Cheap Ass Friends

[timtim]

opinions,

i have a very good friend of nearly 15 years. in my wedding, love the guy. he dated and married a shady ass bitch with zero personality. my wife and i love having small gatherings at the house. we have had this couple over 7 times, tomorrow will be 8, in the last year and half or so. we provide all food and alcohol, as hosts do. they have never had us over for drinks or dinner and they never bring any alcohol or dessert. they have her friends over all the time for small parties.

tomorrows party was sort of imposed on us. dude immediately starts crying the blues about his budget. WE ARE ALL ON BUDGETS! i tell him im cool with the dinner, we will pay for food but we are not getting the alcohol (we dont drink) and if he wants in on some weed, he has to pay in. he then starts to back out of the party because he needs to save his money.

my wife is alittle fed up with this couple. they spend money on themselves but are CHEAP as fuck when it comes to us and we have taken care of these people nicely over the years. my wife said, prior to the imposed party tomorrow, that we are not having them over anymore till they reciprocate. after the imposition, she wants me to say something. i told her that would cause issues and we will just call tomorrow it and if they try and impose then ill tell him to start pulling his own weight.

opinions please.

 

[drsketch]

things should rightfully be a 2way street, never give expecting but goddamn in that long of a period time and its just a one way street I would stop hosting,.

 

[Chocolate_Thunder]

opinions,

i have a very good friend of nearly 15 years. in my wedding, love the guy. he dated and married a shady ass bitch with zero personality. my wife and i love having small gatherings at the house. we have had this couple over 7 times, tomorrow will be 8, in the last year and half or so. we provide all food and alcohol, as hosts do. they have never had us over for drinks or dinner and they never bring any alcohol or dessert. they have her friends over all the time for small parties.

tomorrows party was sort of imposed on us. dude immediately starts crying the blues about his budget. WE ARE ALL ON BUDGETS! i tell him im cool with the dinner, we will pay for food but we are not getting the alcohol (we dont drink) and if he wants in on some weed, he has to pay in. he then starts to back out of the party because he needs to save his money.

my wife is alittle fed up with this couple. they spend money on themselves but are CHEAP as fuck when it comes to us and we have taken care of these people nicely over the years. my wife said, prior to the imposed party tomorrow, that we are not having them over anymore till they reciprocate. after the imposition, she wants me to say something. i told her that would cause issues and we will just call tomorrow it and if they try and impose then ill tell him to start pulling his own weight.

opinions please.

There's your answer.

Plus you need new friends. If they are going to be this cheap it is just going to cost you more money to host more parties for them. Don't even get me started on the mental mind f*#k they are putting on you.

 

[blueta2]

I would not have them over anymore either.
Besides, I hate doing couples stuff.

 

[timtim]

things should rightfully be a 2way street, never give expecting but goddamn in that long of a period time and its just a one way street I would stop hosting,.

our other friends are polar opposite. its this one couple. tomorrow is it. we never expect anything, but i would never show up for a party without a dessert or bottle of grey goose/ketel one.

this same couple was in charge of dessert for a big christmas party we had. we catered it but asked for pot luck in the form of alcohol and he said he got the desserts. we had about 30 people over. motherfucker showed up with an entemans crumb cake. my wife threw it out in front of him and in front of about 8 people told him when you take responsibility for dessert for a party you dont go jew style and spend 4 bucks.

 

[MaGilicuti]

i hate when ppl just don't get it. this couple should feel ashamed of themselves. tough spot man

 

[needtogetarmy]

I agree with all that is said above. He needs to quit his complaining.

 

[timtim]

There's your answer.

Plus you need new friends. If they are going to be this cheap it is just going to cost you more money to host more parties for them. Don't even get me started on the mental mind f*#k they are putting on you.

my wife is PISSED. she has been saying this for a few months now. tomorrow is definately it, but i feel bad. this is a close, good friend. his woman is the reason for all this we feel. she hates my wife and i. my other very close friends wife actually said something in a joking/non-joking way about how they have never hosted us for anything and he laughed it off, like it was funny - but it wasnt.

 

[Chocolate_Thunder]

my wife is PISSED. she has been saying this for a few months now. tomorrow is definately it, but i feel bad. this is a close, good friend. his woman is the reason for all this we feel. she hates my wife and i. my other very close friends wife actually said something in a joking/non-joking way about how they have never hosted us for anything and he laughed it off, like it was funny - but it wasnt.

