Do You Have to be Ruthless to be Financially Successful?

[nefertiti]

I'm aware that it effects women more, definitely....but there are a lot of reasons you see less women millionaires, and looks bias is only one of those reasons.

 

[all the whey]

I have never seen a fat female VP at any company i've worked at.

They're great for those low paying monkey jobs and government jobs.

They're also extremely lazy. I once had to spend 3 weeks fighting HR, full of heifers, trying to get a damn check replaced. They were too busy yappin' away about last night's sex in the city. Way to keep up stereotypes.

r

Yeah.

But, the main part of the study was total household income. Fat chicks have to marry poor guys.

You see a fat chick VP more often than a fat chick with a very wealthy man.

 

[Smurfy]

I was having a hard time defining that myself, actually, which is why I left it sort of open.

But I guess, for the purposes of debate, I'd say cash compensation (not counting company cars, or pensions or other benefits) of no less than $250K, I think it's a safe bet many doctors and lawyers make that kind of money and I already know how many hours they put in and what most of their personal lives are like.

$250k?

ok then the answer to your question is No, you do not have to be ruthless to make $250k a year or more

 

[nefertiti]

I have never seen a fat female VP at any company i've worked at.

They're great for those low paying monkey jobs and government jobs.

They're also extremely lazy. I once had to spend 3 weeks fighting HR, full of heifers, trying to get a damn check replaced. They were too busy yappin' away about last night's sex in the city. Way to keep up stereotypes.

r

That's why, no matter how much I sometimes get aggravated with comments like, "She just got xyz because she's pretty," No matter how hard I've worked, no matter what my diploma says and where I got it from, it is - in small part - true. And it's better to be on this side of the bias than that side. Just a fact of life.

 

[all the whey]

I'm aware that it effects women more, definitely....but there are a lot of reasons you see less women millionaires, and looks bias is only one of those reasons.

Did you know that women now control almost 75% of the wealth in the US?

 

[nefertiti]

Did you know that women now control almost 75% of the wealth in the US?

Subtract the waltons and other inheritance wealth women from that and send me the figures again, haha

I read recently that we're expected to control 60% by 2010, though.

 

[musclemom]

Life is give and take.

Being successful means going the extra mile, EXCELLING at something, being LEADER at what you do.

This requires

Intelligence. Luck. Time. Money.

If you subtract one, you have to make it up in the others.

So having kids - is a give and take. That is life. Do you want kids, or do you want to be successful? We all only have 24 hours a day. Less if you still have a day job.

The "spend 2 hours a day and make on ebay and still have time for soccer practice!" is what unsavory men on late night TV sell to the masses. And they just buy it right up. They "dream".

This is why I advocate nomarriage.com. Focus first on your goals, your dreams, fulfill them first, THEN marry. I'm not married. No kids. Got lots to do first.

For you: I'd go for time. Subtract from that. That means no instant success - but if you set a goal, and give yourself 5 years to do it -- you can still achieve the same success, a single person could in 1/2 year. And you still have time for your kids.

Give and Take. Life 101.

r

Unfortunately, nobody gave me or my current husband that lesson when we were 18. Now I am 43 and he is 54. Our total household income peaked at well under $100k a few years ago and has only been creeping down ever since. He doesn't want to start over in a new company and neither of us is willing to give up his paid time off.

The only goal we've set is that when he gets old enough to cash in his 401K and pension we're pulling up stakes, selling the house, and starting over somewhere warm. The idea of retirement is out of the question and the house was a piss-poor investment from the word go. I just hope the sale makes enough to pay off the mortgage.

C'est la vie.

I'm just curious if my instincts on this issue are correct. That you make certain choices, and in our society something always suffers, either your personal life or professional success.

It seems that you can be happy personally and a devoted parent but you'll probably only ever be professionally mediocre, at best, if that's the choice you make.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Age/looks/height are intangibles that are easily canceled out by simply having a talent and a nose for risk taking. Two of my wealthiest clients are under 5'8" and NOTHING to look at. Neither went to a top school or were particularly great in the classroom either. Another is maybe 5'10", but rather heavyset, and VERY jewish looking. A fourth is tall, but extremely unattractive. All four are in their 40's.

More important than anything on your list is having a TALENT for business and a nose for risk taking - when to jump all in and when not to. You need to be a salesman, no matter what your field. If you aren't selling a product, you're selling yourself, your ability to make things happen. Not only is it important to know how and when to take risks, it's important to be able to get other people to take risks on YOU. And yeah...luck has a lot to do with it.

^^^ What she said. As for luck. I don't necessarily agree with that. You keep going till you "find" your own luck. I have lived that with my Old Grump since we got together and finally, it is paying off.

And I do believe you do have to be ruthless. Ruthless does not = taking advantage of other peoples' misery or compromising your morals. What is means is that you often have to make tough decisions.

 

[all the whey]

Subtract the waltons and other inheritance wealth women from that and send me the figures again, haha

You screwed up an old joke.

The punch line was...It is because they control 100% of the pussy.

 

[nefertiti]

You screwed up an old joke.

The punch line was...It is because they control 100% of the pussy.

lol...my bad. I figured it was going to be some kind of marriage related joke.