Clen and Protein: Explosion.

[ChefWide]

This morning, still reeling from the joys of Wee Iceland slapping Goliath Italy 2-0 in football (soccer), I got up early and did my usual ride, nothing special, just a maintainence ride. Get back to the house, get ready for work, feeling pretty sharp: new gunmetal Dickies on and a raw silk navy v neck T. Ready to kick ass at this mornings staff cutting meeting, dead wood goes.

I am about to spoon protein out of a 10lb tub into the blender when Mrs. Chef 'reminds' me not to leave any powder laying around the kitchen, someone is coming to see the house this morning and she doesn't want the usual Hurricane Wide to blow through the kitchen.



I get a bit shakey about this time of day with my current 'asthma' medication and, of course, spill a half a scoop of protein all over the counter. Pissed, I lay the top back on the tub and go for a rag an the dust pan... here it comes...

As I am cleaning the counter, I reach for the protein tub, grab only the top and not the actual tub and pull. Tub falls to the floor, lands PERFECTLY square right on its bottom, sending Mt. St. Proteins firing strait into the air. I am standing right above it, holding the top, the protein has litterally turned the air in the kitchen into a white out. I let some colorful language go, which of course my kids LOVE, my wife HATES, and she comes into the kitchen to see Cheffy/Frosty the Snowman standing in the shaddow of Mt. Pinatubo.

Litterally emptied half the protein into the air, on the floor and all over the counters/cabinets. Up my nose, behind my glasses, forget about hair, every square inch of the kitchen dusted. I cleaned for a solid half hour and barely made a dent.

I am Job.

I will be doing double kitty penance and multiple Sacred Wheelbarrow Dances to make up for that tonight, for sure.

 

[TADHealth]

Thanks for the laugh CW, hope the rest of your day goes a little better. Damn shame wasting the goods like that.

 

[ChefWide]

Thanks for the laugh CW, hope the rest of your day goes a little better. Damn shame wasting the goods like that.

That is a shame. 10lbs of designer whey costs about $60 bucks here. Not as much as the crow I will be sauteeing for my dinner tonight...

 

[WODIN]

That's price is robbery!

Good imagery.

 

[ChefWide]

That's price is robbery!

Good imagery.

You must remember: Iceland has the worlds highest cost of living and a lovely 24.5% VAT on pretty much everything.

That's why when I travel I take one carryon bag and come back with two monster bags packed with goods.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

 

[FreeballinDC]

I get a bit shakey about this time of day with my current 'asthma' medication...

So that's what you call it these days.

Actually, I thought this thread was about another kind of "explosion".

 

[ChefWide]

So that's what you call it these days.

Actually, I thought this thread was about another kind of "explosion".

 

[Buddy_Christ]

So that's what you call it these days.

Actually, I thought this thread was about another kind of "explosion".

would you be referring to the type of explosion similar to the one he had when he carried little ms. 19-year-old-wants-to-fuck-his-brains-out-across-the-gym-because-she-kept-flashing-him-her-tits? i kind of thought the same thing when i clicked on this thread.

 

[Optimus B]

great story bro, made me LMAO

 

[FreeballinDC]

Yeah, that kind of explosion, only worse.

He gets flashed by tits, and I get nothing.

 

[velvett]

So NOT what I was expecting from the title and yet that turns out to be a good thing.

 

[ChefWide]

I tried to tell her 'Do NOT use water to clean this. You will want to use DRY cloths, do NOT use water..."

I now have a paper-mache kitchen. I am in for some dark times.

 

[d3track]

lol paper mache kitchen
i learned that the hard way as well

 

[Buddy_Christ]

chef, i strongly suggest you work on stretching your tounge and jaw muscles for tonight...she's gonna make you lick until you're sore for this one

 

[ChefWide]

chef, i strongly suggest you work on stretching your tounge and jaw muscles for tonight...she's gonna make you lick until you're sore for this one

Tellin' ya.

No worries. I utilize the ChefWide Watermellon Candy Tongue-robics method. That and I do Tongue'lates every day.

I am just about about able to lick the entire Haka Chinese Character Set in caligraphic form... twice.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

Tellin' ya.

