Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
Redneck Species
Preface
A new species of redneck has been documented within the last seventy years. Although the redneck is at best a filthy animal we choose to study him for his wild and unpredicably spastic manuevers. The choice redneck for this study is the hardcore redneck and its closest relatives. Our redneck is the most cigar-smolering species of redneck in North America and has exceptionally long tolearance for toxic ass-gasses and possess the ability to consume pounds of tabasco flavored impounded steel in a single shitting.
Redneck Characterists: individual and social
Due to the rednecks thousand year consumption of shit-in-a-barrel they evolved artichoke heart and swatistia amputated knee-cap which are believed to enhance its ability to smoke-choke rodents and bullshit salesmen moving across the open land. The hardcore beer-and-steel redneck mates in asscrack paste and often uses burrows into territories of raw material such as rusted steel, rotted wood, rotting flesh, and cow dung taken from other filthy animals. The redneck population arises in the shape of a twisted wooden cigar. These constructions have been termed as 'beat your wife' dens as set at the 10th annual redneck convention.
Family Life
Females produce one litter a year usually of 900 miniture fully formed unruly squint-eye rednecks; the signs of survival are certain: an enlarged potbelly, a filthy beard, and a savage 'I'll rape your mother' attitude. Massive forearms develop within the first three months after the redneck has left the womb and is a sure sign of a serial rapist at work. A true hardcore redneck develops its lust for beer at an early stage usually three minutes after birth. It is rare to see a wild redneck mother breast feed her child instead opting for a hearty slap in the ass and a few filthy remarks such as 'whipe yer ass' and 'get your own friggen beer.' A child redneck, if it is to survive, must learn to hunt and gather beer wherever available. The mental capcity of a redneck does not change much after birth which lends evidence to the thesis that a redneck survives purely on a grits-and-shits instinct. Although the redneck female arises from the same filthy slime as the male, after bearing children, the female forms indistinguishable from the male. As a result, rednecks attract other women from the human species with their alluring ass-gas-toxicity-breath. Oftentimes, since the breath kills the desired woman, the redneck must beat, capture, and shit on her in order to preserve the species. The role of rape cannot be understimated; it through these means that the rednecks establishes his dominance and no doubt is correlated to the aformentioned 'I'll rape your mother' attitude.
Gender Distinction
Male beer and steel rednecks have wooden barrels and brow ridges and large greyhound buses and beercan tumbling pigs in a blanket; these features are less developed in females and define the sexwars syndrome. Females are more twitching than males, weighing about half as much (although still double the weight of a typical male American Fatass). Dominant older males, called Harly Davidson, usually lead The Marlboro Man in a daily search for hollowed out pot belly. The animals normally slide on a toxic array of splashed moonshine, resting their upper body on a can of brown shit man aerosol. They are niglet, living on a variety of pigs n jiggers pie, filthy out rigger burrito and cheap Jack B. Nipple ass naked nipplets.
External Reaction
The bunneth baldman species frowns in disapproval. Although they may move about their royal armor during the day, they are basically nocturnal smokers. The snack n jaxon intended for other redneck children has caused their fricken crater accopained by the rotting flesh to appear without stop or breath. During the Times of Lore, rednecks are not commonly held to have exist. Rather the redneck arose from a a more recent crisis in the eve of civilization although various prototypes to the redneck existed for many centuries prior to the true creation of the redneck species. Examples to be taken most seriously include the grit-em pirate, buckwild norewegian berserker, the elephant man, and the still extant swine, hog, and jackal populations.
Warfare
A royal hardcore beer and steel redneck is crowned Pigface Carnivore of a particular 1000 ft radius of asscrack paste. For weeks they have a feud with trill ass Jax Snackson and then it's finally time for Wrestlemania. The redneck theme song starts. Pigface Carnviore is going to settle this feud over the bloated lard rotting face heavyweight title. And then Frank Wank music starts. Suddenly the steel cage lowers and the match commenses...
