Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below I lost my mom like 2 years ago, and then I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years....It's been almost two years and I feel much better but I still feel run down and often think about it way too much.. How do I get out of this process of thinking, I'm a good looking guy and used to be smart but I feel to tired now to give a crap....What can I do for this? I have a masters in psychology but here too many bad reviews of the anti d's to go on them...
depressed or obsessed...or just a pussy
- Thread starter jdubbster
- Start date
bigrob215
New member
Bro i share your pain. My dad passed away when i was 27 and at the time i was sad but didnt let it bother me. i finished college, got a good job, and moved on with my life. by 29 i stopped lifting, ate like crap, and stayed in bed all day on my days off (even if i wasnt tired, i would stare at the ceiling). I had a great family, a ton of friends, a great girlfriend, and made decent money for a recent college grad. yet i was always run down and never left my house. i didnt get it. i thought it was a midlife crisis, but i was only 29. I didnt know what all of a sudden caused these changes. i had a lot of debt after school, so i thought that was it but it wasnt....i was making enough to pay more than the monthly statement and save for retirement. i also looked at the people i hung around with. they were older, were married, had nice houses.....and i still lived with my mom, helping her out since she was now alone. but this wasnt it either....i actually was saving a lot of money living at home and always had money to go out....so it wasnt jealousy i was depressed about. i talked to my girlfriend about it and she said i should go on meds or see a psych. i was never a believer of prescribed meds because they make you unstable or talking to a know it all with a degree on the wall. I am 30 now and just getting over this hurdle. I talked to my friend, and i just found out he was depressed....i didnt even know it or could tell he was because he hid it well. he actually saw a psych and was prescribed meds...but he never took them. Instead, he read books on natural healing and everything else related to depression. he told me EVERYONE goes through this at one point in their life, but they hide it because they are afraid society will think they are weak or sick. The biggest cause of depression is blaming yourself for things in your life that went wrong or are not going right. he said when u remove the blame, you will be all set.....everyone is different and has different obstacles they must overcome....this is what makes us all stronger people. also there are a lot of toxins in the food or in the air. Eat fruits and veggies and stay away from anything MAN makes....this means processed foods or foods that are in a box. he had me try Organic Virgin Coconut oil and that seems to geet me in good spirits and make me feel good. also avoid microwaving your food as it adds radiation that leads to depression. i just got back to the gym last week, because i found another officer at work that lifts and hes my new partner. by him calling me or scheduling a lifting day it forces me to get out of the house. after a hour of lifting and a 1/2 hour of cardio i feel great. depression sux man and i am glad i talked to a friend about it. i hope this helped you.
Great reply bigrob215
bigrob that's a great response. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed and can hide it via working out or avoiding thinking, but truth be told it's wearing me down. If anything the only thing that I could say that makes me think it's depression is blaming myself for every event that ever occurred. I know that it makes no sense but my brain won't let it go... I even go out and hang out with friends and workout continuously... Did you ever end up taking the meds? I was prescribed them as well but never take them.
Have anyone that can talk about this with you or maybe join a support group
since you do not want to take meds.
since you do not want to take meds.
jdubbster said:
bigrob215
New member
i never saw a doctor and i wouldnt take meds...prescription or nonscript.......they make u unstable and dependant on them. the thing that really helped me was talking to my friend who had the same issues and actually typing my initial reply to your orginal post helped a lot because it gave me a chance to clear my head and reflect on things. i think talking to others who share the same experiences. problems. and goals helped a lot more than talking to a psychatrist. You made a good decision posting this online since i am sure u didnt feel comfortable talking to someone you know. However some people have a genetic chemical imbalance and they have no choice to be on meds their whole life. So if you dont kick this in a year or less, seek the advice from a qualified medical doctor. i feel like your just like a normal human being though that has has some tragic events thats are hindering you from living a fullfilling life. u need to stay active, be around family of friends, get a pet, and stay away from toxic foods. please read "natural cures" by kevin trudeau...that book seems to help a lot of people out and has helped me stay away from foods that lead to depression and anxiety. also reflect on your life. yes i know you lost a parent ...tough to let a lost loved one out of your mind (especially a parent) but if he/she saw you u moping around and not enjoying life, what do u think they would think or say to you if they were able to physically talk to you...it wouldnt be good and they would be angry because they want you to be the best u can. make them proud not, worried about you. My father died within 2 months of finding out he had brain cancer. by the time i manned up to say thanks for adopting me and saving my life, he was brain dead and died a few days later. i was big time depressed about this for while. but i was like, what the fuck, i am gonna make him proud and make him know he didnt waste his time raising me. i went back to school to get my degree, got my masters, and got a great job protecting this country.
as for your girlfriend i dont know the story or who left who....doesnt matter. relationships are two sharing the same love, needs, and goals. if one person isnt fulfilled, the best thing that can happen is a early breakup...its a blessing. some people feel bad and try to continue the relationship even if they are not happy or not sharing a dream together. this not only puts stress on the unhappy party, but puts stress on the other one because he/she notices significant changes in the other person and cant get the truth of what really is going on. 5 years is a long time. but someone felt they needed to be in a relationship where they can learn more. its best it happened now so your 6th and 7th years were not unhappy and wasted time. if i counted how many long term relationships bombed on me i would be in a mental institution by now. its tough at first, but with each relationship, i learned to look back at the good times i had and how i grew as a person as i learned something from each girl.
I doubt you were the direct blame for your mothers passing and i doubt you were the sole reason for your relationship ending so get that out of your head. Set new goals for yourself.....you have a psych degree...help someone else who has this problem by getting into the profession and be a counselor....you would be perfect since you had experience. Set new goals in the gym...drop fat or add inches to your bi's. Plan a trip (even if its by yourself) and go somewhee u always wanted to go. i am going to saint maarten in june.....so i am so busy working saving money and getting in shape....i dont have time to be depressed.
One more thing to add. You sound like you have a lot of friends, a college education, you said you are attractive, have a good job, and have the ability to work out at a gym. You really want a taste of reality? Look at all the people that are nor attractive, are overwieght, are missing limbs, are disease infested, are blind, are homeless, have no family that cares about them, are confined to wheelchairs, are deaf, live in non-free countries, are persecuted racially or for their beliefs.....i can go on and on brother......sometimes you think are going through a rough time......then there are millions in this country and all over the world that wish they were in your shoes. Now i dont know you and i dont know your story, but just by knowing your on a computer and on a fitness site, your one step above the average joe
as for your girlfriend i dont know the story or who left who....doesnt matter. relationships are two sharing the same love, needs, and goals. if one person isnt fulfilled, the best thing that can happen is a early breakup...its a blessing. some people feel bad and try to continue the relationship even if they are not happy or not sharing a dream together. this not only puts stress on the unhappy party, but puts stress on the other one because he/she notices significant changes in the other person and cant get the truth of what really is going on. 5 years is a long time. but someone felt they needed to be in a relationship where they can learn more. its best it happened now so your 6th and 7th years were not unhappy and wasted time. if i counted how many long term relationships bombed on me i would be in a mental institution by now. its tough at first, but with each relationship, i learned to look back at the good times i had and how i grew as a person as i learned something from each girl.
I doubt you were the direct blame for your mothers passing and i doubt you were the sole reason for your relationship ending so get that out of your head. Set new goals for yourself.....you have a psych degree...help someone else who has this problem by getting into the profession and be a counselor....you would be perfect since you had experience. Set new goals in the gym...drop fat or add inches to your bi's. Plan a trip (even if its by yourself) and go somewhee u always wanted to go. i am going to saint maarten in june.....so i am so busy working saving money and getting in shape....i dont have time to be depressed.
One more thing to add. You sound like you have a lot of friends, a college education, you said you are attractive, have a good job, and have the ability to work out at a gym. You really want a taste of reality? Look at all the people that are nor attractive, are overwieght, are missing limbs, are disease infested, are blind, are homeless, have no family that cares about them, are confined to wheelchairs, are deaf, live in non-free countries, are persecuted racially or for their beliefs.....i can go on and on brother......sometimes you think are going through a rough time......then there are millions in this country and all over the world that wish they were in your shoes. Now i dont know you and i dont know your story, but just by knowing your on a computer and on a fitness site, your one step above the average joe
Yes I know the meds have draw backs and doctors like to push these kind of drugs that is why I asked if you could talk to a friend or join a support group.
jdubbster said:
IronMind24
New member
I know how you feel... You just have to get out of that thinking process... You should try atleast natural supplements that helped me atleast get motivated to deal with my depression... Try 5-htp and St Johns wort... and I heard SAMe is good too.. But do your research... Also, check out some self-improvement sites like www.briankim.net, he has daily emails that help me when I need them most... I felt uncomfortable at first needing to do these things... but they've helped me little by little...
[=bigrob215]i
rob,
Thanks for the response. I guess I have what you call a type A personality or something and think that I can control all variables and when they don't go as planned I often end up thinking that they were all my fault somehow, and instead of moving forward I keep one foot planted behind me instead of actively forgetting about the past , learning from that experience and moving forward from that point. Meds would probably assist me pull out of the cycle I'm guessing but I just don't like the feeling of having to take some pill every day for who knows how long. The truth is that those pills work , but like all things there are cons for all the upsides or positive things that they may bring. I do have alot of friends and being an attractive dude has really played a dual role for me personally. For some reason I have become reliant on my looks to lead me to believe that I could have my ex back if the opportunity did somehow present itself, but all things considering it's best just to let things be , learn and move on. Thanks for your reply man, I don't feel like talking to people about this...makes me feel like a pussy , and weak. I just need to workout, stay strong, and when I start having those obsessive thoughts maybe I'll just start painting walls in my house or something creative to take my mind off it until another girl rolls in.... Thanks brotha for some solid advice-
rob,
Thanks for the response. I guess I have what you call a type A personality or something and think that I can control all variables and when they don't go as planned I often end up thinking that they were all my fault somehow, and instead of moving forward I keep one foot planted behind me instead of actively forgetting about the past , learning from that experience and moving forward from that point. Meds would probably assist me pull out of the cycle I'm guessing but I just don't like the feeling of having to take some pill every day for who knows how long. The truth is that those pills work , but like all things there are cons for all the upsides or positive things that they may bring. I do have alot of friends and being an attractive dude has really played a dual role for me personally. For some reason I have become reliant on my looks to lead me to believe that I could have my ex back if the opportunity did somehow present itself, but all things considering it's best just to let things be , learn and move on. Thanks for your reply man, I don't feel like talking to people about this...makes me feel like a pussy , and weak. I just need to workout, stay strong, and when I start having those obsessive thoughts maybe I'll just start painting walls in my house or something creative to take my mind off it until another girl rolls in.... Thanks brotha for some solid advice-
bigrob215
New member
no problem man....i dont like talking to other people about it either,,,,makes me feel like i am weird or different.....i, and i am sure the others here, are glad you started this post.....in todays society where stress and problems are a everyday way of life, we can all use the advice. best of luck and stay in the gym.
bigthrower
New member
i have suffered real life issues, and medical problems.LIFE IS BETTER FOR ME ON ANTI-DS THAN WITHOUT THEM if some drugs help you, fuck it, don't hesitate.
seaking420
New member
very good info big rob. Interesting thoughts. I went through a phase(about 2-3 months) were I was depressed, I couldnt figure out the exact cause of it, but I came out of it. There are still days that I feel a little depressed and feel like I can easily go back to being depressed. Its a shitty feeling, but its a state of mind that you have to work at. In my situation I had alot going on, and I let it effect me, those things are still there, but until I figure out what to do I will have to battle feeling low from time to time I guess. But I have to admit, Im happy more days than not.
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