being GAY.

[RyanH]

In the last year, I learned that a close friend of mine, Tom, from high school committed suicide because he was gay. Since he and I had not spoken since high school, I never knew that he had come to this realization.

I've been told that he killed himself because his family is very conservative & he didn't see how he could ever reconcile their religious, moral beliefs with his own sexuality. Also, he had no other gay people around him to confide in, leaving him incredibly isolated. Further, he was also an only child. Tom was 27.

I've been pretty tough on myself the last year over this issue, and have really been exploring the issue of what is so different from gay men and straight men? Are gays more self-destructive because of a sense of isolation, a sense of never being able to live up to family expectations......do many gay men just simply self-destruct? Are gays often vengeful towards one another because of jealousy or insecurity when in reality, they are the only ones who can probably truly understand one another?

In short, do people realize what gays must often live with? The stereotype of having AIDS. The stereotype of being sexually promiscous. The stereotype of doing drugs every weekend. Moreover, being disowned because of the one thing you can never change------YOUR SEXUALITY-----just like your eye color, there...it will always be.

Ryan.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

The stereotype of being sexually promiscous. The stereotype of doing drugs every weekend.

You and JohnnyO have both talked of acting this way. No stereotype.

The stereotype of having AIDS.

May1010.

 

[Golfer18--old]

Each to his own. I dont care if your gay. That doesnt bother me. Every political post you post really bothers me.

 

[RyanH]

Re: Re: being GAY.

You and JohnnyO have both talked of acting this way. No stereotype.

I've never spoken of partying every weekend (except maybe when I was 21). I just don't, nor do I consider myself any more promiscuous than the average person.

Do I occassionally go out? Sure. Do I have a trick every week? No.

But you know Goatslayer, even if your statement were factually correct, would two people acting a certain way warrant stereotyping all gays as being that way?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Re: Re: Re: being GAY.

would two people acting a certain way warrant stereotyping all gays as being that way?

Yes.

 

[RyanH]

Each to his own. I dont care if your gay. That doesnt bother me. Every political post you post really bothers me.

this thread isn't about me...it's about a general issue....the extra pressures gay men often find themselves under.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Pressures are self imposed, and also, self-removed.

I couldn't care less about someone's sexuality.

 

[starfish]

That is really sad about your friend Ryanh...

My brother is gay and I spend a lot of time with him and his friends. Many don't talk about their families and I often wonder if that is why. Heck, I've been treated differently because I have a gay brother so I know it must be tough..

It's completely ridiculous that people act that way. I've been treated with more loyalty and respect by the gay community than the straight. I think they really value their friendships because so many people discriminate.

My family is big and half is ultra conservative and I swear they are walking heart attacks and boring. They have no fun, just count their $$$ and then their is the fun half of my famiy..

Come party with me and my brother. We just got home from the most AWESOME vacation in Key West.. It was a lot of fun down there, made some really good friends

 

[HumorMe]

Re: Re: Re: Re: being GAY.

Yes.

Goatslayer
You can say so much with just one word. DAMN, I love your style!

This thread is gay.

 

[ShadowKnight]

As much as I am sorry to hear about your friend, I believe that you (and he for that matter) misconstrued reality.

Your friend did not commit suicide because he was gay. He committed suicide because he was unhappy with his life. His rejection from his family, dissonance with his morals and religious affiliations - this caused his depressive emotions, not his sexuality. To say that they are linked is feasible, but one is most not definitely the cause of the other.

People everywhere everyday deal with stereotypes regardless of their sexual orientation. It doesn't matter what sex, race, religion, or sexual preference someone is, they will always be a stereotype to someone.

In your query to the difference between straight and gay people: In my opinion, we are all the same. We have all loved someone, lost someone, and have been hurt by someone. We are all capable of love as well as hate. We all have good days and bad days. And, most importantly, we as Americans have every right and freedom to surround ourselves in an environment that will fulfill our personal needs.

Your friend simply didn't have the inner strength to accept who he was, identify himself, and adjust accordingly.

You should be happy for your friend. His life, being the ultimate form of indulgence, which was the dominant negative in his life, is now silenced by the ultimate abstinence - his death. He will never have to be miserable again. Not because of his sexual preference, but because of WHO he was.