I love being "on", and I hate being "on'.
I love the pump and strength in the gym. I love the bullet proof effect (feeling of invinsibility) which is not just hypothetical, or imaginary. I love knowing that at any given time I'm capable of short bursts of strength that exceeds that of 99.99999% of the worlds population.
I hate the respitory distress I feel when bulked up to 310 lbs, or on Tren at any bodyweight. I hate the extreme fatigue - where I'm falling asleep behind the wheel, even when I sleep 8 to 12 hour a night. I'm concerned about the high blood pressure, the PAC's, and the excellerated heart rate that I endure while "on". And I hate the tren sweats, and constant feeling of being over heated and deyhdrated.
Truly a double edged sword.