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Cheating ...

medicj

Banned
My co worker's husband cheated on her but now says he is really sorry and he feels really bad. Is this even possible? Can u really love someone and cheat on them at the same time? really??
 
yes, some people are different, I have done it in the past, some people just have screwed up minds, like me, sucks..........:(
 
lardo5150 said:
yes, some people are different, I have done it in the past, some people just have screwed up minds, like me, sucks..........:(
But will they always do the same thing, again, if they were really sorry?
 
medicj said:
But will they always do the same thing, again, if they were really sorry?
Great point!
Was about to pretty much say the same thing...
my take on this is there's a loss of trust now.
 
I cheated on my girlfriend earlier this year and told her about it, didnt try to hide it. Later I saw the error of my ways and what I lost out on and decided to try and get back together. She took me back, apprehensively of course, but now everything is great and she doesnt hold anything against me or harbor any ill will. Weve even cracked a few lighthearted jokes at my expense LOL. Dont believe the axiom "once a cheater always a cheater". There are plenty of cases where someone cheats and finds out the grass isnt greener on the other side and then gets back together with the person cheated on. Its all a case by case basis to decide whether or not its worth getting back together with someone that cheated and one catchy phrase doesnt cover all people.
 
Ah, you are killing me. Some guys are different (I might learn a lesson here while I am trying to explain it so thanks)
I have done it multiple times, felt horrible each time, and each time I said never again.
But, like some animal in heat, the thrill of something new, even if they are not better than the person you are with in any way, is exciting. trust me, wish I never had those feelings, I would be a better person, but you cant turn them off, call it an animal instinct if you wish, but god I would do anything not to have them. Maybe its because I have not met the right person yet, who knows. Where are the psychologits at?
 
superdave said:
I cheated on my girlfriend earlier this year and told her about it, didnt try to hide it. Later I saw the error of my ways and what I lost out on and decided to try and get back together. She took me back, apprehensively of course, but now everything is great and she doesnt hold anything against me or harbor any ill will. Weve even cracked a few lighthearted jokes at my expense LOL. Dont believe the axiom "once a cheater always a cheater". There are plenty of cases where someone cheats and finds out the grass isnt greener on the other side and then gets back together with the person cheated on. Its all a case by case basis to decide whether or not its worth getting back together with someone that cheated and one catchy phrase doesnt cover all people.


good point also.
 
yes you can love someone and cheat on them.

it is still disrespectful, but it doesn't mean you don't love the person. Sex can be a totally physical act, nothing more, nothing less.
 
lardo5150 said:
Ah, you are killing me. Some guys are different (I might learn a lesson here while I am trying to explain it so thanks)
I have done it multiple times, felt horrible each time, and each time I said never again.
But, like some animal in heat, the thrill of something new, even if they are not better than the person you are with in any way, is exciting. trust me, wish I never had those feelings, I would be a better person, but you cant turn them off, call it an animal instinct if you wish, but god I would do anything not to have them. Maybe its because I have not met the right person yet, who knows. Where are the psychologits at?
Possible sex addict. Im serious. You should go see a professional about it as it will not bode well for your future.
 
superdave said:
I cheated on my girlfriend earlier this year and told her about it, didnt try to hide it. Later I saw the error of my ways and what I lost out on and decided to try and get back together. She took me back, apprehensively of course, but now everything is great and she doesnt hold anything against me or harbor any ill will. Weve even cracked a few lighthearted jokes at my expense LOL. Dont believe the axiom "once a cheater always a cheater". There are plenty of cases where someone cheats and finds out the grass isnt greener on the other side and then gets back together with the person cheated on. Its all a case by case basis to decide whether or not its worth getting back together with someone that cheated and one catchy phrase doesnt cover all people.
Thanx. I try not to believe everything I hear when people are put into catagories. Plus, I don't want to hate men .... Thanx for your info.
I would still burn my man ALIVE if I caught him ... but to each his own. :verygood: :evil: :evil: :verygood:
 
medicj said:
Thanx. I try not to believe everything I hear when people are put into catagories. Plus, I don't want to hate men .... Thanx for your info.
I would still burn my man ALIVE if I caught him ... but to each his own. :verygood: :evil: :evil: :verygood:


You should :)
 
I never considered it cheating as I told the women I was involved with that they would not be the only person I was going to be seeing. Now, man, how times have changed.

Zig
 
ziggyziggy said:
I never considered it cheating as I told the women I was involved with that they would not be the only person I was going to be seeing. Now, man, how times have changed.

Zig
That isn't cheating. I'm female and men CAN be jerks ... but Zig, I soooo got your back on that one. :)
 
SublimeZM said:
if one person doenst cheat the other one will.

its nature

Not necessarily. There are things called honor, personal responsibility, and honesty. These things can overcome biological urges, and impulses. Sadly, in this day and age, they seem to be falling by the wayside.

