Conversation killing openers...

[Griz1]

1. So I was cleaning the feaces out of my bed sheets this morning and it struck me...

2. How much actually has to come out to qualify as "shitting yourself"?

3. [In response] "Yeah, that's just like waking up with a couple of fingers up your ass isn't it?"

4. Have you ever felt like spraying cum all over everything in your path? I think it might some sort of latent spawning instinct-what do you think?

Feel free to add, I'm just getting things started....

 

[@dam]

feaces = feces

 

[Allon]

Thats funny

K

 

[Griz1]

feaces = feces

feces = spellin in USA
faeces = spelling in Canada, UK, and various other British influenced countries.

5. Speaking of spelling my priest was telling me that the term anal sex is hyphenated, were you aware of this...

 

[jnevin]

6. You know when you've been out of toilet paper for a few days...

 

[evansteve]

6. (In response) ...you know, that reminds me of the time that I trucked off in the company truck.

 

[Griz1]

Here's one for Tuc.

So I'm pounding this chick raw and her 14 year old son walks in...

 

[jnevin]

7. Does it ever hurt when you pee?

 

[jackangel]

thanks man, now i don't feel as bad about my own threads.

 

[jnevin]

8. So I was on this chat board at work all day...

 

[evansteve]

9. (me to a girl) So I attend this forum called EliteFitness, where folks on there are making large bets about how I will never get laid...

 

[H_T_]

10. smell my finger.

 

[CFZB]

Yeah So I just Scratched all the Scabs Of My cock and The Puss Is Slippery.

 

[Scotsman]

Do you know anything about herpes?

Have you ever had sex with a corpse?

Hi my name is Scotsman.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[jnevin]

Have you taken the lord Jesus... Wait! Come back!

 

[samoth]

Hi, I'm a physics major...

 

[ChefWide]

"WOW, those are the thickest glasses i have ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE!"


OR


"Anyone want to hear my Dr. Ruth Imitation?"

 

[jnevin]

You ever try to drag your ass across the floor like a dog? It really works!

 

[H_T_]

My favorite things to do are:

1) Go to church.
2) Pray (real fucking hard).

 

[Delinquent]

Damn I got gas

 

[Eringobraugh]

How about a pizza and a fuck?
Whatsa matta, dont like pizza?

 

[jnevin]

*with alarmed look on face* You ever think you're just going to fart...

 

[samoth]

[In the laboratory]

Don't worry, it's usually non-toxic...

Your clothes aren't expensive, are they?

Don't worry, you'll get used to the smell of sulfuric acid after a while...

Shouldn't you be using a reactant that doesn't cause toxic fumes? Or are the hoods broken?

That's HCN, not HCl.

 

[Phaded]

'so i was fucking my boyfriend in the ass the other day and all of the sudden''