If the wife is pissed, it's gonna come full circle to you in more ways than one and trust me YOU DON'T WANT THAT.

If you still have to be friends with the guy just do stuff with him one on one.

 

[timtim]

very tough situation. im not one to cause issues. i love my friend but just like all of the opinions here. dude has to realize the situation. i think he may be taking a free lunch. makes me upset.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Dude, listen to your wife. Sounds to me like you need some new friends.

My husband and I are very generous and we LOVE to entertain/socialize and we don't EVER expect a thing in return but if we feel that anyone is taking advantage then we just stop socializing.

 

[timtim]

Dude, listen to your wife. Sounds to me like you need some new friends.

My husband and I are very generous and we LOVE to entertain/socialize and we don't EVER expect a thing in return but if we feel that anyone is taking advantage then we just stop socializing.

yea, some real good outside opinions in this thread.

i cant give out any more karma today, reached my max right as i went to hit magilicuti. ill get you all back within 24 hours. thanks.

 

[blueta2]

my wife is PISSED. she has been saying this for a few months now. tomorrow is definately it, but i feel bad. this is a close, good friend. his woman is the reason for all this we feel. she hates my wife and i. my other very close friends wife actually said something in a joking/non-joking way about how they have never hosted us for anything and he laughed it off, like it was funny - but it wasnt.

don't assume someone hate you or your wife. There are reasons for everything.

I stopped having people over. I'm sure peeps think I hate them, but in reality, I'm in a bad place in life and just don't want to socialize.

 

[Arabian]

Dude, listen to your wife. Sounds to me like you need some new friends.

My husband and I are very generous and we LOVE to entertain/socialize and we don't EVER expect a thing in return but if we feel that anyone is taking advantage then we just stop socializing.

I agree with BM ,,, you should listen to her...

 

[timtim]

don't assume someone hate you or your wife. There are reasons for everything.

I stopped having people over. I'm sure peeps think I hate them, but in reality, I'm in a bad place in life and just don't want to socialize.

true, but they have her friends over for small things 1 or 2 times a month.

 

[stosstruppe]

I think it's sad your mate doesn't think enough of his 15 year friend ship to spend a few quid bringing over the booze and desserts & other trivial shit that goods friends reciprocate.

I read on here a lot of older members that gradually phase out friends when time shows them to be fucking lousy.

 

[Bikini Mod]

true, but they have her friends over for small things 1 or 2 times a month.

Didn't you say that they were supposed to bring desert to a gathering and brought a freaking entenmann's crumb cake? That would have been IT for me.

This isn't about money. This is about manners and class.

 

[cindylou]

I have a couple like this in my life too

there will always be people like this, I always just pay anyway

they offer more to me with their friendship and i just want them around to make things more fun

i just want them with me. i dunno.

 

[rnch]

...This isn't about money. This is about manners and class.

or lack of....

 

[timtim]

Didn't you say that they were supposed to bring desert to a gathering and brought a freaking entenmann's crumb cake? That would have been IT for me.

This isn't about money. This is about manners and class.

my wife was bent out of shape that night big time.

everyone here has valid points.

stosstruppe, ive been thinking the same lately.

thanks all. i do have somethings to think about.

i read somewhere that people come in and out of your life as you need them or vice versa. i wonder if this is the beginning of the exit here. i love the guy too. its funny though, this is the 4th person, my brother included, who has been completely changed by a serious relationship.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I have a couple like this in my life too

there will always be people like this, I always just pay anyway

they offer more to me with their friendship and i just want them around to make things more fun

i just want them with me. i dunno.

We have friends that can't afford a lot of the things that we can so we don't mind treating in that case. For example, we went out the other night to a concert and my husband upgraded all our seats to the VIP section. Now this couple makes good money but still, they would have been happy to just stand downstairs with everyone else who paid the regular admission tickets. Ya'll don't even want to know what that cost but my husband volunteered because the couple is very good friends of ours. We got pretty obliterated because he got some really difficult news so we wanted to have a memorable night and say FUCK YOU to cancer...

It isn't always about money. But from timtim's posts is seems there is something more going on here and if you aren't feeling appreciated by your friends then I am thinkin they aren't really your friends.

