depression and lifting

[kaukasion]

me and my dad found my mom dead thurs the 12th
and ive had a hard time lifting
and it feels like i may have lost the drive to push myself hard enough
has anyone around here been through something like this and still did weight training
or should i stop for longer until i can focus
but after a week off ive already moved down a bit


what do you think i should do

 

[jimc]

wow i'm sorry for ur loss. that's hard for me or anyone to say what u should do. but if i had to say anything it would be to lift. i think it would help.

 

[kaukasion]

it feels like it does help
but i just cant get into it when im down there
its like a lost my drive
and cant push myself as hard

thanks for the support
im sure i will be alright its just gonna take some time
i guess

 

[Lee]

sorry to hear about your mom. ive had some problems with depression in the past, and if it got too bad i would take a week off, and just tried to focus on positive things in my life to try to get myself out of the depression. i hope you get through it ok.

 

[H_T_]

time. you're not supposed to be feeling wonderful right now. you need to give things time, you just suffered a devastating loss.

 

[novamanms]

Time will definitely help. When my dad died, it definitely took the wind out of my sails for awhile.

If anything, I would say it'll help get anger out of your system. But you've got to get to that stage first.

 

[nelmsjer]

Keep lifting, but don't let any loss of lifts get to you psychologically, if possible. Just go in with a different mindset. Keeping some normalcy in your life will help you transition through this difficult period. Your body is using a lot of emotional energy right now, which will definitely affect your recovery. My whole point to all this is go in with a "maintenance" mindset...and no more. Go experiment with new exercises. Play more in the weight room. Enjoy it and learn new things. As everyone said...you need time.

All that said: I am horribly sorry for your loss and will say a prayer for you and your family.

 

[blut wump]

The loss of a parent was the most devastating experience of my life and I commiserate on your loss. Try to stay active while you grieve if you can and do the same for your father who is probably suffering too. The grief you are feeling, if allowed its way, can turn into a depression that can last months. All the best to you both.

 

[silver_shadow]

sorry for your loss bro... yes, my mum died of cancer a few years ago. i busted ass then to try and get over the depression and it helped to an extent. i always bust ass when i'm depressed... even when i was going through a painful breakup.

 

[casualbb]

man im so sorry to hear that.

here's my advice, from personal experience

I let myself stop lifting -- big mistake. It was so hard to started again, and in retrospect it made me feel worse because i really enjoyed training. I was just super-low on energy all the time.

my advice to you is drag yourself into the gym and do a chill maintainence routine. you don't want to exhaust yourself if your having emotional trauma. but i REALLY recommend you keep the habit, so you don't lose it and to get a shot of endorphins every other day.

 

[gabulldogs02]

man im so sorry to hear that.

here's my advice, from personal experience

I let myself stop lifting -- big mistake. It was so hard to started again, and in retrospect it made me feel worse because i really enjoyed training. I was just super-low on energy all the time.

my advice to you is drag yourself into the gym and do a chill maintainence routine. you don't want to exhaust yourself if your having emotional trauma. but i REALLY recommend you keep the habit, so you don't lose it and to get a shot of endorphins every other day.

I agree with casualbb here... Dont let yourself get out of that habit. Once you stop it can be hard to get back in. When you go you dont have to go all the way and wear yourself out, go in and give 50%. Its better than not going. I know it can be tough, my prayers are with you and your family.

 

[socom3]

I cant put myself in your shoes but i have experienced depression before-lifting and keeping a normal routine helped me alot.Sorry for your loss bro.

 

[fortunatesun]

Had some medical problems many years ago that triggered clinical depression. I'd have to say hitting the weights hard helped me through. Having that time every day to clear your mind and focus your energy in a physical sense truly helps you release the rage and frustration. Allows you to break down and rebuild, and to find your center again.

 

[kaukasion]

thanks for the support and advice
im going to keep lifting
i didnt know if it was natural to slide backward so much because of emotional problems
thanks guys

 

[LiftingDukkha]

I definitely slid backward after my mom died about 6 years ago. I think I kept at working out but I also had other commitments & it was tough for me not to lash out at other people who perhaps treated me as I perceived unfairly, because I felt everyone should have been treating me with kid gloves. Eventually the pain/anger/self-pity dissipated, but it did take time, I think that's completely natural. But it probably is necessary to (1) accept that it's simply going to take time to crawl out of the hole; and (2) keep a normal routine and latch onto routine as a helpful way to help you get out of the hole sooner, or at all, anyway.

 

[carlsuen]

wow.. i'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss.. in my experience if i feel bad and depressed.. lifting has always helped.. i'd take it out on the weights.. and i'd manage to get a PR everytime!! and after the work out.. i feel so much better.. cuz i've let out my fustration/depression/anger.. don't stop.. cuz lifting is one of the most positive aspect in alot of our lives on these boards.. i think it's yours too..

 

[Anthrax Invasion]

I agree with casualbb here... Dont let yourself get out of that habit. Once you stop it can be hard to get back in. When you go you dont have to go all the way and wear yourself out, go in and give 50%. Its better than not going. I know it can be tough, my prayers are with you and your family.

I'm finding it hard to even stay interested 'cause of my injury, and I keep forcing myself to stick with the lifting mindset.

I dunno if I'll ever be the same.

