Can the ladies explain this to me?

[socal7]

Java,

I'm not cassanova in the least, but could it possibly be this psychological idea (plenty of reference in psych studies and books published recently) that's kicking around that you're "too nice?" I know, we guys hear it all the time. But think about it. Why does the hot chick stay with the d*** who treats her decent most of the time, but they argue occasionally and he doesn't treat her like a queen. Sure, its not healthy, but she won't leave his side... ever.

The theory is this: You're not a challenge. You don't keep them interested because everything is "too" perfect. I'm not saying I agree with this theory, or practice it even, but I have friends who have "attempted" to play dating this way and it works. One friend who treats women he goes out with like he knows them already. Act like you've known each other forever, not "the guy who's so perfect in every way this is it forever, there's nothing wrong with him". This dood makes fun of her, treats her like she's one of his guy friends, etc. Again, it may not work or be nice, but this guy has girls calling him back after dates. I call this being a player, which I'm not; but for him it works. But just maybe, play it a little harder to get. Not so "wow, this is so perfect". Pull back a little. See what happens? What could it hurt? Discuss...

 

[javaguru]

Java,

I'm not cassanova in the least, but could it possibly be this psychological idea (plenty of reference in psych studies and books published recently) that's kicking around that you're "too nice?" I know, we guys hear it all the time. But think about it. Why does the hot chick stay with the d*** who treats her decent most of the time, but they argue occasionally and he doesn't treat her like a queen. Sure, its not healthy, but she won't leave his side... ever.

The theory is this: You're not a challenge. You don't keep them interested because everything is "too" perfect. I'm not saying I agree with this theory, or practice it even, but I have friends who have "attempted" to play dating this way and it works. One friend who treats women he goes out with like he knows them already. Act like you've known each other forever, not "the guy who's so perfect in every way this is it forever, there's nothing wrong with him". This dood makes fun of her, treats her like she's one of his guy friends, etc. Again, it may not work or be nice, but this guy has girls calling him back after dates. I call this being a player, which I'm not; but for him it works. But just maybe, play it a little harder to get. Not so "wow, this is so perfect". Pull back a little. See what happens? What could it hurt? Discuss...

I agree, it's something I've experienced after numerous dates, I try not to be too nice until it gets to a certain stage. It's just been my experience most women want a man who is a bit of a "challenge." I tend to sacrifice to make the other person happy, which seems to be interpreted as weakness on a certain level. However, it's the great first date followed by a 180 within the next day or two; I'm somewhat confounded.

 

[Frisky]

I have yet to find a reliable source of human fat, being the Midwest most people seem to like keeping their fat; I need to move to LA.

lol

saw a bit of it tonight at the gym..

 

[javaguru]

lol

saw a bit of it tonight at the gym..

One advantage of having a home gym...I'm training chest right now....I haven't worked out in a commercial gym since Dec. 2004.

 

[Frisky]

One advantage of having a home gym...I'm training chest right now....I haven't worked out in a commercial gym since Dec. 2004.

got my ass kicked tonight... my gosh. i normally train alone. did all last year, trained with a buddy these last two nights and he whipped my ass. lol

i have this little home gym too.. and i'll end up using it more often as i get closer

 

[javaguru]

got my ass kicked tonight... my gosh. i normally train alone. did all last year, trained with a buddy these last two nights and he whipped my ass. lol

i have this little home gym too.. and i'll end up using it more often as i get closer

I have a power cage, 600 lbs of olympic plates, adjustable dumbells up to 150 lbs, incline and flat benches, dip attachment and a belt so i can do weighted chins and dips. Does everything I need.

 

[socal7]

I agree, it's something I've experienced after numerous dates, I try not to be too nice until it gets to a certain stage. It's just been my experience most women want a man who is a bit of a "challenge." I tend to sacrifice to make the other person happy, which seems to be interpreted as weakness on a certain level. However, it's the great first date followed by a 180 within the next day or two; I'm somewhat confounded.

I hear ya man, but I think you just might have sparked something else in my thought process about this... you're calling/emailing/texting them too soon. Again, what if you tried to let them come to you first... give it a few days. I've heard from friend(s), married and still single, that calling too soon nullifies any and all possibilities for a future. My experience is the same. Call too soon, say buh-bye. Give it time. Let the tension brew. Its all about tension, bro.

Not a week, but a few days. See if they call you. Guaranteed if you had such a great time, said goonight, kiss or even no kiss, and it was ALL good as you say, they'll call you in a few days wondering "what's up? I thought we had a good time?" The moment maybe, that you initiate contact, so quick... that may scare them into thinking you're not playing it the right way.

Call me crazy, but some guys out there probably do just this and it works. Its not a science persay, but it is science when you think about it.

 

[javaguru]

I hear ya man, but I think you just might have sparked something else in my thought process about this... you're calling/emailing/texting them too soon. Again, what if you tried to let them come to you first... give it a few days. I've heard from friend(s), married and still single, that calling too soon nullifies any and all possibilities for a future. My experience is the same. Call too soon, say buh-bye. Give it time. Let the tension brew. Its all about tension, bro.

Not a week, but a few days. See if they call you. Guaranteed if you had such a great time, said goonight, kiss or even no kiss, and it was ALL good as you say, they'll call you in a few days wondering "what's up? I thought we had a good time?" The moment maybe, that you initiate contact, so quick... that may scare them into thinking you're not playing it the right way.

Call me crazy, but some guys out there probably do just this and it works. Its not a science persay, but it is science when you think about it.

A certain level of indifference does seem to peak a woman's interest, two days with no phone call and they go,"Why doesn't he like me." However, it really comes down to how much you want to "play teh game." Ever hear guys complain about the women they aren't interested in are all over them? It's teh exacts same reason, except you have genuine indifference, not pretend indifference. These days you also women purchasing these rules style books which really up the game playing. They recommend that women, "never return a man's phone call", "Don't be too available to him," "Never accept a date for the weekend after Wednesday." Mind you, I saw an interview with these women, none of which had credentials and they were in their latye 20's and not even in relationships. From my perspective, if a woman shows by her actions she's not thatt interetsed I just move on, I don't possess that kind of pursuit instinct. If I have two unreturned phone calls, I'll never call again. If a woman is unavailable to me, I'll go find another.

That being said, after a first date I'll likely send an e-mail or make a call and just say thanks for a great date. I really haven't had dating issues with this in general, just the one's I really connect with so it doesn't happen very often. I think a lot of women have an instant fear instinct when they have a great connection right off the bat, maybe I should be more uninteresting and fun? The last two women I connected with both contacted me first. One texted me that night when I was driving home and the other sent me an e-mail the next day, then poof...two unreturned phone calls over the next three days (I gave them a day in between calls). I guess my whole point of this thread was they I don't understand their thinking because mine is opposite, maybe I should ahve left it a rhetorical question.

 

[Frisky]

I have a power cage, 600 lbs of olympic plates, adjustable dumbells up to 150 lbs, incline and flat benches, dip attachment and a belt so i can do weighted chins and dips. Does everything I need.

Thats what I have, kinda combo type thing.. but I only have 300lbs of plates. I have two benches one flat and one adjustable... Only thing I hate on it is the leg extension and ham curl part... never did like those home ones.

 

[EnderJE]

These days you also women purchasing these rules style books which really up the game playing. They recommend that women, "never return a man's phone call", "Don't be too available to him," "Never accept a date for the weekend after Wednesday." Mind you, I saw an interview with these women, none of which had credentials and they were in their latye 20's and not even in relationships.

I swear. We should all collectively write a book and put it out there.