The Polish Banana Boat
Hi BigJay:
Good to see you again, bro. It has indeed been a long time.
I had this urge to wake up and go to the toilet, and I got to thinkin', "Hmmm, I wonder what Vince is whipping up in his lab, with his burners and flasks and beakers." Then I thought I'd just go and check email and EF at 04:00 out of curiosity. Maybe he's got some neat paper D-bol/Fina formula.
How am I doing? Well, let's say the last year has been a rather unusual period, getting sick, narked on, fucked over and whatnot. And in 2000 I didn't kill anybody directly or have them professionally vanished in a city where 80 people disappear everyday, never to be seen or heard from again...and this year is running out, so I've been sort of out of shape. I try my best to kill at least one shithead who fucks me over or threatens me during any given year (I never take a threat, ever), just to keep in top-notch condition and my spirits and reputation high. After all, it's a jungle here. Physical size means little when you have a bullet in your head, which, sadly happened to one of my associates this Summer. It was his work, though - he knew the risks; he was in Chechnya.
But my health is back, my mind is as sharp as a razor, and my ruthlessness is masked by a cool, cordial, and professional exterior appearance, so it's back to business as usual - doing weird stuff as I have for 9 years here. I run a legit company (again). Small, sufficient funding (you can never really have enough capital, though...hehe), but secure, and looking for a suitable niche that fits my profession, with the competent help of my partner of 7 years. Nothing like good Russian-American teamwork; it happens so seldom. I got lucky early-on. I'll spare you my boring commentary on general unethical, greedy, and unscrupulous business practice which pervades society here; most Westerners can't relate to it anyway. They see stuff on CNN.
Okay, out with the truth:
ACTUALLY, what really happened (hush...just between you and me) is that Luke and I colluded two months ago and decided to say, "To hell with everybody, let's just grab everything we can get, as fast as we can get it (sort of like a Russian approach), take the money and run." So I'm actually sitting in the Canaries now with Luke and his girlfriend. You know, we have sort of threesome going! It's all quite cooperative, which I like.
Yeah...Luke is slow at THAT, too...
That's why I'm waiting (she always cleans up afterwards, so it's not exactly sloppy seconds) and typing online now...waiting for Luke.
It wasn't easy getting out, though. We had to navigate through the Balkins to Slovenia, stealthily, and take a Polish banana boat from there. Choppy trip, but now everything is cool.
Best regards,
Dexter