Zig
 
I REALLY have never cheated. Not because of the men I have been with but because I thought if I needed to lie and be sneaky .... I would be screwing myself. If I need something more, it's time to move on. That's how I have always thought about the whole thing.
 
ziggyziggy said:
Not necessarily. There are things called honor, personal responsibility, and honesty. These things can overcome biological urges, and impulses. Sadly, in this day and age, they seem to be falling by the wayside.

Zig
AMEN BRADA, AMEN!
K to ya just for that...I totally agree!
:beer:
 
Seashell said:
To me, if you love someone, there is no way you would even consider doing something that would hurt them that much.

I would never give a cheater another chance.
I see your point. That's why I started this thread. But some people are a strange kind of animal....
 
Seashell said:
To me, if you love someone, there is no way you would even consider doing something that would hurt them that much.

I would never give a cheater another chance.

Amen. But then again I would never give anyone the chance to cheat on me in the first place.
 
ziggyziggy said:
Not necessarily. There are things called honor, personal responsibility, and honesty. These things can overcome biological urges, and impulses. Sadly, in this day and age, they seem to be falling by the wayside.

Zig
honesty and responsability are all relative, some people lose interest if they have nothing to fight for...

i was just saying that to say it, and its not always true, but peopel will do things to piss of their SO, and the things that piss them off are the reasons they stay together.

anger leads to excitement

hate leads to friendship

confusion leads to understanding

its all zen
 
you know what? every break up and every fuck over hurts less than the last. the scars on my body are nothing compared to the ones inside. i feel bad for the woman i marry. she's gonna get about 10% of my true feelings.
 
Seashell said:
To me, if you love someone, there is no way you would even consider doing something that would hurt them that much.

I would never give a cheater another chance.
i wouldnt, simply because of the health implications... like if someone is sleeping around on u, u dont know what they might catch....

thats a pretty dumb reason, but thats the main reason (at least thinking on it) id wanna be in a monogamous relationship

but i also dont think im gunna be a onenightstander,and only sex up people i really have feelings for and intend to stay with for long periods of time, just so "banging the same pussy" over and over wont feel boring
 
HumanTarget said:
you know what? every break up and every fuck over hurts less than the last. the scars on my body are nothing compared to the ones inside. i feel bad for the woman i marry. she's gonna get about 10% of my true feelings.
Holy fuck orb. Ive been trying to distill the dating experience of my whole life down to one idea and you fucking nailed it. Ive thought about it and Im only 30 but am just a shadow of myself compared to the excitement and romance I used to be capable of. All because of the dating wasteland Ive been through, and some bad choices of course.
How to get the fire and excitement back? That is the question.
One moment made it all clear the other day when I told my girlfriend I was taking her out and it was a surprise and she said "cool, it can be a date night then". I thought to myself "wow, we sound like we are old and married forever but we are both 30 and been together less than a year LOL."
 
superdave said:
Holy fuck orb. Ive been trying to distill the dating experience of my whole life down to one idea and you fucking nailed it. Ive thought about it and Im only 30 but am just a shadow of myself compared to the excitement and romance I used to be capable of. All because of the dating wasteland Ive been through, and some bad choices of course.
How to get the fire and excitement back? That is the question.
One moment made it all clear the other day when I told my girlfriend I was taking her out and it was a surprise and she said "cool, it can be a date night then". I thought to myself "wow, we sound like we are old and married forever but we are both 30 and been together less than a year LOL."
i've dated nothing but shallow bar chicks with barely a veneer of humanity covering a hollow, soulless husk.
 
jack_schitt said:
Have you been snooping around my house or what?
If u love someone set him free .... if he doesn't come back it's because he's with me.... :evil:
Well, nevermind. I guess u like girls. There all yours ... don't want them ... my bad ... I'm going now. :verygood:
 
Seashell said:
I would never give a cheater another chance.
I agree me neither.

However there are woman that are fine with it seriously some that are not really that oblivious but know there man is cheating. Yet stay and let it happen for what ever reasons. This is an absolute double standard but I do beleive a majortiy of men could cheat on there woman but still truly love them. I don't think woman for the most part are able to do that.
 
jack_schitt said:
Amen. But then again I would never give anyone the chance to cheat on me in the first place.

hey, sometimes you can do totally everything right and the other one will still cheat
 
superdave said:
Holy fuck orb. Ive been trying to distill the dating experience of my whole life down to one idea and you fucking nailed it. Ive thought about it and Im only 30 but am just a shadow of myself compared to the excitement and romance I used to be capable of. All because of the dating wasteland Ive been through, and some bad choices of course.
How to get the fire and excitement back? That is the question.
One moment made it all clear the other day when I told my girlfriend I was taking her out and it was a surprise and she said "cool, it can be a date night then". I thought to myself "wow, we sound like we are old and married forever but we are both 30 and been together less than a year LOL."
my numbness has cost me, though. my lil' French Canadian/Inuit pixie left me cuz i was such an emotional flatline. i'm trying to snap out of it, i'm tryin' reeeal hard, Ringo...........
 