No worries. I utilize the ChefWide Watermellon Candy Tongue-robics method. That and I do Tongue'lates every day.

I am just about about able to lick the entire Haka Chinese Character Set in caligraphic form... twice.

i have no clue what that is, but it doesn't sound like it's a quick licking...

i've never actually completed the alphabet. the furthest i've ever gotten was 'T,' after spending a lot of time on I and O.

 

[V-Machine]

lol sohulda just vacuumed that shit up.

But then I reckon she shoulda made you pick it all up with tweezers.

 

[ChefWide]

lol sohulda just vacuumed that shit up.

But then I reckon she shoulda made you pick it all up with tweezers.

you know my wife?


I had a meeting that I could not cancel. Now I have a meeting with destiny.

 

[Werd]

I would have soooooooooo put a hurtin' on your ass Cheffy smoov....

 

[ChefWide]

I would have soooooooooo put a hurtin' on your ass Cheffy smoov....

Getting an new 'back door' installed by Mrs Chef even as we speak. She is on MSN describing my sackostomy right now.

 

[Dial_tone]

You must increase your bench press by 25lbs before giving karma to ChefWide again.

Hilarious, mang.

 

[ChefWide]

Here we go now. Here is where the little episode from this morning turns into The Big Red One.

She got it wet. It turned to sludge. She got pissed. She split to the pool with the boys and .... wait for it... let it dry.

What consistency does dry protein shake have? Can you say "Surgical Glue"? Or maybe "Quickcrete"?

I am in shit so deep right now I need a snorkel to breath.

 

[velvett]

Look at the bright side - this day will eventually end.

 

[jerkbox]

shoulda vacuumed that shit

 

[ChefWide]

shoulda vacuumed that shit

Have you had much luck with throwing 'shouldas' at a woman?

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

lmao of Cheefy Smoove. (with a "VE")

 

[SoreArms]

this will be funny to you in about a week or so

 

[pitbullstl]

This morning, still reeling from the joys of Wee Iceland slapping Goliath Italy 2-0 in football (soccer), I got up early and did my usual ride, nothing special, just a maintainence ride. Get back to the house, get ready for work, feeling pretty sharp: new gunmetal Dickies on and a raw silk navy v neck T. Ready to kick ass at this mornings staff cutting meeting, dead wood goes.

I am about to spoon protein out of a 10lb tub into the blender when Mrs. Chef 'reminds' me not to leave any powder laying around the kitchen, someone is coming to see the house this morning and she doesn't want the usual Hurricane Wide to blow through the kitchen.



I get a bit shakey about this time of day with my current 'asthma' medication and, of course, spill a half a scoop of protein all over the counter. Pissed, I lay the top back on the tub and go for a rag an the dust pan... here it comes...

As I am cleaning the counter, I reach for the protein tub, grab only the top and not the actual tub and pull. Tub falls to the floor, lands PERFECTLY square right on its bottom, sending Mt. St. Proteins firing strait into the air. I am standing right above it, holding the top, the protein has litterally turned the air in the kitchen into a white out. I let some colorful language go, which of course my kids LOVE, my wife HATES, and she comes into the kitchen to see Cheffy/Frosty the Snowman standing in the shaddow of Mt. Pinatubo.

Litterally emptied half the protein into the air, on the floor and all over the counters/cabinets. Up my nose, behind my glasses, forget about hair, every square inch of the kitchen dusted. I cleaned for a solid half hour and barely made a dent.

I am Job.

I will be doing double kitty penance and multiple Sacred Wheelbarrow Dances to make up for that tonight, for sure.

You realize of coure, that you truly missed your calling in life.........as a short story writer.

The one of the poo and the bus ride in Europe, graces the wall of my employees bathroom at my lot.

 

[Scotsman]

Ah Chef again your amusing prose has made my day at work more bearable. Again I thank you for sharing the mysterious happenings of you life with us. That sucks about the waiste of good protein and that you need a hammer and chisel to clean you kitchen now. Good luck with the wife tonight, I hope she doesn't erupt like Pinatubo on you.

Cheers,
Scotsman