Sorry for the loss, OP. My father passed away this Summer - t'wasn't fun. Still isn't. Still got a rough road ahead (mother can't afford mortgage, lived here my whole life, school + full-time job [yay promotion!], and a full-time relationship [hoo-rah]). Do whatever you need to enjoy yourself. If it's lifting, lift. If you can't do it right now, don't. I'd just give yourself a break. Don't expect too much from yourself right now. You need a break.

 

[riverrock]

I would also say that you should drag yourself into the gym. Even if you only do short sets and lower reps, at least your still lifting. I went through something similar after a personal loss. Its hard to force through that last rep like nothing else matters when you have just seen a wider picture. Reduce your training by 20% but keep training. Your body certainly won't say no to a temporary rest and your mind will get a chance to get its thoughts together as well.

 

[monkey_boi]

Sorry for your loss man. If lifting helps take your mind of things, then I say go for it but
don't stress if you're not 100% focused. Head up and best of luck to you.

 

[hardrock]

I can relate bro. My mom found my brother dead on the 4th of Jan. He took his own life. He was also my best friend. My boss gave me 10 days off and all I did was lay around the house. Get up, lay on the couch, maybe eat a couple times then go back to bed. This is on the days I wasn't drinking. I only hit the gym once in 3 weeks.

I now am back to 3x a week and feel much better. For me lifting helps keep my mind off it or at least from dwelling on it. Not to mention the felling you get after a good workout.

I'd say take a little time off if you need it, but don't let yourself get too far in a rut. it's just that much harder to climb out of.

Good luck bro. I wish you and yours the best!

 

[smaretick]

Sorry about your loss...here's my 2 cents:

A few years ago I experienced a similar situation in which I was involved in a bad car accident & my wife was killed. I had been training for ~30 yrs up to that point. After I got out of the hospital & finished rehab I immediately went back to the gym. Started with some cardio (recumbent bike) & worked my way up to machine workouts, then free weights. One thing I observed first hand (and was validated by docs) was that working out made me feel better both physically and psychologically. Essentially, exercise releases endorphins, which give you that feeling of well being. (..."high intensity Exercise, this produces an increase in feelings of well being, protection of mental illness, and brings about feelings of relaxation which is caused by the endorphins. "A runners high" is experienced after prolonged exercise, caused by endorphins.")

The bottom line is that getting back in the gym will help you out. Also, I'm sure you've heard it before, but time does heal all wounds...it will get better.

Good luck!

 

[ErikZ]

Man, first of all, my sincere condolencies (i hope this is how you spell it) to you and your father. I am sure that in time, things will heal and I do pray that everything improves to you. However, as previously posted, I do agree that you have to keep doing some exercise, as to prevent yourself from entering a downard spiral of depression-lead apathy. I believe exercising will help get your mind off things and possibly make you feel better.
I sincerely wish you and your father the best of luck.

Erik B

 

[kish]

Sorry about your mom dude. Working out may be the best medicine for any depression or frustration you might be feeling. Life delt me a few crappy cards in the past and I ended up in such a rut at one point. I stopped caring about almost everything. A short while after I got back into working out again, I took on an entirely different perspective when nothing else seemed to help.

 

[c3bodybuilding]

Brother I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss. I fear I can offer no words that could ease the pain you are going through at this moment. Know that life is only the start, and as long as you keep your mom within your heart, she will always be with you.

I find that during any times of great depression, the weights become my best friend. But maybe right now you need time to clear your mind. Remember we are all brothers and sisters here on Elite. You are part of a family here, and we are here for you. PM me anytime you need to talk my friend.

 

[swaptrex]

very sorry to hear that, but i can say that lifting helps bring up my spirits. it gets me out, around, and makes me feel like i accomplished something for that day. i know it must be hard to lift after such a tragic loss, but you never know.

 

[b fold the truth]

Right now, do whatever you feel like doing. Nothing more, nothing less.

I am a VERY emotional person and lifter. I can't have two different emotions at the same time and I don't do anger very well. If I ever get angry...someone is getting hurt.

My month has been bad and I can't go into a lot of it on a personal forum. I will say that there have been family issues (always have been...not my family). A good friend of mine died of a heart attack, my new puppy (my dogs are my children) got sick then well then died in my hand (.55 pounds) while I was on my way to the vet, the rear differential broke in half (along with the brake line) in our vehicle while going UP a mountain, and the list could go on.

I sucked in the gym because I can't transfer emotion like that. My best training is when I am mentally the most happy.

Rest. If you feel like going to the gym..plan it so that you can be done in 15 minutes or less. Hold that concentration for 15 minutes then get out. Don't rest between sets, just go in and pick 2-3 exercises for the day's body part and do them back to back as hard as YOU can (given the circumstances) and go home.

The heart and mind must heal before the body can grow.

 

[kaukasion]

thanks for all the support i have kept lifting
well not my normal routine though i used to lift 6 days a week
ive been lucky if i get down there 4x a week

im noticing myself sliding back a bit on bench press and other things
but ive been trying to combat that with up'n the weight and doing less reps not to mention it speeds up the workouts

i still max out the same 225 on bench press
but on any lower weight im sliding backward in reps
it just seems like i havent been able to put the same effort into the workout
and its not just on bench press but its an easy example
its like this on every exercize

thanks again