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Bitchslapped someone at lunch today...

jnevin

jnevin

New member
I took these two realtors that give me a good amount of business out to lunch today. Nice place, professional crowd, etc. So we're in the lobby which is pretty full, and there's this guy on his cell phone talking loud enough for everyone to hear. Dude's a douchebag, too. I'm guessing it was his wife, but he's totally putting her down.

* What are you, stupid?
* What did I just say?
* God you're an idiot.

Endless shit like that. Guy's right next to me. The women waiting were obviously uncomfortable, I'd say everyone was. So he hangs up and looks everyone over like he's the man.

Me: You really shouldn't talk to her like that.

Him: That's none of your fucking business!

Me: Exactly.

Him: The hell you trying to say, bud?

I hate being called bud

Me: If you want to make an ass of yourself, you should spare us all the next time and go outside.

Him: *pokes my chest* Fuck you. What are you going to do?

So I slapped him about as hard and with as much palm to the lips as possible. It was beautiful. His eye welled up, his lip might have been bleeding, and his whole face turned red.

He just left without another word. It felt great. I wasn't going to post this because fighting's dumb, but it felt so good I had to share.
 
K 2 U when I recharge bro. Bitch-slappin' rules!!!! :Chef: :tuc:
 
jnevin said:
I took these two realtors that give me a good amount of business out to lunch today. Nice place, professional crowd, etc. So we're in the lobby which is pretty full, and there's this guy on his cell phone talking loud enough for everyone to hear. Dude's a douchebag, too. I'm guessing it was his wife, but he's totally putting her down.

* What are you, stupid?
* What did I just say?
* God you're an idiot.

Endless shit like that. Guy's right next to me. The women waiting were obviously uncomfortable, I'd say everyone was. So he hangs up and looks everyone over like he's the man.

Me: You really shouldn't talk to her like that.

Him: That's none of your fucking business!

Me: Exactly.

Him: The hell you trying to say, bud?

I hate being called bud

Me: If you want to make an ass of yourself, you should spare us all the next time and go outside.

Him: *pokes my chest* Fuck you. What are you going to do?

So I slapped him about as hard and with as much palm to the lips as possible. It was beautiful. His eye welled up, his lip might have been bleeding, and his whole face turned red.

He just left without another word. It felt great. I wasn't going to post this because fighting's dumb, but it felt so good I had to share.
Click to expand...
hahahhaa i fucking love that shit. think they are all tough touching u saying "waht are you gunna do about it" and when u show em they cry and run away!!!

what did everyone around u say?
 
It felt good. I feel giddy thinking about it. This older lady that was waiting looked so proud of me. Didn't know how my business associates would take it, but it seemed to have gone ok. I was shaking halfway through lunch. lol
 
LOL sounds like you gave him one of those female-specialty slaps - the ones that burn for a short time right after the slap itself. ouch :)
 
jnevin said:
It felt good. I feel giddy thinking about it. This older lady that was waiting looked so proud of me. Didn't know how my business associates would take it, but it seemed to have gone ok. I was shaking halfway through lunch. lol
Click to expand...
Are you on the "gear"???? :Chef: :tuc:
 
SublimeZM said:
hahahhaa i fucking love that shit. think they are all tough touching u saying "waht are you gunna do about it" and when u show em they cry and run away!!!

what did everyone around u say?
Click to expand...


No one really said anything to me. They just started talking like "what was that guy's problem?" "what a jerk" etc. It's really not the kind of place where things like this happen. I fuggin' paid $95 for three people to eat lunch. I think everyone was stunned.
 
chefbone said:
Are you on the "gear"???? :Chef: :tuc:
Click to expand...


I got a few months till I'll be ready for that. I probably would have pulled his leg off and eaten it like a chicken wing deltoiddeltoid style if I were.
 
im proud of you
Teach the dumbshit to think hes "the man" because he can talk down to a female
yayyyyyyyyyyy
 
jnevin said:
I got a few months till I'll be ready for that. I probably would have pulled his leg off and eaten it like a chicken wing deltoiddeltoid style if I were.
Click to expand...
I hear ya. I'm on now and the rage is hitting me hard. :Chef: :tuc:
 
SoKlueles said:
im proud of you
Teach the dumbshit to think hes "the man" because he can talk down to a female
yayyyyyyyyyyy
Click to expand...

any man talking down to a female (not within the context of a joke) SHOULD be bitch slapped...then beaten a little bit so he feels how it is to be treated as an inferior. :bigbuck:
 
SublimeZM said:
did u start crying from adrenaline after?
Click to expand...
i hate taht.. happened to me in like 6th grade when I got into my first fight.. punched this dude out at the skating rink and then cried.. wtf???
 
