. And yes, continually harassing someone even when done through third party contact (as in the storage unit) can rise to the level of stalking.
Also, he does have a history with child protective services spanning over a decade. They have had to remove his children from both his home and his ex-wife's home in the past. They had to stay with their grandparents, and then the grandparents f'd up, too. It is a wonder they are not wards of the state. I WISH I had run a background check on him when I met him. I had no idea until we broke up and child protection services came over to the house to investigate why he was hitting me in front of his daughter. The lady told me everything about his past and said to me that I better leave him or "he will hurt you, bad."
So, pretty much over my dead body will he be alone with my kid.
txbondsman
New member
heatherrae said:
well, there you go then... I didn't know that you practiced family law, you could have been in realestate!
Damn, and I wrote all that for nothing, I do this 2 finger hunt and peck thing, takes for ever to write somethign that long! U O me now.
and about the sonagram? what?
i just think it's funny you're insane ex just earned you thread of the week. pfft.
H
heatherrae
Guest
lol...at least he was worth something.habitualhealth said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
Oh, no they can't tell for another 2 weeks if she is a girl or not. I just think she is. If she isn't a little girl, I'm going to have a very traumatized little boy, but he will look ver cute in his little dresses. I Keed! I keed.txbondsman said:well, there you go then... I didn't know that you practiced family law, you could have been in realestate!
Damn, and I wrote all that for nothing, I do this 2 finger hunt and peck thing, takes for ever to write somethign that long! U O me now.
and about the sonagram? what?
H
heatherrae
Guest
I'm taking applications.jon79 said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
LOL....my waist has expanded and my legs are all swollen. Yummy...lol.EnderJE said:
H
heatherrae
Guest
yeah, email me a resume, pictures, and an essay entitled "why I would be a great boyfriend." LOL.jon79 said:
Similar threads
