Colonoscopy..

[Sassy69]

Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,

trying to decide who was the one in charge.




"I should be in charge," said the brain ,

"Because I run all the body's systems,

so without me nothing would happen."



"I should be in charge," said the blood ,

"Because I circulate oxygen all over

so without me you'd all waste away."


"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"

Because I process food and give

all of you energy."


"I should be in charge," said the legs,

"because I carry the body wherever

it needs to go."



"I should be in charge," said the eyes,

"Because I allow the body to see

where it goes."


"I should be in charge," said the rectum,

"Because I'm responsible for

waste removal."




All the other body parts laughed at the rectum

And insulted him, so in a huff,

he shut down tight.



Within a few days,

the brain had a terrible headache,

the stomach was bloated,

the legs got wobbly,

the eyes got watery,

and the blood Was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?


The asshole is usually in charge !!

 

[msam76]

LMFAO!!!! Nice!

 

[silverbackn]

I've had a colonoscopy, the ass got abused, he wasn't calling the shots

 

[Sassy69]

I've had a colonoscopy, the ass got abused, he wasn't calling the shots

 

[silverbackn]

you're telling me, it was the night before the colonoscopy that made me want to shoot myself

 

[Sassy69]

The night BEFORE it happened??

That's like being pre-pwned by your own ass.

 

[msam76]

you're telling me, it was the night before the colonoscopy that made me want to shoot myself

The prep was the worst freaking thing ever!

 

[silverbackn]

The night BEFORE it happened??

That's like being pre-pwned by your own ass.

Like MSAM said, the prep is horrendous. You have to drink A GALLON of saline solution which goes straight through you until there is nothing left inside you. In a sick way, it's kind of funny.

 

[Cutiebaby]

lmao. cute

 

[Mr. dB]

I agree, colonoscopys and Fleet Prep Kits are dreadful.

Waking up after the procedure with my rear end packed full of lube was the worst part.

 

[silverbackn]

I don't remember anything except waking up in the recovery area with my dad, he told me I had been arguing with the nurse about weight training. That sounds about right.

 

[Mr. dB]

I don't remember anything except waking up in the recovery area with my dad, he told me I had been arguing with the nurse about weight training. That sounds about right.

I woke up during my procedure. I raised my head, saw a number of people standing around the table while I was on my back, legs in the air, with a hose up my butt and my privates hanging out for all to see. I mumbled something about "I really don't want to be here right now" and willed myself back to sleep.

 

[silverbackn]

I woke up during my procedure. I raised my head, saw a number of people standing around the table while I was on my back, legs in the air, with a hose up my butt and my privates hanging out for all to see. I mumbled something about "I really don't want to be here right now" and willed myself back to sleep.

OMG, that is terrible. I didn't wake up until way after they were done thank god.

 

[msam76]

I had to drink this stuff called "Go Lightly" it was a tasteless powder that you mixed with water or juice. Should have been called "Go explosively"

 

[SgtSlaughter]

Quality.

 

[silverbackn]

I had to drink this stuff called "Go Lightly" it was a tasteless powder that you mixed with water or juice. Should have been called "Go explosively"

LMAO! It is the real deal, it's hours and hours of dumb and dumber

 

[Sassy69]

OMG. Bless you guys for sharing the reality of it - I will never take it as lightly as I did when I first read this thing.

"Go Lightly".... god.

 

[gjohnson5]

Yes , doesn't sound fun

 

[silverbackn]

All of my colonoscopy soldiers unite!

 

[Mr. dB]

OMG, that is terrible. I didn't wake up until way after they were done thank god.

I didn't wake up again until I was in the recovery room, with a sudden and pressing need to void myself of whatever lubricant they had packed me full of.

 

[silverbackn]

I didn't wake up again until I was in the recovery room, with a sudden and pressing need to void myself of whatever lubricant they had packed me full of.

Dude, that is terrible, I bet you felt violated something awful

 

[msam76]

I farted really loudly (from all the air they inflated my colon with) that is what woke me up! And of course, I blamed it on the guy next to me

 

[musclemom]

Well, that tears it, I'm going on vacation the week my husband gets it done.

Sounds totally revolting for family members, and debasing for the patient. Can't medicine do anything with a level of respect for human dignity?

 

[silverbackn]

I farted really loudly (from all the air they inflated my colon with) that is what woke me up! And of course, I blamed it on the guy next to me

You had no choice but to blame it on someone else. It's not that bad MM, its the night before that is kind of rough. It will be fine.

 

[msam76]

yeah MM, the drugs are REAL nice and last a while

 

[heatherrae]

Funny joke!

I stopped reading the colonoscopy horrors....eeeeccccckkkkk!

 

[Mr. dB]

Well, that tears it, I'm going on vacation the week my husband gets it done.

Sounds totally revolting for family members, and debasing for the patient. Can't medicine do anything with a level of respect for human dignity?

I'm trying to imagine a more dignified way for them to stick a flexible hose with a camera on the end of it up your butt. Nope, I can't.

 

[RADAR]

The worst part is laying in the recovery room,good looking nurses walking by all the while your legs tense up,tears swell in your eyes you start shivering while turning red in the face after everything you try ,you still rip a "Loud" one loose for all to hear, i bury my head under the sheets!


RADAR

 

[sarita]

I'm an Endoscopy RN. I would say about 99% of the patients feel that the hardest part of it is the preparation- I hear that every day. Anxiety about this procedure is very common, so are misconceptions. You would be amazed at the number of polyps we remove even in young people in thier 30s. It is so sad when people delay screening colonoscopy as colon cancer often has no symptoms until its too late.
The majority of my patients are pleasantly suprised afterwards. We strive to maintain the patients dignity and make them feel comfortable. As far as releasing the gas afterwards, we educate the patient beforehand so they know what to expect after, its nothing foul as the colon is clean, and that its "music to our ears" .