 

[drsketch]

our other friends are polar opposite. its this one couple. tomorrow is it. we never expect anything, but i would never show up for a party without a dessert or bottle of grey goose/ketel one.

this same couple was in charge of dessert for a big christmas party we had. we catered it but asked for pot luck in the form of alcohol and he said he got the desserts. we had about 30 people over. motherfucker showed up with an entemans crumb cake. my wife threw it out in front of him and in front of about 8 people told him when you take responsibility for dessert for a party you dont go jew style and spend 4 bucks.

haha your wife sounds cool! haha

 

[silverstar1025]

Sounds like you need to drop those friends. I HAD a couple of friends like that. I don't expect things in return from people, but I don't like to be taken advantage of either.

 

[cindylou]

LOL I didnt read about the crumb cake

the dude's wife should have known better

what it sounds like is that she does not like you guys and has left the man to deal with the parties that involve his friends

him, being a guy, does not know the ettiqute maybe she probably refused to make a dessert and he just picked something up on the way. he's a guy. lol

i say dont do the couple's thing with them anymore, but still keep in touch with your buddy

i wouldnt say anything either

just quit having them over together.

 

[timtim]

my wife has said the same thing about i can hang with him, but fuck the couples stuff. problem is, when we have couples over, we are all friends, how do i not include 1 couple? this is going to be an ongoing issue now. i feel it in my boner, i mean bones.

 

[rnch]

sadly, i have lost a couple of good bros to marriage....unless ya'll are also HER pre-marriage friends the new wife views you as a threat to her marriage.


AKA "feminine logic".

 

[Bikini Mod]

my wife has said the same thing about i can hang with him, but fuck the couples stuff. problem is, when we have couples over, we are all friends, how do i not include 1 couple? this is going to be an ongoing issue now. i feel it in my boner, i mean bones.

... esay, just don't invite them over.

 

[cindylou]

my wife has said the same thing about i can hang with him, but fuck the couples stuff. problem is, when we have couples over, we are all friends, how do i not include 1 couple? this is going to be an ongoing issue now. i feel it in my boner, i mean bones.

when he asks about why he's not invited to couples stuff, then reply and tell him about how his wife obviously does not care for you and your wife, explain, tell him how you know its not his fault

and then wallah - either he bitches at his wife and things change and she gets better - or - the more than likely you will just hang with him solo minus the wife

 

[rnch]

when he asks about why he's not invited to couples stuff, then reply and tell him about how his wife obviously does not care for you and your wife, explain, tell him how you know its not his fault

and then wallah - either he bitches at his wife and things change and she gets better - or - the more than likely you will just hang with him solo minus the wife

or--more likely--he will dump you and your wife to make HIS wife happy.

 

[timtim]

sadly, i have lost a couple of good bros to marriage....unless ya'll are also HER pre-marriage friends the new wife views you as a threat to her marriage.


AKA "feminine logic".

this is a very true and sad phenomenon. my wife is going through this with her cousin right now who is about to be married. he is a whipped pussy (very cool and nice) and she has set up bombs with the family. we never see him anymore. this is all before she has the ring, after that he will be gone forever. i never understood the phenomenon but it is real.

 

[timtim]

when he asks about why he's not invited to couples stuff, then reply and tell him about how his wife obviously does not care for you and your wife, explain, tell him how you know its not his fault

and then wallah - either he bitches at his wife and things change and she gets better - or - the more than likely you will just hang with him solo minus the wife

sometimes i get the feeling he knows.

my wife set up a little shopping day for the girls. he says she cant go because she doesnt like to shop. she had over 30k in debt from shopping prior to their getting together. she doesnt like to shop?

my wife set up a passion party (those dildo and sex toy parties), she was the only rsvp no out of 16 hoes.

she, my wife, tries for me because she realizes how good of friends i am with this guy but she is tired now. its bullshit really. we feel like we are kissing ass when in reality, who the fuck needs her. shes a wet mop.

 

[cindylou]

sometimes i get the feeling he knows.

my wife set up a little shopping day for the girls. he says she cant go because she doesnt like to shop. she had over 30k in debt from shopping prior to their getting together. she doesnt like to shop?

my wife set up a passion party (those dildo and sex toy parties), she was the only rsvp no out of 16 hoes.

she, my wife, tries for me because she realizes how good of friends i am with this guy but she is tired now. its bullshit really. we feel like we are kissing ass when in reality, who the fuck needs her. shes a wet mop.

yeah. this is obviously a brush off from the wife. I wonder what her deal is? Most people want to be friendly and nice and have more friends in their life. I wonder what your friend saw in her. She only wants to hang with her own friends and makes no effort with his.

if you two drift apart, I guess it will be his fault not yours. You tried.

