No offense but for anxiety, valium is horrible choice. If a doctor prescribed it for anxiety, I would get a new doctor. Valium hasn't been a recommend treatment for anxiety since the 70's.
The rap on Xanax being so highly addictive is bulls**t. The biggest problem that psychiatrists have is getting the patients to adequately dose themselves.
Now, don't get me wrong here, your body does adjust to taking it so you need to gradually reduce the dosage when you go off it.
Some of the SSRI's mentioned here do have a mild anti-anxiety affect and can be good treatments for mild anxiety.
Bear, sounds like you have moderate to sever anxiety. I would visit a doctor to get a prescription. It'll take a lot of stress out of your life and stress is catabolic!
Zen