SoKlueles said:
im proud of you
Teach the dumbshit to think hes "the man" because he can talk down to a female
yayyyyyyyyyyy
Click to expand...


No. I was fine with that. He was just too close to me and it was crowded.


j/k

That stuff makes my blood l\boil. Why marry someone if you're going to be that way?
 
I don't know. I think poking someone in the chest and asking that person if they're going to do anything about it DOES count as assault. Acting upon that is self defense. Any lawyers here who would want to clarify?
 
foobar said:
I don't know. I think poking someone in the chest and asking that person if they're going to do anything about it DOES count as assault. Acting upon that is self defense. Any lawyers here who would want to clarify?
Click to expand...


I know it's assault. Guy was bigger than me too. Just a pussy. And pwned.
 
jeez... no offence dood but i think its bang right out of order what u just did to that guy. absolutely none of ure business how that guy treats his lady in my opinion.

i also suggest if u do it again u make sure it aint a crazy dood man, that scene could of got real ugly if u picked the wrong guy. you were lucky.
 
i think that's great.

i can imagine how it felt good. i would silently thank him for every douchebag move...ESPECIALLY poking your chest and challenging you.

mmmm justification, taste that shit.
 
What I think is we need more violence in the world today. I'm all for bitch slapn'. Everyday there are people I want to bitch slap, they deserve it. That is great that you were afforded the perfect op to make it happen!
 
1_more_rep said:
any man talking down to a female (not within the context of a joke) SHOULD be bitch slapped...then beaten a little bit so he feels how it is to be treated as an inferior. :bigbuck:
Click to expand...

What about when a woman talks down to a man? You think he's just suppose to take it? People shouldn't talk down to each other period. Man or woman. Doesn't matter.
 
jnevin said:
He just left without another word. It felt great. I wasn't going to post this because fighting's dumb, but it felt so good I had to share.
Click to expand...

I love reading about shit like this! Makes my day even better. Karma for you!! :)
 
jnevin said:
I took these two realtors that give me a good amount of business out to lunch today. Nice place, professional crowd, etc. So we're in the lobby which is pretty full, and there's this guy on his cell phone talking loud enough for everyone to hear. Dude's a douchebag, too. I'm guessing it was his wife, but he's totally putting her down.

* What are you, stupid?
* What did I just say?
* God you're an idiot.

Endless shit like that. Guy's right next to me. The women waiting were obviously uncomfortable, I'd say everyone was. So he hangs up and looks everyone over like he's the man.

Me: You really shouldn't talk to her like that.

Him: That's none of your fucking business!

Me: Exactly.

Him: The hell you trying to say, bud?

I hate being called bud

Me: If you want to make an ass of yourself, you should spare us all the next time and go outside.

Him: *pokes my chest* Fuck you. What are you going to do?

So I slapped him about as hard and with as much palm to the lips as possible. It was beautiful. His eye welled up, his lip might have been bleeding, and his whole face turned red.

He just left without another word. It felt great. I wasn't going to post this because fighting's dumb, but it felt so good I had to share.
Click to expand...

are you serious, thats hilarious. next time dont even think about holding out on us.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
im leaning toward thinking you really had no business getting involved
Click to expand...


I really didn't try to get involved with his relationship, I was trying to be a smartass to him and make him feel like a douche for pwning himself in the middle of a crowded room. He brought the shit on himself when he touched me.

I have no doubt you would sit there and do nothing, little lady.
 
That WAS assault and battery actually. When he went towards you in an aggressive manner that was assault. As soon as he touched you it was battery. You are allowed to use reasonable force to defend yourself in those situations.
Fuck that guy. You know all the women there were uncomfortable around that guy.
He is lucky you didn't drop him with a closed fist!

The one line I was taught by the police I know was "I was in fear for my life". That way if you really fuck up the person it can be explained!
Works like a charm!!

Bravo to you!
 
This MAN, if he was talking to his wife, probably does it all the time. His parents don't do anything, her parents don't, their friends don't. It's not right, & the people that are supposed to be helping him are mum. So a helpful soul in the crowd decides to instruct him on the finer points of chivalrous behaviour & the gentleman doesn't quite get it. So the good samaritan has to accentuate the point to get it across. He was just doing his civic duty.
K when I reload.
We need more teachers.
 
superdave said:
Coporate mullet? Rob, thats justification alone for a massive bitchslapping.
Click to expand...


Yep. He probably sells cars or some shit. I got calls from the guys I took to lunch. They said they told their whole office about it and that some of the women in there are "interested". They can give me business. It's all good.
 
jerkbox said:
i didn't post on this thread, but I remember reading it
Click to expand...


I saw the guy walking out of 7-11 yesterday and rembered it. I think he recognized me, because he was looking at me without looking directly at me.
 
jh1 said:
LOL


HOw much coke did you do the night before?
Click to expand...


That was when I was doing it kind of frequently, but I probably didn't do any. That shit always gave me the worst hangovers and I like to look good and proffessional if I'm having a meeting with my bidness peeps.
 
jnevin said:
I saw the guy walking out of 7-11 yesterday and rembered it. I think he recognized me, because he was looking at me without looking directly at me.
Click to expand...


you shoulda feigned a bitchslap, then took his slushie
 
instead of slapping him you should have grabbed his finger he poked you with and broken it back.

thats what i woulda done
 
SublimeZM said:
instead of slapping him you should have grabbed his finger he poked you with and broken it back.

thats what i woulda done
Click to expand...



You sure do talk alot of shit, spanky.
 
lol good stuff,


i hate douchebags who make their business everyone else's by exposing it to the general population and then use the it's none of your business line. hahaaha.
 
Smurfy said:
lol good stuff,


i hate douchebags who make their business everyone else's by exposing it to the general population and then use the it's none of your business line. hahaaha.
Click to expand...


This describes you on EF.
 
jnevin said:
I took these two realtors that give me a good amount of business out to lunch today. Nice place, professional crowd, etc. So we're in the lobby which is pretty full, and there's this guy on his cell phone talking loud enough for everyone to hear. Dude's a douchebag, too. I'm guessing it was his wife, but he's totally putting her down.

* What are you, stupid?
* What did I just say?
* God you're an idiot.

Endless shit like that. Guy's right next to me. The women waiting were obviously uncomfortable, I'd say everyone was. So he hangs up and looks everyone over like he's the man.

Me: You really shouldn't talk to her like that.

Him: That's none of your fucking business!

Me: Exactly.

Him: The hell you trying to say, bud?

I hate being called bud

Me: If you want to make an ass of yourself, you should spare us all the next time and go outside.

Him: *pokes my chest* Fuck you. What are you going to do?

So I slapped him about as hard and with as much palm to the lips as possible. It was beautiful. His eye welled up, his lip might have been bleeding, and his whole face turned red.

He just left without another word. It felt great. I wasn't going to post this because fighting's dumb, but it felt so good I had to share.
Click to expand...

You commited assault and battery .. and she will back him up as being innocent of any wrongdoing.

Or ... I live in Detroit. He'd have pulled his 9mm amd shot you.

Always walk away or turn it over to Security.
 
yea, don't ever touch me, poke me in the chest??? you had better be ready to go to the hospital.. i am...
 
Lestat said:
i hate taht.. happened to me in like 6th grade when I got into my first fight.. punched this dude out at the skating rink and then cried.. wtf???
Click to expand...


lol kinda like the kid and the bully on "A Christmas Story". I would have loved to see that, poking the chest is asking to be hospitalized!!!
 
thelion2005 said:
You commited assault and battery .. and she will back him up as being innocent of any wrongdoing.

Or ... I live in Detroit. He'd have pulled his 9mm amd shot you.

Always walk away or turn it over to Security.
Click to expand...
maybe 1 in 100 anywhere and I'll always take those odds for a cool EF story.
 
SublimeZM said:
hahahhaa i fucking love that shit. think they are all tough touching u saying "waht are you gunna do about it" and when u show em they cry and run away!!!

what did everyone around u say?
Click to expand...


That's 99% of the fuckin hillbillies here in Texas they are all just talk.

I once open handed slapped a hillbilly so hard that is knocked him out cold.
 
He probably caught his wife cheating earlier that day and was telling her to move her stuff out, then gets bitchslapped for being upset/emotional.
 
alien amp pharm said:
He probably caught his wife cheating earlier that day and was telling her to move her stuff out, then gets bitchslapped for being upset/emotional.
Click to expand...


I don't think so. It sounded like they were talking about decorating or something.
 
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