lardo5150 said:
I guess I am a strange animal. But this thread has opened my eyes more.
Mine, 2. We all have much to learn from each other. But be careful ... some will make u dumber, 2. ;)
 
Bottom line in my book is that if you are going to cheat, then there is no reason to enter into a long term relationship. Tell the woman (or man, for you ladies), that you are going to see other people. If they are not cool with that, they will let you know in no uncertain terms, LOL. If they accept what you tell them as the way it is going to be, then you are good to go. Believe me, there are plenty of the latter to go around. A person doesn;t have to lie to get strange.

Zig
 
sorry medicj but your girlfriend is screwed...chances are if the guy cheated...he WILL do it again...i honestly know about 15-20 guys that have NEVER once cheated on their gfs...the sad part is i know ALOT of people...so the vast majority have...

personally i have never cheated :) ...n do not intend to...if i just HAVE to have sex with/see someone else...then i at least will have the decency in me to break it off and tell her why and stuff then go out with another person...and i mean no offense to those guys here that have cheated because i know everyone's different and has diff. temptations, etc. i just never found it tempting enough to hurt someone i care about for another piece of ass for a night or 2.. :heart:
 
HumanTarget said:
my numbness has cost me, though. my lil' French Canadian/Inuit pixie left me cuz i was such an emotional flatline. i'm trying to snap out of it, i'm tryin' reeeal hard, Ringo...........
I hear ya. the numbness leads to calculated thinking in order to make sparks, kinda sounds contradictory but whatever works. Definetely lacking in spontanaeity nowadays.
 
If you truly love someone you would put there happiness before your own, and when you can understand that, then answer seems very obvious, that it's just not in you to cheat on someone when you are "In love"
 
medicj said:
My co worker's husband cheated on her but now says he is really sorry and he feels really bad. Is this even possible? Can u really love someone and cheat on them at the same time? really??


no i am sorry. once a cheater always a cheater. i have worked in night clubs for 10 years now. i have seen so much shit it isnt funny. i had guys that told there wives they had to work and then show up to the club with a different woman. some got caught, said they were sorry. they stopped cheating for a while, then the oportunity presents itslef once again and bam, they do it again. there is a reason they cheated on you in the first place. either they are not happy but they are secure but want more so they go off and get it. im sorry but seeing what i saw, once a guy cheats he is destined to do it again.
 
This may sound stupid (OK it does), but people cheat for a reason. Either they are not happy in their relationship & don't have the guts to change it, they are twisted souls who cannot be trustworthy, or they are driven to it for some reason. The last one is a from of cowardice also, for if their S.O. isn't providing something they need, then it should be addressed at home.
I think the first 2 reasons IMO are the definite end to a relatinship. The last one, I think, can be worked out through therapy.
I need to clarify this, but I'm fuggin wasted & have to go to bed.
 
hidngod said:
This may sound stupid (OK it does), but people cheat for a reason. Either they are not happy in their relationship & don't have the guts to change it, they are twisted souls who cannot be trustworthy, or they are driven to it for some reason. The last one is a from of cowardice also, for if their S.O. isn't providing something they need, then it should be addressed at home.
I think the first 2 reasons IMO are the definite end to a relatinship. The last one, I think, can be worked out through therapy.
I need to clarify this, but I'm fuggin wasted & have to go to bed.
very true words. it's sad though, that once a person starts thinking about cheating, not much can stop them from doing it.
 
OK, with regards to my third point, above. If communication isn't good between a couple & something is going on with one of them, sexually, emotionally, or whatever, they may be denying their partner something they need. For men, I think sex is an important one, & for women it's something a little less tangible, but maybe more important, emotional support.
If you're not getting it at home, after a certain process of resentment & self pity, you'll go looking for it elsewhere.
The partner needs to be made aware of your feelings in a non threatening manner.
Not sure how the women view this, but if you withhold sex from a man and cannot make him understand why, he will assume you don't love him. If you don't want sex, but he wants it, help him out. There are ways, with your mouth, or hands. If you are a man withholding sex from a woman, call me, I'll help out. ;)
Never use sex as a bargaining tool. It'll backfire.
If it goes too far & you cheat, then there's the trust thing that needs to be dealt with too, so I'd say professional intervention would be required.
 
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I don't cheat, nor have I ever cheated on any woman.

I treat others the way I want to be treated. I would not want a woman to cheat on me, so I won't do it to her. Period. And if a woman does cheat on me then we are through because I cannot trust her again. Period.

What good is a relationship if you can't trust your SO?
 
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