Preface
A new species of redneck has been documented within the last seventy years. Although the redneck is at best a filthy animal we choose to study him for his wild and unpredicably spastic manuevers. The choice redneck for this study is the hardcore redneck and its closest relatives. Our redneck is the most cigar-smolering species of redneck in North America and has exceptionally long tolearance for toxic ass-gasses and possess the ability to consume pounds of tabasco flavored impounded steel in a single shitting.
Redneck Characterists: individual and social
Due to the rednecks thousand year consumption of shit-in-a-barrel they evolved artichoke heart and swatistia amputated knee-cap which are believed to enhance its ability to smoke-choke rodents and bullshit salesmen moving across the open land. The hardcore beer-and-steel redneck mates in asscrack paste and often uses burrows into territories of raw material such as rusted steel, rotted wood, rotting flesh, and cow dung taken from other filthy animals. The redneck population arises in the shape of a twisted wooden cigar. These constructions have been termed as 'beat your wife' dens as set at the 10th annual redneck convention.
Family Life
Females produce one litter a year usually of 900 miniture fully formed unruly squint-eye rednecks; the signs of survival are certain: an enlarged potbelly, a filthy beard, and a savage 'I'll rape your mother' attitude. Massive forearms develop within the first three months after the redneck has left the womb and is a sure sign of a serial rapist at work. A true hardcore redneck develops its lust for beer at an early stage usually three minutes after birth. It is rare to see a wild redneck mother breast feed her child instead opting for a hearty slap in the ass and a few filthy remarks such as 'whipe yer ass' and 'get your own friggen beer.' A child redneck, if it is to survive, must learn to hunt and gather beer wherever available. The mental capcity of a redneck does not change much after birth which lends evidence to the thesis that a redneck survives purely on a grits-and-shits instinct. Although the redneck female arises from the same filthy slime as the male, after bearing children, the female forms indistinguishable from the male. As a result, rednecks attract other women from the human species with their alluring ass-gas-toxicity-breath. Oftentimes, since the breath kills the desired woman, the redneck must beat, capture, and shit on her in order to preserve the species. The role of rape cannot be understimated; it through these means that the rednecks establishes his dominance and no doubt is correlated to the aformentioned 'I'll rape your mother' attitude.
Gender Distinction
Male beer and steel rednecks have wooden barrels and brow ridges and large greyhound buses and beercan tumbling pigs in a blanket; these features are less developed in females and define the sexwars syndrome. Females are more twitching than males, weighing about half as much (although still double the weight of a typical male American Fatass). Dominant older males, called Harly Davidson, usually lead The Marlboro Man in a daily search for hollowed out pot belly. The animals normally slide on a toxic array of splashed moonshine, resting their upper body on a can of brown shit man aerosol. They are niglet, living on a variety of pigs n jiggers pie, filthy out rigger burrito and cheap Jack B. Nipple ass naked nipplets.
External Reaction
The bunneth baldman species frowns in disapproval. Although they may move about their royal armor during the day, they are basically nocturnal smokers. The snack n jaxon intended for other redneck children has caused their fricken crater accopained by the rotting flesh to appear without stop or breath. During the Times of Lore, rednecks are not commonly held to have exist. Rather the redneck arose from a a more recent crisis in the eve of civilization although various prototypes to the redneck existed for many centuries prior to the true creation of the redneck species. Examples to be taken most seriously include the grit-em pirate, buckwild norewegian berserker, the elephant man, and the still extant swine, hog, and jackal populations.
Warfare
A royal hardcore beer and steel redneck is crowned Pigface Carnivore of a particular 1000 ft radius of asscrack paste. For weeks they have a feud with trill ass Jax Snackson and then it's finally time for Wrestlemania. The redneck theme song starts. Pigface Carnviore is going to settle this feud over the bloated lard rotting face heavyweight title. And then Frank Wank music starts. Suddenly the steel cage lowers and the match commenses...
Last edited:
