Dating when your fit

[*MissFit*]

Lately I have been dating.. Personally i'm in pretty good shape and as soon as a guy realizes what that means, they seem to get really self concious about thmeselves.

Does anyone else encouter this problem? I'm fit for ymself, but do not expect a guy to be necessarily as fit as me. No i'm not looking for a guy with alot of extra pou8nds, but he doesnt have to be a muscle head.. (A term that seems to come up again and again!!!)

How do u make guys feel a bit more comftable about not necessarily being in "peak" condition?

 

[jenscats5]

Lately I have been dating.. Personally i'm in pretty good shape and as soon as a guy realizes what that means, they seem to get really self concious about thmeselves.

Does anyone else encouter this problem? I'm fit for ymself, but do not expect a guy to be necessarily as fit as me. No i'm not looking for a guy with alot of extra pou8nds, but he doesnt have to be a muscle head.. (A term that seems to come up again and again!!!)

How do u make guys feel a bit more comftable about not necessarily being in "peak" condition?

I'm married & met my hubby at the gym..... however, he's losing interest in going to the gym and is gaining weight, so I don't know how to approach that....

Anyway, I had more problems at work -- I found people (the men mostly) were very intimidated by the fact that I lifted weights & the women were catty & jealous....the women would ask how I did it then dismiss everything I said/did only to complain about how much they weighed..... But my male bosses would just look at me with an almost worried look like I was going to kick their butts.....

 

[superqt4u2nv]

If they don't like you for you CC and are not secure enough with themselves, is that really someone you want to be with?

 

[*MissFit*]

Hahaha no it's not that.. i find guys to be self concious

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Hahaha no it's not that.. i find guys to be self concious

I know but do you want to be with a guy who is not secure enough with himself that you being fit makes him feel self conscious?

 

[velvett]

Never had the experience now that I think of it.

The guys I've dated have always been fit and even if they'd go through phases of chubbiness it never bothered me and from what I remember it never bothered them either.

That or I'm clueless - which is most possible..

 

[*MissFit*]

Just something I'm thinking about.. because as i get in better and better shape.. i notice it coming up

I know but do you want to be with a guy who is not secure enough with himself that you being fit makes him feel self conscious?

 

[velvett]

Just something I'm thinking about.. because as i get in better and better shape.. i notice it coming up

I think guys get freaked when they realize you're stronger than them.
I've shocked a few guys in working situations and I consider myself pretty normal.

 

[Gymgurl]

I have had men tell me not to get "to"muscular because they don't find it attractive....I think they just don't want me to lift more then them

 

[Sassy69]

I've dated bodybuilders & really enjoyed that they share the life style. Makes eating in & out much easier as well as avoids the issue of lots of beer drinking. Gives you a training buddy & someone who can support your involvement in the lifestyle. I dated one guy who liked that I was stronger than him - that got sort of creepy so I got out of that one. Guys who are out of shape are just not that attractive to me period. Mostly because I know the lifestyle won't click so there's almost no point because it is important to me & not to them.That means I have to sacrifice some of my discipline. That's just bad all around.

 

[*MissFit*]

yah i coudln't date a pudgely.. but I'm not really looking for a body builder.. it came up the other day.. so i guess i was just curious how other ppl handled it

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I tend to date body builder or at the very least fit guys and they never seem to mind.

 

[Evil_Frisky]

I don't need a BB'er or Pl'er but I couldn't date someone who just doesn't care about their health. I'd prefer to be with someone I have more in common with, someone I can share my training.. diet.. etc.

One of the guys in the gym that spots me.. trains with me every once in a blue moon.. refuses to train with me on leg day. LMAO.... I typically out lift him and he said it gives him a complex.

 

[velvett]

One of the guys in the gym that spots me.. trains with me every once in a blue moon.. refuses to train with me on leg day. LMAO.... I typically out lift him and he said it gives him a complex.

See, now if he were a woman that would just make him work harder.

 

[skittles]

Hahaha no it's not that.. i find guys to be self concious

Steer clear if a guy is self concious because your in better shape than him... Imagine how self concious he would be in bed! (if it ever went that far)

 

[treilin]

I have found since I have been dating and now that it's colder; hence long sleeves and jackets, that if I tell a guy I work-out the first thing they grab is my bicep. Then they get self-conscious and say, "Feel my bicep yours is bigger then mine, and you could kick my butt." Of course that's a complete turn-off, and my arms are really not even all that big. I just say,"Yeah, so you better watch yourself." I love a guy that is into working out and we can work-out together, that's HOT! I have been with guys that go through phases of working out hard for 6 or 7 months then being lazy for a month, and I don't have a problem with that. It's when they just get lazy and stay that way. Then they start getting plump and that's just not what I'm attracted too.
I have also got the caddy remarks from ladies at work. Especially the ones that could lose about 30 pounds or more. They feel like they have to be rude to me because they are jealous. Women are stupid!

 

[Carmen]

I think guys get freaked when they realize you're stronger than them..

lol... this is very true for me.

 

[Raina]

I haven't been in that situation but it's a bummer that your dedication would intimidate someone else. I say find someone supportive who can appreciate you and feel comfortable about himself around you. Couples should ultimately be friends who support and build one another up.

My sister's bf quit working out with her because she lifted more than he did. He's a total candy ass and she's been an athlete all her life. lol

 

[*MissFit*]

My biceps r 13inches.. i guess big for a chick.. but msot guys, evne ones who are not body building shape are a bit bigger.. but because of the tone, it might appear to be bigger...

I warn guys when i date them that musuclar is not just a term im throwing around. Clothed i guess i appear on the skinny side..

I have found since I have been dating and now that it's colder; hence long sleeves and jackets, that if I tell a guy I work-out the first thing they grab is my bicep. Then they get self-conscious and say, "Feel my bicep yours is bigger then mine, and you could kick my butt." Of course that's a complete turn-off, and my arms are really not even all that big. I just say,"Yeah, so you better watch yourself." I love a guy that is into working out and we can work-out together, that's HOT! I have been with guys that go through phases of working out hard for 6 or 7 months then being lazy for a month, and I don't have a problem with that. It's when they just get lazy and stay that way. Then they start getting plump and that's just not what I'm attracted too.
I have also got the caddy remarks from ladies at work. Especially the ones that could lose about 30 pounds or more. They feel like they have to be rude to me because they are jealous. Women are stupid!

 

[starfish]

The one man who has truly made my heart go pitter pat since I was 18 has always been in MUCH better shape than me. It's been his lifestyle for years. It used to make me insecure but it inspires me now. Love all the fitness stuff. I could never be with someone in an unfit lifestlyle.

 

[skittles]

CC - you should go to local bodybuilding/fitness shows. You can meet guys there that are into the same thing as you & like your big arms. They always have afterparties, so you could meet someone there.

 

[Roonytunes]

I am curious also how you deal with dinners when you are dating. Sure, I'd like for a guy to take me out to a nice restaurant or fancy-schmancy place, but it does disrupt eating clean. The same goes for "going out for a drink". I'd like to have a few cocktails, but then feel guilty about it. Worse yet, if you're dating more than one guy, you can't schedule them all on your cheat day.

I also find it hard to explain clean eating to a guy who may be in fairly okay shape, but doesn't have to work hard at it. Or even worse, there are those that can guzzle beer and still somehow remain cut. And then you have the "but you're in great shape already, you don't have to work so hard at it".

 

[*MissFit*]

i expalin it before we go out and i make sure we go somewhere where i know items on the menu

I am curious also how you deal with dinners when you are dating. Sure, I'd like for a guy to take me out to a nice restaurant or fancy-schmancy place, but it does disrupt eating clean. The same goes for "going out for a drink". I'd like to have a few cocktails, but then feel guilty about it. Worse yet, if you're dating more than one guy, you can't schedule them all on your cheat day.

I also find it hard to explain clean eating to a guy who may be in fairly okay shape, but doesn't have to work hard at it. Or even worse, there are those that can guzzle beer and still somehow remain cut. And then you have the "but you're in great shape already, you don't have to work so hard at it".

 

[mshad]

I just entered the dating world two months ago for the first time in over 5yrs so this is an issue I know I will have to deal with!! I have a thing about dating guys from the gym... If it dosn't work out and all! I am me take it or leave it I don't want to make a guy feel awkward by my lifestyle but that is exactly what it is I am CRAZY and LOVE bodybuilding!! My last boyfriend was crazy into it but would never ever lift with me and barely talk to me at the gym! I HATED it...we also never hung out by the end of the relationship, no hard feelings he just wasn't that into me! Great guy just not for me! I could never be with a fatty, nothing against them but I find muscles sexy not skinny or fat guys! I am a little girl and I want a guy that can hug me and make me feel sooooo safe! I don't need to be taken care of but there is that protection thing between a guy and gurl I long for! I am just loving feeling independent and single, I would love to be with a guy who I can share my lifestyle with but I am willing to compromise if needed-that's what relationships are about right?

mshad

 

[Jade19]

Just something I'm thinking about.. because as i get in better and better shape.. i notice it coming up

I think everyone is at least a lil insecure about something.... If a guy was really insecure prolly wanna stay clear but if you really like him and you notice insecurity compliment him....make him feel good about him then maybe it can correct itself.......if u feel its worth the try.

P.S. your in awesome shape how long have u been training?

 

[BlondeBombshell27]

The guy I'm dating now is a bodybuilder and I'm fit. Sometimes we go to the gym together. We also spar together sometimes. We both take tkd too. He taught my self defense class at the martial arts academy I went to before he quit. He owns his business and he didn't have time to teach anymore. I bumped into him and his roommates while they were all doing their Christmas shopping. We exchanged phone numbers and after I broke up with the creep that I was dating I let him take me out on a date. We have been together ever since. He is so amazing and very sweet. He loves every little thing about me too.