Dude, you are the worst hypochondriac on this board. Get some fucking health insurance already. Aren't you a full time student? Get dad to cover you. If he don't have insurance, just get some through the college? Half the reason you freak out about shit is because you have no health coverage ... if nothing else, go on welfare or something, seriously.
If you're worried about an STD, go find a clinic (like Planned Parenthood), but honestly, sounds like you bruised yourself and you're swollen, which would account for the numbness, discoloration and pee spraying all over.