I'm not sure if its the fact that they are cheap. Sounds like she's a crappy friend and the guy is clueless on how to hide it.

Tough deal.

 

[rnch]

this is a very true and sad phenomenon. my wife is going through this with her cousin right now who is about to be married. he is a whipped pussy (very cool and nice) and she has set up bombs with the family. we never see him anymore. this is all before she has the ring, after that he will be gone forever. i never understood the phenomenon but it is real.

yes, So Sad when this happens!

i lost my closest, best friend to marriage. this guy was a strong weight lifter, awesome beer drinker, ace pool player, NASCAR fan, cool car guy,...the LAST guy i thought would turn into a pussy wipped wimp. we chased frisbees and gals on lakeshore drive all thru college and even after. we both worked at the same retail store during college; i briefly worked at his post college job when i graduated. people thought he and i were brothers. we were THAT close. when his mother died i held in in my arms as the ambulance carried her to the morgue. he spent more time with me than his future wife at his mother's funeral and after during his grieving period. i was best man at his wedding, in spite of his future wife's wishes. he was someone whom i thought would be a part of my life forever.

gradually, a few months after the marriage, he faded away. he stopped coming by my house on his way home from work. i tried to keep the freindship alive, calling him at work, stopping by his/their house when her mini-van wasn't there.

when it got to the point that we had to stand in the garage door to talk (somehow i got banned from the inside of his/her/their house) i accepted what was happening.

i haven't heard from him in over 6 years; even though he/she/they lived within 4 minutes of my house.

 

[timtim]

yes, So Sad when this happens!

i lost my closest, best friend to marriage. this guy was a strong beer drinker, ace pool player, NASCAR fan, cool car guy,...the LAST guy i thought would turn into a pussy wipped wimp. we chased frisbees and gals on lakeshore drive all thru college and even after. we both worked at the same retail store during college; i briefly worked at his post college job when i graduated. people thought he and i were brothers. we were THAT close. when his mother died i held in in my arms as the ambulance carried her to the morgue. he spent more time with me than his future wife at his mother's funeral and after during his grieving period. i was best man at his wedding, in spite of his future wife's wishes.

gradually he faded away, stopped coming by my house. i tried to keep the freindship alive, calling him at work, stopping by his/their house when her mini-van wasn't there.

when it got to the point that we had to stand in the garage door to talk (somehow i got banned from the inside of his/her/their house) i accepted what was happening.

i haven't heard from him in over 6 years; even though he/she/they lived within 4 minutes of my house.

thats just fucked up. i can see things playing out similar for me. the writings on the wall.

 

[rnch]

thats just fucked up. i can see things playing out similar for me. the writings on the wall.

yeh, dude........you can't fight "the primacy of pussy".

 

[Bikini Mod]

I'm not sure if its the fact that they are cheap. Sounds like she's a crappy friend and the guy is clueless on how to hide it.

I think that cindylou hit the nail on the head. So what is the big deal if the friendship fades? With friends like that who needs enemies?

I mean, ok maybe the guy was different before he married. But accept the reality of the situation - HE IS LIKE THAT NOW.

Move on... should be no skin off your nose.

 

[gonelifting]

If he's that good a friend, I would sit him down alone and tell him what's going to happen. If he wants to change things, it will change. If not, then he heard it from your mouth and will know from now on what the deal is when he's not seen you in 2 years or whatever.

Why have him guessing at things a year from now. You know with his wife by his side, it won't sound pretty. YOU will be the bad guy. But if you sit him down (if he's a good friend) and explain... then things may be different, whether you hang with him or not.

15 years deserves a good sitdown.

good luck. Give me k.

 

[Smurfy]

GOODLIFTING knows what he's talking about. he always gives the absolute best advice out of anyone on the interwebs (all forums included)

 

[canadianhitman]

I think it's sad your mate doesn't think enough of his 15 year friend ship to spend a few quid bringing over the booze and desserts & other trivial shit that goods friends reciprocate.

It's also sad that your friend can't put his wife in check as per respecting his friendship with you and your wife. He should come over and socialize with you two and leave her ass home...she'll get the message.

 

[EnderJE]

I'm sure peeps think I hate them, but in reality, I'm in a bad place in life and just don't want to socialize.

Really? I thought it was because you're a bitch...




...but in a nice way.