Carbonated beverages and my ass

[Nathan]

I have a question. It's a good question so pull up a seat and prepare yourself. Okay. Here she be:

If men had breasts, would milk come out of them?

Also, why does it hurt when I play with myself overly much? That's a really cruel joke I find, don't you think?

 

[casavant]

When I first got gyno, I could squeeze clear fluid out of them, but no milk.

My cack gets sore too. I just jack through it- the pain goes away once the endorphins kick in, anyway.

 

[Nathan]

I'll bet you regret it though when you finish and say to yourself, "Next time I won't pull so damn hard and I'll ease up some. And I won't use those damn medieval gauntlets. Poor bastard."

And when I say breasts, I mean full blown breasts. So, men grow them just as women do at puberty. ALL men we are assuming.

 

[HappyScrappy]

One of my familys friends is a doctor, and I recall when we would have dinner at his house, strange conversations would always ensue.
One of those discussions was that if a man tried to nurse, the body would respond over time and the breast tissue would grow and produce milk - and he claimed that there has even been research towards this... which I don't get how the hell they got people to sign up for that one.

all in all though, I would think carbonated beverages in my ass would tickle like the dickens.

 

[Nathan]

I hope you understand that I will be telling that to everyone i encounter for about the next two weeks or so. It will be my conversation starter at any upcoming parties and concerts and I have a few coming up. Thanks Happy.

 

[HappyScrappy]

you have concerts?

I tried one summer to go on tour, but nobody ever showed up. talk about a blow to the ego - just me standing there in the middle of various arenas - all laced up in my spandex and hair spray with noplace to go.

now I try not to leave my house as much.

 

[Nathan]

Well, I was talking about concerts I was gonna go to like TOOL, but now that you mention it yes I do have concerts. I do them wearing only flippers and a construction helmet cause it's necessary to get the richest sound for my music. I put a microphone to my ass and start by making slapping noises by either spanking my ass cheeks together or using my helmet to spank my ass. I then move on to jumping up and down trying to slap my ass with the flippers. It yields a truly original and powerful tone that many have come to envy me for. Every show is different and I think my fans enjoy that. I also urinate on the mic towards the end and I get a big cheer whenever I do that particular maneuver.

 

[casavant]

Man, the thought of some guy with a baby suckling at his nipple is kinda gross.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Can you hear that sustain... well, you would, were you to pluck it. But don't. In fact, don't even look at it.

something like that.

I would think if you are doing ass slapping, you should at least sport a jock strap

 

[Nathan]

Can you hear that sustain... well, you would, were you to pluck it. But don't. In fact, don't even look at it.

something like that.

I would think if you are doing ass slapping, you should at least sport a jock strap

That won't work since I incorporate my testicles into my show in various ways. For instance, I get them jiggling in counter-clockwise circles at one point and then jump and sandwich my testicles between both flippers (it's a tricky thing to do and hurts a pantload but it's worth it for the applause I get). Moreover, I do this really neatrick where I bend over and bite my testicles off and then swallow them. It's actually merely an optical illusion but it looks very real.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I'll bet many a kid has gone home to try that, not knowing that it is just an illusion.
you sir are a horrible person.

 

[Nathan]

I'll bet many a kid has gone home to try that, not knowing that it is just an illusion.
you sir are a horrible person.

It's an 18 or over show only. I keep a day-care center back stage so that the parents can enjoy the show. Also, I give puppies baths in my spare time.